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Jana Duggar 12: Will She or Won't She?


nelliebelle1197

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My engagement ring has a 1 carat, very high quality diamond.  My ex paid about $15k for the ring even though it was twice the size I wanted.  (Not surprise that we're divorced now!)  I want to sell it and give the money to my goddaughter when she goes to college, but I'm afraid I won't get very much for it.  My goddaughter lost her dad last week and the whole family is in mourning.  It just makes me sad to think about now, but I still want to be able to give her some money when she's older.  I think I just need to shop the diamond around to a bunch of jewelers here in Los Angeles and see what I can get for it.

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I’m not a jewelry person at all. My husband and I have been married for 23 years. I never wore my wedding ring at home and only put it on when I was leaving the house. 7 years ago I lost it while on vacation. We were doing a rafting trip through Page Arizona that day and all I can think is I took it off to put on sunscreen??  Because I so often didn’t have it on anyway I didn’t realize it was gone until the next morning. I looked all over our hotel room and called the place we did the rafting a few times…So for the past 7 years I’ve had no wedding ring and other than initially having some guilt, it hasn’t mattered to me one bit. I’ve never wanted to replace it. I love traveling and I have no desire to spend money on a ring when that money could be spent on traveling!

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17 minutes ago, Travelfan said:

I’m not a jewelry person at all. My husband and I have been married for 23 years. I never wore my wedding ring at home and only put it on when I was leaving the house. 7 years ago I lost it while on vacation. We were doing a rafting trip through Page Arizona that day and all I can think is I took it off to put on sunscreen??  Because I so often didn’t have it on anyway I didn’t realize it was gone until the next morning. I looked all over our hotel room and called the place we did the rafting a few times…So for the past 7 years I’ve had no wedding ring and other than initially having some guilt, it hasn’t mattered to me one bit. I’ve never wanted to replace it. I love traveling and I have no desire to spend money on a ring when that money could be spent on traveling!

If you ever feel like wearing a ring, they make these inexpensive silicone rings. Men usually wear them for safety reasons. Men who work with their hands wear them. But I think some of them are cute. 

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Wedding rings.

The First Mr. Four bought me a lovely ring that was birthstone/diamond, in a cocktail style.. when we broke up, I couldn't bear to wear the ring any more. I sold the wedding rings for the gold, and had the engagement ring  made into a stick pin.. I've worn that many times since!

I knew a woman in grad school who was a widow, and when she married her second husband, wore both wedding sets because she couldn't bear to stop wearing her first set.

My brother and SIL buy a new wedding set every ten years. 

People are different.

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11 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:

I say do what you want.  
     Hubs of 23 years passed in January and I have no plans for taking mine off.  I had a cheap engagement ring that I took off after we got married. I wanted a plain gold band but he wanted a little fancier so we compromised.  The wife’s band came free when we bought the men’s at Sears for $300. After 20 years, it cracked so I just held it together w/ doctors tape. The next year, right before Xmas, one of the stones fell out so I said a new one can be my gift. I found a really similar one at JcPenney’s for $175. I’m quite happy with it. 

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My daughter’s engagement ring is very similar to this, except platinum and the diamonds go all the way around. When her now husband went to the jeweler to have it made the jeweler kept asking him if he was sure this is what she wants? Not a typical engagement ring. This is exactly what she wanted. She’s an art teacher and rings that stick up get in her way. She has a simple platinum wedding band and also a silicone band she wears when working with clay.

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As long I can remember I wanted a nice wedding ring with a blue or teal colored stone. But then we got matching silver rings to wear now and I realized I don‘t want more than that on my finger even if we get married someday. It‘s the thought of wearing such an expensive piece every day and losing it that makes me feel uneasy.

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6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

If you ever feel like wearing a ring, they make these inexpensive silicone rings. Men usually wear them for safety reasons. Men who work with their hands wear them. But I think some of them are cute. 

Yep, my SIL wears one. My daughter never wears her rings.

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6 hours ago, Travelfan said:

I’m not a jewelry person at all. My husband and I have been married for 23 years. I never wore my wedding ring at home and only put it on when I was leaving the house. 7 years ago I lost it while on vacation. We were doing a rafting trip through Page Arizona that day and all I can think is I took it off to put on sunscreen??  Because I so often didn’t have it on anyway I didn’t realize it was gone until the next morning. I looked all over our hotel room and called the place we did the rafting a few times…So for the past 7 years I’ve had no wedding ring and other than initially having some guilt, it hasn’t mattered to me one bit. I’ve never wanted to replace it. I love traveling and I have no desire to spend money on a ring when that money could be spent on traveling!

My sister has a very nice custom fancy wedding set her hubby got made for her - but when traveling? She wears a cheap Walmart ring and leaves the nice ones at home. It works for her, she still gets to wear a pretty ring without the worry. 

