Jana Duggar 12: Will She or Won't She?

[viii]

1 hour ago, ven said:

I hope jana finds enough courage to finally say yes!!  , the list grows , equally with age. I hope she can finally break free from being the oldest and duties within the family, she needs some peace and her own turf  finally. nobody should need that much time  , to build up courage to leap unto the unknown... we all did at one point, go jana!!

Jana is steeped in the kool-aid and we have zero proof that she wants any other life but this. I think she’s selective but not because she wants to slyly produce a small quiver or she doesn’t want to abandon her younger siblings. I think she just hasn’t found anyone she’s connected with until now and now that she has, she’s embracing it fully. Married and pregnant by end of 2022 is my call. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

10 minutes ago, viii said:

Jana is steeped in the kool-aid and we have zero proof that she wants any other life but this. I think she’s selective but not because she wants to slyly produce a small quiver or she doesn’t want to abandon her younger siblings. I think she just hasn’t found anyone she’s connected with until now and now that she has, she’s embracing it fully. Married and pregnant by end of 2022 is my call. 

Depending on how soon she gets married she may have a baby by the end of 2022.

[MaryOrMartha]

30 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Depending on how soon she gets married she may have a baby by the end of 2022.

If she get married in October she could have a baby by mid 2022. Depending on fertility, she could be pregnant again by the end of 2022. ? Sooner if they get married before October!

[fundiefriday]

There's never been serious speculation about Jana and any other guys has there?  I can't think of any other rumors that weren't denied within a couple of days.  The Stephen rumors are the only ones that haven't been denied - is that right?

[kbohn23]

7 hours ago, fundiefriday said:

There's never been serious speculation about Jana and any other guys has there?  I can't think of any other rumors that weren't denied within a couple of days.  The Stephen rumors are the only ones that haven't been denied - is that right?

I believe that is correct

[FaithAndReason]

13 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

If she get married in October she could have a baby by mid 2022. Depending on fertility, she could be pregnant again by the end of 2022. ? Sooner if they get married before October!

If she gets married in Oct., gets pregnant immediately, and has zero fertility issues for her whole remaining child-bearing years, she could have 8 kids. This is if she has a baby every 18 months until age 43 (which was the last age Michelle had a live birth). More realistically, I predict 5 kids. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Luckily the married Wissmann males don’t seem to get their wives pregnant almost constantly. Hopefully Stephen is the same. Actually the only married Wissmann that has back to back to back pregnancies is Ruth. The rest space then out better. 

[NotQuiteMotY]

Regarding the engagement ring idea, I can think of several reasons why she might not be wearing one even if they are engaged, including but not limited to having picked one out but it need to be resized before she could wear it, it's not a traditional diamond so it's under the radar, she took it off to do something and forgot to put it back on in the video because she's not used to it yet, or for whatever reason they decided against an engagement ring (didn't want one, saving money, didn't see the point with a short engagement, chose a different token to symbolize). It's usual for fundies, but not exactly a requirement.

[monkeyrocks71]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Luckily the married Wissmann males don’t seem to get their wives pregnant almost constantly. Hopefully Stephen is the same. Actually the only married Wissmann that has back to back to back pregnancies is Ruth. The rest space then out better. 

It could also be that Stephen isn’t hell bent on having a dozen kids either. Realistically, if he wanted to father his own football team, he could go for after a 20 year old wife with zero eyebrows raised. I’m hoping his brothers’ slower pace, plus him possibly marrying a  woman in her *gasp* 30s means he’s not wanting a clown car’s worth of kids.

Edited July 26, 2021 by monkeyrocks71
Missed words

[monkeyrocks71]

I also think it’s interesting that, of all the duggarlings, it’s the three oldest AFTER Josh who aren’t going to have more than two kids by the time they’re thirty (and I suspect everyone except jinger will have four-six at the current pace). I wonder what the difference is for those three versus the rest. 

Edited July 26, 2021 by monkeyrocks71

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, monkeyrocks71 said:

I also think it’s interesting that, of all the duggarlings, it’s the three oldest AFTER Josh who aren’t going to have more than two kids by the time they’re thirty (and I suspect everyone except jinger will have four-six at the current pace). I wonder what the difference is for those three versus the rest. 

They’ve already raised children while they were children. I wouldn’t want 19 kids if I was the oldest girl in a family of 19 kids. 

[AprilQuilt]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

They’ve already raised children while they were children. I wouldn’t want 19 kids if I was the oldest girl in a family of 19 kids. 

yeah, I think this is it. For JD and Jana particularly, I think they've been adultified from a very young age, and have felt even more responsible for the younger kids as Josh pursued his flourishing career as a total prick. JD as the eldest of the boys to actually give a shit, Jana as head sister-mom. Those two NEVER got a day off. They also probably just about remember what it was like to be one of a few siblings, whereas someone like Joe or Joy who only knew life in a large family might be more inclined to replicate it.

But it's a personality thing too. And in the case of Jill while the adultification still applies, I think she'd have been happy-ish sipping the same Kool-Aid as Jessa if she hadn't ended up with a husband like Derick who encouraged her to think around it a bit. I don't think it's a coincidence that JD and Jana resisted settling down for so long and exhibited the same sort of 'pickiness'. They both understand and accept - and subscribe to - what marriage entails in their community, and they had zero compulsion to run headlong into it.

[gustava]

My grandfather was the oldest of 17.  The most he or any of his siblings had was five.  At least two had no children.

[FiveAcres]

Just now, gustava said:

My grandfather was the oldest of 17.  The most he or any of his siblings had was five.  At least two had no children.

My partner is the oldest of twelve (Catholic, not QF.) Sibling parenting was not a thing in his family. We have no offspring. The biggest families among his siblings is three. Four of his siblings also have no offspring to date, and it looks unlikely at this point that they ever will. 

