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Jana Duggar 13: I Don't Think She Will :(


nelliebelle1197

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My point about pointing out that these girls do have skills is not to say they should move out, or want to move out. It is to point out that many women have started their lives like these girls. Drop out from High School, no degree, kids in quick succession and yet, somehow these women - like mineself without the kids - have managed to find jobs to suit their skill range initially to get of the street and into housing (my go to job were in the tourism industry where one would get housed, fed, and paid! - best way to safe money) of their own, and then if they want to community college etc. 

We assume that they are locked down, or are too entitled too, but are they? I doubt. I believe that pretty much all of them have emotional issues, neglect comes to mind - cause Of'JB did neglect her kids. You don't hand a new born over to a sister mom after six month of breast feeding and continue to bond with that child in a healthy manner. They may need to learn how to learn and study. Jill is doing that via Derrick and her boys. ETC. 

But all of them, inclusive Jana and Anna, can work, have skills they can monetize, but unless they leave fear of being shunned (that in my books is what keeps these guys firmly in the midst of that cult), fear of being alone (leaving the convent was extremely hard on me, and now some 40 odd years later i still miss the 'community' there) behind and find some guts and courage they are  now keeping themselves in a prison of their own making. 

Lastly, Jana obviously decided not to marry under her expectations, and thus she also made a conscious decision to not have children, she could have gotten herself married just to get out of the house like her sisters but she 'choose' not too. That to me shows she has some guts, as clearly JB and Of'Jb in the end want all of their daughters to be married, and she did defy them. We honestly have no idea what dear Jana wants in her life, we have no idea whom she truly desires, but i have respect for someone who is not marrying anyone / someone just to get a mealticket and a key to a door of her own. 

Run Jana, run. Because dear Jana, you can live a good life, a godly life, a healthy life on your own. So run girl. Let your hair down, put them records on and fly. 

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2 hours ago, Sabine said:

My point about pointing out that these girls do have skills is not to say they should move out, or want to move out. It is to point out that many women have started their lives like these girls. Drop out from High School, no degree, kids in quick succession and yet, somehow these women - like mineself without the kids - have managed to find jobs to suit their skill range initially to get of the street and into housing (my go to job were in the tourism industry where one would get housed, fed, and paid! - best way to safe money) of their own, and then if they want to community college etc. 

We assume that they are locked down, or are too entitled too, but are they? I doubt. I believe that pretty much all of them have emotional issues, neglect comes to mind - cause Of'JB did neglect her kids. You don't hand a new born over to a sister mom after six month of breast feeding and continue to bond with that child in a healthy manner. They may need to learn how to learn and study. Jill is doing that via Derrick and her boys. ETC. 

But all of them, inclusive Jana and Anna, can work, have skills they can monetize, but unless they leave fear of being shunned (that in my books is what keeps these guys firmly in the midst of that cult), fear of being alone (leaving the convent was extremely hard on me, and now some 40 odd years later i still miss the 'community' there) behind and find some guts and courage they are  now keeping themselves in a prison of their own making. 

Lastly, Jana obviously decided not to marry under her expectations, and thus she also made a conscious decision to not have children, she could have gotten herself married just to get out of the house like her sisters but she 'choose' not too. That to me shows she has some guts, as clearly JB and Of'Jb in the end want all of their daughters to be married, and she did defy them. We honestly have no idea what dear Jana wants in her life, we have no idea whom she truly desires, but i have respect for someone who is not marrying anyone / someone just to get a mealticket and a key to a door of her own. 

Run Jana, run. Because dear Jana, you can live a good life, a godly life, a healthy life on your own. So run girl. Let your hair down, put them records on and fly. 

Despite all the comments I have made about Jana’s lack of doing anything productive,  I do think I’d rather have Jana’s life vs Kendra’s, broodmare existence.

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Jana has shown she has skills in home renovations and gardening ( I am discounting the ‘concert pianist’ bit) but these appear to be used as little more than hobbies or favours for family. I doubt she has any trade qualifications. Her lifestyle seems to be supported by JB in lieu of proper payment for the work she did in appearing in the show and endorsing the family brand.
Now the show is no more one might expect she would want to turn to something to give her a living - but she would need to set up a business, have insurance, market it and have regular work to make it viable. That might mean fewer trips with her friends and less time posing with cups of coffee.

None of her sisters work outside the home so Jana may conclude why should she, given the amount of work she’s done for the family over the years.

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@Idlewild I would also be very surprised if she had trade qualifications. In saying that, I do think she could get some if she ended up wanting/needing to and it would likely be her preferred income method.

