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Lori Alexander 80: So Warm and Inviting


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12 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Also, actively mothering someone is a time-limited activity. Once they hit 18, most kids don't need or want any  mothering. They are trying to grow up and be independent. So after 20 or so years of mothering, what else does she want to do? Her oldest is pushing 40, and the others aren't far behind. Lori no longer has much "mothering" to do.

This is true to a point. "Active mothering" in terms of educating, guiding and even disciplining kids pretty much ends at 18. BUT...even after they're 18 there's still mothering to be done. It looks much different but it's still mothering. Mom becomes a sounding board, font of advice, occasional defender (see son's crazy X). In my experience, mom is still needed, but in a different way.

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8 hours ago, feministxtian said:

This is true to a point. "Active mothering" in terms of educating, guiding and even disciplining kids pretty much ends at 18. BUT...even after they're 18 there's still mothering to be done. It looks much different but it's still mothering. Mom becomes a sounding board, font of advice, occasional defender (see son's crazy X). In my experience, mom is still needed, but in a different way.

And if they have kids, there's "grandmothering" as a possibility, too. Even if they don't, there's plenty of times I know I've called my parents for advice or help as an adult.

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36 minutes ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

And if they have kids, there's "grandmothering" as a possibility, too. Even if they don't, there's plenty of times I know I've called my parents for advice or help as an adult.

the grandmothering gig is the best. All the fun and none of the responsibility. Itty Bitty got hold of my water bottle that didn't have water in it. Turns out the kid is an iced tea w/lemon fiend. Thank goodness mommy and daddy weren't home. I mean grandmas are for getting to eat what you shouldn't, drinking what you shouldn't, watching TV you shouldn't, getting to stay up late, playing, laughing, hugs, kisses, faces that light up when you come in the door and crumple and cry when you leave. Grandsons who think it's terribly important to check in with grandma every day because they want to make sure the dog and cats are ok. Its a grand life. 

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It’s been almost 20 years since grandma died but in the past few years my mom has trickle truthed some opinions about her first MIL to me.

It is God’s perfect plan for Lori to stay home and be financially supported by a husband. It was God’s perfect plan for my grandma that her son died from a health condition he unexpectedly and for unknown reasons developed a decade prior, leaving behind a young wife and toddler. Thank goodness my mom had a decent college degree and had already been supporting the family financially while I was in daycare and my dad stayed at home. (In his last year of life he was in and out of the hospital.)

Lori, it can’t be God’s perfect plan as designed for men and women if not every family fits into the cookie cutter mold you want to squeeze them into. I don’t believe that God makes mistakes, but I also don’t believe that people should use Him to pat themselves on the back in self righteousness. And while I still love my grandma and don’t think it’s wrong to self comfort with religion, it was wrong of her to share her opinion with my mom like that and not recognize that it couldn’t ease my mom’s temporal burdens in any way.

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On 11/8/2021 at 9:13 AM, louisa05 said:

Today in crazy Lori: women  singing ruins hymns: 

  Hide contents

E2F1774E-3CFF-4F7B-A200-48B1187FB25B.jpeg.cc12d3fb129f328a9d59d1bc58dd75f3.jpeg

 

Every time I see a man with that avatar I assume he has nothing good to say. Lol what’s keeping men from singing beside their own fragile masculinity? Okay bud be the change you want to see in the world. I swear men act like they just can’t do anything because it’s too feminine. It’s amazing they complain about churches being too feminine despite being run predominantly by men. 

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On 11/10/2021 at 10:28 AM, feministxtian said:

This is true to a point. "Active mothering" in terms of educating, guiding and even disciplining kids pretty much ends at 18. BUT...even after they're 18 there's still mothering to be done. It looks much different but it's still mothering. Mom becomes a sounding board, font of advice, occasional defender (see son's crazy X). In my experience, mom is still needed, but in a different way.

Absolutely! I have two adult kids and they need me more than I thought they would. But it's definitely a different relationship than actively parenting a minor child (mostly because I can't force them to do what I want now!)

