Alyssa & John 9: It’s All About Dressing Up and Looking Perfect on Instagram

[MaryOrMartha]

27 minutes ago, freethemall said:

I think Kelly Jo is okay with it since she knows that overall Alyssa is still 100% fundie - she is spitting out babies, homeschooling, reinforcing strict gender roles, going to church, supporting conservative politicians, etc. The clothes mean nothing.

But they still mean something to her, because if it didn't, she would allow her unmarried girls to dress the same way, if they choose to.

Carlin was in jeans on her way to their honeymoon. Before that, skirts only. I think that says enough about what Kelly and Gil approve of, fashion wise.

Edited June 17, 2021 by MaryOrMartha

[formergothardite]

25 minutes ago, MaryOrMartha said:

But they still mean something to her, because if it didn't, she would allow her unmarried girls to dress the same way, if they choose to.

Carlin was in jeans on her way to their honeymoon. Before that, skirts only. I think that says enough about what Kelly and Gil approve of, fashion wise.

I’m sure Kelly and Gil would prefer their adult children kept to skirts only, but in the end they do keep the hateful beliefs and that is all that really matters. I guarantee that Kelly would be much more upset if Alyssa wore skirts but supported gay rights. 
 

Pants and shorts on those little girls is acceptable as long as Alyssa is indoctrinating her children with hate. And it is clear from her post pushing her church’s political views, that is exactly what she is doing. Gil and Kelly I’m sure are happy she isn’t really leaving the fold. 

[Phyllis_Stein]

2 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

But they still mean something to her, because if it didn't, she would allow her unmarried girls to dress the same way, if they choose to.

Carlin was in jeans on her way to their honeymoon. Before that, skirts only. I think that says enough about what Kelly and Gil approve of, fashion wise.

I think it's probably a little of both. Modest clothing means a lot to Kelly, and she'd rather the kids follow suit; AND, she's also probably extremely pleased that Alyssa, for example, is forging no new ground at all except for the outer packaging. Alyssa is, as was stated, 100% fundy. 

BUT, the additional factor is that Kelly buys into the notion that the husband sets the rules once the girls are married. Authority transfers from them to the husband. If the husband allows pants, his decision is to be respected as the head of the family and decider of all things. He can delegate decision making to the wife if he wants in certain home-related areas, such as decor choices. 

[Jackie3]

Think of the time and effort that went into clothing 10(?) girls in frumpers. Michael often sewed them herself. The fabric, the fittings, the cost, all that was a considerable effort. It also took effort to find frumpers in stores or online, along with the accoutrements (gigantic bows, big collars, tights). Then there was the worry and discussions--was this shirt cut too low? Was it OK to show your knees? What about that sleeveless dress--let's go ask Gil! 

It must have been pretty important to them, if they made all that effort.

In contrast, here's Alyssa's kids stepping into comfortable play clothes. There's no discussion about whether Lexi needs an undershirt because she's wearing a shirt with a V collar. 

Alyssa's just as fundie as they are, the girls are being raised to hate, yet are dressed functionally and normally. I wonder if Kelly thinks she wasted a lot of time with those stupid modest clothes, particularly when her daughters were pre-adolescents.

[formergothardite]

I doubt they actually think about it too much. Just like I doubt they pondered the morality of pretending Gothard’s birthday cake was a groom’s cake or attempted to wipe the existence of the confederacy shrine from the Internet or those times they pretended they were at home when they were hosting cult events. The  fundie frumper phase is over, even in IBLP. No longer is it trendy to look freakish. The Bates are good at adapting and not giving a fuck about hypocrisy. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I doubt they actually think about it too much. Just like I doubt they pondered the morality of pretending Gothard’s birthday cake was a groom’s cake or attempted to wipe the existence of the confederacy shrine from the Internet or those times they pretended they were at home when they were hosting cult events. The  fundie frumper phase is over, even in IBLP. No longer is it trendy to look freakish. The Bates are good at adapting and not giving a fuck about hypocrisy. 

I have never looked at the Bateses or Duggars and thought, “what a bunch of great thinkers.” They actually seem like they try to think as little as possible. 

[formergothardite]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I have never looked at the Bateses or Duggars and thought, “what a bunch of great thinkers.” They actually seem like they try to think as little as possible. 

