Bro Gary Hawkins 18: Bro In My State...State of the Bro

[AmazonGrace]

Ok folks do you have faith in Gary? 

Based on that exchange, Gary doesn't really believe that God's word is in the KJB. Rather he thinks that God's word is whatever Gary said. 

"read my post carefully", he expects people to believe him without providing  any proof or evidence.  

 

[thoughtful]

They continue to argue, as if Gary is actually capable of understanding any of what they say. Never mind faith in God, that is some strong and unrealistic faith!

He even fights with people who are agreeing with him.

Spoiler

 

Some of the KJV argument ended up in the main thread. Gary has study it out.

Spoiler

And one interesting note - guess these folks have to forsake gathering themselves together:

Spoiler

The service at Wayside has started. Since Gary has been quoting Robby Roberson's "if you're on time for church, you're an hour late" crap lately, I figure he was sitting in the pews there already, having this argument.

ETA - which may mean he was on his phone, possibly growling, during Sunday school!

Edited July 25, 2021 by thoughtful

[Dana723]

What gets me is that Gary says the KJV is written on a 6th-9th grade level, and he still can't read or understand it!

[smittykins]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

if you're on time for church, you're an hour late"

What is that supposed to mean?  Genuinely curious.

[Maggie Mae]

49 minutes ago, smittykins said:

What is that supposed to mean?  Genuinely curious.

I imagine he just took the popular saying "on time is late, five minutes early is on time" to the next level. But what are you supposed to DO in church for an hour before the service starts? What a waste of time. 

 

[postscript]

He describes the King James Version as given for the people of today and “not a book that has to change with the times.” That’s actually the genius of most religious and political texts, including the Bible. They were written for a specific moment in history, but are flexible enough to be reinterpreted for situations the original writers/translators could never have dreamed of (see the US Constitution). 

[thoughtful]

There is a comment under the video from today's service:

I like the fact that someone is calling Gary out, but Ricky seems to be even more conspiracy-addled than Gary and most of his buddies:

https://www.facebook.com/godtrew.menliars?comment_id=Y29tbWVudDo1ODU5Njg3MjY0MDcyNzQ2XzU4NTk4MzMzOTQwNTgxMzM%3D

There is a very annoying buzzing sound on the video, so I skip to the point where it stops. A group of three women are singing - not bad, three-part harmony country gospel. And, as the pastor (?) starts speaking, the buzzing comes back.

Gary comes up and starts talking, but we hear silence. I've been watching on the church's site, because Gary's video didn't start until after the service was in progress for a while (maybe he was distracted ? ). I switch over, and there is sound on Gary's.

After a short greeting, and a complaint about the heat down south and God punishing him by sending him there, Gary announces Daniel 2, does his joke about how Becky would be a better preacher than he is if women were allowed to preach, and tells the story of the man who got saved in Georgia last week. Here are some excerpts:

"Talk 'bout gittin' excahted, we uh, was down in Georgia last week, an' ah got in a coupla days early 'cause they have the mission quarters."

Careful, Gary - you're getting dangerously close to being honest.

"We was gonna preach there on Wedndesday naht, and uh, we pulled in, preacher pulled in raht after us, an' then, uh, after that, this gah pulled in. And uh, he had had a - they had a - had a bad accident uh, back in January, he lost his wife in a wreck. And, uh, he was lookin' for a church, amen?"

After some more blather, including the fact that the man said he was saved, he tells us that, after the Wednesday night service, a lady said the Lord just impressed on her to ask him about his soul.  His answer was "Ah said a prayer a time or two."

Well, we all know that won't cut it. She got the preacher to talk to him, and, as Gary puts it, "he got gloriously saved amen. And ya say 'What happened?' Ah got excited. You say wha? If they gonna git excited in Heaven, ah'm gonna get excited here on this sahd amen? You say wha? Another one exscaped Hell amen."

Again, he announces Daniel 2, then comments "They said they have watermelon after church thank God ah'm ohn mah diet again amen."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel+2%3A18-28&version=KJV

Oh, goody - a whole new reading for Gary to destroy! Very few of the verses are exactly as written, of course, from Mr. KJV-is-perfect. Some of the more egregious errors are below.

