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Alyssa & John 9: It’s All About Dressing Up and Looking Perfect on Instagram


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I imagine that when they are kids, they play with the sibling closest in age. When they are teens and adults, they spend the most time with the sibling closest in personality. 

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1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

Erin has referred to Tori as her closest sister. And Tori has commented on some of Erin’s Instagram posts. But yes, she does keep a very low profile comparatively. 

This makes sense. Tori and Erin were each other's Maid of Honor (Tori had two, the other was Carlin). Tori doesn't post much, but none of the other sisters who are on social media all the time ever seem to really post about visiting or hanging out with her either. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen, of course, and she's a mom of two going on three very young children so I'm sure she's fairly busy at home.

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52 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

This makes sense. Tori and Erin were each other's Maid of Honor (Tori had two, the other was Carlin). Tori doesn't post much, but none of the other sisters who are on social media all the time ever seem to really post about visiting or hanging out with her either. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen, of course, and she's a mom of two going on three very young children so I'm sure she's fairly busy at home.

Is that right? How old was Tori when Erin got married? I think I keep thinking Tori as being age wise closer to Carlin, and I feel like Erin has been married forever.

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13 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Is that right? How old was Tori when Erin got married? I think I keep thinking Tori as being age wise closer to Carlin, and I feel like Erin has been married forever.

Erin got married in November 2013 at 22 and Tori was a month away from being 18. 

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So how much do you think Alyssa and Carlin both got from Pampers for their Insta promotions?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQYzJ-elMnl/

And were they both given specific instructions on what to wear (white tops, jeans) and how to style the shoot?

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I think Tori and Erin are similar in their religious views and rejection of "worldliness." 

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My children are almost 10 years apart and are very close and my best friend has a great relationship with her 8 years older brother. Conversely, I know siblings very close in age that don't play together. People tend to think that siblings close in age will be like friends, but it is not always true. 

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2 hours ago, HereticHick said:

So how much do you think Alyssa and Carlin both got from Pampers for their Insta promotions?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQYzJ-elMnl/

And were they both given specific instructions on what to wear (white tops, jeans) and how to style the shoot?

I don't know. But when I saw the Pampers "ad" on her insta, I thought how sad it was. Maci is an absolutely beautiful baby, she is conventionally beautiful, a perfect commercial for Pampers. At four months old, that beauty is being used as a marketing tool by her mother. 

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2 hours ago, HereticHick said:

So how much do you think Alyssa and Carlin both got from Pampers for their Insta promotions?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQYzJ-elMnl/

And were they both given specific instructions on what to wear (white tops, jeans) and how to style the shoot?

I mean the Pampers Partners promotion is a big thing. The Miz (wrestler) had an ad on his instagram last week and I know I have seen a couple others. Honestly, though TV ads are (mostly) a thing of the past and partnering with influencers is a smart way to go. 

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I think Alyssa and Carlin are trying to live out their 20s and feel young and fresh and the whole influencer lifestyle, and that's why they and Katie have been so close, with Josie sometimes in the mix but more with Katie and Carlin. Meanwhile Erin has a whole different aesthetic and lifestyle with her little farm so I can see her being closer to Tori who isnt into any of the Instagram crap. Whitney is somewhere in the middle.

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Alyssa has a series of Instagram stories talking about what a stressful day she’s having. She shows a big bunch of toys on the living room floor, and there’s a montage in which she says she spent hours sorting the kids’ toys into baskets and putting them away. 
 

On one hand I empathize with her, because she had such a traumatically chaotic home life growing up, and taking meticulous care of her space and appearance is clearly a response to that. On the other hand, she is going to drive herself and her family insane by trying to keep her home spotless and perfectly organized with four small children. I understand putting them away, but what is the purpose of the kids’ toys being sorted and organized? They all fit into matching white bins; she could have just tossed them in at random and it would have looked exactly the same and saved herself literally hours of work and stress. Those kids will have the toys out and mixed up again ASAP, and she’ll probably be pissed that her work was undone. 
 

I hope she eventually realizes that designating a separate space where the kids can play and be messy is easier for everyone, but I think she’s someone who can’t stand the idea of an untidy room, even if she doesn’t have to see it. 

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How ridiculous with four small children to have all the toys down at their level and expect that they’re going to stay tidy. And to complain when they’re all out everywhere. She’d be better taking a nap of the baby and other kids are having a sleep.  

When my kids were small the toys were packed into boxes and stored in a cupboard out of reach (obviously some toys were always out, or in their bedroom.  I’m talking about the ones with all the small pieces). If they wanted to play with lego we got out the lego and they played with it. But if they then wanted to play with the magnetix we’d pack away the lego and then get magnetix out. Same with jigsaw puzzles and board games. I got our board games for my little nieces to play last weekend and my brother was amazed that all pieces were there (my kids are in their 20s).  His wife just lets the kids tip everything out so no sets are ever complete. And no way is she house proud/anal/obsessed with tidiness like Alyssa. 

