Jeremiah and Hannah: Finally Declared

[FleeJanaFree]

On 11/6/2021 at 8:25 PM, Smash! said:

Don’t forget Bethany Wissmann Beasley got married to a guy whose brother „accidentally“ shot his own wife. This tells you all about the standards Pa Wissmann has when it comes to potential suitors for his daughters.

Whaaaaat? Did she die?

[justmy2cents]

3 hours ago, Meggo said:

I kind of think JD & Abbie are serious outliers in this family. Not saying they haven't consumed a LOT of the koolaid. But how they started dating - without (seemingly) telling anyone

I’m not as optimistic. I always felt that it was just to have a different storyline for the show. He was with his parents when he expressed an interest in Abbie to JB. He didn’t start a relationship without input from his parents. And I think he spoke to her father before making his interest known to her. Not really different from the prior courtships.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, FleeJanaFree said:

Whaaaaat? Did she die?

Yes. He was messing around with a loaded gun and shot her. He was convicted but only served a short sentence. I think he remarried since he got out of prison. 

[SassyPants]

6 minutes ago, justmy2cents said:

I’m not as optimistic. I always felt that it was just to have a different storyline for the show. He was with his parents when he expressed an interest in Abbie to JB. He didn’t start a relationship without input from his parents. And I think he spoke to her father before making his interest known to her. Not really different from the prior courtships.

Since they’ve been married, I do get a different family (not spiritual) vibe from Abbie and John. They do seem to enjoy each other’s company and not in an overtly showy, gross JB manner. When asked if they wanted 19 kids, Abbie says something to the tune of that won’t be happening. They seem to enjoy doting on and parenting their one child, taking her on trips, shopping, pumpkin patch, berry picking, church…just like more mainstream parents. They aren’t pumping out kid after, particularly after someone else Jinger has a baby (Jessa) or curating a couple’s only life (Jinger) or continually foisting their child on GPs (Joy). They just seem more reasonable, and I’m sure being older (In terms of being Duggars) parents factors in. I would like to know how they support their family.

[patsymae]

On 11/6/2021 at 11:05 AM, BensAllergies said:

If abuse is really that rampant within their circles, perhaps there are fundie boys who are blacklisted from marrying a Duggar daughter. I can absolutely see JB at least doing that much for the oldest daughters who remember the assaults against them, even if he didn’t protect them from his own son. And of course he still needed his son married off right away because in their eyes, a wife would fix his proclivities. But what he allowed with Anna he wouldn’t do to his own daughters especially if they expressed their own opinion on the matter.

The younger girls might not have an opinion so maybe they have a higher chance of marrying within the cult. I guess we will start to see as Hannie and Jenny come of age. Goodness even Mack will be of courting age before we know it.

I hope you're right but I think don't see him blacklisting any perve from marrying any of his younger daughters. I don't for a minute believe he thinks what happened was assault, or even bad, or even distasteful. 

5 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

I’m not as optimistic. I always felt that it was just to have a different storyline for the show. He was with his parents when he expressed an interest in Abbie to JB. He didn’t start a relationship without input from his parents. And I think he spoke to her father before making his interest known to her. Not really different from the prior courtships.

They're the douches who showed up in the Bahamas and treated the people there in crisis like shit. He was flashing his tin badge and showing off his gun to local people, "commandeered" needed supplies, and she was perfectly happy to sit there stuffing her face with Chik Fil A in a hotel room while the Bahamian people and actual relief workers were sleeping outside in the mud. And whatever the fuck they did in Haiti for the few minutes before they were "called" to pull the same shit on hurricane victims in the US. They're worse than useless twats.

I can't remember now, but I got the impression that he is a pilot kind of on retainer for IBLP, ferrying those people around. So that would explain an income.

[JermajestyDuggar]

If there’s one belief I would love for the married Duggar children to drop, it would be the quiverful shit. I think many of their beliefs are extremely harmful. But this belief might be one of the most harmful because it forces so many to live in poverty and neglect their children in different ways. If JD and Abbie aren’t quiverful, it would make their lives much better. They wouldn’t be forced to neglect their children’s needs, they wouldn’t make their older kids parent the younger ones, they would have less safety issues because they would be better supervised, they would less likely to be stacked like cordwood into a tiny home, they wouldn’t have to grift as much in order to feed their kids, they would be able to devote more time to their children’s education, and more that I just can’t think of right now. Plus Abbie had HG with Grace. She would likely have to be laying down a lot and unable to tend to Grace as much when pregnant. 