ITA. This is not an introspective family. I just don’t see them giving any thought to comparing the modern dress of the grandkids to the frumpers of years back. The kids are being raised to hate the correct people, why should they think anymore about the situation? These are the people who threw themselves heart and soul into supporting a foul mouthed man who is on his third marriage and paid off a porn star, and the reason for their adoration? He hates the right people. Their whole mindset is accepting those who share their hate, they don’t seem to think much deeper than that. 

[Melissa1977]

People change and not everybody thinks deeply about it. My mom wasn't allowed pants ("it's men clothing, it's ugly etc")... until my grandma realised pants were fashionable and she wanted pants for herself. That moment, pants became fine. My grandma never thought if it was ridiculous to ban pants before or not. She just changed her opinion, full stop. And that's why she never had anxiety haha.

[Mama Mia]

On 6/16/2021 at 8:45 AM, freethemall said:

They all should, adults and kids alike. 

None of them have kids that are old enough. Currently in the US the minimum age is 12, and they are having some concerns with that after reports of heart inflammation in younger teens - mostly boys - which is interesting, since young women seemed to have more blood clot type issues reported.

[MomJeans]

I actually bet Gil is not happy with how his married daughters, and granddaughters, are dressed.  Otherwise there wouldn't be a skirts & dresses rule for filming.  But, by his own toxic beliefs, husbands make the rules, so he can't really do much or say much, other than insist on a dress code for filming.  

On the other hand, I think Kelly really enjoys living vicariously through her daughter's influencer lifestyle. I'm sure she would prefer modest clothing, but it's not a deal breaker for her.  If pressed, she'd probably say "oh, I pray over it."

As I've said before, these people are all hypocrites about their beliefs anyway.  

[Lgirlrocks]

4 hours ago, MomJeans said:

I actually bet Gil is not happy with how his married daughters, and granddaughters, are dressed.  Otherwise there wouldn't be a skirts & dresses rule for filming.  But, by his own toxic beliefs, husbands make the rules, so he can't really do much or say much, other than insist on a dress code for filming.  

On the other hand, I think Kelly really enjoys living vicariously through her daughter's influencer lifestyle. I'm sure she would prefer modest clothing, but it's not a deal breaker for her.  If pressed, she'd probably say "oh, I pray over it."

As I've said before, these people are all hypocrites about their beliefs anyway.  

In the pictures shown during the past few days of Alyssa being with the family she is shown wearing jeans while Carlin is wearing a dress. I wonder if Carlin wore a dress to please her mother or if she truly wanted to. 

[0 kids n not countin]

There was a photo of Carlin with Gil captioned "Twinning It", she was wearing a white T and black sweats, he had on black pants and a white top.  I think it was in one of her instagram stories.  I'm thinking Gil wasn't thrilled...

It is in the stories on the Bates Family Instagram. 

Edited June 18, 2021 by 0 kids n not countin
Incorrectly said it was in her instagram stories.

[Mama Mia]

7 hours ago, MomJeans said:

I actually bet Gil is not happy with how his married daughters, and granddaughters, are dressed.  Otherwise there wouldn't be a skirts & dresses rule for filming.  But, by his own toxic beliefs, husbands make the rules, so he can't really do much or say much, other than insist on a dress code for filming.  

On the other hand, I think Kelly really enjoys living vicariously through her daughter's influencer lifestyle. I'm sure she would prefer modest clothing, but it's not a deal breaker for her.  If pressed, she'd probably say "oh, I pray over it."

As I've said before, these people are all hypocrites about their beliefs anyway.  

Probably like a lot of families with grown kids. You THINK you’ll have x, y and z values your child shares - since you taught it to them, and modeled it, but they grow up and do things different. There’s one of my kids I just don’t talk politics with. Period. Another I’ll talk about some things- other topics  are a big nope. It must be extra hard for fundamentalists, if you think all your rules are the difference between Heaven and hell. I wonder how the Bateseseses would react if one of their kids went faaaarrrrr off the path? 

Edited June 18, 2021 by Mama Mia

[CanadianMamam]

On 6/18/2021 at 4:05 PM, Lgirlrocks said:

In the pictures shown during the past few days of Alyssa being with the family she is shown wearing jeans while Carlin is wearing a dress. I wonder if Carlin wore a dress to please her mother or if she truly wanted to. 

I looked at her Instagram and on Memorial Day weekend when they were with Evan’s family, it looks like she mostly wore jeans, so it is possible she is dressing to please her parents when she is with them. 

