Alyssa & John 9: It’s All About Dressing Up and Looking Perfect on Instagram

[freethemall]

9 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Also, why does she label the bins with words? Most of her kids can't read. Put a picture on the bin, or tape a piece of the toy. It encourages independence, too. 

Because it's more aesthetically pleasing and thus cuter for the 'gram, duh!

I agree about not having all the toys out, this was such a game changer for us. Now we keep most in our basement including a huge lego area where a lot is mixed up because fuck if I'm sorting a million lego pieces. I do often sort the toy sets because I'm anal, but I only have 1 (hopefully 2 by the end of the week since I'm almost 40 weeks preggo) so we'll see how long that lasts.

[FrumperedCat]

I just that Alyssa's priorities are so messed up. Spending 2 hours sorting toys which her kids could probably help with vs spending that time focused on education which her kids can't really help with and in fact would gain a lot more benefit from. 

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, FrumperedCat said:

I just that Alyssa's priorities are so messed up. Spending 2 hours sorting toys which her kids could probably help with vs spending that time focused on education which her kids can't really help with and in fact would gain a lot more benefit from. 

Actually she spent several hours between sorting toys and cleaning all the house. The last picture she posted in stories, she looked tired, so I assume it was a real story. I hope the children were with John or with the in-laws and not in their rooms all the time! Specially Maci!

[JordynDarby5]

8 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

Heck, I rotate my dog's toys.

Too bad Alyssa never went to school. She would know the Clean Up song and teach the kids how to clean up. However, then she would have to interact with the kids and actually teach them so nevermind. 

That's how my parents' first taught my brother and me picking up. They made it into a game. They'd time us and we always ran around trying to beat our time. 

[Angelface]

How many more generations of SOTDRT homeschooling before the children are pretty much illiterate? I don’t think it will take very long. It is so sad and they all deserve so much more. 

[WiseGirl]

12 hours ago, JordynDarby5 said:

They'd time us and we always ran around trying to beat our time. 

I do that for myself now when I don't want to clean ?

[nelliebelle1197]

21 hours ago, freethemall said:

Because it's more aesthetically pleasing and thus cuter for the 'gram, duh!

I agree about not having all the toys out, this was such a game changer for us. Now we keep most in our basement including a huge lego area where a lot is mixed up because fuck if I'm sorting a million lego pieces. I do often sort the toy sets because I'm anal, but I only have 1 (hopefully 2 by the end of the week since I'm almost 40 weeks preggo) so we'll see how long that lasts.

Can you have your significant other log on and let us know you finally popped? Like a status update? Cause I feel like you have been pregnant two years and I need to know when it comes.

[freethemall]

2 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Can you have your significant other log on and let us know you finally popped? Like a status update? Cause I feel like you have been pregnant two years and I need to know when it comes.

Lol I also feel like I've been pregnant 2 years,  getting really impatient. Had my membrane stripped yesterday and lots of early labor stuff today,  hoping tonight's the night. 

[BeccaGrim]

My two cents...

I think Tori and Erin are the closest because they have kept their values that they were raised with very strictly.  They're both still entirely in skirts, both not on social media very much, if they do go on its to talk about Jesus.  

Tori must see some of Josie because their husbands are so close and work together. Tori also now lives on the same block with Zach and Whitney.  

When Whitney, Erin, and Carlin opened their boutique, Josie didn't do that with them. She opened her own thing and now employees Katie.  Josie and Katie are very close.  Katie had Willow the whole time Josie was in the hospital with Hazel. 

Alyssa says she is closest, right now, with Katie and Carlin and Addie.  Which would put Katie as very close with Alyssa, Josie, and Carlin (who is in her wedding.)  And Addie (Who is in her wedding.) 

The one who seems to be mostly left out is Michaella and maybe that is because she doesn't have kids? Michaella doesn't post a lot of photos of her just hanging out with her sisters. More like she and Brandon doing their own thing, day trips, and other things they have going on.  

I think Carlin and Whitney spend more time with each other than they do with Erin, who they all seem to like to have around to decorate or for Chad's help.  

That is my two cents. Worth about that much. LOL

Edited June 25, 2021 by BeccaGrim
My autocorrect kept making Carlin's name Carline.

[MaryOrMartha]

16 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

My two cents...