KJV: And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:
Bro Gary Version: And he changed the times and the. Seasons he removed kings, and set up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them who - that know - wisdom to them - knowledge to them that know understanding:

What did He give to you, Gary?

KJV: Therefore Daniel went in unto Arioch
BGV: Therefore Daniel went in unto  - Erih-chum

KJV: Then Arioch brought in Daniel before the king in haste, and said thus unto him, I have found a man of the captives of Judah, that will make known unto the king the interpretation.
BGV: An' ah'm not gonna mess up that man's name again amen an' brought him in - brought Daniel before the king. In have, and said thus unto him, I have found a man of the capvity of Judah, that will make known unto  me the king's interpretation.

KJV: The king answered and said to Daniel, whose name was Belteshazzar
BGV: Then a king answered and said to Daniel, whose name was Bellshazzr?

KJV: The secret which the king hath demanded cannot the wise men, the astrologers, the magicians, the soothsayers, shew unto the king
BGV: The see - the secret which the king hath demanded cannot the wise men, the stahnishers, the masterulls, the soothsayers, shew unto the king

So, a whole new reading. Of course, a fresh new message will follow.

Right?

Well, so he claims - he says he was reading it the other day, and "got to verse 8, and the Lord just uh - struck somethin' on me there." Gary, you didn't read verse 8. He reads the beginning of verse 28, and goes on about secrets, as the swinging camera stuff starts again.

"There's a lotta people got secrets we don't know about amen? There's a lotta secrets goin' ohn, listen in our Baptist churches, that you just wouldn't think ohn, ah mean you think about what's goin' ohn in the White House, what's goin' ohn in our world, what's goin' ohn in our churches, ahwahnna say with the help of the Lord just for a little bit, ahwahnna preach ohn the - The Secret is Out."

Gary, I don't think those are the kinds of secrets the passage in Daniel was referring to.

"Ah'm just sayin' today, ya think about the secrets, listen hey, there was an interpretation. Listen, ahwahnna tell ya what, we can interpretate some things, amen?"

And a barrage of familiar Garyshit follows. So far, nothing new. Also, nothing that actually relates to the long reading.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Kings+17%3A14-16&version=KJV

Gary yells about the upcoming food shortage, that may or may not happen, but God will provide.  He yells at them about not worrying, and (jokingly, but it's not such a joke, for him) says that anyone with a car that never has any issues should get one that does, because it will "he'p you have a whole lotta faith, amen."

"Caleb asked where we was at, an' ah told him ah said, 'Well, we're trahin' t'make it from West Virginia back t'North Carolahna, but ah'm not sure mah vehicle wants to leave West Virginia,' and ah haven't figured out wha anybody would have anything good to say in West Virginia ah think that's the reason mah wahf left amen!"

I think he was expecting a laugh. There's a silence, punctuated only by a few quiet  female voices that I think are saying "My!" and "What?"

He says Caleb's girlfriend was worried about him, but God's got this, complains about not getting Amens, then says "If the wicked can preach, they can say 'amen,' amen?"

That gets a laugh. Go figure.

He announces Luke 8:34, starts reading Luke 7:34, then says it's Luke 8:14. He misreads most of verses 14-16:

KJV: And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection.
But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.
No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel,
BGV: And that which fell among thorns an' - are they, which, when they heard go forth, and are choked. The cars - the cares of the riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to the perfection. But, that on the good ground are they, which are - which is an honest and good heart, having heard the  words and keep, and bring forth fruit with patience. No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel, and that's not what ah wanted, amen.

Among his mumbling, he says "Ah gotta learn how to write. Ah went to White Plains School, so it ________ (couldn't catch it)."

He finally reads the correct verses. Well, sort of.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+8%3A34-35&version=KJV

KJV: When they that fed them saw what was done, they fled, and went and told it in the city and in the country. Then they went out to see what was done; and came to Jesus, and found the man, out of whom the devils were departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.
BGV:  When they had fed them  - sa - when they had fed, and saw what was done, they fed and went and told it in the city and in the country then they went out to see what was done; and came in Je - and came to Jesus, and found the man out of whom the devils were. Departed sitting in, in his feet,  ah - feet of Jesus, clothed, and in his right mind: and they was afraid.

He does his usual stuff about how, after you're saved, you feel changed, and should let it show, how he doesn't like to go to funeral homes because "that's where the dead people hang out," and having "something as big as Jesus inside of you" should show, just like being pregnant.