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I still sometimes wonder if Jana not moving out is about protecting her young siblings from all the bad shit she and the other older daughters had to go through. Be it deliberate or instinctual.

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3 hours ago, Someone Out There said:

@Idlewild I would also be very surprised if she had trade qualifications. In saying that, I do think she could get some if she ended up wanting/needing to and it would likely be her preferred income method.

She’s gone to the Atlanta Mart, Las Vegas Mart, and (I think) the Houston Mart before. Usually only people with some type of buyer, designer, decorator, seller, etc. credentials can go there and buy things wholesale. I’ve walked through one of the Marts before when I had time to kill in between appointments in the city, but didn’t try to buy anything (and most of the vendors were closed that day…it was pretty boring), so maybe it’s easy to get credentials, I don’t know. Her being at the Vegas Mart this summer makes me think it’s possible she’s considering opening a store.

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I find the “what gives Jana a fulfilling adult life without a job OR a relationship” conversation interesting and a bit baffling. I’m not much older than Jana (33) and have many of the same interests. I sew my own clothes and stuff for the kids and quilts and gifts for friends’ babies, but have zero interest in turning that from a hobby into a business or making lots of the SAME thing. I enjoy DIY stuff to improve the space I’m living in and would love to do minor house-flipping renovations, but definitely don’t want a job in construction. I like to potter around in the garden and try to grow edible stuff (not as successfully as Jana), I enjoy cooking and especially baking, not necessarily from a recipe. I like artistic stuff, making Pinterest-worthy birthday cakes for my kids but not more than a few times a year. I am a self-taught piano player who can tinker around on the keys enough to accompany songs at church but would be hopeless in turning that into anything more useful. Sometimes I write songs just for me. The point is, I ENJOY all these things, they’re not just filling time while I wait around for something better, and the creative outlets give me a sense of achievement and energy and fulfilment, despite not monetising them. I have kids (no marriage anymore) and I love them to bits but I don’t need them for a sense of purpose. If I could have someone else financially support me I would have no desire for either work OR a marriage. I work because I have to, not because it brings me more satisfaction or intrinsic sense of value than all those hobbies.

Jana strikes me as someone with a decent dose of creativity but no one single artistic outlet, so she’s “above average” in several areas but not amazing in any of them. The arts version of a “Jack of all trades, master of none”. I do think it brings her day to day happiness.

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@Smee I would agree which is why I put the "wanting/needing" there.  Wanting if there is the desire there then I think she would have the capabilities to get qualifications.  Needing for if something occurs to her parents such that she actually needs to go out and work.  It is something that I think she could make a decent living from if she wanted, and she seems to be into more physical things (as opposed to an office job).

Personally I think my ideal would be to work part time somewhere, mostly for more social interaction than more "fulfillment".  I like to say "I work to live, not live to work".  I'm sure I could come up with other things to provide the required social interaction if I really wanted though.

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8 hours ago, Idlewild said:

Jana has shown she has skills in home renovations and gardening ( I am discounting the ‘concert pianist’ bit) but these appear to be used as little more than hobbies or favours for family. I doubt she has any trade qualifications. Her lifestyle seems to be supported by JB in lieu of proper payment for the work she did in appearing in the show and endorsing the family brand.
Now the show is no more one might expect she would want to turn to something to give her a living - but she would need to set up a business, have insurance, market it and have regular work to make it viable. That might mean fewer trips with her friends and less time posing with cups of coffee.

None of her sisters work outside the home so Jana may conclude why should she, given the amount of work she’s done for the family over the years.

True. And boy, what another poor reflection on JB’s (headship) ways and decisions. Kids are forced to adult and adults end up being burnt out to the point of remaining dependent  kids as adults. 

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6 hours ago, finnlassie said:

I still sometimes wonder if Jana not moving out is about protecting her young siblings from all the bad shit she and the other older daughters had to go through. Be it deliberate or instinctual.

This narrative needs to end. We have zero proof that Jana is anything less than supportive of her parent's beliefs. If anything, we have more proof that Jana is in full support of it and has drank the kool-aid herself. Jana lives at home because that's their beliefs, not because she's trying to protect her younger siblings that she has raised - which includes beating them. Sorry, spanking them. 

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But see there’s the BIG IF, “ if I could find someone to financially provide for me”… Jana is being supported, and more importantly controlled by her dad. In 2021 is that healthy?   
 
