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Top 10 WTF Moments in Maxhell


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On 6/4/2021 at 2:14 AM, FloraDoraDolly said:

Let's not forget the incident where Steve got angry because the orthodontist reminded Mary (who was about 9 or 10 at the time) that "it's your mouth" when they were discussing her palate expander.

Wasn't that Teri? I think it was in a Mom's Corner when Mary was 13 or 14.

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I could easily live off of mashed potatoes.

And ketchup is its own food group.

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I can’t believe no one has mentioned Steve deciding to reverse his vasectomy without consulting Teri. That’s the worst one of all in my opinion. 

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50 minutes ago, Bethella said:

I can’t believe no one has mentioned Steve deciding to reverse his vasectomy without consulting Teri. That’s the worst one of all in my opinion. 

So a totally unilateral decision?  Did he have the reversal surgery without telling Teri?

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23 hours ago, Howl said:

It was a very, very long time before I realized this was "IT On Ramp" -- an introduction to computers and the internet -- and not "One Ton Ramp." 

Wait WHAT?

I didn’t know that. It was always so confusing, but so many things about these people are, I just added it to the mental pile of stuff I don’t understand.

I get it now! Internet Technology! on ramp! Like a highway ramp! It’s supposed to be clever! 

(As an old teacher of mine used to say, light dawns on Marblehead.)

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1 hour ago, Bethella said:

I can’t believe no one has mentioned Steve deciding to reverse his vasectomy without consulting Teri. That’s the worst one of all in my opinion. 

I didn't know that. If I did, I blocked it out because it is totally f*cking horrible. I mean, of course I knew he had a reversal - the whole world knows he had that done. But that Teri didn't know - that's sick. 

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1 hour ago, Bethella said:

I can’t believe no one has mentioned Steve deciding to reverse his vasectomy without consulting Teri. That’s the worst one of all in my opinion. 

WTF? All while Teri was battling depression and could barely handle the kids they already had? I have no words.

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Steve consulted Teri's father about the reversal, not her. That's another one.

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6 hours ago, Howl said:

So a totally unilateral decision?  Did he have the reversal surgery without telling Teri?

 

5 hours ago, fundiefan said:

I didn't know that. If I did, I blocked it out because it is totally f*cking horrible. I mean, of course I knew he had a reversal - the whole world knows he had that done. But that Teri didn't know - that's sick. 

As @anjulibaisaid, Steve consulted Teri’s father not her. I’m pretty sure she knew before it happened but it sounds like she didn’t have any say in the decision. 

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There’s so very, very much WTFery when it comes to the Maxwells but there are a few things that always gnaw at me.

One is a Thanksgiving post where Anna said “I know I deserve hell” but was grateful Jesus paid her sin debt for her. What a horrible thing to be brought up to believe. 

Another is a Mom’s Corner, I think, where Teri talked about being in horrible pain because of her ongoing back problems, but decided it was better to suck it up and pretend everything was okay rather than ask for help because she didn’t want the family to be distressed over her condition. 

And then there was Steve deciding that Little League was of the devil and bursting into tears when “asking” his sons if they would agree to give it up, which of course they did—totally voluntarily. 🙄 I’ve only seen my dad cry once (when his mom and my mother’s dad died within days of each other—it was a crappy time for our family in general and that was just the last straw) and it broke my heart. The idea that Steve would be so manipulative that he thought nothing of traumatizing his kids as a means to an end just horrifies me.

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14 minutes ago, sparkles said:

There’s so very, very much WTFery when it comes to the Maxwells but there are a few things that always gnaw at me.

One is a Thanksgiving post where Anna said “I know I deserve hell” but was grateful Jesus paid her sin debt for her. What a horrible thing to be brought up to believe. 

Another is a Mom’s Corner, I think, where Teri talked about being in horrible pain because of her ongoing back problems, but decided it was better to suck it up and pretend everything was okay rather than ask for help because she didn’t want the family to be distressed over her condition. 

And then there was Steve deciding that Little League was of the devil and bursting into tears when “asking” his sons if they would agree to give it up, which of course they did—totally voluntarily. 🙄 I’ve only seen my dad cry once (when his mom and my mother’s dad died within days of each other—it was a crappy time for our family in general and that was just the last straw) and it broke my heart. The idea that Steve would be so manipulative that he thought nothing of traumatizing his kids as a means to an end just horrifies me.

Steve has traumatized his entire family ever since he found Jesus and decided he had a direct line to his god and what his god wants. 

The mental gymnastics they all live with every single day has got to be physically painful. Or, would be, if they allowed themselves to see their lives and the blatant manipulations. 

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On 6/4/2021 at 6:33 PM, Howl said:

It was a very, very long time before I realized this was "IT On Ramp" -- an introduction to computers and the internet -- and not "One Ton Ramp." 

I knew it was “IT On Ramp,” but have always called it One Ton Ramp out of spite, especially because Stevehovah took the time to remind us of its correct name on their blog.

(It also pisses me off that the blog used to up on search engines as “Official Titus 2 family blog,” as if Stevehovah was the only person with the right to use that part of the Bible.)

