Maxwell 50: Maxhell Has Frozen Over. Anna and Mary Are Off to College and Sarah Moves Out!

[Captain Obvious]

Through all of this, I can't help but be sad for Sarah.

The only one left in the house with her ageing parents while her sisters are away, and facing the theoretical possibility that even if her sisters do return when they've completed their studies, they finally be able to find husbands - more likely in WV or its surrounds and then will be almost permanently out of her life, after having experiences she never got to have and won't ever have. 

She's probably already stepped in to the role of helping her brothers' families while the girls are away, which I got the impression she wasn't that keen on doing since A & M appeared to do it more often than she did. 

So she's got minimal marriage prospects, her dog breeding dream failed, not sure if she's writing any more books, no Colorado trips to look forward to and also the concussion issue to boot. Just her, her parents, the same kids, and the car.

Her sisters will probably miss her 40th birthday next January too because they'll be on campus. Way to make that milestone even more depressing for her. 

[sleepygirl1]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Nike!!! But in all seriousness good for them.

[freejugar]

4 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

Through all of this, I can't help but be sad for Sarah.

The only one left in the house with her ageing parents while her sisters are away, and facing the theoretical possibility that even if her sisters do return when they've completed their studies, they finally be able to find husbands - more likely in WV or its surrounds and then will be almost permanently out of her life, after having experiences she never got to have and won't ever have. 

She's probably already stepped in to the role of helping her brothers' families while the girls are away, which I got the impression she wasn't that keen on doing since A & M appeared to do it more often than she did. 

So she's got minimal marriage prospects, her dog breeding dream failed, not sure if she's writing any more books, no Colorado trips to look forward to and also the concussion issue to boot. Just her, her parents, the same kids, and the car.

Her sisters will probably miss her 40th birthday next January too because they'll be on campus. Way to make that milestone even more depressing for her. 

Nathan and Cris should raise their own children. They took advantage of the sisters' free labour. Anna and Mary spent so much time with the littles and they will miss them.

I think Sarah's books are still going on, on the last book release she said there'd be more to come. I do agree she doesn't seem to enjoy babysitting.

[postscript]

50 minutes ago, gracegrace said:

I honestly don’t care why they are there. This may sound weird, because I work in higher ed myself and I’m all too aware of the intellectual weaknesses of bible colleges. But for these two, what matter most is that they get out. They’ve done something brave, no matter why they did it.

Meet other people. Do something besides answering tech support calls for Nathan and spreading mulch. Hang out with people who’ve watched PG rated movies and read books with talking animals and disobedient kids. 

Agree x1000. Any education, no matter how limited, can only be good for them. It may still be a small bubble and a limited worldview, but it will give them some exposure to activities and ideas outside their even tinier family bubble. 

Even if there isn’t a big potential husband pool at the college, their classmates will have brothers and friends of an appropriate age and background. 

At first I wasn’t sure those were really shorts in the picture. Zooming in, I think they are. I also came to the conclusion that even if it were a skirt, the length is still scandalous. Knees and thighs, oh my! 

[Melissa1977]

I know a picture means nothing, but Mary's non-verbal language amazes me. She looks relaxed and comfortable, with open legs, what makes me think she is very used to wear shorts. Her smile looks natural and sincere and her body is not rigid. I wonder if she was as isolated as we think, or she had a "real" life that never reached the blog. 

[Bethy]

25 minutes ago, postscript said:

At first I wasn’t sure those were really shorts in the picture. Zooming in, I think they are. I also came to the conclusion that even if it were a skirt, the length is still scandalous. Knees and thighs, oh my! 

If it were a skirt, I can almost guarantee she would be sitting with her knees together. It may be a skort so it could look like a skirt but shorts are attached.

18 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

I know a picture means nothing, but Mary's non-verbal language amazes me. She looks relaxed and comfortable, with open legs, what makes me think she is very used to wear shorts. Her smile looks natural and sincere and her body is not rigid. I wonder if she was as isolated as we think, or she had a "real" life that never reached the blog. 

I thought the exact same thing but couldn't figure out how to word it. You don't go from ankle-length skirts since infancy (loosened to mid-calf for the past few years) to shorts and a comfortable, casual posture in a single day. Either way I'm glad to see them settling in and looking happy. Remember the difference in body language between Nathan and Christopher's kids at the gift-opening after Jesse and Anna's wedding? How Nathan's kids were engaged and open with kids around them, while Christopher's kids were sitting prim and stiff on their respective stools? I'm glad to see Anna and Mary are in the middle of things and not off to the side looking like they feel guilty for existing.