He talks about his Facebook post this morning. "All ah done this mornin was posted on Facebook 'How many people are gonna fahnd 'em a King James only Bahble believin' church?' and ah got criticahzed."

Well, no, Gary - first you got a friendly answer from someone who is open to another translation, you were nasty and exclusive and arrogant, then you got some pushback, which was still very polite.

He goes on: "That's nothin' surprahsin' ta me. Who woulda ever thought that we woulda ever have a problem with the King James Bahble?"

Make up your mind, Gary.

"An' then one of the first gahs that said somethin' to me, hey! When they say somethin' lahk that ah go check 'em out, ah wanna find out who they are. See ah got about 5000 critics, ah don't got friends, amen. An' ah found out this gah was goin' t'some college - an' ah know the pastor - ah know the gah that on the pres - the president over the college, an' he's the one that was condemin' the King James Bahble, an' ah thought 'Wellll, welllll, wellll.'"

He never explains what that was about, but veers off onto his usual rant about not being against education, except for all the ways that he is, how the Bible colleges are teaching wrong, Carl Lackey naming the sin and the sinner (don't ask me what that has to do with college), then returns to how change is good.

"Change! Make a difference! Ah'mgonnatellya raht now - ah ain't changin' on the Bahble."

He asks if he is making sense, and gets lots of yells of assent.

He does one of his "Ah gotta hurry up, it's almost twelve o'clock" riffs, then tells them to blame it on the singers.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+14%3A16-21&version=KJV

He gets most of this right. "Nowahwahnna say, the secret's out - Jesus fed that many people with that many fish, that many loavesa bread."

Old stuff follows - how God provided, even when they had "all seven children" with them, by having other people take them out to places where Gary couldn't have afforded to eat by himself.

He adds that their hosts made the mistake of saying "'Get whatever you want.' Mah children looked for the expensivest thing they could fahnd, amen."

Last days, per'lis tahms, hard tahms, the devil never sleeps,

What's wrong with churches today is "we got a lotta educated fools. Ah know you don't supposedta use language lahk that today, that's OK - ah'm willin' to go to jail for mah stand amen."

Gary, I don't think anyone will imprison you for saying "educated fools."

His anti-contemporary church routine follows, and how he wants to make Jesus famous, not himself.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+16%3A13-16&version=KJV

Have I ever mentioned that Gary never fails to rattle off "Caesarea Philippi" perfectly? Somebody must have taught him that one when he was little.

Denying God being real is an old problem. Back in the days of Noah, the people around him rejected and denied Jesus.

He does the "no such thing as an atheist" crap (proof - when they get in trouble, the first thing they say is "Oh, God.").

He's back to the man who got saved last week. "It's hardly ever you hear of an older man gittin' saved, but ah'm gonna put his age somewhere between 65 and 75, an' he said he got borned agin."

Then he just goes off into full screaming and dancing mode - the content is old crap he's said a million times, about trusting God, who isn't worried.

Spoiler

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+5%3A18-20&version=KJV

KJV: And, behold, men brought in a bed a man which was taken with a palsy:
BGV: And, behold, men brought in a bed. In a bed a man which was taken with  palsy:

KJV: they went upon the housetop, and let him down through the tiling with his couch into the midst before Jesus.
BGV: they went out - they went they went upon the housetop, and let uh - let down through the ta - tilings which - with the couch into the midst. For Jesus.

How's your faith this morning? Gary knows people don't believe any more. And he hates paying three dollar a gallon for gas, but "mah God ain't broke," and "Joe Biden is not the president of the Unahted States. HAYMUN!" he's trying to destroy America, and Gary wants to see how many people will bow down to the government.

Jesus said "Give seizure what belongs t'seizure, an' give God what belongs t'God."

He rattles off his misremembered history of not missing any services during the pandemic, his brave law-breaking, and his riff about how he has always washed his hands after using the toilet - haven't heard that one in a while. I guess he was reminded of it, because, as he tells them in a hushed voice, he "walked into a store the other day, and walked out, and there was a man that used the bathroom and never washed his hands." Suddenly screaming: "SICK!"