21 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Every time I see a man with that avatar I assume he has nothing good to say. Lol what’s keeping men from singing beside their own fragile masculinity? Okay bud be the change you want to see in the world. I swear men act like they just can’t do anything because it’s too feminine. It’s amazing they complain about churches being too feminine despite being run predominantly by men. 

So why doesn't this big shot go sing in a church with "thundering masculinity"? Afraid of being laughed at, I suspect. 

It amazes me how weak, emotional women manage to stop all these guys from doing the things that will fix the world. If they are such "leaders", why don't they fix everything then?

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21 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Every time I see a man with that avatar I assume he has nothing good to say. Lol what’s keeping men from singing beside their own fragile masculinity? Okay bud be the change you want to see in the world.

And while you’re at it, learn how to spell “diaphragm.”

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Lori is going on on IG about how "sick" children are today and asking folks to weigh in on why things are SO BAD now when they were JUST FINE in the olden days when kids lived off of fresh air and sunshine.  She and many others blame vaccinations and a whole host of things. EXCEPT not one of those braintrusts actually site REAL science. Just because someone "thinks" something is true doesn't make it so.  Apparently one brave soul offered that we have better diagnoses now and understanding of diseases/conditions that were ALWAYS there and she dismisses it.   

Just for curiosity sake I googled child mortality 1800 to present and found LOTS of data:

 

The child mortality rate in the United States, for children under the age of five, was 462.9 deaths per thousand births in 1800. This means that for every thousand babies born in 1800, over 46 percent did not make it to their fifth birthday. Over the course of the next 220 years, this number has dropped drastically, and the rate has dropped to its lowest point ever in 2020 where it is just seven deaths per thousand births. Although the child mortality rate has decreased greatly over this 220 year period, there were two occasions where it increased; in the 1870s, as a result of the fourth cholera pandemic, smallpox outbreaks, and yellow fever, and in the late 1910s, due to the Spanish Flu pandemic.

 

Of course, I agree with Lori and many of her respondents (I KNOW!! the horror right?!)...that too much processed food, inactivity and screen time aren't great in abundance for children's health, but in general life expectancy for all age groups has increased. again, a quick search show that life expectancy (from birth) in the United States has risen from 39.4 years in 1860, to 78.9 years in 2020.

But with Lori either either all one way or another.  I can agree eating well, exercise, and fresh air is good, but advances in modern medicine is ALSO good.  It's not either or or!! 

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4 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

But with Lori either either all one way or another.  I can agree eating well, exercise, and fresh air is good, but advances in modern medicine is ALSO good.  It's not either or or!

I do not understand why these people can't see that there's virtually nothing that is "all or nothing". Well, except maybe birth and death. Can't be a little alive or a little dead. However, the rest of life pretty much consists of "either/and not "neither/nor". 

I don't think it has anything to do with Christianity though. I think it has everything to do with abdicating your ability to think critically due to intellectual laziness. I get it, Its easier to be black/white, to avoid thinking critically. But, it's fucking BORING and not a great way to form any sort of opinion nor worldview. 

Disclaimer: I am a church going, bible studying, active member of my church. 

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10 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I do not understand why these people can't see that there's virtually nothing that is "all or nothing". Well, except maybe birth and death. Can't be a little alive or a little dead. 

I don't know, Miracle Max was able to make a miracle when Westley was "mostly dead". 

I agree totally, though, Nothing in life is black and white. I think even birth and death have shades, every now and again there'll be articles debating exactly what determines death - is it brain activity, heart activity, respiration? A combo of those? Who decides? In the end death is death, but it's a process to get there. 

I wonder sometimes exactly what is going on with these people. Are they really that stupid? Have they just been discouraged from critical thinking or never taught how to think? Are they lazy (Yes, for Lori!) and actual thinking takes too much effort? 

I think many of them are afraid. Probably not Lori. She's too sure of herself and holier-than-thou and narcissistic. But many of the people who read her posts? I think they live their lives in fear. They are terrified they weren't really "saved" when they thought they were. They're terrified they'll accidentally break some "rule" in the Bible that they've missed. They're afraid that if they think too hard, they might ask questions and have doubts, and if they do that they might go to hell. 

