Trace Bates 2: Dating A Poor Persecuted Refugee with A Purpose?

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It seems like everything from 20 years ago is back and I remember ankle bracelets being very popular 20 years ago. So it wouldn’t surprise me. 

This is true.

I went shopping yesterday, saw a cute t-shirt and impulse bought it. Brought it home and something was bugging me, then it hit me that I had the exact same shirt 20 years ago. Color, cut, material, everything. I even found a picture to prove it lol.

Edited May 14, 2022 by CanadianMamam

[irish_dancing_canadian]

4 hours ago, llucie said:

-German: they will love for their kids to learn it. Lydia says she has a vocabulary of a 10 year old in german since at that age it is when she left Germany. The parents still talk to them in german but they reply in english.

See if I were the parents, I would pretend to not understand the kids if they spoke back in English, then the kids would be really forced to speak it. But hopefully Lydia does speak it to her future children plus they can learn from the grandparents too. 

[FluffySnowball]

2 minutes ago, irish_dancing_canadian said:

See if I were the parents, I would pretend to not understand the kids if they spoke back in English, then the kids would be really forced to speak it. But hopefully Lydia does speak it to her future children plus they can learn from the grandparents too. 

For everyday life, pretending not to understand German is too artificial I think.

What matters is that the language plays a role aside from conversations with the parents. So there should be German books and magazines, movies and tv shows, friends... maybe there are German expat communities, etc. that they could have gotten in touch with. In NZ, where I used to live for a couple of years, it was easy to get a hold even of newspapers, let alone groups of German immigrants who often hung out together. Auckland even has a kindy only for German speaking littles. Sure, some of these aspects might to against Lydia's family's attempts to isolate the children...

Not sure how things are in Tennessee but I can't imagine it would be drastically different. 

[Oh_Dear!]

On 5/8/2022 at 9:28 AM, CanadianMamam said:

So Trace and Lydia are in Destin with her family on vacation before they head to California for the wedding.

 

Her brother was getting married on May 8. I’m guessing they were at that wedding first before they flew to Cali for Lawson’s. 

[CanadianMamam]

29 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

For everyday life, pretending not to understand German is too artificial I think.

What matters is that the language plays a role aside from conversations with the parents. So there should be German books and magazines, movies and tv shows, friends... maybe there are German expat communities, etc. that they could have gotten in touch with. In NZ, where I used to live for a couple of years, it was easy to get a hold even of newspapers, let alone groups of German immigrants who often hung out together. Auckland even has a kindy only for German speaking littles. Sure, some of these aspects might to against Lydia's family's attempts to isolate the children...

Not sure how things are in Tennessee but I can't imagine it would be drastically different. 

My ILs are immigrants and my husband grew up speaking their native language at home. My ILs didn't really start speaking English at home until the children were older and getting married. My husband still talks to his mother primarily in her native language. My husband also attended church in that language and went to a Saturday language school. According to him, he thinks in both languages. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

2 hours ago, irish_dancing_canadian said:

See if I were the parents, I would pretend to not understand the kids if they spoke back in English, then the kids would be really forced to speak it. But hopefully Lydia does speak it to her future children plus they can learn from the grandparents too. 

I had those ideas too before I had a child. Now, some days, I just feel happy if he answers at all, and with more than a yes /no (in any language!) 😆

Edited May 14, 2022 by Shouldabeenacowboy

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

With all the recent fundie/fundie-adjacent weddings there have been, I do wonder where Lydia will fit in. Obviously they all martyrize (hah irony) the Romeike's christian-persecution story, but amongst the smaller "cliques" of wives.

Whitney married in and was the only sis-in-law for such a long time that she's basically a sister to the "big girls", down to Carlin. The single boys got married in such quick succession that one could expect the 3 new DILs to group together, but Esther cliqued right into the MedicCorps Wives Club. I guess Tiffany could be headed that way though I can't see that being her vibe *at all* so we'll see - the newlyweds will be living at least a few hours away in Nashville. Traclydia could fit the "Zach and Whitney" mold to the younger sibs I suppose - Lydia being besties with Josie and probably close with the younger girls too, same with Trace and the middle/little boys. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Lydia seems very fashionable. I’m imagining a nice and somewhat trendy wedding. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

24 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Lydia seems very fashionable. I’m imagining a nice and somewhat trendy wedding. 