(On a semi-related note, at my college the class ring usually went on the right ring finger - all women's college, btw - and I know off several people on several occasions who, upon being hassled by an oblivious guy not taking their no for an answer, slipped the class ring off and put it on their left hand with the bottom up, so it looked like a plain gold band. Odd how sometimes "I'm not interested" doesn't work, but "I belong to another guy" does.)

6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

If you ever feel like wearing a ring, they make these inexpensive silicone rings. Men usually wear them for safety reasons. Men who work with their hands wear them. But I think some of them are cute. 

I know of at least one doctor (female) who wears these. Cute, comfy, and not in the way.

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I have a pack of silicon rings I use when volunteering around food or at the beach. It’s only been a bit over a year but I’m already so used to wearing a ring nonstop. My engagement ring was picked by us together and purchased together. I love it so much but wish I had an option for a plain band I could wear sometimes on its own!

Here are my rings! Pls ignore my messy nails. 
 

Spoiler

image.thumb.jpg.889e4c7519736cd659232fd1b2f2740f.jpg

 

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46 minutes ago, closetcagebaby said:

I have a pack of silicon rings I use when volunteering around food or at the beach. It’s only been a bit over a year but I’m already so used to wearing a ring nonstop. My engagement ring was picked by us together and purchased together. I love it so much but wish I had an option for a plain band I could wear sometimes on its own!

Here are my rings! Pls ignore my messy nails. 
 

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That’s stunning! 
 

If my future wealthy spouse can hear me, I’d like a ring like yours or an emerald cut diamond with baguettes😂

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I chose both engagement and wedding ring together with the first MrX. Turns out the rings were prettier than the marriage turned out to be. The current (second) MrX and I never got engaged. We just got married in the city hall one friday six years ago. I have a plain palladium wedding band, and it's perfect. Just like the husband. But yes, the first rings I had were pretty. i still own them. They sit in a box in my bathroom. Hand made and darn expensive. This thread reminded me that I need to do something with them. 

 

BC10D796-0EDA-4BD5-8F76-78667D89A36A_4_5005_c.jpeg

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18 hours ago, hollyfeller said:

My engagement ring has a 1 carat, very high quality diamond.  My ex paid about $15k for the ring even though it was twice the size I wanted.  (Not surprise that we're divorced now!)  I want to sell it and give the money to my goddaughter when she goes to college, but I'm afraid I won't get very much for it.  My goddaughter lost her dad last week and the whole family is in mourning.  It just makes me sad to think about now, but I still want to be able to give her some money when she's older.  I think I just need to shop the diamond around to a bunch of jewelers here in Los Angeles and see what I can get for it.

Sadly jewellery has a terrible resale value :(

 

My experience is that few people want to risk or can afford to buy from an individual, and jewellery stores prefer to do trade in's. If you get 1/2 you are doing pretty good in selling your ring. Not wanting to be the bearer of bad news, but been there watching a friend and it's not easy to sell once you cross a certain value.

 

Cheaper jewellery actually holds value better. Under about $500 your more likely to get near what you paid, the higher you go it's hard, until you get into super rare pieces and celebrity connections. A lot of the value in resale is the size of the market. 

 

 

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5 hours ago, closetcagebaby said:

I have a pack of silicon rings I use when volunteering around food or at the beach. It’s only been a bit over a year but I’m already so used to wearing a ring nonstop. My engagement ring was picked by us together and purchased together. I love it so much but wish I had an option for a plain band I could wear sometimes on its own!

Here are my rings! Pls ignore my messy nails. 
 

  Hide contents

image.thumb.jpg.889e4c7519736cd659232fd1b2f2740f.jpg

 

Nails still better than Katie’s claws lol 

lovely ring. Xo

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21 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Here are my rings and his. 

Your ring sets are beautiful.

You reminded me.. when Mr. Four had heart surgery, they told him to leave his wedding ring off at home.. That morning, he took it off and put it on his nightstand. I immediately picked it up and put it on. I was afraid that if that ring got cold, well, that he would, too... if you KWIM.  I wore it till he came home from the hospital and was able to wear it again.

Now I already wear two wedding rings and an engagement ring, but his ring fit there, too!

Why do I wear two wedding rings? Well, he got me a cute engagement ring that was a "wrap" style. But he wanted us to have matching wedding bands that were a bit fancier. 

Not to mention that we had a civil ceremony one day, and a "blessing of the marriage" church service the next. (reception followed this one) So I got a 2mm ring for my first band, and it went with the engagement ring, and I got the matching 6mm band, for the next day, and I've worn them all ever since. The inner carving reflects the dates.

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4 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

You reminded me.. when Mr. Four had heart surgery, they told him to leave his wedding ring off at home.. That morning, he took it off and put it on his nightstand. I immediately picked it up and put it on. I was afraid that if that ring got cold, well, that he would, too... if you KWIM.  I wore it till he came home from the hospital and was able to wear it again.