He starts to do his bit about wanting "It was real to him" on his tombstone, gets distracted by talking about mission boards in churches and how he challenged people on Facebook about where they spend their money instead of missions, then returns to the tombstone and how Becky had better spend the insurance money on it.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+24%3A5-6&version=KJV

"Did you know God's not dead?"

More of the usual stuff about how saved people should be happy, and not listen to the media, churches closing, his burden for America, bad churches, I Love Lucy.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+19%3A1-10&version=KJV

He reads verses 1-6, then tells them to skip to 10, to save time.

The secret's out - God's still saving people.

He ends really weirdly  - I had to check to make sure the video didn't skip, but it didn't. He's talking about how the devil is after the young people, and says "you better keep a tight - you better keep a tight round ohn 'em, amen. Ya say wha? It's reallord, ah thank you . . . " and he's off into his post-message prayer, grabs his stuff and runs off.

I don't know if someone was giving him "shut up already" looks or gestures from the congregation, or if he had a sudden urge to do something that would require washing his hands afterward, but it was the most abrupt ending I've ever seen from him.

Maybe I need some stahnishers and masterulls to interpretate if for me.

Edited July 25, 2021 by thoughtful
fixing spoiler

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, smittykins said:

What is that supposed to mean?  Genuinely curious.

I figure it was just Roberson's way of saying he wanted people to come to church an hour before services. I assume to fellowship, do some work for the church, put money into whatever boxes they had out, read the missions board and decide to give even more, etc.

Gary removed the comment under the video from the guy who accused him of pride for yelling.

The fight over KJV-only churches resumed on Facebook, after church (and, I assume, watermelon):

Spoiler

Honest bunch, aren't they? I think two of those were supposed to be private, Alex/Larry. Oops.

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

Oh, good - now they're on to the subject of cell phones instead of books. I think Don may have surpassed Gary for gobbledeegook.

Spoiler

Gary's in church again - I wonder if he will get petulant with Wayne when he is done.

 

Edited July 25, 2021 by thoughtful
fixin spoiler

[postscript]

Doesn't Gary occasionally use his cell phone to read Bible verses?  And doesn't he stream his car sermons from his phone?  Or was I just imagining him dropping his phone on the floor just as he was beginning to speak?  

Wayne's own history is a bit flawed.  It wasn't King James who wanted to get divorced, it was Henry VIII, 90 years before. King James was married and produced heirs, but may have preferred the company of men. 

Like all of Gary's theological debates, this fight, with its poor grammar and spelling (legoliced?), feels like it's being conducted on a middle school playground.  These inevitably end with Gary telling at least one person they aren't friends any more before stomping away, clutching his toys.  

Edited July 26, 2021 by postscript
Typos.

[thoughtful]

42 minutes ago, postscript said:

Doesn't Gary occasionally use his cell phone to read Bible verses? 

Never. He's got a real bug up his ass about that. Someone once tried to argue with him on Facebook, pointing out that it's just a modern way to read, and, IIRC, trying to get him to see that his bias against seeing the words he loves so much on a screen instead of a page is like someone refusing to use a Bible that wasn't leather-bound.

He does use the phone for his videos.

But that's OK.

Because Gary says so.

Well, Gary dealt with Wayne's comment by deleting it.

The video from tonight's service is only five minutes long - the first minute is the pastor and Gary discussing vehicles, and the other four are some of a dirge-like hymn. We get one camera swing, showing empty pews.

 

[thoughtful]

OK, folks, I've been down another rabbit hole. I looked at the Facebook page of one of Gary's commenters again. This guy seems to spend much of his time trying to find celebrities to Godbother.

Ron Howard:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4156475317766312&id=100002116549529

Kevin Bacon:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4121756414571536&id=100002116549529

Doc Severinson:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4118701758210335&id=100002116549529

Henry Winkler:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2663863607027498&id=100002116549529

Mark Wahlberg:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1866120383468495&id=100002116549529

He knows why Adam Sandler's co-star died:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=3401681176579067&id=100002116549529

 I noticed Ricky Skaggs, Scotty McReery, Clint Eastwood, Richard Dreyfuss, Jon Stewart, Dwayne Johnson, 50 Cent, Darryl McDaniels, Jeb Bush, Burt Reynolds, Jack Black, Billy Bob Thornton, Brian Kemp, and Gene Simmons. He also has grinning pictures and pleas to pray for salvation, with lots of sports figures, both currently playing and retired.