They don't want to wonder how a loving creator father God can also be the vengeful "hey go sacrifice your son to me" and "I'm going to put you in hell if you don't follow my rules to the letter" one seen especially in the Old Testament. They don't want to wonder about contradictions. They also don't want the extra work of "love thy neighbor" and the service that goes along with that. Following Jesus and his example is harder than ticking off boxes on a list - and in some ways might contradict what they think or have been taught is "right". It takes some thinking and work to resolve all that stuff in your mind and find what resonates and has meaning for you. 

Their pastors, and Lori, make life much easier for them. Check off these boxes, go to heaven. Don't ask questions, don't wonder, don't doubt. Just follow this list of rules and the pearly gates will open right up. (They hope. But they're never QUITE sure. Which is one of the things keeping them tied in to their beliefs, and makes it easy for people like Lori and predatory pastors to take advantage of them.)

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On 11/9/2021 at 3:27 PM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Will she ever stop harping on the fact she wanted to be a wife and mother so every woman must want the same?  I've always wanted to learn to tap dance (and have) but it's not for everyone.

No, she will never stop. It's very annoying. I never wanted to be a mother. I hated little kids when I was a kid. I thought my friend was insane, when, in junior high (i remember this conversation very clearly), she told me during a game of MASH that she didn't have anything to put on the other "other flaps" because the only thing she wanted to do is be a stay-at-home mom. She did go to college and got a degree in communications, but she is, in fact, a stay at home mom. Just like her mom. And she's the one who plans her extended family stuff. I think it's great that she worked hard and her husband works hard so that they can have that privileged lifestyle that she loves and wanted. I, on the other hand, never really knew and changed majors a thousand times and moved to Alaska to work for NPOs. It's great, and if I wanted to have kids, most of the places I've worked are very, very good to working parents in comparison to the horror stories I hear online. However, it's still the United States so there are many countries that offer better work/life balance and family support. 

I wanted to learn ballet, but the only classes available to me were tap. I hated tap. However I can stop ball change in my sleep. 

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

They don't want to wonder how a loving creator father God can also be the vengeful "hey go sacrifice your son to me" and "I'm going to put you in hell if you don't follow my rules to the letter" one seen especially in the Old Testament. They don't want to wonder about contradictions. They also don't want the extra work of "love thy neighbor" and the service that goes along with that. Following Jesus and his example is harder than ticking off boxes on a list - and in some ways might contradict what they think or have been taught is "right". It takes some thinking and work to resolve all that stuff in your mind and find what resonates and has meaning for you. 

I do believe some of it IS fear. They've been taught that God is loving but also vengeful and just waiting for you to fuck up. They're afraid to "love thy neighbor" because that neighbor might be the "wrong" sort of person (totally forgetting Jesus and the Samarian woman). Following Christ is HARD. Much of it goes against the "status quo". 

My particular denomination starts with the premise "God is Love". We don't believe in eternal punishment, so operating out of fear of that is not possible. We believe that God loves us and wants us to enjoy the future with Him. He doesn't want to see any of his children perish. We do what we do out of LOVE, for God and His creations. We also believe heavily in science, medical care, caring for others in many ways. Oh, and we lean Democrat too. 

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You guys. At this very moment, Lori Alexander is doing a live Q and A on YouTube.

I will not be participating, I can't abide her voice and her simpery little laugh, but I know some of the rest of you are far braver than I, so thought you ought to know.😆

 

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On 11/12/2021 at 12:09 PM, smittykins said:

And while you’re at it, learn how to spell “diaphragm.”

And that the word he wanted was sung, not sang.

Men sing hymns.

Men are singing hymns.

Men sang hymns.

Hymns are being sung, in the manner in which they were written to be sung, by men.

Spoiler

image.thumb.png.0009bcbe278fd4a9488183e1b8c06ed5.png

When I conducted a church choir, any bass or tenor who needed to thunder excused himself to the bathroom.

In a very masculine manner, of course.