When he had surgery, medical treatments tests, etc. he wouldn't take his ring off until we got to the hospital or clinic. I immediately put it on one of my fingers. When he was ready to go, I'd put the ring back on his finger like when we got married. Why? Hellifino, it was just something we did. The last time he took it off was at his last hospitalization. He had lost so much weight that the ring would slip off. He gave it to me so he wouldn't lose it. Well, David, I haven't lost your ring, I wear it for you. Maybe someday I'll be able to give it back...

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I sold my rings. I got so little for them I was appalled. My €10,000 ring fetched only €2,000 at auction. I’m sorry now that I did. I wish I had made a necklace or something. As others have said, the resale value of jewellery is awful. It really makes me question the retail prices. 

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My engagement ring was an amethyst for sentimental reasons and then I had small amethyst band as a wedding ring. But I got to the point where I hated the raised setting of my engagement ring and so I bought myself a new rose gold band and retired my original set. I have held on to them as they have sentimental value.

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4 hours ago, Irishy said:

I sold my rings. I got so little for them I was appalled. My €10,000 ring fetched only €2,000 at auction. I’m sorry now that I did. I wish I had made a necklace or something. As others have said, the resale value of jewellery is awful. It really makes me question the retail prices. 

I posted this up thread, but I used to work in the jewelry industry, corporate side.  I can tell you the mark-ups are insane and would probably make you sick.  The mall and chain jewelers are the worst.  If you are in the market to buy jewelry, I always advise shopping local independent stores where the mark-ups are less offensive and more of the money goes to the employees and store owners and not shareholders and executives.

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11 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

 If you are in the market to buy jewelry, I always advise shopping local independent stores where the mark-ups are less offensive and more of the money goes to the employees and store owners and not shareholders and executives.

I am fortunate to have near me a wonderful and inventive independent jeweler. He has helped and advised me to design jewelry for me.

I heartily endorse this message.

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On 9/16/2021 at 8:16 AM, sableduck said:

That’s ridiculous.  We didn’t get expensive rings(cheap ones from a chain store, yep) my dress was less than $70, and husband’s family made a nice potluck dinner for after the ceremony.  And we were making well over six figures at the time; we just had different priorities than expensive wedding stuff.  We used the money we would have spent on all of that on an investment house that’s now worth four times what we paid for it then.

  We’ve been married almost 13 years and still going strong, so clearly the amount of money you put into jewelery isnt a sign of the strength of your relationship.

White trash my ass. 

We spent about $2000 on rings. We’ve been happily married for 12+ years. Being cheap isn’t the key to a happy marriage. It seems like any discussion of weddings ends up with the contest to prove who has the cheapest wedding and is therefore the happiest couple. It’s absurd. 

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As with anything, if you're not hurting anyone do what makes you happy. We had a small wedding so we could afford a nice one with steak and open bar and a pretty venue. Some people want to save for a house or a honeymoon. Some don't have extra money and some never spent much time dreaming about their wedding so they don't care.

As long as you end up married at the end of the day, it counts. And 5, 10, 15 whatever years down the line if you're still happy then you are very lucky. I do think it's important to like your ring, though since in theory you will wear it forever. My ring is garnets with small accent diamonds and I think it's the most beautiful piece of jewelry I've ever seen, even 8 years out.

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My biggest piece of advice for weddings in general is so what YOU and your mate want and don’t let expectations or “the norm” influence you to do things you don’t want to do. 

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On 9/16/2021 at 6:32 PM, Not that josh's mom said:

Some one asked if I intend to continue wearing my engagement and wedding ring since my husband died earlier this year. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't.  I wear my MiL'S  upgraded engagement ring between her original wedding ring and my mother's wedding band in my right hand. Do you wear your wedding ring after a death or not?

Some continue to wear them, some switch the fingers, some hang them from necklaces, some pass them down, some make a family ring with them.  I know of people who had their spouses ashes turned into a ‘Diamond’ and reset into their rings.  I know others who were so worried they’d lose them that they stored them.  So many options and it changes as the years and circumstances change (like if your hands swell or you join the navy (I’m a young widow so that’s actually still an option).  

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I told my then-boyfriend, don't ever dare propose to me with a diamond ring. They are way overpriced and have no resale value. I asked for either a Morganite or Moissanite. I ended up with a lab grown moissanite as the center stone set in yellow gold with a diamond halo and diamonds going around the band from an independent jeweler. It's drop-dead gorgeous! It wasn't exactly cheap, but we wouldn't have afforded something like this if the center stone was a diamond. I hate people who are jewelry snobs. Especially with things like wedding rings/bands, that is such a personal thing. If people want Walmart or expensive diamonds or whatever, let them enjoy their things!!! I'd have no problem with a Walmart ring. Actually, while I am going to get a matching wedding band, I also really want a ~$100 gold Claddagh ring to use as a wedding band too when I don't feel like using the full set (I'm marrying an [American] Irishman!). 

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