And, he pushes Jesus at the occasional 12-year-old. ?

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4110380639042447&id=100002116549529

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4113423088738202&id=100002116549529

 

[thoughtful]

Wayne came back. I guess I should preserve this, and Robert's comment, for posterity, before Gary deletes:

Spoiler

 

[Joyster]

37 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

OK, folks, I've been down another rabbit hole. I looked at the Facebook page of one of Gary's commenters again. This guy seems to spend much of his time trying to find celebrities to Godbother.

Ron Howard:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4156475317766312&id=100002116549529

Kevin Bacon:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4121756414571536&id=100002116549529

Doc Severinson:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4118701758210335&id=100002116549529

Henry Winkler:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2663863607027498&id=100002116549529

Mark Wahlberg:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1866120383468495&id=100002116549529

He knows why Adam Sandler's co-star died:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=3401681176579067&id=100002116549529

 I noticed Ricky Skaggs, Scotty McReery, Clint Eastwood, Richard Dreyfuss, Jon Stewart, Dwayne Johnson, 50 Cent, Darryl McDaniels, Jeb Bush, Burt Reynolds, Jack Black, Billy Bob Thornton, Brian Kemp, and Gene Simmons. He also has grinning pictures and pleas to pray for salvation, with lots of sports figures, both currently playing and retired.

And, he pushes Jesus at the occasional 12-year-old. ?

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4110380639042447&id=100002116549529

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4113423088738202&id=100002116549529

 

Wow!  I didn't know how to react.  How does he meet so many famous people?  It's like a click through tour of the Hollywood Lost Souls to Godbother and be Saved.  Instead of visiting Hollywood homes of the rich and famous, you can visit the heathen souls and hear how he witnesses.

And posting pictures of kids is beyond creepy.  He does appear to listen to what the kids and others tell him, which is not always a fundie trait.  

I thought this comment under Kevin Bacon was funny:  Yes he , his wife and kids needs our prayers for salvation. But he does have a great popcorn recipe named after him Kevin Bacon Popcorn.  It's like the popcorn recipe almost makes up for his lost salvation.

[thoughtful]

Someone else has challenged Mary on the vaccine thread. She needs scriptural proof that vaccines are OK. ?

Spoiler

 

10 hours ago, Joyster said:

How does he meet so many famous people? 

I think he works pretty hard at it. He goes all over the country, and it looks like he goes to book-signing events, concerts, conventions, movie sets, hotels, tourist areas, etc. He's an avid sports fan, and goes to lots of sports-related events - in fact, the vast majority of his posts are about people in sports. He hangs out at Stone Mountain with signs and a cross, since he lives near there.

Of course, he has several "I prayed for a chance to witness to ____________ (insert name of celeb here), and three days later, I saw him coming out of a store . . . " stories.

11 hours ago, Joyster said:

He does appear to listen to what the kids and others tell him, which is not always a fundie trait.  

He also appears to be pretty pleasant, but that adds to the creepy factor, to me, especially when he talks to kids. The listening is just to find a hook to get in and tell them he has The One True Answer.

If he gets a comment like "thank God for _______ (celeb)'s testimony" when he has witnessed to someone and the commenter misreads, he is careful to make sure the commenter knows the person is not saved. I can't remember who it was now, but he made sure to tell someone that a celebrity was still Catholic, and so was depending on works to get her to Heaven.

Here are some more. In order, Billy Crystal, Kiefer Sutherland, two posts about Jon Stewart (he often re-posts, on the celeb's birthday, a holiday or anniversary of an event, or just because he feels like it), Christopher Lloyd, Gladys Knight, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, one of his "I prayed and then I met them!" posts, and a post about Steve Martin and Martin Short. The comments are sometimes nice, sometimes chilling.

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2652768661470326&id=100002116549529

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2646435408770318&id=100002116549529&substory_index=0

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2585869301493596&id=100002116549529

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2287351974678665&id=100002116549529&substory_index=0

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2229433100470553&id=100002116549529

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2217613671652496&id=100002116549529

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2172814889465708&id=100002116549529

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2142157882531409&id=100002116549529

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2037101959703669&id=100002116549529

He also crossposts stuff from another give-a-tract-to-a-celebrity hound (I wonder if they are also autograph hounds).

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1881141565299710&id=100002116549529

 

[postscript]

I expect most of these celebrities are accustomed to the occasional loony accosting them and demanding if they know where they’re going when they die. However, his photo ops for Jesus are disrespectful of the celebrities’ privacy, especially those who are practicing Jews or Muslims. I doubt I’d be as gracious as most of these people if this guy approached me waving a tract. 

[Alisamer]

20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Back in the days of Noah, the people around him rejected and denied Jesus.

Wait, what? 

OK, I kind of get it as a 3-in-one trinity thing God=Jesus=Holy Spirit, but... Noah was before Jesus' time. And I kind of doubt Gary means God, here, he's just addled. 

I don't get how people as stupid as Gary and most of his Facebook followers manage to live long enough to reproduce. 

How old are Becky's kids? I hope their dads are making sure they're properly educated and don't end up hateful bigots. 

What's strange also to me is that Becky reminds me a lot of many women I know - really nice, kind people, until you read their Facebook and are shocked. Be better, Becky. 

If Becky ditched Gary he'd be up a creek within a month or less. 

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

Wait, what? 

OK, I kind of get it as a 3-in-one trinity thing God=Jesus=Holy Spirit, but... Noah was before Jesus' time. And I kind of doubt Gary means God, here, he's just addled. 

He does this all the time. Besides the Noah story, Gary interprets this, from the story of Shadrach Meshach and Abednego in the furnace:

Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God

to mean that Jesus was in there with them.

I don't think it's limited to Gary, though - I think a lot of Christians believe Jesus always existed.

Of course, believing that, somehow, people who lived before 1 BCE should have known about and believed in Jesus, and were punished for rejecting Him, may be a Garyism, or at least an IFB-ism.

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

If Becky ditched Gary he'd be up a creek within a month or less. 

A day or two, more likely. And he does admit that he couldn't function without her - one of his few teeny glimmers of self-knowledge and appreciation of others.

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

How old are Becky's kids?

I think two young adults and two teens at this point, but I'm not sure.

[thoughtful]

And another irony meter bites the dust.

I think.

[AmazonGrace]

I don't get right divide

[thoughtful]

1 minute ago, AmazonGrace said:

I don't get right divide

It's a reference to 2 Timothy 2:15, and I think it's only worded this way in the KJV, not other translations:

 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

I hear KJV preachers talk about it, but I'm not sure what Gary means by it, because, Gary.

Although, now that I think of it, I suspect that how one "rightly divides" the Bible is one of those things these "we take it literally, we don't interpret, it's all clearly stated, it's God's opinion, not mine" folks argue about a lot, so I don't know what any IFB preacher really means by it.

Does anybody here know more about the history of this?

And . . . he's already fighting with Jerry Lavender.

Gary, if you wrote and spoke in something remotely resembling English, it would be much easier for everyone.

[Xan]

13 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

It's a reference to 2 Timothy 2:15, and I think it's only worded this way in the KJV, not other translations:

 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

I hear KJV preachers talk about it, but I'm not sure what Gary means by it, because, Gary.

Although, now that I think of it, I suspect that how one "rightly divides" the Bible is one of those things these "we take it literally, we don't interpret, it's all clearly stated, it's God's opinion, not mine" folks argue about a lot, so I don't know what any IFB preacher really means by it.

It appears that the Aramaic translation is roughly "being able to rightly or correctly handle the word of truth".  The later Greek translation was "a workman, not ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth."  I would guess that Gary would have something to say about God wanting him to divide out God's opinion for everyone because Gary is a virtual idiot.

[postscript]

Gary? Study? Open mind? Hahahahaha. . .all right, done laughing hysterically. He really has no idea that “end of discussion” signals the opposite of an open mind, does he? 

[AmazonGrace]

This is so perfect. If Gary was any less self-aware he'd be furniture.

[thoughtful]

OK, we've got a definitive answer that clears everything up:

Spoiler

I kid, I kid.

While I'm here, I just realized I meant to post David Grace's stuff about Jack Black, and didn't. He's repeated the story several times - this is one version:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2657041061043086&id=100002116549529

Also, Jerry Seinfeld:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2654959437917915&id=100002116549529