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Bro Gary Hawkins 18: Bro In My State...State of the Bro


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12 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Shane, I wish there was an "um, OK, I guess . . . " button.

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Sometimes when I read Gary's stuff all I can think is that line from the commercial, "That's now how it works.  That's now how any of this works."

For Gary, Jesus came down just to make a blood sacrifice so that Gary and his ilk could live forever in Heaven.  It's totally slipped by him that the Bible shows that Jesus was sent to teach humans to love one another and would probably have preferred not to be killed.  The message means nothing to Gary but the grisly human sacrifice element is really important.  And Gary doesn't think good works amount to much so he doesn't have to live as if he cares about others.  All that matters are the magic words.  As long as he says he believes in Jesus, all is forgiven.

That's not how any of this works.  No, Gary.  Jesus didn't die just so your sorry ass could have a mansion in Heaven. 

And I'm pretty sick of hearing fundies talk about blood.  Yuck.

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1 hour ago, Xan said:

That's not how any of this works.  No, Gary.  Jesus didn't die just so your sorry ass could have a mansion in Heaven. 

And I'm pretty sick of hearing fundies talk about blood.  Yuck.

And let the people say Amen.. especially about the blood stuff. It fails me utterly to understand just how people think they can say something one time about "believing", and they're good to go forever?

Not how that works. 

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4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Shane, I wish there was an "um, OK, I guess . . . " button.

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I often look at social media posts and wonder why the poster thought it necessary to share such a random, pointless thought with the rest of the world. This one ranks up there with those. It’s just Gary expressing self-satisfaction. It does nothing to evangelize others. 

Gary seems obsessed with the gorier details of the crucifixion story, as well as bodily fluids in other stories (see: Lazarus). I wonder if the blood sacrifice aspect plays into his electric chair fantasy. His mind is a weird place. 

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Gary hope to y'all, at Bible believes Baptist Church.

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ETA - glad to see it's Danny Hershey's church, and that it wasn't Rager the rager that got Gary to work for him.

Edited by thoughtful
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Speaking of Rager, he has posted on Facebook again and I am livid. I really hope he just dredged up some old pictures, because they are pictures of him with his daughter. I really hope he isn't getting to see her and read Chick tracts to her any more. ?

Spoiler

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7 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Shane, I wish there was an "um, OK, I guess . . . " button.

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I wish there was an "eyeroll" button, which is my usual reaction to everything brohawk ?

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8 hours ago, Xan said:

And I'm pretty sick of hearing fundies talk about blood.  Yuck.

I'm a Christian and I don't like hearing about blood.  There's one particular hymn - There is a Fountain Filled with Blood - that always makes me gag just thinking about it.

1 hour ago, MayMay1123 said:

I wish there was an "eyeroll" button, which is my usual reaction to everything brohawk ?

I'm pretty sure they added one here on FJ just for Jill Rodrigues.

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Well, speaking of blood, the Wednesday night service at Bible Believers Baptist church in DeFuniak Springs FL begins with the droning of Power in the Blood. Then, Near the Cross is slaughtered.

The person running this service so far, who appears to be very young, and I know is not the pastor, reads a letter from a missionary raising money to go to "Papa" New Guinea. I couldn't listen to all of it, but there was clearly a lot of the same shit Gary says, about how God gave them vehicles and money, because God has been so good, and please pray for them to sell them now, and get their paperwork done and a shipping container.

Prayer requests - Gary asks prayers for a family named Maxwell - Brother Ray passed away today. Then come lots of prayer requests that are too quiet for me to hear the details, and a very, very long prayer from someone in the congregation, then another, almost as long, from the guy at the lectern.

Gary does his usual opening, then tells them he must have deserved punishment from God to be sent to Florida in the summer. They sing, ending with Preach On.

Gary thanks them for the motel and the food. They treated him to Chinese food last night.

"Ah quit readin' sahns during this pandamic mess - ah quit readin' sahns, ah mean, they just, they're  depressin' amen. But, uh - Jacob said 'You s'posed put ohna paira gluh-uhves while you're gittin' this food' ah said 'Ah ain't got tahm - ah gotta git mah food 'n' go set down.'"

Gary starts talking about how everybody's dying - not his usual "we could all die any time," but talking about specific people who have died during the pandemic, then veers off into how there are still good churches "by the side of the road," and how doorknockin' still works.

"And uh so, but uh, Matthew chapter 11, Matthew chapter 11 . . . so uh, but uh . . . pray the Lord's will be done amen ah don't know if anybody's here lost ah don't know if anybody here just needs to hear from the Lord - well, we all need to hear from the Lord, amen? Uh, Brother Henry said there as we was walkin' out - outta the kitchen over here, 'The devil's workin' overtahm.' An' ah'm gonna tell ya raht now don't expect himta quit, matterafact, ya maht wanna see - ya might wanna expect him to get a little bit more. Because he knows, y'know? He's not all-powered, he's not all God, he don't know everything God knows, but he does know his tahm's comin' to an end. And, uh, so, we better do all we can before the Lord comes, amen?"

He finally stops fumbling around and reads Matthew.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mathew+11%3A1-11&version=KJV

The leopards are cleansed, as usual, among many other errors and changes.

Gary fumbles some more, then finally announces his theme; Is Jesus Enough?

Jesus may or may not be, but that's enough of Gary for me tonight. I will finish listening to this tomorrow.

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3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary thanks them for the motel and the food. They treated him to Chinese food last night.

"Ah quit readin' sahns during this pandamic mess - ah quit readin' sahns, ah mean, they just, they're  depressin' amen. But, uh - Jacob said 'You s'posed put ohna paira gluh-uhves while you're gittin' this food' ah said 'Ah ain't got tahm - ah gotta git mah food 'n' go set down.'"

 

Good ole Gary, selfish and lazy as ever, and proud of it. Me me me...

How can he read so much Bible and NONE of the message is rubbing off on him. I mean, Jesus had plenty of things to say about not being a self-centered asshole.

Gary doesn't even realize this makes him look like an absolute shitty brat.

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13 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Speaking of Rager, he has posted on Facebook again and I am livid. I really hope he just dredged up some old pictures, because they are pictures of him with his daughter. I really hope he isn't getting to see her and read Chick tracts to her any more. ?

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Don't know about the jurisdiction he's in, but here he would be unless his daughter were old enough to say she didn't want to see him. Just because you are an abusive husband doesn't meant the court will cease contact with children - it might be supervised contact (but probably not unless he was convicted of abusing them too, and even then not certainly) and will likely be a neutral drop off location with no contact between parents but he will still have contact.

9 hours ago, Dana723 said:

I'm a Christian and I don't like hearing about blood.  There's one particular hymn - There is a Fountain Filled with Blood - that always makes me gag just thinking about it.

It's very... Carrie.

6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

The leopards are cleansed, as usual

Still funny. Washing leopards never ceases to amuse me.

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6 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

 Just because you are an abusive husband doesn't meant the court will cease contact with children - it might be supervised contact (but probably not unless he was convicted of abusing them too, and even then not certainly) and will likely be a neutral drop off location with no contact between parents but he will still have contact.

Yeah, I know. :sad: I should have added that I knew it was likely that he is permitted to see her, and that I just was expressing my emotions about it.

8 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Jesus had plenty of things to say about not being a self-centered asshole.

He sure did. What Jesus had to say never seems to enter in to Gary's preaching. I'm trying to remember when I have heard him read a verse that quotes anything from Jesus, other than a parable (and, as we all know, he usually misses the point of those).

I know he attempts (and screws up) the camel/eye of a needle one now and then. He drags out John 14:6 occasionally:  Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

I imagine both of them appeal because he hears "neener neener, you'd better follow the rules I like or no soup Heaven for you" in them.

And he tells the story of the woman taken in adultery, wallowing in the comeuppance Jesus gives the holier-than-thou men who accused her, and making sure to tell us that Jesus sent her off with "sin no more." It may seem ironic to us, but Gary loves to mock people he perceives as holier-than-thou - hence @postscript's avatar.

Remind me if I'm missing some, but, other than those, it seems to me that Gary never even quotes Jesus - no sermon on the mount, nothing peaceful or useful or kind.

ETA - I remembered another - the "rich young ruler," as Gary describes him, who walks away sad after Jesus tells him to give up all of his possessions. Gary fancies himself someone who gave up everything to go on the road, and, of course, wants to hint to all of his listeners that it would be sinful to want to keep their money rather than giving it to Gary.

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20 hours ago, postscript said:

His mind is a weird place. 