[Austrian Atheist]

Wow 4 days without Freejinger and such a sensational thing is happening? I'm shocked and beyond words. And happy for them. First brothers moving away, then Sarah's bright red car, grandkids and daughters in law in pants and now this!? Are we sure that Steve is still alive? (I mean they didn't acknowledge the deaths of their grandparents on the blog...)

[browngrl]

Good for them! 

I read the parts of their college handbook that someone on reddit posted and it is a pretty conservative fundie school but still - it is a chance for something more than being at home. Maybe they will take this opportunity and run with it - maybe it will make them appreciate home more. Either way is a win. 

I hope that Sarah is happy at home. I am suspicious that she might be. Perhaps she is more of the introspective sort and  enjoys being at home doing her own thing. Steve and Teri don't need much (if any) care at present and Sarah has her dog and her job and now a whole room to herself. So maybe she is ok with her life situation too. 

[thoughtful]

12 hours ago, anjulibai said:

All these pigs flying overhead are scaring the crap out of me!!!

I kid you not, my mother just told me that she heard a thud this morning, as if something hit our house or roof. Maybe it was a flying pig.

I want to know if this college has a course in cutting lettuce with a pizza cutter, and if Anna and Mary tested out of it.

[church_of_dog]

34 minutes ago, postscript said:

At first I wasn’t sure those were really shorts in the picture. Zooming in, I think they are. I also came to the conclusion that even if it were a skirt, the length is still scandalous. Knees and thighs, oh my! 

My impression is that she is wearing shorts because she was participating in the rope pull herself (on the ladies' team of course).

[Bethy]

5 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

My impression is that she is wearing shorts because she was participating in the rope pull herself (on the ladies' team of course).

There's a whole ropes course associated with the college. It's not the sort of activities that can be done in a skirt. I could see Mary and Anna being interested in part of that program, since they seem to like outdoors/hiking types of activities and all the pushups and fake crossfit workouts they've done through the years would probably put them in good shape to participate.

[usmcmom]

In reading the handbook, it seems the rules are similar yet a bit more strict than the university I attended. Our dress code was a little more relaxed and, while we had curfew, there were no lights out or silent hours. I think Anna and Mary will do well with these rules and it will actually seem like more freedom to them than they had at home. 
 

I always wonder about Sarah when something big happens to the younger kids. She practically raised them, so it must be an extra layer of emotion to see them leave home. I feel so bad for her if she is left at that house, unable to pursue a life of her own. 

[Caroline]

I also agree that this form of higher education is better than the two women staying at home like their poor older sister.  I think Sarah is just too afraid to move on now, but the two younger ones have a shot at something bigger.

My own daughter attended a super liberal women's college and immediately afterwards completed a master's degree at a city university. My daughter is younger than the youngest Maxwell daughter, but we are not Steve and Terri.  There is absolutely no comparison between her higher education (or my own, for that matter) and what these young women are being offered, but it's something and probably the only option within their comfort zone.  I read the handbook for this place, and for me it might as well be on another planet - Planet 1950.  No dancing and no modern music, and no, no, no.  But this is what they know so I guess it works for them.

It's just hard to imagine being 25 and older and putting up with these crazy rules, but, again, it's what they know. I read the few reviews of this place on StudentsReview, and all implied that the place is out of touch with the rest of society.  One even said that students 'endure the rules rather than embrace them'.  I think Mary and her sister will likely embrace the rules.   I think Mary and her sister would have been good nuns if they were Catholic.

 

[fundiewatch]

Terri’s birthday greeting for Mary is interesting to muse on now. It wishes her a happy birthday and a year of loving and serving Jesus. Isn’t from Steve/Sarah. We will never know, but I wonder how seismic the conversation was when this all first was broached. How much cloaked in Jesus speak/their calling, and how much was just rebellion. 

[MamaJunebug]

Firstborn sister of sisters here and Sarah will always have a spot in what’s left of my warm heart. 
 

Do we know that she has a job outside the Maxiverse?  If so, I’m so stoked for her. She has always impressed me as a born boss, if not leader.

It’s not beyond the pale to think of her interacting quite positively with men in her general age group.  Marriage or even dating? At this point, who cares? 
 

Just to be able to talk and work and visit with adult people who aren’t surnamed Maxwell must seem like a whole new lease on life. 
 

They  are so cagey about actually sharing actual news about the family.  This new season (blech!) might have been in effect far longer than we know!

Sa-RAH! …. I hope.  