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On 6/5/2021 at 11:34 PM, Bethella said:

 

As @anjulibaisaid, Steve consulted Teri’s father not her. I’m pretty sure she knew before it happened but it sounds like she didn’t have any say in the decision. 

Oh no. Just no. It's her body that's gonna bear all these new kids, not her father's!

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Posted (edited)
On 6/4/2021 at 9:09 PM, PennySycamore said:

@HerNameIsBuffy, is fetish the word  you were looking for with fundies and their sex lives?

When I'm gone I want to be remembered as the person who made our beloved Penny ask this question!  😂

And now I have to scroll back and see what I said.

ETA no, I think a fetish is different...like a specific thing you need to ...have optimum enjoyment.  (look at me being all demure for a change.)

You know how movies and music have genres?  I was thinking kinks are kind of like that....category was the word I was looking for.  

Edited by HerNameIsBuffy
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On 6/5/2021 at 3:01 PM, smittykins said:

I could easily live off of mashed potatoes.

And ketchup is its own food group.

I could, too.

Maxwell Thanksgiving:  Five pounds of potatoes for mashed potatoes for 25 people.  True story.

Also:  The report on Nathan & Melanie's wedding included the interesting and relevant detail of how Mel ate yogurt in the car as they went from the church to the reception.

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On 6/5/2021 at 6:34 PM, anjulibai said:

Steve consulted Teri's father about the reversal, not her. That's another one.

This is the first I am learning of this.  My father was hardly a progressive but if a husband of mine had come to him with that his response would be anger and tell him to go talk to his wife.

Then my dad would have told him what he thought about homeschooling.  And godbothering.  And asked why the hell his grandchildren were being raised on flavorless food.  And what the hell is wrong with having a drink?  And baseball?  And who the hell quits their job because they're afraid of women? 

Now I kind of wish Teri were my sister as that conversation would have gone very differently.  

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Sarah’s post about traveling alone was high up there on the list for me. Dang if it didn’t show how thoroughly she has been guided to fear the world. 

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Should we compile this into some kind of bulleted list to sticky so new people can see at a glance the level of weirdness?  

We could have a poll to vote on the top 10 if you all think it would be fun.  Just throwing it out there as I like voting on stuff.  

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2 hours ago, Rosie said:

Also:  The report on Nathan & Melanie's wedding included the interesting and relevant detail of how Mel ate yogurt in the car as they went from the church to the reception.

Oh gosh, now you reminded me of the wedding rehearsal report, where Teri tried (in detail) to describe Steve's plan to get the correct dinner and soft drink to each guest.  The plan went awry and Teri blamed it on the fact that many in the wait staff spoke Spanish. 

English is my first language and I couldn't make head or tail of Steve's plan.

I looked for the link to the report but couldn't find it.

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24 minutes ago, kpmom said:

Oh gosh, now you reminded me of the wedding rehearsal report, where Teri tried (in detail) to describe Steve's plan to get the correct dinner and soft drink to each guest.  The plan went awry and Teri blamed it on the fact that many in the wait staff spoke Spanish. 

English is my first language and I couldn't make head or tail of Steve's plan.

I looked for the link to the report but couldn't find it.

I often find myself wising I had saved the wedding "report". I read it on Wayback and can never find it again when I want to reference it. It was so many kinds of crazy it really should have been memorialized. 

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58 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I often find myself wising I had saved the wedding "report". I read it on Wayback and can never find it again when I want to reference it. It was so many kinds of crazy it really should have been memorialized. 

Which is why I included it in the top 10.

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On 6/3/2021 at 1:31 AM, Bastet said:

There are many examples of Maxwells saying of doing evil or unspeakably weird things, but what makes them stand out to me are the innocent things that show how little insight they have regarding how they come across. I’m thinking the cheese paper, the pizza wheel, and the photographic essay on cleaning ceiling fans. 

Not to forget the blog post about the revolutionary concept of... googling things!

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This was captioned "Nathan, going through the “Good Person” test." It's from the first time they handed out tracts and Pepsi at the state fair. Apparently it's OK to give away idols to non-Maxwells. 

Spoiler

IMG_9217.jpg.55c85a53d449cf2131f3e211faa4be13.jpg

I think I would just say "no" and back away slowly until I felt safe enough to run. 

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Those are some intense eyes.  I'd feel very unsettled if he stood that close to me with that look and started asking me questions about if I'm a "good person".

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You guys! You can laugh all you want about the pizza cutter thing but that is an unfulfilled promise that haunts my dreams. IT’S NOT FUNNY! Every day, I wake up and check the Maxwell blog hoping that today will be the day…the day I finally learn just how to use a pizza cutter to cut lettuce. And every day, I am heartbroken. HEARTBROKEN, I tell you!  
 

Some of us just aren’t ready to laugh yet. *sigh*

Having said that, let’s not forget about celebrating Steve’s birthday with TWO animal crackers. Also, cracker gate, wherein the boys had to sit in the car and eat crackers while the rest of the family ate inside at Taco Bell (?) And of course, bean burritos because Steve decided everybody preferred those to burritos that contain meat. 
 

I like this game. 

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