I think Tori and Erin are the closest because they have kept their values that they were raised with very strictly.  They're both still entirely in skirts, both not on social media very much, if they do go on its to talk about Jesus.  

Tori must see some of Josie because their husbands are so close and work together. Tori also now lives on the same block with Zach and Whitney.  

When Whitney, Erin, and Carlin opened their boutique, Josie didn't do that with them. She opened her own thing and now employees Katie.  Josie and Katie are very close.  Katie had Willow the whole time Josie was in the hospital with Hazel. 

Alyssa says she is closest, right now, with Katie and Carlin and Addie.  Which would put Katie as very close with Alyssa, Josie, and Carlin (who is in her wedding.)  And Addie (Who is in her wedding.) 

The one who seems to be mostly left out is Michaella and maybe that is because she doesn't have kids? Michaella doesn't post a lot of photos of her just hanging out with her sisters. More like she and Brandon doing their own thing, day trips, and other things they have going on.  

I think Carlin and Whitney spend more time with each other than they do with Erin, who they all seem to like to have around to decorate or for Chad's help.  

That is my two cents. Worth about that much. LOL

Family dynamics are interesting. In every family there are people who you may love, but don't necessarily like to spend time with.

Michaela, Erin and Tori seem as though they may fit in with the Duggar family more than their own family, personality wise.

If the families lived closer together I'd be curious to see which ones would be closer than they are now. I could see Jinger and Alyssa being friends.
 

[Kailash]

On 6/24/2021 at 6:48 PM, nelliebelle1197 said:

Can you have your significant other log on and let us know you finally popped? Like a status update? Cause I feel like you have been pregnant two years and I need to know when it comes.

I read this as finally pooped and was completely mystified! (I was like WTH? Since when does anyone on a forum care that much about someone else’s bowel movement? I thought I must have missed a long, constipated saga. (Shakes head at self.) It is 3:30am so I’ll cut myself a little slack.)

Wishing @freethemall an amazing delivery and much health and happiness! 

[Nikedagain?]

The Bates girls have always seemed slightly cliquey to me. I've never seen Tori and Alyssa or Tori and Josie as close. Did I dream that once in a BUB episode, Gil was talking about Josie and mentioned that when she was younger, some of Josie's siblings were unkind to her? 

[rebeccawriter01]

2 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

The Bates girls have always seemed slightly cliquey to me. I've never seen Tori and Alyssa or Tori and Josie as close. Did I dream that once in a BUB episode, Gil was talking about Josie and mentioned that when she was younger, some of Josie's siblings were unkind to her? 

I don't remember the comment about Josie. Gil usually keeps things pretty positive and speaks about how happy of a childhood they all had crammed in a house together and sharing every last item. I think that is partially why some of the girls (we'll see on the boys) buy so many clothes and shoes now. Growing up they shared them all. Alyssa buys her kids a lot of toys as compared to what the Bates kids had growing up. They obsess over decor, fashion, and pictures of just how happy everyone in their new family units feel and show us. 

I remember on the old version of Bates that the young children never had toys out to play with them. You'd see Jeb, Jud, Callie, Addallee, and Ellie get toys as gifts but they were never seen again. Yes, they play(ed) outside, but you'd think you would have seen Callie with a doll house or Jeb and Jud making a city and driving miniature cars through it in the living room. 

I can imagine that Josie was probably overlooked a bit more than the others (there were 19 - lots of overlooking), as she was sandwiched between Carlin and Katie. Both Carlin and Katie are in Kelly Jo's terms, "spunky." In my terms they are loud and at times obnoxious. Josie seems much quieter and more introverted. She seems to be more comfortable in the scenes she shoots one on one with a sister than when she fades into the background with a large group. Alyssa is very much the same way. 

I can't picture them not be a very clique heavy family. In addition to natural age groups, you have personalities, interests, etc. I always cringe as a writer when one of the girls waxes on about how close she is/was to another of the sisters. One of the big rules of writing is show don't tell. So when Erin said she was close to Michael, I tried to think back in my brain at a time when I would have seen that. I couldn't picture it. There was the episode where Josie and Tori were walking in the park with Willow and Kade. Yet before they were both dating/courting two guys who were good friends, you just didn't see the two of them hanging out.