[Queen Of Hearts]

One thing is obvious.  A lot more goes on in Maxhell than we are led to believe. At this point I think we would be wise to not assume anything we previously believed about their life is accurate.

What irritates me is that Steve could easily come out and say that things have changed/evolved and give the reasons why.  That is pretty much normal for all families.  No one would look down on him and he could actually help guide other like-minded families on how to embrace these changing times while still having a Christian focus.  Instead they try to hide the truth. It is just so unnecessary and makes him look hypocritical.  

 

[fundiewatch]

I hope that Sarah is truly content and happy with her car and her dog. It could absolutely be that she feels like she’s raised her kids, and is content with her current roles. It breaks my heart if she feels differently. Sarah is a VERY compliant woman by nature I think. Old blog entries, prior to her taking them over, would say things like she “readily accepted” the new modesty standards (frumpers), she was the right hand woman with conferences, she really had an overseeing role and then later the sisters were more best friends (and roommates). She attended morning and evening Bible well into her late 30’s though we will never be told when it actually ended. Basically, she was all in and now the rules have changed completely and I hope she’s not bitter. Or if she is, and I would be, that she is allowed to feel it. 
 

As far as the brothers, I don’t think they have needed much help aside from during cancer times. The weekly aunties playtime always struck me as deeply symbiotic.

[Bethy]

I'm wondering if Anna's 2011 "Why I'm Not Going To College" post will stick around or if it'll just melt away from the blog the way Chris and Joe's failed engagements did?

[Black Aliss]

10 hours ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

Good for them! I wonder how this came about? I find it interesting that there's nothing about it on the Maxwells' blog.

The problem with creating an internet brand is that you are trapped when something happens to you that is off-brand. (See Also: Dooce)

It's especially interesting that Anna and Mary apparently started college last year, or even earlier* but I assume,  the campus going online-classes-only on account of the pandemic, they were able to hide it for a long time. We may only get a glimpse of their anything-but-random life when Anna and Mary come back to the Fathership for a visit.

Given the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth that  ensued when Nathan moved out of his bunk bed and across the street,  when Anna and Mary left, Teri and Sarah may have taken to bed, smelling salts in hand and that's why there are no blog updates.

 

*this was mentioned in the previous thread, something about them taking classes online and even making the dean's list.

[fundiefan]

32 minutes ago, Caroline said:

I also agree that this form of higher education is better than the two women staying at home like their poor older sister.  I think Sarah is just too afraid to move on now, but the two younger ones have a shot at something bigger.

My own daughter attended a super liberal women's college and immediately afterwards completed a master's degree at a city university. My daughter is younger than the youngest Maxwell daughter, but we are not Steve and Terri.  There is absolutely no comparison between her higher education (or my own, for that matter) and what these young women are being offered, but it's something and probably the only option within their comfort zone.  I read the handbook for this place, and for me it might as well be on another planet - Planet 1950.  No dancing and no modern music, and no, no, no.  But this is what they know so I guess it works for them.

It's just hard to imagine being 25 and older and putting up with these crazy rules, but, again, it's what they know. I read the few reviews of this place on StudentsReview, and all implied that the place is out of touch with the rest of society.  One even said that students 'endure the rules rather than embrace them'.  I think Mary and her sister will likely embrace the rules.   I think Mary and her sister would have been good nuns if they were Catholic.

 

I hadn't given it a ton of thought, but my nieces are close to their ages. Anna is just 2 months younger than my oldest niece. The one who just had a baby, after 4 years of marriage, a college degree, job advancement, a husband she met in college & dated for 6 years before marrying; she's a home owner, has traveled extensively. She's also a raging feminist and liberal, so there really is no comparison to Anna. But, it's interesting; they are peers, yet as different as night & day in everything from thoughts & beliefs to clothing to education to living life as a 29 year old adult woman. 

My younger niece is a little more than a year older than Mary, having turned 26 in April. She too is married - their first anniversary is in a few weeks. They own their own home, she went to college, they both work for a living; she's even had a career change already to take a breather from the insanity of teaching at this insane time in the world. She knows enough about herself to know it wasn't the best environment for her right now; she wasn't taught to grin & bear the hard shit. 

Everyone does different things in their lives and I've been trying to be more aware of that & not compare but damn....my nieces are full on adults, living their lives and being good people - like, really good people; they are the most compassionate women I know and I mean that in all sincerity - and loving their families & building their families & being productive adults contributing to the world. Then there's Mary & Anna, who are just leaving home for the first time, together, to attend a restrictive college in both rules & education/views. 