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, gustava said:

My grandfather was the oldest of 17.  The most he or any of his siblings had was five.  At least two had no children.

My mother is one of 8. The 3 oldest daughters all had sibling buddies they were responsible for. 3 siblings had no kids, the others had between 1-3 each. 12 grandkids total.

[SeekingAdventure]

My mom was the oldest of 11. Out of her siblings, one has 5 kids, the rest has either 2 or 3, and one has none.

Between us grandkids (there's a couple :D) out of the ones that are already old enough to have their own offspring, 4 is the maximum, and that's due to multiples..

[EmCatlyn]

On 7/26/2021 at 8:11 AM, FaithAndReason said:

If she gets married in Oct., gets pregnant immediately, and has zero fertility issues for her whole remaining child-bearing years, she could have 8 kids. This is if she has a baby every 18 months until age 43 (which was the last age Michelle had a live birth). More realistically, I predict 5 kids. 

Don’t forget she could have twins. ?

 

[louisa05]

When comparing family sizes across generations, it's important to note that the economy has changed, the cost of raising kids has changed and in the west, family size has been smaller in recent generations. Blaming people's decisions about family size entirely on how many siblings they had is not even close to the whole picture. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

What’s funny is that my mom and dad both have a brother and two sisters. And all of their siblings had kids. None of them decided to be childless. I suppose they didn’t feel like there were too many kids in their family growing up. And then almost all of my married cousins have kids too. I guess we just like kids. But no one has a crazy amount of kids.

[Alisamer]

I think Michelle and JB had a huge number of kids because it got them attention. And because Michelle loves the "sweet little babies!" but doesn't care much for older kids, it seems. They kept pumping out kids, JimBob managed to monetize it, and Michelle got her next "sweet little baby" to cuddle for a few months before handing it off and making a new one. I got the impression JimBob looked at kids as a money making opportunity and possible investment, and Michelle looked at them as collectibles. 

So far, with the exception of the family pedo, it looks like some of the Duggar siblings seem to see kids as actual people - Jill certainly seems to, and I don't get the impression Jessa is into dumping each kid on somebody else once it hits a certain age, either, at least yet. I think if Jana also sees kids as people and responsibilities, she might be glad to only have a few. If she's just been waiting for her chance to have her own fresh collectible babies instead of past-their-prime secondhand ones passed on to her, she might have as many as she can. 

I tend to lean toward the "she's already raised a big family, why would she want to do that again" side, but it's a toss-up.

I do wonder if she's secretly thrilled the TV mess has dried up right before she would be the main show, if she is engaged or courting. It might be a relief to know everything about her relationship/wedding/marriage/life in general isn't going to be on TV.

[NotQuiteMotY]

56 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

When comparing family sizes across generations, it's important to note that the economy has changed, the cost of raising kids has changed and in the west, family size has been smaller in recent generations. Blaming people's decisions about family size entirely on how many siblings they had is not even close to the whole picture. 

See also: more reliable birth control methods.

32 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

...some of the Duggar siblings seem to see kids as actual people - Jill certainly seems to, and I don't get the impression Jessa is into dumping each kid on somebody else once it hits a certain age, either, at least yet.

I think the applicable phrase there is "at least yet." She has four kids, what, five and under? If she adds more any time soon and tries to do the homeschooling thing, too, I can easily see her enlisting her younger sisters to help or just spending more time at the TTH.

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

When comparing family sizes across generations, it's important to note that the economy has changed, the cost of raising kids has changed and in the west, family size has been smaller in recent generations. Blaming people's decisions about family size entirely on how many siblings they had is not even close to the whole picture. 

This is true. But a huge factor in my mother wanting a smaller family is that she spent her teen years as a sister mom after my grandfather died. She was the oldest child still at home and had basically fill responsibility of four younger siblings until she moved out. She wasn't even sure she wanted children but it was a deal breaker for my dad. Now, they would have had two if they had been able but she had zero desire for a huge family. 

Edited July 27, 2021 by CanadianMamam

[meep]

My dad is one of the oldest of 13. He hated it. He never wanted a big family like that, even after making friends with IBLP/ATI folk, he never fully agreed with it. 

[fundiefriday]

On 7/26/2021 at 3:09 PM, monkeyrocks71 said:

It could also be that Stephen isn’t hell bent on having a dozen kids either. Realistically, if he wanted to father his own football team, he could go for after a 20 year old wife with zero eyebrows raised. I’m hoping his brothers’ slower pace, plus him possibly marrying a  woman in her *gasp* 30s means he’s not wanting a clown car’s worth of kids.

I think that Stephen may not want a massive family either.  If they do get engaged and marry, then he'd either be 29 or close to 30 the time his first child is born.  Considering that they both come from families with 13+ kids, having 4-5 children would be a rather small family to them.  I think that there's a definite potential for them to have around 6 kids if they marry this year or early next year but I feel like (and hope) they'll space out their kids so that they only have 4 or 5 max.  It would at least give their children the chance to have genuine one on one time with each of their parents.   

[Bluebirdbluebell]

2 hours ago, louisa05 said:

When comparing family sizes across generations, it's important to note that the economy has changed, the cost of raising kids has changed and in the west, family size has been smaller in recent generations. Blaming people's decisions about family size entirely on how many siblings they had is not even close to the whole picture. 

Blaming? Why would there be blame? It's not a bad decision to have a smaller family. Often it can be a responsible decision to have a smaller family.  I grew up Catholic and I disagree with the Catholic Church that bigger is better and birth control is a sin. It seems more important that the parents feel that they can handle the number of kids they have. 

Edited July 27, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell