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Bro Gary Hawkins 18: Bro In My State...State of the Bro


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Things that never happened:

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David Grace's stuff about Jack Black, and didn't. He's repeated the story several times - this is one version:

 

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Gary's post, and the answers from Jerry and Charles, are all gone.

Maybe Gary will get Becky to understand what he was asking, and write it in actual sentences.

Meanwhile, the KJV fight goes on without Gary. This starts under Robert Currie's comment saying that God has inspired scholars to provide more readable translations:

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1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

["Right divide" is] a reference to 2 Timothy 2:15, and I think it's only worded this way in the KJV, not other translations:

 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Trivia: This is where the AWANA program gets its name: Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed. (Anyone else here that grew up in AWANA?)

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

I hear KJV preachers talk about it, but I'm not sure what Gary means by it, because, Gary.

Although, now that I think of it, I suspect that how one "rightly divides" the Bible is one of those things these "we take it literally, we don't interpret, it's all clearly stated, it's God's opinion, not mine" folks argue about a lot, so I don't know what any IFB preacher really means by it.

Does anybody here know more about the history of this?

I'm not a biblical scholar or theologian... but in my experience this is one of the many things where different Christians approach it differently.

In the more intellectual churches I was in, they always said it was a good thing to be like the Bereans in Acts 17, "examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so". They were more at ease with uncertainty on lesser doctrines like adult vs. child baptism, or pre-/post-tribulation; "this is what we believe, but we don't think believing something else means you're not saved".

In the more fundie churches (SBC, IFB, etc.), OTOH, the motto I always heard was: "The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it." The meta-teaching was that the Bible was always absolutely clear and there was only one interpretation... which you got from the pastor. If you want to know the truth, just read the Bible, that's all you need. Bible says to be modest, pastor says that means women don't wear pants, end of story. Other so-called churches with a different view were wrong... and probably weren't actual saved Christians.

So yeah, the context (Gary) matters here.

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18 minutes ago, Antipatriarch said:

Trivia: This is where the AWANA program gets its name: Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed. (Anyone else here that grew up in AWANA?)

I never knew that!  Thanks!  The IFB school I attended for a year (a low budget feeder school for Bob Jones) had some kids from the church who did AWANA, but the church I went to (Reformed), didn't.  The really "bad" boys at school would say, "AWANA BJU" and then laugh and swear they were talking about youth group.*  That and an occasional muttered, "Funk and Wagnalls" was pretty much the extent of any swearing that I heard, though, lol.

*(whispers) I didn't know what they meant until later, when I was a sophomore in high school.

Edited by forgetmenow
riffles
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4 hours ago, forgetmenow said:

*(whispers) I didn't know what they meant until later, when I was a sophomore in high school.

Oh man, that was me. So sheltered; so much of what the school kids laughed about went right by me.

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1 hour ago, Antipatriarch said:

Oh man, that was me. So sheltered; so much of what the school kids laughed about went right by me.

We had a Dodge Caravan with wood paneling and I did wonder why they kept asking me if I "had a woody."  Again, years passed...

The boys weren't terrible, they were just adolescent boys, but a lot of my early "smut" knowledge was due to girls pooling info when we realized why boys were laughing, lol.  (My mom shared all the real, anatomical knowledge, but not so much with the slang.) 

Edited by forgetmenow
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George Burkinshaw has posted on Gary's Facebook. Such a drama queen!

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Actually, since he feels so persecuted, this would be a better cartoon (after all, the fish was committing suicide voluntarily):

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image.png.864b714864db7758ba29bc7e0f821bb6.png

 

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Why is it called Facebook jail and not a Facebook vacation?

Think of how many hours you save for relaxation.

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Gary is a redundant repetitive redundant guy. Also, he makes no sense, and breaks irony meters, picking fights then complaining about other people fighting.

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32 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary is a redundant repetitive redundant guy. Also, he makes no sense, and breaks irony meters, picking fights then complaining about other people fighting.

  Hide contents

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Gary. There's a log in your eye, did you know?

Also Baptist isn't a religion, it's a denomination. It's pretty rich that he literally JUST had a huge long argument about whether the specific Bible translation you use matters, but he thinks other people are the ones who can't agree to disagree. 