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On 11/17/2021 at 11:55 AM, Loveday said:

You guys. At this very moment, Lori Alexander is doing a live Q and A on YouTube.

I will not be participating, I can't abide her voice and her simpery little laugh, but I know some of the rest of you are far braver than I, so thought you ought to know.😆

I did it. I watched the replay (of apparently the second one...she did it twice because she didn't know what she was doing and lost the first version.)   It's hysterical...Ken calls right at the beginning and she doesn't know what to do. She said "my husband is calling me" then she goes to give an explanation of what he's doing/where he is but thinks better of it and says "I'll call him later"....Wait? I thought wives were to be at their husband's beck and call.  She always say "do what your husband says immediately and without complaint."  Why is she making Ken wait???

Also...just BEC but what is with her hair??

 

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@SongRed7I give you credit for getting through that. I didn’t even make it 3 minutes in. 

She goes on and on about how difficult it is doing her “You Tubes” live. Yeah, life’s tough  

And you’re right, Ken calling in (and Lori declining his call) is hilarious, and exactly the opposite of what she would tell others  to do (not surprising).

Of course, as we all know, Ken could be in a hospital in bad shape, and she’d worry about herself and her own needs. 
 

Even without her toxic beliefs, she would drive me crazy if I knew her irl.  She is so flighty, and that silly little giggle is like nails on a blackboard to me. 
 


 

 

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3 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

I did it. I watched the replay (of apparently the second one...she did it twice because she didn't know what she was doing and lost the first version.)   It's hysterical...Ken calls right at the beginning and she doesn't know what to do. She said "my husband is calling me" then she goes to give an explanation of what he's doing/where he is but thinks better of it and says "I'll call him later"....Wait? I thought wives were to be at their husband's beck and call.  She always say "do what your husband says immediately and without complaint."  Why is she making Ken wait???

Also...just BEC but what is with her hair??

 

You watched the whole thing?!!11?? 😮 You're my new hero. LOL.

Her hair needs a good conditioning treatment, stat. And a better diet than she's getting now. We need SOME fat in our diets, and it's clear Lori isn't getting any at all.

I can't believe she didn't answer the phone. :laughing-rolling:  Or better yet, turn off the ringer while she was doing her 'live.'

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Lori needs to stop coloring her hair with whatever cheap-ass home color she's using. It's not the home color --  it's that the color is so cheap it's frying her hair, I suggest using one with a separate conditioner or an oil base. I think there's one called Olio?

She definitely needs a better diet with some fat and weekly deep-conditioning treatments to fix that dead dark brown straw that passes for hair. Conditioning shampoo wouldn't hurt either.

In photos just a few years ago Lori's hair looked so much better. She looked so much better. Her hair was healthy and styled. She wore make-up, and wasn't nearly as drawn, sallow and wrinkled as now.  Lori has smoker's wrinkles around her mouth. Since we absolutely know she never ever never ever, ever smoked I can only assume they are from continuously pursing her lips in disapproval about everyone and everything.  I know this because my MIL, who never ever smoked, has those wrinkles from continuously pursing her lips in disapproval about everyone and everything.

BEC -- Lori tells us we must look our best for our husbands. Wear make-up. Wear our hair long if they like it long. Ken likes long hair. I wouldn't call Lori's hair long. I wouldn't call how she looks in the "You Tubes" her best. Sooooo........ is this another case of Lori's 'do as I say, not as I do" hypocrisy?

Say it ain't so.  I'm shocked, shocked.  Shocked I am!!!!

Edited by Red Hair, Black Dress
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9 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I suggest using one with a separate conditioner or an oil base. I think there's one called Olio?

That's the one I use when I can't afford a professional job. She needs to blow some $$ on shampoo/conditioner too. 

https://www.ulta.com/p/k-pak-color-therapy-color-protecting-shampoo-pimprod2018623

https://www.ulta.com/p/k-pak-color-therapy-conditioner-pimprod2016268

I use these products...even living in the desert they put enough moisture in my hair again that my curls came back. 