I suppose it is natural to have closer relationships with some siblings over others as your lives change.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

My cousin group was so cliquish based on age groups. The oldest 4 were always in a clique, the middle 5 were in a clique (I was in that clique) and the youngest 3 were in a clique. The oldest clique very rarely let the younger ones in their clique. But we in the middle clique let the little ones play with us sometimes. It’s the only comparison I have since their were 12 of us and that sort of compares to mega fundie families. So I can see big fundie families being cliquish. 

[llucie]

1 hour ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

So when Erin said she was close to Michael, I tried to think back in my brain at a time when I would have seen that. I couldn't picture it. 

I can picture Michaela and Erin talking about Jesus. They both seem very devout. Especially now that they are both struggling with infertility.

Edited June 26, 2021 by llucie
spelling

[Melissa1977]

3 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

Gil was talking about Josie and mentioned that when she was younger, some of Josie's siblings were unkind to her? 

Yes, I remember it. Bates seem to be loud and not very respectful. If Josie was introverted and quiet, maybe some siblings bullied her. 

 

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, llucie said:

I can picture Michaela and Erin talking about Jesus. They both seem very devout. Especially now that they are both struggling with infertility.

Now I can but at the time that was said, it was just a bit odd. Their conversations around each other were very stilted and uncomfortable. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

7 hours ago, llucie said:

I can picture Michaela and Erin talking about Jesus. They both seem very devout. Especially now that they are both struggling with infertility.

Although Erin still has four kids and Michael has none so it's not the same. 

I think part of the reason Michael isn't more popular with her sisters is the result of being a parentified child. Michael has serious disposition that comes from having to be responsible. Any of her sisters except for Erin may have memories Michael disciplining them and that may make them less of friend to them. 

Edited June 26, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell

[Dominionatrix]

Erin and Alyssa seem to have the most distant relationship of the bunch, which I think is for two reasons: 1) supposedly Erin was heavily favored by Kelly Jo due to her music ability. As the next-born sister after Erin, that must have been hard for Alyssa. 2) Relatedly, Alyssa seems to have been saddled with a ton of housework that typically would have been done by Erin due to their birth order and gender in a fundie family. We know Erin didn’t learn to cook til she was married, and younger sister Alyssa got stuck cooking for damn near 20 people every single day from the age of 12.  Comments Gil made in their early episodes also suggested to me that Alyssa did a fair amount of other housework, too, and Michael largely raised the children. Basically, while Erin was allowed time to study and practice music and eventually go to college, Alyssa and Michael were shouldering most of the work at home. Obviously this is really on Kelly Jo and Gil, not Erin, but under those circumstances it would be very unusual for Alyssa not to resent her older sister who got so much positive attention while she did so much drudgery. 

[Mrs Ms]

34 minutes ago, Dominionatrix said:

Erin and Alyssa seem to have the most distant relationship of the bunch, which I think is for two reasons: 1) supposedly Erin was heavily favored by Kelly Jo due to her music ability. As the next-born sister after Erin, that must have been hard for Alyssa. 2) Relatedly, Alyssa seems to have been saddled with a ton of housework that typically would have been done by Erin due to their birth order and gender in a fundie family. We know Erin didn’t learn to cook til she was married, and younger sister Alyssa got stuck cooking for damn near 20 people every single day from the age of 12.  Comments Gil made in their early episodes also suggested to me that Alyssa did a fair amount of other housework, too, and Michael largely raised the children. Basically, while Erin was allowed time to study and practice music and eventually go to college, Alyssa and Michael were shouldering most of the work at home. Obviously this is really on Kelly Jo and Gil, not Erin, but under those circumstances it would be very unusual for Alyssa not to resent her older sister who got so much positive attention while she did so much drudgery. 

Even taking any projection of feelings out of the equation (though I agree with you) those are some really bleak facts. 

Lucky for Alyssa that she and John seem to be a very good match as I assume she would have said yes to almost any ogre to get out of that house and away from the noise and chaos. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Dominionatrix said:

Erin and Alyssa seem to have the most distant relationship of the bunch, which I think is for two reasons: 1) supposedly Erin was heavily favored by Kelly Jo due to her music ability. As the next-born sister after Erin, that must have been hard for Alyssa. 2) Relatedly, Alyssa seems to have been saddled with a ton of housework that typically would have been done by Erin due to their birth order and gender in a fundie family. We know Erin didn’t learn to cook til she was married, and younger sister Alyssa got stuck cooking for damn near 20 people every single day from the age of 12.  Comments Gil made in their early episodes also suggested to me that Alyssa did a fair amount of other housework, too, and Michael largely raised the children. Basically, while Erin was allowed time to study and practice music and eventually go to college, Alyssa and Michael were shouldering most of the work at home. Obviously this is really on Kelly Jo and Gil, not Erin, but under those circumstances it would be very unusual for Alyssa not to resent her older sister who got so much positive attention while she did so much drudgery. 

I think Kelly really took advantage of Alyssa’s high energy. They call her “biz” because she was always busy. I think Kelly saw that energy and made her use it towards chores. I am sure she did more than cooking. I bet she also did a lot of the organizing and cleaning too. I think a lot of FJ parents are good at exploiting their children’s natural interests and abilities. Michael is good with kids? Bam, she’s a third parent. Don’t ever be good at anything around Kelly and Gil. They make you work. That’s why they are s as least making Chad do stuff. If I was in that family, I would pretend I sucked at everything. 

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, Dominionatrix said:

Erin and Alyssa seem to have the most distant relationship of the bunch, which I think is for two reasons: 1) supposedly Erin was heavily favored by Kelly Jo due to her music ability. As the next-born sister after Erin, that must have been hard for Alyssa. 2) Relatedly, Alyssa seems to have been saddled with a ton of housework that typically would have been done by Erin due to their birth order and gender in a fundie family. We know Erin didn’t learn to cook til she was married, and younger sister Alyssa got stuck cooking for damn near 20 people every single day from the age of 12.  Comments Gil made in their early episodes also suggested to me that Alyssa did a fair amount of other housework, too, and Michael largely raised the children. Basically, while Erin was allowed time to study and practice music and eventually go to college, Alyssa and Michael were shouldering most of the work at home. Obviously this is really on Kelly Jo and Gil, not Erin, but under those circumstances it would be very unusual for Alyssa not to resent her older sister who got so much positive attention while she did so much drudgery. 

Yes, it would be absolutely natural for Alyssa to resent Erin. It also might be why Erin seems more content with the quiverful life (I think she would have kept having babies if she hadn't gotten sick) than Alissa who I think will have a more manageable family on purpose simply becsuse of how much she hated her childhood. Erin as the golden child would have less to resent than her sisters. 

[Nikedagain?]

Alyssa and Tori are pretty close in age, but don't seem to have much of a bond either. Tori was kind of loud and obnoxious as a younger person and teen. That probably did not help!

 

[Melissa1977]

Alyssa and Josie were close, but for some reason they stopped being close. If I recall correctly, Josie used to visit Alyssa when she married and moved to Florida. 

Josie is clearly close to Katie, but broadly speaking I see her very private and not very close to her siblings. As Alyssa, Josie hated* the noise and the mess of the Bates house. In a different way, both of them try to have a quiet  life and a tidy home. I have the feeling that both of them prefer to spend with the in-laws than with Bates, because in-laws seem to be quieter and more structured families.

*I edit to add that, while they never used the word hate, both have been vocal about Bates being too loud and how uncomfortable they were because the noise and mess. Josie even said that Bates house was always dirty. 

Edited June 27, 2021 by Melissa1977
Clarify

[freethemall]

On 6/26/2021 at 4:44 AM, Kailash said:

I read this as finally pooped and was completely mystified! (I was like WTH? Since when does anyone on a forum care that much about someone else’s bowel movement? I thought I must have missed a long, constipated saga. (Shakes head at self.) It is 3:30am so I’ll cut myself a little slack.)

Wishing @freethemall an amazing delivery and much health and happiness! 

Lol thanks guys,  though I'm now 2 days past due date and still hear looking at all these stupid fundies popping out their endless babies. I remember knowing Whit/Tori/Josie were all due at the same time with Josie an almost identical date, and here they've now all had their babies and I'm still here. Seeing the babies having issues certainly adds some anxiety. Unlike them though, excited to close this womb right on up afterwards.

And not gonna lie, a poop sounds great and cant wait for the constipation struggles to subside post baby!