I agree! Which is what makes me think her youtube video of trying on wedding dresses was totally staged - sounds like Renee is designing her dress and I'm sure Lydia just played dressup at the shop, and they filmed/edited some footage. It's not like she hasn't tried on & modeled formal gowns before including wedding gowns, so she must have some idea. 

I predict classy indoor/outdoor wedding - they're outdoorsy, but Lydia also seems like she'd appreciate the practicality of indoors once that October sun sets. Gown with a fitted silhouette with some lace/bling - neither extreme of plain vs all-over detailing like in her dressup video haha. I could seeing them having the a bigger wedding party than the past 3 weddings.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 5/14/2022 at 5:26 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Lydia seems very fashionable. I’m imagining a nice and somewhat trendy wedding. 

Although on what budget?

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Although on what budget?

Since she has an actual job, I’m betting she can contribute some money. She has her own apartment so that’s a good sign. 

Edited May 16, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[Nothing if not critical]

Just came across this gem:

Spoiler

Idk, but that seems like such a weird comment to leave on a picture of your sister’s fiancé… (and to be clear, I’m not insinuating anything except maybe a certain tone-deafness). But hey, what do I know? Perhaps that’s just how the kids are talking these days…

Edited May 16, 2022 by Nothing if not critical

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

53 minutes ago, Nothing if not critical said:

Just came across this gem:

  Hide contents

Idk, but that seems like such a weird comment to leave on a picture of your sister’s fiancé… (and to be clear, I’m not insinuating anything except maybe a certain tone-deafness). But hey, what do I know? Perhaps that’s just how the kids are talking these days…

Christian is the brother that's a model, takes posts pics similar to this all the time, friends and family comment how good he looks, it's not weird. The Bates boys *think* they can do the same - Trace isn't as bad as Lawson but still pretty douchey - why is it weird unusual for a friend/family member/anyone in their circle, to comment the same? 

I am a woman. Not even "gen z" or whatever. If a female friend posts a pic they posed for because they know they looked good, I would 100% comment "heyyyyy sexy lady" or "hot mama" (or "damn girl, legs!" or "beautiful and booty-ful" if they look extra hot lmao). 

Really, toxic masculinity makes those comments "unacceptable" for men - but fundie men will take anything to stroke their ego, I suppose. 

[BeccaGrim]

I think Lydia will join the Josie, Carlin, Katie, Whitney group of 'fashion.'  Although Josie is obviously close to Tori because of their husband's relationships.  And Tori is 'besties' (as per her constantly saying that) with Erin who seemed VERY distant from her sisters in the pictures at the wedding, other than Tori.  And I've seen pictures of Josie at Erin's house. Plus, Tiffani is apparently super close with Carson. So I think the big schism is Erin-Whitney-Carlin, with whatever happened with the boutique.  

All this to say, I think Lydia will fit right in but not with Erin. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

56 minutes ago, ihaveanexamintwodays said:

Christian is the brother that's a model, takes posts pics similar to this all the time, friends and family comment how good he looks, it's not weird. The Bates boys *think* they can do the same - Trace isn't as bad as Lawson but still pretty douchey - why is it weird unusual for a friend/family member/anyone in their circle, to comment the same? 

I am a woman. Not even "gen z" or whatever. If a female friend posts a pic they posed for because they know they looked good, I would 100% comment "heyyyyy sexy lady" or "hot mama" (or "damn girl, legs!" or "beautiful and booty-ful" if they look extra hot lmao). 

Really, toxic masculinity makes those comments "unacceptable" for men - but fundie men will take anything to stroke their ego, I suppose. 

This is true of Gen z and I’m not a huge fan. I guess I just hate gratuitous comments on looks in general. When I was a teenager, I was very insecure. Social media would have made me crazy. If you post a picture that is good of you and you don’t get a bunch of comments that you are fire or hot or whatever, does that just kill your self esteem?  

[GracieLou Free Duggar]

On 5/14/2022 at 9:05 AM, irish_dancing_canadian said:

See if I were the parents, I would pretend to not understand the kids if they spoke back in English, then the kids would be really forced to speak it. But hopefully Lydia does speak it to her future children plus they can learn from the grandparents too. 

So I'm the daughter of someone who came to the US. My mom didn't like the language spoken around her, because she felt like they might have been talking about her. Then when the divorce happened, my mom was really not into it being spoken in our home. I understand most of what was said, but I don't have any confidence in speaking.