I imagine it's like a low-budget small-time paranormal investigation Youtube video in there. Dark, dusty, cobwebs, a tangled mess of empty hallways, mysterious sounds, every step echoes, there's an occasional bit of graffiti or piece of random trash, always seems like there'll be something scary around the next corner, but there never is anything of substance. Just darkness, emptiness, dust and fear.

8 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

How can he read so much Bible and NONE of the message is rubbing off on him.

I'm not sure he actually READS. I mean, he looks at the words and recites them out loud, but I think it somehow goes from eye to mouth without ever filtering through what few brain cells are bouncing around in there. Even when he reads to himself I'd be willing to bet he mouths the words and there's little to no comprehension there at all.

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9 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I imagine it's like a low-budget small-time paranormal investigation Youtube video in there. Dark, dusty, cobwebs, a tangled mess of empty hallways, mysterious sounds, every step echoes, there's an occasional bit of graffiti or piece of random trash, always seems like there'll be something scary around the next corner, but there never is anything of substance. Just darkness, emptiness, dust and fear.

I'm not sure he actually READS. I mean, he looks at the words and recites them out loud, but I think it somehow goes from eye to mouth without ever filtering through what few brain cells are bouncing around in there. Even when he reads to himself I'd be willing to bet he mouths the words and there's little to no comprehension there at all.

You're right.  I don't think there's anything in Gary's head.  I love your description of it.

This is my problem with the fundies generally and with a lot of preachers.  There is so much in the Bible that is thought-provoking.  Why do they go with just reading and accepting it?  For example, there's the story in Genesis about God testing Abraham's faith by telling him to take his only son, Isaac, up to a mountain and kill him.  Abraham takes him there, ties him to the altar, and is about to kill him when God stops him and allows him to sacrifice a ram instead.  

You can tell that I had trouble early on with religion if I'm only in Genesis and I'm already peeved.  What God would tell you to kill your child?  Did Abraham have qualms?  Did it cross his mind to refuse?  And how did Isaac feel about his father after he realized that old dad was about to murder him?  It might have helped to have a pastor talk about this story and put it in some other context.  I don't know.  It's just that, for me, the Bible is filled with stories like this that puzzle me and I am constantly amazed that our pet fundies just accept every word without question.

Would Gary sacrifice someone if he thought God wanted it?  Probably.  Although, God had better not want Gary to put on a mask or wear gloves...

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1 minute ago, Xan said:

You can tell that I had trouble early on with religion if I'm only in Genesis and I'm already peeved.  What God would tell you to kill your child?  Did Abraham have qualms?  Did it cross his mind to refuse?  And how did Isaac feel about his father after he realized that old dad was about to murder him?  It might have helped to have a pastor talk about this story and put it in some other context.  I don't know.  It's just that, for me, the Bible is filled with stories like this that puzzle me and I am constantly amazed that our pet fundies just accept every word without question.

That's one of the things I like about my pastor. Though I rarely go to church, when I do I always learn something! Because he's got a doctorate (a real one, not basement bible college), is a history nerd, and reads everything he can get his hands on. His daughter is in college studying science. He's more up to date on current media than I am. He generally does go into connotations of words, and the context of the surrounding social times and norms, and other things that help put stories in context. I don't think I've heard him speak on this particular story, but he generally does read the verses, and then says "OK, so this word here is translated as this, but in some early copies of this text this is the word actually used, and it is thought to have this sort of connotation. Also, in this time period..." 

He does a lot of research ahead of time, and tries to help us understand the context and how the people of the time might have understood what was happening, and after that will get to what he believes the meaning is for us today. 

I think there are a lot of reasons Gary doesn't want to be a real pastor of a church - but one big one is that he'd have to come up with variations of his sermons instead of rotating the same handful over and over. You can recycle bits when you're at a different church every week, not so much when you are preaching to the same people for years on end. 

Gary just barely manages to get through the few parts he goes through repeatedly. Forget him actually putting effort in to learn, so that he can teach.

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13 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary does his usual opening, then tells them he must have deserved punishment from God to be sent to Florida in the summer.

This again. How tone-deaf, self-centered, and ungrateful do you have to be, to stand up in front of the people that invited you to their church and community, gave you food and offerings to sustain your ministry... and say you view God sending you to them as a punishment?

A person of ordinary empathy would say, "Man, it's hot down here, but I am so glad to be with you tonight."

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1 hour ago, Xan said:

For example, there's the story in Genesis about God testing Abraham's faith by telling him to take his only son, Isaac, up to a mountain and kill him.  Abraham takes him there, ties him to the altar, and is about to kill him when God stops him and allows him to sacrifice a ram instead.  