[MaryOrMartha]

9 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I looked at her Instagram and on Memorial Day weekend when they were with Evan’s family, it looks like she mostly wore jeans, so it is possible she is dressing to please her parents when she is with them. 

I read somewhere they said that when they go back to the big house they are to abide by the big house rules and that means skirts only even if they wear pants in their own homes, not just for filming.

[Angelface]

Well Alyssa definitely did not adhere to this on her most recent visit. 

[clueliss]

This week’s Webster video (that I haven’t actually watched) had the tag line of Father’s Day Surprise.  Given when this posted and the fact that Instagram had her and the girls in Tennessee when the video went up, the surprise is that it wasn’t really Father’s Day.

[sparrow]

On 6/9/2021 at 1:59 PM, CanadianMamam said:

Alyssa answered on Instagram that she is closest to Katie and Carlin, which doesn't really surprise me. I think of the 3 of them as fairly similar...

Didn't she and Josie used to be super close? I thought I remembered them sharing the small bedroom as girls, because they both preferred quiet, while the rest of the sisters were all together in a larger room.  And on the episode when Alyssa was getting married, Josie was in tears. I felt so bad for her.

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by sparrow

[JermajestyDuggar]

Alyssa and Tori are only 13 months apart so you would think they would be close. But their personalities are so different that it’s not surprising. 

[Mama Mia]

2 hours ago, sparrow said:

Didn't she and Josie used to be super close? I thought I remembered them sharing the small bedroom as girls, because they both preferred quiet, while the rest of the sisters were all together in a larger room.  And on the episode when Alyssa was getting married, Josie was in tears. I felt so bad for her.

 

I’m not a big Bates follower, but I’m pretty sure it was Katie she shared a room with? I could be wrong 

[llucie]

1 hour ago, Mama Mia said:

I’m not a big Bates follower, but I’m pretty sure it was Katie she shared a room with? I could be wrong 

No, it was Josie and Alyssa. After Alyssa married and moved out Josie went back to the big girls room.

[MaryOrMartha]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Alyssa and Tori are only 13 months apart so you would think they would be close. But their personalities are so different that it’s not surprising. 

Maybe because Tori chooses to keep a low social media profile but it doesn't seem like she is close with any of her own sisters. Tori and Carlin used to be like two peas in a pod and now it seems like you couldn't be blamed for completely forgetting Tori to be a part of the family.

[Angelface]

I am delighted that Tori keeps such a low profile on social media. Perhaps it was the way that the show was edited but imho Tori was incredibly irritating and rather silly. I sincerely hope that she has grown up since she has children of her own now. 

[VineHeart137]

5 hours ago, sparrow said:

Didn't she and Josie used to be super close? I thought I remembered them sharing the small bedroom as girls, because they both preferred quiet, while the rest of the sisters were all together in a larger room.  And on the episode when Alyssa was getting married, Josie was in tears. I felt so bad for her.

 

That's correct. Alyssa was also Josie's Maid of Honor. There was also an episode of BUB in which Alyssa stated that she is pretty close to Michael but that was several years ago (I think she may have been pregnant with Lexi?)

Alyssa has mentioned that the sisters she's closest with has changed over the years, which seems like a natural occurrence as they all get married and move around. Dynamics change. Fun fact though: Alyssa is the only sister who has been a member of every other married sibling's wedding, including Zach and Whitney's.

[CanadianMamam]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Alyssa and Tori are only 13 months apart so you would think they would be close. But their personalities are so different that it’s not surprising. 

Tori and Erin seem to be the closest, because I think they are closer in personality. Erin and Alyssa don’t see remotely close and I am really curious about the relationship between them. 

1 hour ago, MaryOrMartha said:

Maybe because Tori chooses to keep a low social media profile but it doesn't seem like she is close with any of her own sisters. Tori and Carlin used to be like two peas in a pod and now it seems like you couldn't be blamed for completely forgetting Tori to be a part of the family.

Erin has referred to Tori as her closest sister. And Tori has commented on some of Erin’s Instagram posts. But yes, she does keep a very low profile comparatively. 

11 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

I read somewhere they said that when they go back to the big house they are to abide by the big house rules and that means skirts only even if they wear pants in their own homes, not just for filming.

I mean, I get this. I have relatives who have never seen me in pants and I am 38. And when I visited my MIL, I dress in dresses or nice slacks instead of the jeans and yoga pants I wear at home.