Plow your own row, Gary. You might see that Jesus doesn't care much about Bible translations and whether you're dunked or sprinkled. That's the small stuff. 

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31 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Plow your own row, Gary. You might see that Jesus doesn't care much about Bible translations and whether you're dunked or sprinkled. That's the small stuff. 

of course Jesus was legalistic (the small stuff)! Remember when he obeyed the rules and didn't perform miracles on the sabbath...oh wait that isn't right. And the time he didn't talk to the Samaritan woman who had been married numerous times and shacking up with a man...oh wait he talked to her and she became a believer... Oh, I have it! Remember when he told Martha and Mary their place was in the kitchen... oh wait it is almost like the KJV believers that Gary is so proud of haven't read anything Jesus said or did. 

And I applaud all of you that read Gary all the time. I only come by sometimes because a lot of the time I cannot decipher his word salad. 

Edited by quiversR4hunting
shacking not shaking but they were probably shaking the cot too.. ;)
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4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary is a redundant repetitive redundant guy. Also, he makes no sense, and breaks irony meters, picking fights then complaining about other people fighting.

  Hide contents

image.png.d4bc1027d89157c19eb28746a21418fd.png

Does he think non-denominational means not-Baptist?

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Gary got some meaningless answers to his meaningless post:

Spoiler

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image.png.37b31d684a31b1e320e99fce94da7331.pngI

I figure he hasn't seen Luther's post yet, or he'd be on it like a swooping raptor of stupidity.

And, for the first time in a month, Becky has posted. It's a video to sell the Tupperware frozen water bottle.

She tells us that tomorrow is the last day of July (I guess Tupperware is on a different calendar than the rest of us) and all of the July sales will be gone.

They are "home" (Germanton, NC, I assume), walking in a park, and will be leaving for Newark Ohio for a Sunday-Friday tent meeting, then on to Pennsylvania for another tent meeting.

She says it's been exciting what the Lord has been doing - two people got saved over the summer, and six people have signed up under her to sell Tupperware.

 

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1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

She says it's been exciting what the Lord has been doing - two people got saved over the summer, and six people have signed up under her to sell Tupperware.

So 3x as many people signed up for Tupperware than got saved?  Sounds like something to celebrate!

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So, life-sucking, predatory MLM, or life-sucking, predatory religion. What a choice ?

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‘On it like a swooping raptor of stupidity’. Lol. Snorted in my coffee this morning. Thanks for that!

Edited by EyesOpen
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4 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

‘On it like a swooping raptor of stupidity’. Lol. Snorted in my coffee this morning. Thanks for that!

Sorry about the coffee nostrils.

Interestingly, Gary gave that comment a "like." :confusion-shrug: I thought the mere mention of Pentecostal Holiness churches would send him into a tizzy of meanness.

More comments under that post:

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12 hours ago, Jasmar said:

So, life-sucking, predatory MLM, or life-sucking, predatory religion. What a choice ?

But at least there's a use for all those plastic containers.

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15 hours ago, Dana723 said:

So 3x as many people signed up for Tupperware than got saved?  Sounds like something to celebrate!

Sounds like maybe Becky ought to be the one preaching.

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27 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:
  Reveal hidden contents

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For Gary's friend Jeffrey, here's a list of all of the different Baptist denominations in the world, most (if not all) of which believe members of all the other denominations are heretic scum. Infighting? Schisms? No, Baptists just take their ball and create a new playing field.

Heck, I've heard of whole new Baptist churches being started because one group disagreed with the new carpet color chosen for the sanctuary. 

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1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

Sounds like maybe Becky ought to be the one preaching.

She does seem to be a great deal smarter than Gary.

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1 hour ago, Dana723 said:

She does seem to be a great deal smarter than Gary.

He always says if people could hear her preach, they'd replace him with her.

An easy compliment to give, since those churches don't allow women to preach, but it may well be true.

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4 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Heck, I've heard of whole new Baptist churches being started because one group disagreed with the new carpet color chosen for the sanctuary. 

I've heard of the same thing happening over central A/C and carrying insurance on the church building (not trusting in God, y'know)

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