[just_ordinary]

On 11/9/2021 at 1:51 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

If there’s one belief I would love for the married Duggar children to drop, it would be the quiverful shit. I think many of their beliefs are extremely harmful. But this belief might be one of the most harmful because it forces so many to live in poverty and neglect their children in different ways. If JD and Abbie aren’t quiverful, it would make their lives much better. They wouldn’t be forced to neglect their children’s needs, they wouldn’t make their older kids parent the younger ones, they would have less safety issues because they would be better supervised, they would less likely to be stacked like cordwood into a tiny home, they wouldn’t have to grift as much in order to feed their kids, they would be able to devote more time to their children’s education, and more that I just can’t think of right now. Plus Abbie had HG with Grace. She would likely have to be laying down a lot and unable to tend to Grace as much when pregnant. 

I don’t know. Qiverfull does not automatically mean 10+ children. Many have only 6-8. still a lot to me but over the course of 20 years definitely more manageable than Duggar style craziness. I would rather love to see them stop the abusive parenting techniques and find gentler approaches. Or stop hating on education, that would give more children the change to maybe find a way out of they want to.

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

I don’t know. Qiverfull does not automatically mean 10+ children. Many have only 6-8. still a lot to me but over the course of 20 years definitely more manageable than Duggar style craziness. I would rather love to see them stop the abusive parenting techniques and find gentler approaches. Or stop hating on education, that would give more children the change to maybe find a way out of they want to.

Disagree. The average family size in the US is 2-3 kids. That’s way better than 8. Way less children mean way less children to beat, abuse, neglect, starve, blanket train, etc. Way less children to then have families if their own to abuse and neglect.

[SweetLaurel]

On 11/8/2021 at 6:51 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

If there’s one belief I would love for the married Duggar children to drop, it would be the quiverful shit

If there is one thing I'd like to for them to drop it would be raising their daughters to know their only real option in life is to be a submissive wife with perpetualy spread legs for Jesus.     

Well, a few other things like beating their kids, not educating them, teaching them to judge others as unworthy and not Christian,  and that other people's bodies are there for them to control because God.  

[just_ordinary]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Disagree. The average family size in the US is 2-3 kids. That’s way better than 8. Way less children mean way less children to beat, abuse, neglect, starve, blanket train, etc. Way less children to then have families if their own to abuse and neglect.

True, but you can be a good parent to 8 children (even though that’s definitely stretching it in my opinion). But with their other believes they even make the life of just one child hell on earth. I would rather prefer those parents to treat their “gifts from god” better first. But in the end I strongly disagree with lots of pillars of their lifestyle, it’s hard to put them in a hierarchy because they all flow into each other and reinforce each other: for example more kids most definitely mean a stricter discipline to keep it all together. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I admit I’m a numbers person when it comes to fundies. The less fundies born into an abusive cult, the better. 

[SassyPants]

And no one can convince me that Kendra’s kids are getting as much time, stimulation and individual parental attention vs Bella or Gracie. There is not enough time in the busy day.

[JermajestyDuggar]

34 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

And no one can convince me that Kendra’s kids are getting as much time, stimulation and individual parental attention vs Bella or Gracie. There is not enough time in the busy day.

I agree and just imagine how little each new baby will get as she keeps having more and more. Grace looks like she gets lots of attention.

[AussieKrissy]

When is Kendra due to announce again? My uptheduff senses are tingling. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 11/8/2021 at 7:51 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

If there’s one belief I would love for the married Duggar children to drop, it would be the quiverful shit. I think many of their beliefs are extremely harmful. But this belief might be one of the most harmful because it forces so many to live in poverty and neglect their children in different ways. If JD and Abbie aren’t quiverful, it would make their lives much better. They wouldn’t be forced to neglect their children’s needs, they wouldn’t make their older kids parent the younger ones, they would have less safety issues because they would be better supervised, they would less likely to be stacked like cordwood into a tiny home, they wouldn’t have to grift as much in order to feed their kids, they would be able to devote more time to their children’s education, and more that I just can’t think of right now. Plus Abbie had HG with Grace. She would likely have to be laying down a lot and unable to tend to Grace as much when pregnant. 

I agree with you. I think quiverfull is extremely harmful. One reason cults love is to gain new members. It's also the ultimate busywork. Taking care of little kids, constantly supervising toddlers, changing diapers, homeschooling, etc. Guys like Bill Gothard, used quiverfull teachings to keep the parents too busy and tired out to consider their beliefs. 

