"M" Is for Mama 12: Birth Control Should Have Been Your BFF

[SassyPants]

I tend to expect more solid, inclusive and worldly thoughts and convictions from those who have more resources and choices in life. I truly believe that for those have much, much is expected. When you know better you should do better. Abbie is educated and perfectly worldly. She is well traveled, owns nice things, is bilingual and has every opportunity at her finger tips, yet she spews crap that indicates the exact opposite. If you didn’t know her history, you’d think she was raised in a hole having never seen the light of day from the posts that she publicly makes.

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

She's a more privileged versions of Jill.  She has more money and status. Also Abbie seems to be the first generation fundie, while Jill is second generation fundie. 

Braggie has said her parents are messianic. So a different type of fundie. And she chose to be a different type of fundie than her parents and she wasn't shunned. She’s extremely privileged in that way too. 

10 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I tend to expect more solid, inclusive and worldly thoughts and convictions from those who have more resources and choices in life. I truly believe that for those have much, much is expected. When you know better you should do better. Abbie is educated and perfectly worldly. She is well traveled, owns nice things, is bilingual and has every opportunity at her finger tips, yet she spews crap that indicates the exact opposite. If you didn’t know her history, you’d think she was raised in a hole having never seen the light of day from the posts that she publicly makes.

I agree. It makes her so much worse. It reminds me of trump.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Is her brother fundie?

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Braggie has said her parents are messianic. So a different type of fundie. And she chose to be a different type of fundie than her parents and she wasn't shunned. She’s extremely privileged in that way too. 

I agree. It makes her so much worse. It reminds me of trump.

Also I always wonder how she ended up leaving it up to God.

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Is her brother fundie?

Also I always wonder how she ended up leaving it up to God.

Technically she doesn’t. She has admitted to using something for spacing (my guess condoms). So she’s not even leaving it up to god even though she claims she does. Because she lies for back pats. 

[Ozlsn]

4 hours ago, SassyPants said:

If you didn’t know her history, you’d think she was raised in a hole

But a nicely decorated, Anthropologie-filled hole.

[JillRodsEyeliner]

20 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Abbie thinks that she can couch her disdain for many things: her kids, pregnancy, housework, twins, toddlers, Shiloh, BC, anyone who does not think or worship exactly how she does, the poor, minorities…in Jesus speak and the art of bitching, and she believes that the rest of society does not see through her bitchiness and hatred of all things that are not Abbie or Abbie approved. 

Why doesn't she like Shilo?

[Giraffe]

34 minutes ago, JillRodsEyeliner said:

Why doesn't she like Shilo?

He’s a typical toddler and doesn’t act in a way that’s convenient for her so she posts awful things about him as often as possible. 

[EmiSue]

22 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

He’s a typical toddler and doesn’t act in a way that’s convenient for her so she posts awful things about him as often as possible. 

He also had the misfortune to be not quite a year old when she got pregnant with her twin boys, so he still needed a lot of care when she was miserable in yet another twin pregnancy and then actually having twins. How inconsiderate of him not to mature more quickly just because Mama had twins again. Sarcasm, obviously, but I swear she unconsciously resents him for exactly this. 

[JillRodsEyeliner]

54 minutes ago, EmiSue said:

He also had the misfortune to be not quite a year old when she got pregnant with her twin boys, so he still needed a lot of care when she was miserable in yet another twin pregnancy and then actually having twins. How inconsiderate of him not to mature more quickly just because Mama had twins again. Sarcasm, obviously, but I swear she unconsciously resents him for exactly this. 

Poor baby. She really needs to stop having kids. 

[neuroticcat]

On 12/7/2021 at 2:50 PM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Is her brother fundie?

Also I always wonder how she ended up leaving it up to God.

I first discovered her because I came across a video clip of her speaking at a Mennonite conference. IIRC she’s always felt strongly anti birth control, since her high school years. I vaguely remember her saying it was something she would bring up on dates. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I first discovered her because I came across a video clip of her speaking at a Mennonite conference. IIRC she’s always felt strongly anti birth control, since her high school years. I vaguely remember her saying it was something she would bring up on dates. 

The thing is, if her parents were anti birth control, her childhood would have been extremely different. Her parents had two children and her mother was to completely devote herself to her children’s educations. That’s why she could graduate at 16 and go straight to college. She complained her father worked constantly so her mom could afford to homeschool two children. If they had 10 kids, they would have been very poor. Because if money is tight with 2 kids, money will be practically non existent with 10. Plus she would have had to help parent her siblings. I get the impression Braggie grew up a spoiled fundie princess like Jill Rod. Plus if she had 9 siblings, her mother wouldn’t have the time to homeschool Braggie’s kids part time. Braggie has no idea how horrible her life would have been and would be today if her parents were anti-birth control. 

[SassyPants]

And in her Wednesday questions, someone asked how she entertains her toddlers and AH says “ I don’t because that’s not my job any more.” Why? Because she has older kids. WTAH. Your older kids didn’t ask to parent YOUR other kids, Abbie.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

40 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I first discovered her because I came across a video clip of her speaking at a Mennonite conference. IIRC she’s always felt strongly anti birth control, since her high school years. I vaguely remember her saying it was something she would bring up on dates. 

She's anti birth-control, but does use some natural family planning. It's not a fool-proof system. Yes it's something she brought up on dates. I think most of the mothers with mega families eventually hit burn out and lose focus in motherhood. Abbie is unique in that she never really seemed to enjoy motherhood.

Edited December 9, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

And in her Wednesday questions, someone asked how she entertains her toddlers and AH says “ I don’t because that’s not my job any more.” Why? Because she has older kids. WTAH. Your older kids didn’t ask to parent YOUR other kids, Abbie.