It's still a good thing for them and all that, but I just find it so interesting that I am / we are so excited for them - and shocked -  when in most any other family, this was done a decade & more ago & the young women are well beyond those first baby steps outside mom & dad's home. 

It takes all kinds to make the world go round. I hope Anna & Mary grow by leaps & bounds, even within the bible college world. I hope they learn & think & make choices & get lives all their own. I'm just sad it took til now for them to find that path/not be terrified of / brainwashed into not taking it. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Black Aliss said:

The problem with creating an internet brand is that you are trapped when something happens to you that is off-brand. (See Also: Dooce)

It's especially interesting that Anna and Mary apparently started college last year, or even earlier* but I assume,  the campus going online-classes-only on account of the pandemic, they were able to hide it for a long time. We may only get a glimpse of their anything-but-random life when Anna and Mary come back to the Fathership for a visit.

Given the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth that  ensued when Nathan moved out of his bunk bed and across the street,  when Anna and Mary left, Teri and Sarah may have taken to bed, smelling salts in hand and that's why there are no blog updates.

 

*this was mentioned in the previous thread, something about them taking classes online and even making the dean's list.

I agree. We’ve seen this with the Bates and Duggar families too. They have all these rules like no dancing, no pants, no sleeveless shirts and then all the adult kids break those rules. I’m sure it bothers the parents way more than we are led to believe. 

[Black Aliss]

10 hours ago, Fun-Dee said:

So of course I had to go check out the photos on the facebook page. There is a picture of a group of guys playing tug of war in the gym with a crowd watching.  If I am seeing right, Anna and Mary are in the crowd, and Mary is wearing shorts!  They are right above the guy on the right, who is wearing a sleeveless gray shirt.  

 

Good catch! I see precious few, if any, skirts in that audience, so I like that they are fitting in with their peers. It's nice that A&M will be able to do their crossfit-adjacent workouts in appropriate clothing from now on.

Edited September 6, 2021 by Black Aliss

[Bethy]

Pretty sure this is Mary over on the far right in this pic from the ABC FB page. Impossible to really tell what she's wearing but it doesn't flare like a skirt.

[nelliebelle1197]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

I know a picture means nothing, but Mary's non-verbal language amazes me. She looks relaxed and comfortable, with open legs, what makes me think she is very used to wear shorts. Her smile looks natural and sincere and her body is not rigid. I wonder if she was as isolated as we think, or she had a "real" life that never reached the blog. 

I have never thought the Maxwells are as isolated as people on here thought. There have been hints for years that the girls had girlfriends in the big world and at least the older reversal boys had social lives.

[TheJewAmongUs]

2 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

Through all of this, I can't help but be sad for Sarah.

The only one left in the house with her ageing parents while her sisters are away, and facing the theoretical possibility that even if her sisters do return when they've completed their studies, they finally be able to find husbands - more likely in WV or its surrounds and then will be almost permanently out of her life, after having experiences she never got to have and won't ever have. 

She's probably already stepped in to the role of helping her brothers' families while the girls are away, which I got the impression she wasn't that keen on doing since A & M appeared to do it more often than she did. 

So she's got minimal marriage prospects, her dog breeding dream failed, not sure if she's writing any more books, no Colorado trips to look forward to and also the concussion issue to boot. Just her, her parents, the same kids, and the car.

Her sisters will probably miss her 40th birthday next January too because they'll be on campus. Way to make that milestone even more depressing for her. 

I doubt Sarah is helping with the nieces and nephews. I think it's pretty clear from the blogs that Anna and Mary like the kids and Sarah is neutral at best to all but the older girls (who are 11 and 13 now and can be the new cousin-moms). The few times Sarah has been photographed with a kid they're almost at arm's length and she has a very forced and fake smile. She's also blogged about being occupied with her writing and editing on their family trips which I think she uses as an excuse to get out of child care duty.

 

I'm sure they will be there to celebrate her birthday a few days early, it is only 2 days after school starts in January. And I don't think Sarah cares too much about that either. There have been hints that she is not as close to Anna and Mary from her blogs. And she has never participated in any of the reversals creative projects, even all those years she was living at home with them after the older 2 boys were married.

 

  

8 minutes ago, Bethy said:

Pretty sure this is Mary over on the far right in this pic from the ABC FB page. Impossible to really tell what she's wearing but it doesn't flare like a skirt.

 

Wasn't there a photo of Mary wearing pants while working on one of the brother's or Gigi's home somewhat recently? I know we've seen photos showing that Nathan's girls wear shorts and read secular books from the library within the past year.

Edited September 6, 2021 by TheJewAmongUs