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16 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Lori needs to stop coloring her hair with whatever cheap-ass home color she's using. It's not the home color --  it's that the color is so cheap it's frying her hair, I suggest using one with a separate conditioner or an oil base. I think there's one called Olio?

She definitely needs a better diet with some fat and weekly deep-conditioning treatments to fix that dead dark brown straw that passes for hair. Conditioning shampoo wouldn't hurt either.

In photos just a few years ago Lori's hair looked so much better. She looked so much better. Her hair was healthy and styled. She wore make-up, and wasn't nearly as drawn, sallow and wrinkled as now.  Lori has smoker's wrinkles around her mouth. Since we absolutely know she never ever never ever, ever smoked I can only assume they are from continuously pursing her lips in disapproval about everyone and everything.  I know this because my MIL, who never ever smoked, has those wrinkles from continuously pursing her lips in disapproval about everyone and everything.

BEC -- Lori tells us we must look our best for our husbands. Wear make-up. Wear our hair long if they like it long. Ken likes long hair. I wouldn't call Lori's hair long. I wouldn't call how she looks in the "You Tubes" her best. Sooooo........ is this another case of Lori's 'do as I say, not as I do" hypocrisy?

Say it ain't so.  I'm shocked, shocked.  Shocked I am!!!!

I use cheap drugstore (well, Kroger, LOL) hair color. Clairol Natural Instincts in Dark Blonde. It's almost an exact match for my original hair color before the grey started creeping in (kind of grateful for the grey, because it turns into highlights when I color my hair, so it doesn't look one solid color like M'Lynn's 'brown football helmet!' 😆). It comes with a tube of deep conditioner that works well, but in between colorings I also use another deep conditioning treatment two or three times a week (can't recall the name, but it comes in a packet and I get six to eight treatments out of it), and I use a shampoo made for color treated hair. My hair is short, and I get it trimmed every six weeks or so, so any fried ends aren't around long enough to look bad. Drugstore color CAN work well if you follow directions and use the conditioner that comes with it. Lori, as we all know, however, just can't be arsed. And yeah, her diet is atrocious, regardless of how 'organic' and 'natural' it may be. 🙄 Makes me wonder what her nails look like--probably as brittle and broken as her hair. 

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Awhile back (a couple of years or so) she posted a photo of her nasty feet.

This was after Lori, with her non-existent medical degree, declared her mom 's cancer was caused by nail polish. Lori swore she would never again use it and posted the nasty feet photo. The feet were dirty; the nails were dirty, overgrown and broken.  Obviously to Lori not using nail polish also means no pedicures.

We all know about her using grilled cheese grease as hand lotion.

Edited by Red Hair, Black Dress
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On 11/2/2021 at 5:23 PM, louisa05 said:

Most of the commenters are on the working women can’t cook thing so takeout makes them and their families overweight. 
Since I work and therefore can’t cook, I’d really like to know who broke into my house while I was at school today and made the soup that’s in my crockpot. 

Ok. When you find out who broke into your house and made the soup; send them to my house so they can break in and clean and cook while I’m at work. Thanks. 🤣🤣🤣

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17 hours ago, feministxtian said:

That's the one I use when I can't afford a professional job. She needs to blow some $$ on shampoo/conditioner too. 

https://www.ulta.com/p/k-pak-color-therapy-color-protecting-shampoo-pimprod2018623

https://www.ulta.com/p/k-pak-color-therapy-conditioner-pimprod2016268

I use these products...even living in the desert they put enough moisture in my hair again that my curls came back. 

She needs a short do to give her hair start over.

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9 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

She needs a short do to give her hair start over.

I got about 10 inches chopped off right after...you know...I'd neglected myself for awhile. Now my hair is much healthier. I am in desperate need of a cut right now. Mani/Pedis are necessary for me. Fortunately, when the finances are tight, my DIL can do it. 

I mean, I consider myself low maintenance but man...Lori is NO maintenance. That ain't cool. Admittedly now, I've sorta let myself go but I know why...Spring is coming and time to be on point. 

Lori would have gotten along with the mother...

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