Sure traveling all over, sleeping in every day and living on Duggar time could be attractive to some, but is it healthy and a realistic life for a 31 YO? It really just shows how sheltered these folks are-

Serious question. If Jana wanted to attend the Bible College with the Maxwell girls, would JB agree and pay for it? Yes or no? If she wanted to move out like the twin boys did, would JB agree and buy her a home? Yes or no.

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30 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

But see there’s the BIG IF, “ if I could find someone to financially provide for me”… Jana is being supported, and more importantly controlled by her dad. In 2021 is that healthy?   
 
Sure traveling all over, sleeping in every day and living on Duggar time could be attractive to some, but is it healthy and a realistic life for a 31 YO? It really just shows how sheltered these folks are-

Serious question. If Jana wanted to attend the Bible College with the Maxwell girls, would JB agree and pay for it? Yes or no? If she wanted to move out like the twin boys did, would JB agree and buy her a home? Yes or no.

My guess would be no on both counts.  JB wouldn't pay for either because Jana is a female and he wants to continue to exert control over his children.  It would be harder to control someone who is attending college or even just living on their own two miles down the road.  Even the adult children who look like they have jobs appear to be at least partially funded by JB.  I think that the female siblings receive less support than the male siblings once they're married and this is one reason that you see them pushing their You Tube and Instagram hustles.  Also, they're just more popular with the general public than the male siblings.  I am surprised that JB hasn't completely pushed Jana into marriage yet.  Being single at her age in their religion is unusual and he's still having to completely support her.

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19 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Despite all the comments I have made about Jana’s lack of doing anything productive,  I do think I’d rather have Jana’s life vs Kendra’s, broodmare existence.

This. Hundreds of thousands of times this. 

Even worse, i truly believe that the boys are all in competition to some extend with Daddy, and that is one way of showing Daddy. 

 

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35 minutes ago, Sabine said:

This. Hundreds of thousands of times this. 

Even worse, i truly believe that the boys are all in competition to some extend with Daddy, and that is one way of showing Daddy. 

 

I think it’s more that Daddy is in competition with his boys (same for Gil Bates) in a really unhealthy and strange way. 
The boys might very well be in a competition with each other though. Who is Daddy’s golden boy? But with their family dynamic I think that’s true for all siblings. And we see that for some boys, that they are fixing their need for attention with their in laws (Josaiha and Justin) or that they seem to have grown out of it (JD).

It will be very interesting to see that, now there seems to be a rift between the Caldwell’s and the Duggars, if Joe and Kendra will start to make more decisions that seem emulate her family’s lifestyle instead of his. I wouldn’t be surprised if her baby train suddenly slows down considerably. But also I wouldn’t be surprised to get an announcement soon.

At this point it seems Josh, Joe and Jed (is he ex-politics Duggar boy?) are the married ones that fight for the No.1 spot.

The son in laws have definitely not joined the competition. Derrick, Jeremy and Austin life out their own ideas and Ben and Jessa seem to do their own thing but also get along with everyone just fine.

I find Kendra hard to read. Her personality makes it easy to believe she is really into the life she is living, even if it is stressful atm. If that’s truly what makes her happy I would much rather swap with her than Jana, who seems pretty holier than you, entitled and slightly bitter (to me). Kendra at least has the chance of influencing her headship and Joe seems like a partner that might listen. Jana has literally to wait till her parents die. And she seems to be totally fine with staying under her fathers thumb till this happens or she gets married to a new headship. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t want to swap with either. Both of their life’s would make me seriously depressed. 

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32 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

I think it’s more that Daddy is in competition with his boys (same for Gil Bates) in a really unhealthy and strange way. 
The boys might very well be in a competition with each other though. Who is Daddy’s golden boy? But with their family dynamic I think that’s true for all siblings. And we see that for some boys, that they are fixing their need for attention with their in laws (Josaiha and Justin) or that they seem to have grown out of it (JD).

It will be very interesting to see that, now there seems to be a rift between the Caldwell’s and the Duggars, if Joe and Kendra will start to make more decisions that seem emulate her family’s lifestyle instead of his. I wouldn’t be surprised if her baby train suddenly slows down considerably. But also I wouldn’t be surprised to get an announcement soon.

At this point it seems Josh, Joe and Jed (is he ex-politics Duggar boy?) are the married ones that fight for the No.1 spot.

The son in laws have definitely not joined the competition. Derrick, Jeremy and Austin life out their own ideas and Ben and Jessa seem to do their own thing but also get along with everyone just fine.

