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"M" Is for Mama 12: Birth Control Should Have Been Your BFF


nelliebelle1197

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2 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

What is so hard about washing your hair? I know you want attention, but for crying out loud, it takes less than 5 minutes!

Do you have short thin hair, by chance? It definitely takes me longer than 5 minutes to wash, condition, dry and style hair.

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26 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Do you have short thin hair, by chance? It definitely takes me longer than 5 minutes to wash, condition, dry and style hair.

Well, you can scratch dry and style. She has been known to comb her hair with a dirty fork from the floor of her rental car on the way to a family wedding. I doubt she combs her hair very often.

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My hair is very similar in texture and curl pattern to Braggie. Usually by day 4, it’s so tangled that if I waited any longer to wash it, I would risk having to cut knots out! 18 days is just insane. 

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1 hour ago, G33kywife said:

My hair is very similar in texture and curl pattern to Braggie. Usually by day 4, it’s so tangled that if I waited any longer to wash it, I would risk having to cut knots out! 18 days is just insane. 

If I wait a week, it's pretty much dreadlocks. My hair is curly and frizzy at the same time, it needs to be combed through and washed all the time, otherwise it turns into a haystack. 

My hair is a hairbrush destroyer. I have a hairbrush where most of the bristles have broken off in the fight with my hair. I need to stay on top of it every day. 

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6 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Do you have short thin hair, by chance? It definitely takes me longer than 5 minutes to wash, condition, dry and style hair.

Braggie doesn't seem like the dry and style type.

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I know I've said this before, but Braggie has so many options with her hair that my only conclusion is that she's proud of the dirty mats. For example, she could:

1) Have it cut to jaw length or if that is too "mannish" shoulder length. I think it would look nice even shorter but I know that would never fly in her world. I just can't imagine dealing daily with babies and toddlers with her hair. She's just asking for it to be pulled and caked with food, spit-up, snot, drool, etc.

2) She has money and babysitters. Schedule hair appointments once or twice a week for a shampoo and blowout. 

3) Wear buns, French twists, braids, etc. to keep her hair out of the way and hide the mess. )

There have certainly been times in which I was unable to wash my hair for a long interval: backpacking, week-long hospitalization (it hurt to move), no hot water, etc. But I wasn't proud of this and didn't tell others how dirty my hair was. It's just such an odd, baffling badge of honor for her.

 

 

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36 minutes ago, So-Virgin-It-Hurts said:

I know I've said this before, but Braggie has so many options with her hair that my only conclusion is that she's proud of the dirty mats. For example, she could:

1) Have it cut to jaw length or if that is too "mannish" shoulder length. I think it would look nice even shorter but I know that would never fly in her world. I just can't imagine dealing daily with babies and toddlers with her hair. She's just asking for it to be pulled and caked with food, spit-up, snot, drool, etc.

2) She has money and babysitters. Schedule hair appointments once or twice a week for a shampoo and blowout. 

3) Wear buns, French twists, braids, etc. to keep her hair out of the way and hide the mess. )

There have certainly been times in which I was unable to wash my hair for a long interval: backpacking, week-long hospitalization (it hurt to move), no hot water, etc. But I wasn't proud of this and didn't tell others how dirty my hair was. It's just such an odd, baffling badge of honor for her.

 

 

She used to have short hair. It always looked really nice. But now she needs something to set her apart and martyr herself over. If she got weekly hair appointments, she couldn’t be a martyr! She sacrifices so much for her kids 🙄

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On 2/13/2022 at 3:07 PM, Zommom said:

18 days. 

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Trigger warning: explicit description of medical emergency in box.

 

Spoiler

18 days!! Ewww! I was partially scalped due to a TBI/head injury and the resulting work to repair it, and didn’t go 18 days without washing my hair. If I can have help washing around all those staples and stitches, and to wash, condition, and comb the hair they managed to leave intact this broad can wash her damn hair at least once a week.

 

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She looks so pretty and natural in that photo compared to what she looks like now.  And her eyebrows are actually on her browbones, not an inch above. 

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7 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

She looks so pretty and natural in that photo compared to what she looks like now.  And her eyebrows are actually on her browbones, not an inch above. 

I get that she has pulled her eyebrows to non existence. But she could draw them lower. 

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Man oh man does her current hairstyle make her face appear so much longer. She is not doing herself any favors with this current length.

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I do have a long face as well. I will say the curly long looks better than the straight long. The straight long is really awful. She rarely does her hair like that though. My hair is getting pretty long but I’m fat so it fills out my long face well 😛

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23 hours ago, SassyPants said:

The shorter hair cut she sported 5 kids ago was far more becoming. I understand longer hair can be easier for some people, but that mane is so unruly and thick. It has to be really uncomfortable in the TX heat.

She could make dramatic instagram stories of her bravery and generosity in shearing her dirty, tangled locks and donating to Locks of Love.

Finding a suitable fundie mom-do is a challenge. Erica Shupe pulled off a cute pixie, proving fundie moms can have sensible mom hair and still be fundie. @SassyPants, I agree a short cut would work better with her whole life.

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Has she denied using any products in her hair when she doesn't wash it? It wouldn't surprise me if she regularly (daily after workouts) uses some kind of dry shampoo or leave-in shampoo. I just can't believe she doesn't use anything on her hair for that length of time. I wouldn't put it past her to say she hasn't "washed" it for however long all the while using leave-in products daily that don't require water. Who knows. Still one of the weirdest flexes I've heard. 