I don't trust any religion that is anti birth-control, contraception, family planning, etc. 

[SorenaJ]

1 hour ago, AussieKrissy said:

When is Kendra due to announce again? My uptheduff senses are tingling. 

Around Christmas. 

[breakfree]

On 11/16/2021 at 9:51 PM, just_ordinary said:

True, but you can be a good parent to 8 children (even though that’s definitely stretching it in my opinion). But with their other believes they even make the life of just one child hell on earth. I would rather prefer those parents to treat their “gifts from god” better first. But in the end I strongly disagree with lots of pillars of their lifestyle, it’s hard to put them in a hierarchy because they all flow into each other and reinforce each other: for example more kids most definitely mean a stricter discipline to keep it all together. 

While I agree even one child can be too many for some people to have, for better or worse, at least in the west, I think it is at this point effectively impossible to be what almost all people would call a 'good' parent to more than 5 or at most 6 kids. You would need to both be rich (and I do mean truly SOLIDLY upper class) and have a vast support network of family and close friends available to you.  Both these things are flatly out of reach for most people now, especially those not part of a religious community, and religious communities where people are having that many kids on the regular are uncommon now and what many of us might call cults. That's to say nothing of things that would unquestionably be better to have but maybe not absolutely necessary in all cases, like gaps of at least 18 months between pregnancies as recommended by the World Health Organization (this alone would prevent most people who get married at an average age from having 8 kids), enough hours in the day for both parents to spend at least some substantial  time alone with each child, flexible leave policies at work for if kids get sick, it could go on.

A few generations ago when society was set up somewhat differently and more people were religious but not in cults or orthodox, a family of 8 kids could have been workable and people could have managed to be decent parents to that many kids (though by current unforgiving parenting standards I don't think many people today would be calling these people good parents either).

[SassyPants]

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I agree and just imagine how little each new baby will get as she keeps having more and more. Grace looks like she gets lots of attention.

And not that kids need fancy nurseries, but even kid 2 was stuck in an old pack and play in the corner of their guest bedroom. Wonder where #3 is housed? Now imagine #7-

[JermajestyDuggar]

When people have high order multiples, it seems like they always have a lot of help. But when people like JillRod have 4 kids in less than 3.5 years, they probably don’t get people jumping at the chance to help them. Yes I know quads are different from 4 kids born in less than 3.5 years. However I will say that in some ways it might be even harder if the pregnancies are difficult. Because you are pregnant for most of those years while taking care of babies and toddlers. 

[Queen Of Hearts]

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When people have high order multiples, it seems like they always have a lot of help. But when people like JillRod have 4 kids in less than 3.5 years, they probably don’t get people jumping at the chance to help them. Yes I know quads are different from 4 kids born in less than 3.5 years. However I will say that in some ways it might be even harder if the pregnancies are difficult. Because you are pregnant for most of those years while taking care of babies and toddlers. 

Not to mention that four kids at four different ages have different schedules, needs, etc.  With multiples you can at least hope they will nap at the relatively same time, eat at the same time (and same amounts/types of food), etc.  

[Skyline]

1 hour ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Not to mention that four kids at four different ages have different schedules, needs, etc.  With multiples you can at least hope they will nap at the relatively same time, eat at the same time (and same amounts/types of food), etc.  

True day. Honestly twins can be easier than two singletons very close together. A friend of mine had 3 in one year (twins and a singleton 11 months apart). THAT was hard!

My grand MIL had 6 in 5 years 🙀

Edited November 18, 2021 by Skyline
Clarification

[fluffernutter]

I had three in 7 years and thought I was gonna lose my mind. 🤣 We we’re moving around for my husband’s work a lot so that made it a lot harder. 

[OyToTheVey]

2 hours ago, Skyline said:

A friend of mine had 3 in one year (twins and a singleton 11 months apart). THAT was hard!

 

Bless her! How the hell did she survive that?

[Nothing if not critical]

6 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

Bless her! How the hell did she survive that?

I have a friend who had a singleton, and then triplets 15 months later (not planned). I asked her once how she had survived without going crazy and she answered "What makes you think I did?" 🤣

[OyToTheVey]

3 minutes ago, Nothing if not critical said:

I have a friend who had a singleton, and then triplets 15 months later (not planned). I asked her once how she had survived without going crazy and she answered "What makes you think I did?" 🤣

Oh boy, that sounds so difficult. 4 kids in 15 months sounds like a nightmare to me lol