 

I consider myself a Christian, and I’ve always had trouble with that story.

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I am rested, have girded up my loins (figuratively speaking) and am ready to listen to more of  Bro Gary's message from last night.

After announcing that his theme is Is Jesus Enough, Gary tells us, "Nowahwahnna say, mah answer is, He is enough."

Ah, if only he would stop there. The following is mostly one long stream - I just broke it into two paragraphs for readability.

"But ah'm beginnin' to wonder today in our churchesss, in the World, in our places 'at we go, ah'm beginnin' to wonder if Jesus is enough. Ah mean you hear questions lahk say well listen hey ah don't lahk sickness no more than the next person does, ah don't lahk it. Amen? But bein' saved ain't gonna change yer cancer. Bein' saved is not gonna keep you from dahin'. You say 'how d'ya know?' Hebrews is still in the Bahble amen an' we're seein' it every day great friends of ours down in Arkansas he was a uh uh uh good man, good man to the church 'n' ever'thing - he ain't here no more."

"Butchu look aroun' 'n' hey listen hey ah'll promise you that there are people tonight are questioning Is Jesus Enough. Ah mean wha - if Jesus is enough, an' an' if Jesus is real, 'n' you know what we got people doubtin' today whether Jesus is even real. An' 'ey say, 'Well, if Jesus was real, listen, we wouldn't have cancer.' Ah ain't found that in the Bahble, amen."

It seems he doesn't think he's loud enough, and he takes the microphone from it's stand. "Ah gotta tote this thing around. Oh mah Lord, have mercy, ah feel lahk one them hippie preachers, amen. But, uh - Is Jesus Enough?"

Spoiler

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Jesus is enough, but it's hard to convince people. Gary puts things on Facebook and gets criticized, church is essential, you should be there whenever the times on the sign outside the church says to be.

He's been getting some callbacks of assent but, when he doesn't get loud "amens" to that, he says, "Don't back off on me, ah believe some of y'all livin' some of this stuff, amen."

Then, for whatever reason, the camera moves - off to the left, then all the way around the church clockwise. We see that there are, perhaps, three people in the pews behind Becky and Jacob.

Spoiler

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Who, exactly, do you expect to be yelling back at you, Gary?

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=job+1%3A20&version=KJV

He says they all know what happened to Job, and includes "Listen, his own wife, turned his back on her amen."

Gary only believes in two genders, and he still can't keep his pronouns lined up.

More stale Garyshit follows, then, while he is screaming about worshiping Jesus even through the rough times, I hear, "Listen, hey, he's got balls, he's got problems, his wife's gohn, his chldren's gohn, his farm's gohn, his life pretty well, far as a physical life, is gohn, and he shaved his head, and  and scraped the balls, and then worshiped God."

It takes me a second, then I realize he is back to Job, and "balls" is "boils."

Damn - it was funnier before I realized that.

And he's off and running with America believing the media, which is always wrong, his fantasy of martyrdom in the electric chair, the martyr's book he cain't never say right, tortures.

When he asks "am ah makin' sense tonight?" and gets a positive answer, he complains, as usual, "'Bout two of ya." Well, yeah - it's difficult for empty pews to speak, Gary.

I have a hard time imagining that Gary is bright enough to always pretend he is preaching to a crowd, assuming the camera will never show that there's almost nobody there, but maybe he is.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A26&version=KJV

God is the same as always, but people don't believe it anymore. "Ah'm beginnin' to wonder if anybody believes anything anymore."

And he's off screaming about the infallible King James Bible, whining when he doesn't get loud amens, telling them Isaiah says the governors gonna be on his shoulders, and other Garyisms you've heard before.

The problem with the economy is lazy people who won't work, and he whines when he gets very little response to "Is ever'body alraht?"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+4%3A18-20&version=KJV

Three short, very familiar verses, and he still manages to screw it up, saying "fishermen of men," as he usually does.

"Is Jesus still good enough, when it comes to serving?"

Gary likes knocking on doors. They got someone to come to church from last night's doorknocking. Yes, one of the handful of people there is some poor shmuck they pulled in with the doorknocking.

Gary brags about how he defied pandemic laws for soulwinning, in NY and on the reservation.