[CaptainFunderpants]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is true of Gen z and I’m not a huge fan. I guess I just hate gratuitous comments on looks in general. When I was a teenager, I was very insecure. Social media would have made me crazy. If you post a picture that is good of you and you don’t get a bunch of comments that you are fire or hot or whatever, does that just kill your self esteem?  

I'm fine with comments and fawning in person (I try to be a person that compliments often, be it friends or strangers), but I'm not a big social media person, and as such when I post the occasional thing, it rarely gets likes and comments just because I'm not there to reciprocate all the time, and... I know it shouldn't bug me, but it does, and so I largely just don't post anything any more.

Quit Facebook 10 years ago and while I probably am on some level missing out and have missed out on some quality friendships, I've no doubt also been spared from way too much drama and many, many hurt feelings.

Honestly adults that are constantly on facebook/instagram/snapchat/tiktok confuse and worry me a bit. I understand the hobby communities of IG/Facebook/TikTok, but even that... When you look at the frequency and what gets posted, people posting their entire lives online... How is that healthy? I craft all the time, but I send a pic of what I'm working on to our family group chat and call it a day, lol.

[AussieKrissy]

5 hours ago, Nothing if not critical said:

Just came across this gem:

  Hide contents

Idk, but that seems like such a weird comment to leave on a picture of your sister’s fiancé… (and to be clear, I’m not insinuating anything except maybe a certain tone-deafness). But hey, what do I know? Perhaps that’s just how the kids are talking these days…

I though it was weird too 

Unless he is mocking him because he is being a try hard, a context I would understand and that would be quite prevalent on an Aussie guys social media if he posted a try hard pic like this  

[Nothing if not critical]

8 hours ago, ihaveanexamintwodays said:

why is it weird unusual for a friend/family member/anyone in their circle, to comment the same? 

I didn’t mean that it was weird to comment on his looks - it was just the “stud” wording that seemed off to me (unless it was meant to be teasing, as @AussieKrissy suggested). If he’d written something like „Looking good!“ or „Stunning couple“, I wouldn’t have batted an eye.

But hey, maybe it’s because I’m not American and „stud“ sounds far more suggestive to me than it really is? It’s not always easy to judge in a language not your own…

And I’m definitely too old for this, too, I guess, because I would personally never comment on the hotness or sexiness of a friend or family member. „You look gorgeous!“ - yes. „Smoking hot!“ - no. YMMV.

Edited May 17, 2022 by Nothing if not critical

[arareyeah]

Leaving nice comments about someone's look on their post is of course, very common. But reposting it on your IG story for such comment is rather odd if the person is not a celebrity. I've seen my guy friends reposting celebs or someone they thought having an amazing style with comments like "inspo" or "looking sick AF". But a friend or family member and calling them a stud? Definitely no.

Maybe because English is my second language, I'll feel icky saying someone I'm related to in any which way as a "stud". My husband? Yes. Chris Hemsworth? Yes. My BIL? Even objectively he *is* a stud, saying it makes me want to barf.

[CanadianMamam]

11 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

I think Lydia will join the Josie, Carlin, Katie, Whitney group of 'fashion.'  Although Josie is obviously close to Tori because of their husband's relationships.  And Tori is 'besties' (as per her constantly saying that) with Erin who seemed VERY distant from her sisters in the pictures at the wedding, other than Tori.  And I've seen pictures of Josie at Erin's house. Plus, Tiffani is apparently super close with Carson. So I think the big schism is Erin-Whitney-Carlin, with whatever happened with the boutique.  

All this to say, I think Lydia will fit right in but not with Erin. 

Trace and Chad are super close. Lydia and Trace have done date nights with Chad and Erin and hung out at their house. Lydia took a ton of pictures of Finley.

Edited May 17, 2022 by CanadianMamam

[JermajestyDuggar]

I just hate when people call their baby “stud.” It seems weird. I called my boys handsome and beautiful but never stud. That just seems like a word to describe adults. 

[fluffernutter]

Ugh he looks like such a pompous douche. He looks like he could give Lawson a run for his money in the smug department. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I am raising two white boys in America. I will make damn sure I don’t raise my boys to be entitled little man boys who think they are gods gift to women. No way. My husband isn’t like that so I’m hoping he will rub off on them. I think being a d list fundie male means you’ll probably end up a cocky entitled attention whore like so many of the bates boys. 

[Dbm]

Her dress is doing her a disservice, and it looks like a nightdress.

 

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