I find Kendra hard to read. Her personality makes it easy to believe she is really into the life she is living, even if it is stressful atm. If that’s truly what makes her happy I would much rather swap with her than Jana, who seems pretty holier than you, entitled and slightly bitter (to me). Kendra at least has the chance of influencing her headship and Joe seems like a partner that might listen. Jana has literally to wait till her parents die. And she seems to be totally fine with staying under her fathers thumb till this happens or she gets married to a new headship. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t want to swap with either. Both of their life’s would make me seriously depressed. 

Jana is an adult, and there is no law that she would break if she told her parents to shove it and leave. 

Kendra however is young, very young and has three kids and chances are is on her way to her fourth, below 25. In saying that Kendra can also leave and do her thing - with or without Joe, but would find much harder then Jana i would venture. 

I wonder what Jb and Of'Jb did in order to break Jana. She would have been the first one trained into being a  submissive, silent, obedient little helpmate herself in order to train 'her' children err siblings. But all could leave, all could write a tell all book, they would break no laws, all can earn money and learn and get degrees, many people have done so, and JB and Of'JB could not do a single thing.  And yes, both of their lifes are depressingly ordered and set in stone, heck we had more freedom in the convent. Helpmeets. All of them. 

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7 hours ago, viii said:

This narrative needs to end. We have zero proof that Jana is anything less than supportive of her parent's beliefs. If anything, we have more proof that Jana is in full support of it and has drank the kool-aid herself. Jana lives at home because that's their beliefs, not because she's trying to protect her younger siblings that she has raised - which includes beating them. Sorry, spanking them. 

Yeeeeeeah you got a point. I guess I'm projecting my own over protectiveness of kids having to go through a lot of shit. And I haven't been that attentive to Duggardom in the past year or two, either, apart from Jill.

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10 hours ago, SassyPants said:

But see there’s the BIG IF, “ if I could find someone to financially provide for me”… Jana is being supported, and more importantly controlled by her dad. In 2021 is that healthy?   
 
Sure traveling all over, sleeping in every day and living on Duggar time could be attractive to some, but is it healthy and a realistic life for a 31 YO? It really just shows how sheltered these folks are-

Serious question. If Jana wanted to attend the Bible College with the Maxwell girls, would JB agree and pay for it? Yes or no? If she wanted to move out like the twin boys did, would JB agree and buy her a home? Yes or no.

No to both, BUT I think a few months ago a lot of us would also have said no to Steve agreeing to those things too!

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On 10/4/2021 at 11:36 AM, AussieKrissy said:

Her twin is a pilot maybe they could team up and he could fly her to her concerts. 

Wait wait wait...he's a pilot???  Wow!  I wonder if any other Duggar brothers are pilots?

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5 minutes ago, HereComesTreble said:

Wait wait wait...he's a pilot???  Wow!  I wonder if any other Duggar brothers are pilots?

I dunno they kinda keep that kind of thing hush hush

 

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2 hours ago, HereComesTreble said:

Wait wait wait...he's a pilot???  Wow!  I wonder if any other Duggar brothers are pilots?

I’m telling ya it’s all a rumor cooked up by some troll!

My money’s on this guy:

E121D64B-3A4F-4690-BC10-D549009D8152.jpeg.bee8685bd54565650939d42c91e8c850.jpeg

(Look at that face… That is a face of guilt!)

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Possible reasons Jana won’t leave- she’s comfortable where she is. She buys into Gothardism and doesn’t want what we consider ’freedom’ -remember the pencilling in skirts on strangers in her photos- she may be more hard core than any of her siblings; if she left and wrote a tell all, her relationship with her siblings and parents would be forever ruined. JB would likely ban her from the big house so she wouldn’t see the younger ones and I can see some of the siblings rejecting her too- especially those that are financially beholden to JB.  Yes, she has Laura, but for so,some who has grown up in such a large family who were her school mates, church congregation etc, that has got to be impossible to contemplate.

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9 hours ago, HereComesTreble said:

Wait wait wait...he's a pilot???  

Guys, this is only speculation at this point.

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Jana has stated that she really would like to marry so I don't think she's staying because of her siblings or because she prefers her single life.  However, she does seem to be more choosy than her sisters and has more autonomy by virtue of being a default parent.  That's hard to give up once you have it, so that is likely a big part of the reason she hasn't married yet.  Marrying will also significantly change the nature of her friendship with Laura.

I do wonder what her status with Stephen Wissman is.  She doesn't have many good options left. 

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Possible she doesn't feel she can say I don't want to be married. Even secular girls sometimes have a hard time saying that. The ability to imagine there's a different life that is just as good as hard

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