Here's something new: "Mah wahf sells Tupperware and uh yesterday mornin' we went an' met with the director - is that her - the director of her team. She's from Worshington state. Ah'm not sure that that woman's ever heard God's name unless it was bein' cussed. An' ah talked to her a little bit, an' ah said 'Hey! Ah'm gohnbe preachin' at uh Bahble Believers Baptist Church at this Defuniak Springs Wednesday naht an' ah'd lahk t'invite ya t'come' an' she laughed at me. Then she said 'Well, ah'll think about it.'"

He only does it for the Lord Jesus Christ. And he tells us how yet another motel will be filled with his tracts. He tries to be funny about Brother Dan being indoors in the air conditioning while Gary was outside walking to lose weight and inviting people to church. Oh, and he'd better hurry up, because they need to go home and watch I Love Lucy.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+14%3A29&version=KJV

"Is still Jesus good enough to keep your eyes on Him?"

Sure, but moving Jesus is more interesting to watch! ?

"Ah go to Michigan an' preach sometahm, an' one of their words is, ya say 'How ya doin'?' an' they use the word peachy. Wellyouahletchuknow, life is not always peachy. Amen?"

"Miss Diane, our friends in Arkansas, just lohst her husband. She tol' mah wahf because the doctor made her make the choice. If mah wahf ever goes on lahf support ah'm gonna tell the doctors 'You make the choice, ah cain't.' That'd be a hard choice, amen?"

And he's on to the McFaddens again. Brother Kenneth told Gary he has had to learn to do laundry,  and "'match myself.' Ah tol' mah wah, ah said, 'If you ever dah, the churches'll either just hafta endear me to the end, because ah'll never match."

And he goes on to tell them how, after his wife died, Brother Carl Lackey never matched, but "he was old enough it didn't matter."

Yeah, that's the painful part of losing a beloved spouse - all of that unmatched clothing.

But, anyway, the Comforter is comforting Brother McFadden, and he even preached his own wife's funeral. Gary says he told Becky he may not even show up for hers.

Old "church was unessential way before the pandemic," preachers are quitting, etc. stuff follows.

Gary likes Florida's governor, but he's depending on Jesus, not any governor.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+17%3A20&version=KJV

KJV: If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Bro Gary Version: If ye have faith as a grain of a mustard seed, ye shall say unto the mountain Remove hence to yonder. Place and it shall be removed; and nothin' shall be impossible unto God.

Is Jesus enough with your faith?

"Listen, as you gotta have - you - most of - all of ya had faith enough and trust in your vehicle to git you from wherever you was, to git you to church amen?"

Gary, that is the stupidest example since you used to preach about people having faith that a chair or a floor would hold them. I don't have "faith" in my car - I recently took it to the mechanic and had it checked out, inspected and repaired. It hasn't been making any weird noises or doing anything else suspicious. I know it has gas in the tank. So I have knowledge that it is likely to be in good enough shape to get me where I'm going.

Every word of the Bahble is true, but Gary admits he "don't unnerstand all of it." "Ah ain't one them professors,'well, ah got it allllll under control.' Hahaha - ah'm far from that. Ah don't even wanna be most  of what some professors ah know today."

Don't worry, Gary - no danger there.

He fumbles about with his usual mustard greens/collard greens/North/South shit.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=philippians+4%3A19&version=KJV

God will provide every need. Gary starts in on the West burning, and the coming food shortage. He says he doesn't know how he "lost all this weight," because he loves to eat.

But then he implies he does know: "Because ah'm eatin' things that I don't like. God have mercy. Ah don't eat carrots for mah health. Celery for mah health. Amen."

Gary, I think you mean you do eat those things for your health, idiot.

I thought he'd realized that he'd gained back enough that he shouldn't be using the weight loss in his messages any more, because he hasn't mentioned it in a while. But I guess not.

He does his routine about the "uhuhuhuh politician world up yonder" (wonder why he doesn't specify Biden this time) faking the gas shortage. "And that ain't somethin' ah hearsay, ah know."

On to the crap about God providing food, clothing, vehicles and shelter for his seven children, and Chinese food once a month. He throws in that, last September, Jacob was up to "mah wahf's shoulders, now he's taller than both of us. But ah told him 'Don't worry, the taller you git, the more ah kin bring you down.' Amen."

Gary says his oldest son is "fixin' t'get married prob'ly in the next year if not before - it ain't his fault he ain't married now."

OK, that makes a little more sense than the first time he said it - I think it's his attempt at a colorful way to say they are eager to get married.