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18 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

If I wait a week, it's pretty much dreadlocks. My hair is curly and frizzy at the same time, it needs to be combed through and washed all the time, otherwise it turns into a haystack. 

My hair is a hairbrush destroyer. I have a hairbrush where most of the bristles have broken off in the fight with my hair. I need to stay on top of it every day. 

I’m sure it’s not your intention, but actual locs are not the result of hair getting tangled. It’s a very specific hair style that requires a lot of work and upkeep, and the individuals I know who have them tend to shudder at the comparison to tangled hair. I understood what you meant by what you said, but just wanted to clarify that point for anybody reading along. 

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6 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

She looks so pretty and natural in that photo compared to what she looks like now.  And her eyebrows are actually on her browbones, not an inch above. 

I wonder how long after delivery this photo was taken. I’m assuming pretty quickly as the babies still have acrocyanosis. Most of the photos I have that were taken shortly after giving birth, I am looking at my baby(ies). I think that if I had birthed twins at home, I would like be staring at them for a good, long time.

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7 hours ago, G33kywife said:

I’m sure it’s not your intention, but actual locs are not the result of hair getting tangled. It’s a very specific hair style that requires a lot of work and upkeep, and the individuals I know who have them tend to shudder at the comparison to tangled hair. I understood what you meant by what you said, but just wanted to clarify that point for anybody reading along. 

Yeah, for sure, I know what you mean. No offense meant to real dreadlocks. My hair gets incredibly matted, like, clumpy, if I don't brush and wash it constantly, so to my untrained eye, it looks similar to dreadlocks. Actual long mats. 

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9 hours ago, bea said:

What does “stay in our Christ given lanes” even MEAN?
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Christ told her to wreck her van with a passel of kids in it, I guess?

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Until she stops posting unflattering and unkind things about her recently turned 3 YO son on the WWW, I will disregard any comment she makes about how having baby after baby is about accepting a gift from God who is made in HIS likeness, and what a privilege and honor it is-

She has a choice to either walk her talk or stop talking about this subject altogether.

She is so lacking in self awareness.

And I cant imagine how that little boy is treated when Abbie isn’t getting attention. I’m betting at best, she ignores him much of the time.

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IDK, most people I know who are parents, even people who didn't plan on children when they arrived, do not think "oh great, another responsibility I have to care for." 

Another example of Abbie being so self-centered that only her own experience can be possible. Abbie, you think everyone has to convince themselves that having children is a blessing, but really that's you that feels that way. And so of course we wonder why you insisted on having so many children.

In Abbie's world, people who don't believe in God could never love their kids and see parenting as a privilege. It's so twisted/

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9 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Yeah, for sure, I know what you mean. No offense meant to real dreadlocks. My hair gets incredibly matted, like, clumpy, if I don't brush and wash it constantly, so to my untrained eye, it looks similar to dreadlocks. Actual long mats. 

I would encourage you to stop using the word dreadlock to compare tangled hair to an actual hairstyle though. Whether in real life or online. The implication is that dreadlocks are dirty, and nothing could be further from the truth for real locs. For the Black community, it’s just another way that hairstyles have been demonized as unkempt, unprofessional, or unclean. I am not trying to come across as harsh or nagging. I didn’t know any better until somebody educated me, so I just want to share. 

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There is a gal I follow on FB and social media whose passion is helping parents and caregivers with positive childrearing.  She has a degree and over 10 years of experience teaching in elementary special education classrooms and currently has a 3yo of her own. She posted this today and I couldn't help but think of Braggie's little boys, especially Shiloh, and how much they would benefit from this kind of parenting instead of "you're a sinner who needs saving I have to break your will".  

:::::::"You're the meanest mommy in all of the land". This was said in the middle of a tantrum, which was the result of too many transitions for my son's little body and brain to handle. Did I like to hear that? No. Did I take it personally? Definitely not. Do people say things they don't mean when they're upset? Absolutely. (Adults too) Once he was calm, we talked. "When you were upset you said I was the meanest mommy in all the land." "I'm sorry mama. I didn't mean it." "Okay. Sometimes we say things we don't mean when we're upset. How were you feeling?"  "Mad. And I wanted you to be mad with me." Because his feeling was too big, he tried to offload some of that onto me. So I could join him and he could feel less alone.

Here's the thing:

We don't want our children to feel alone when they're distressed, we want them to feel supported. We can do this by validating their feelings. "You're mad because we had to stop playing." Don't take their behavior personally. Don't join their chaos. The best thing we can do when they're upset and out of control is to stay calm and model what being in control looks like.

Here's why:

Our children depend on us and need us to help them calm down. This is called co-regulation. Before our children can learn to calm themselves down they need lots and lots and lots of practice coming back to calm, with the help of a supportive adult. They need us to share our calm.::::::::

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Itty bitty is 19 months old. She really can't communicate yet (so that we can understand her) so she gets frustrated. Frustration leads to tantrums and crying. Calmness and talking to her, telling her I understand she's frustrated and offering a lap and a cuddle and trying, calmly, to figure out why she's frustrated works wonders. Ends up with a happy baby, an unfrazzled grandma, and a need met. 

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