I wouldn’t bother keeping a toddler entertained either. There are plenty of kids around the house to play with. But I would argue it’s not just entertaining she’s avoiding. I think she just doesn’t watch them. And that’s why they get into some very messy and destructive situations. There’s entertaining your kids, and then there’s taking care of them. Braggie makes her older kids do both. 

[Cults-r-us]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Braggie has no idea how horrible her life would have been and would be today if her parents were anti-birth control. 

Braggie just plainly has no idea about a lot of things. That is because Braggie is terribly flawed: she is incapable of introspection, empathy, selflessness, gaining wisdom or maturity and probably really being able to love anybody, only inanimate objects (like rugs). That is why she cannot parent.

[JillRodsEyeliner]

35 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wouldn’t bother keeping a toddler entertained either. There are plenty of kids around the house to play with. But I would argue it’s not just entertaining she’s avoiding. I think she just doesn’t watch them. And that’s why they get into some very messy and destructive situations. There’s entertaining your kids, and then there’s taking care of them. Braggie makes her older kids do both. 

So her sons are brother-dads and the girls are sister-moms?

[SassyPants]

I figured “entertained” was code for mind or keeping track of.  She cleared it up perfectly in my mind when she brought the older kids into the conversation. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, JillRodsEyeliner said:

So her sons are brother-dads and the girls are sister-moms?

Definitely. Before her oldest daughter was old enough, she pushed the parenting onto her oldest son Ezra. She’s been bragging about his parenting the children for many years now. She thinks it makes her look so good because her son is so helpful. But really it makes her look very bad because she’s been forcing her oldest to parent her kids since he was 10. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

6 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

I first discovered her because I came across a video clip of her speaking at a Mennonite conference. IIRC she’s always felt strongly anti birth control, since her high school years. I vaguely remember her saying it was something she would bring up on dates. 

I was so tired, I missed something reading this the first time. Yeah, I still don't understand where her anti-BC stance came from. Usually there is a cult behind someone's convictions; it's odd that she just randomly decided this as a teenager. Most people mature from their teen years.

[neuroticcat]

2 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I was so tired, I missed something reading this the first time. Yeah, I still don't understand where her anti-BC stance came from. Usually there is a cult behind someone's convictions; it's odd that she just randomly decided this as a teenager. Most people mature from their teen years.

I don’t remember it very clearly because it was kind of playing in the background, but I think she may have not thought about it all until she did a personal Bible study late teens and had a moment of “conviction” sort of thing. Which, it seems, grew into an identity. 
 

Today she posted quotes from all her kids with pros and cons of a big family. Shockingly, virtually no cons (I think maybe one kid said screaming children?) I think it’s the rare kid who is going to actually say the con to a parent so heavily invested in it. That’s like one of the Duggar kids being like “meh, not everything about another baby is a blessing” on the show. 

I am always really sad to see social media moms who seem to never outgrow posting their toddlers every move (which I don’t like any better). At some point, preserve your kids’ privacy - stop posting their thoughts, curated by you - I HATED it when my mom told her BFF over the phone things I said as a tween/teen. I cannot imagine being an influencer’s kid and having to perform to boot. I also wonder when the red pill moment is for moms who are so invested in “intentional mothering” that they don’t realize it’s narcissistic and will likely cost them relationships with their kids. Presuming it’s authentic but misdirected desire to be a good mom, I’m  really sad it will inevitably be such a fail for the kids.

I say this as the daughter of an abusive, narcissistic, and engulfing mother who found it genuinely incomprehensible when I finally told her the truth in mediation counseling - she couldn’t understand how all her “best” was destructive.

[zee_four]

God bringing up being anti BC on dates. I'm surprised she ever found a husband. She married young so she was really young I'm assuming bringing this up on dates. All the guys I know would have GTFO ASAP after hearing the 17, 18, 19 year old girl/young woman bring that up on a date. I wonder what about OfBraggie found that attractive and puts up with all her crap. We don't know much about Shawn (finally remembered his name now) but he's got to be just as pathological as Braggie IMO. 

[JillRodsEyeliner]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Definitely. Before her oldest daughter was old enough, she pushed the parenting onto her oldest son Ezra. She’s been bragging about his parenting the children for many years now. She thinks it makes her look so good because her son is so helpful. But really it makes her look very bad because she’s been forcing her oldest to parent her kids since he was 10. 

Is he around 15 now? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, JillRodsEyeliner said:

Is he around 15 now? 

Yes, I think he might be almost 16. 

[theotherelise]

She was engaged before Shaun and it ended, so she seemed very intent to get married young.

Clara Nollkamper is private now, but she and Abbie had a lot in common IMO. Neither had any community pressure to have a lot of children. They both like to claim that it's a lot easier than people think. They both think very highly of their education and appearance.

Abbie, however, steeps every post in weaponized calvinism about how her children are sinning sinners. Meanwhile they're just toddlers.

[SassyPants]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Definitely. Before her oldest daughter was old enough, she pushed the parenting onto her oldest son Ezra. She’s been bragging about his parenting the children for many years now. She thinks it makes her look so good because her son is so helpful. But really it makes her look very bad because she’s been forcing her oldest to parent her kids since he was 10. 

I have an ultra religious friend who married and had 3 kids in 3 years. She is also a bit of an attention seeker. She recently made a post on one of her kid’s birthdays about how she Had birthed her at 6 AM was home making her family lunch at noon. I told my husband that her post made her husband look bad, but I doubt my friend realized that fact. Who births a 10 lb baby and is up   A few hours later “serving” anyone? What man wouldn’t get up and help or bring his wife lunch in bed?