But it makes Gary think "how in the world did ah make it, when ah first got married?"

Which time, Gary?

Anyway, his answer to how he made it, of course, is "God."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+peter+1%3A14-15&version=KJV

Is Jesus enough when it comes to obeying Him?

And the video cuts off. I guess we'll never know what Gary's final words of wisdom were.

Edited by thoughtful
Satan was working overtime on my ability to proofread.
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10 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Then, for whatever reason, the camera moves - off to the left, then all the way around the church clockwise. We see that there are, perhaps, three people in the pews behind Becky and Jacob.

I always wonder what the attendance is at Gary’s blatherfests, so I’m glad this happened.  And thank you, @thoughtful, for transcribing the weenese.  It’s so hard for me to follow.  ❤️ 

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26 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

"Listen, as you gotta have - you - most of - all of ya had faith enough and trust in your vehicle to git you from wherever you was, to git you to church amen?"

Gary, that is the stupidest example since you used to preach about people having faith that a chair or a floor would hold them. I don't have "faith" in my car - I recently took it to the mechanic and had it checked out, inspected and repaired. It hasn't been making any weird noises or doing anything else suspicious. I know it has gas in the tank. So I have knowledge that it is likely to be in good enough shape to get me where I'm going.

That's right. These analogies are a pet peeve of mine. The word "faith" is really slippery... sometimes it means belief (justified or not), sometimes it means trust, sometimes it means the "leap of" kind. Those are not the same thing, but evangelizers tend to equivocate as if they are.

31 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

When he asks "am ah makin' sense tonight?" and gets a positive answer, he complains, as usual, "'Bout two of ya." Well, yeah - it's difficult for empty pews to speak, Gary.

I have a hard time imagining that Gary is bright enough to always pretend he is preaching to a crowd, assuming the camera will never show that there's almost nobody there, but maybe he is.

As if his preaching wasn't surreal enough... knowing there are only 3 other people in there adds another layer. Thanks for mentioning the camera spin.

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4 hours ago, Antipatriarch said:

This again. How tone-deaf, self-centered, and ungrateful do you have to be, to stand up in front of the people that invited you to their church and community, gave you food and offerings to sustain your ministry... and say you view God sending you to them as a punishment?

A person of ordinary empathy would say, "Man, it's hot down here, but I am so glad to be with you tonight."

."God sent me here for a punishment... but guys, what all did YOU do to get sent here to LIVE?"

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The light attendance (this took place on a weeknight, correct? He probably gets bigger crowds on Sundays) gives some relevance to his recent complaints about people needing to be in church whenever there’s a scheduled service. He probably thinks everyone ought to be showing up to listen to his tired words of wisdom and bless him with love offerings. 

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5 hours ago, thoughtful said:

It seems he doesn't think he's loud enough, and he takes the microphone from it's stand. "Ah gotta tote this thing around. Oh mah Lord, have mercy, ah feel lahk one them hippie preachers, amen

Um, wut? How do the dots for “ones who carries a microphone” and “hippie preacher” connect in the rat’s maze of Gary’s mind?

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Gary, that prince among husbands, took Becky to the beach.

Of course, right away, he tells us he's got to be very careful how he films, because "we at the beach, an' ah'm tellin' you -"

Becky: "The seashore."

Gary: "At the seashore. But uh mah wahf's down here gittin' sand therapy, an' there's the water, there's the beach, amen, ocean, beach, seashore, whatever ya want it ta be, but that's the place."

Gary, you're a regular fuckin' David Attenborough.

I'm just glad Becky interrupted him before he started ranting about nekkid people, which he was clearly about to do.

He tells us there are lots of people there, and says he wanted everybody to know that he takes his wife to the beach when they get close. Also, it's hot, it's humid, but that's what happens when you go south in the summer time "God's got us here, praise the Lord."

He doesn't sound convinced.

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10 hours ago, smittykins said:

I consider myself a Christian, and I’ve always had trouble with that story.

It's not just that one though. It's killing the families as well as the accusers of Daniel - I know that was common for the time of the story, but it triggers the hell out of me reading it* (well, reading @thoughtful's description of Gary reading it). I don't think that was ever covered when I was in church, it stopped at the Daniel was freed part, because cultural norms have changed a lot and executing entire families for the crimes of one member is generally not done any more in Western societies.

*also why I can't read Greek or Roman histories, or GoT - I don't deal well with this any more.

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