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1 hour ago, Karma said:

When my kids were small the toys were packed into boxes and stored in a cupboard out of reach (obviously some toys were always out, or in their bedroom.  I’m talking about the ones with all the small pieces). If they wanted to play with lego we got out the lego and they played with it. But if they then wanted to play with the magnetix we’d pack away the lego and then get magnetix out.

Exactly! I want a tidy house and it was the only way. Plus when little kids have legos, playmobils, dolls clothes etc all mixed, many pieces got lost. 

 

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Why the need even for her to be doing all that herself? Surely it would be great for the kids to be helping her and learning to take on that responsibility themselves. Even with toddlers there's that capability. After all if they can get it out to play with then they can put it away themselves after. They'll then learn how much hassle it is if they don't keep things relatively tidy during the day. Plus it's the attitude of cleaning up after yourself which is something that would come in handy as life lesson.

Growing up we'd always have to tidy our toys before guests visited and at the end of the day. Plus any puzzles and game sets were to be tidied after we'd finished with them as there was no sense keeping them out further and cluttering up the space needlessly or losing pieces.

Edited by FrumperedCat
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3 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

Alyssa has a series of Instagram stories talking about what a stressful day she’s having. She shows a big bunch of toys on the living room floor, and there’s a montage in which she says she spent hours sorting the kids’ toys into baskets and putting them away. 
 

On one hand I empathize with her, because she had such a traumatically chaotic home life growing up, and taking meticulous care of her space and appearance is clearly a response to that. On the other hand, she is going to drive herself and her family insane by trying to keep her home spotless and perfectly organized with four small children. I understand putting them away, but what is the purpose of the kids’ toys being sorted and organized? They all fit into matching white bins; she could have just tossed them in at random and it would have looked exactly the same and saved herself literally hours of work and stress. Those kids will have the toys out and mixed up again ASAP, and she’ll probably be pissed that her work was undone. 
 

I hope she eventually realizes that designating a separate space where the kids can play and be messy is easier for everyone, but I think she’s someone who can’t stand the idea of an untidy room, even if she doesn’t have to see it. 

I though the same dam thing. Just pack them away. The kids are only goi g to pull them all out again. 

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1 hour ago, FrumperedCat said:

Why the need even for her to be doing all that herself? Surely it would be great for the kids to be helping her and learning to take on that responsibility themselves

Probably she likes to do it herself. Doing it with 3 little kids is a slow job or even an extra mess (Zoey mixing the pieces again, or not getting focused in the job, etc). Sometimes it happens to me: I clean faster and better myself... I know it is not the best way, because children SHOULD participate in cleaning, but...

Edited by Melissa1977
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7 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

I understand putting them away, but what is the purpose of the kids’ toys being sorted and organized? They all fit into matching white bins; she could have just tossed them in at random and it would have looked exactly the same and saved herself literally hours of work and stress. Those kids will have the toys out and mixed up again ASAP, and she’ll probably be pissed that her work was undone. 

But if she hadn't spent all the time to sort and organize them, she wouldn't have had any content to post on Instagram. My first thought when I saw it was that if I were really that exhausted and stressed out by the mess, the last thing I would do is set my phone up on a tripod to take a time lapse of me sorting toys to post on social media. 

Alyssa seems to desperately want to be a mommy influencer, but she doesn't have a knack for coming up with natural, relatable content. She comes across as trying too hard to create content that good* mommy influencers just find in the natural day-to-day flow of their lives. 

*Disclaimer: I mean good in terms of marketability and income potential, but I don't think spending your life using your kids as content for profit makes one a good mother.

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Her lack of ability as a mommy influencer is probably related to her lack of ability as a mommy. Hard to make mom content when you clearly don't enjoy or put creativity or energy into any of the routine stuff moms do that might make good content.

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14 minutes ago, FrumpyAtheist said:

Her lack of ability as a mommy influencer is probably related to her lack of ability as a mommy. Hard to make mom content when you clearly don't enjoy or put creativity or energy into any of the routine stuff moms do that might make good content.

Comparing her to her sisters, they do it better. Erin's little farm and outdoorsy life makes for good content, but on a similar vibe, Carlin's instagram is far more engaging than Alyssa's. Maybe because she only has one child but she seems far more involved in Layla and it comes across. Plus a puppy and toddler destroying plants is a more relatable mess than a mom resorting all her kids toys. 

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To my previous point, Carlin has an insta story with a pile of laundry on her couch and Layla climbing on top of it. Is a more relatable mom moment and made me laugh. 

10 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

Alyssa has a series of Instagram stories talking about what a stressful day she’s having. She shows a big bunch of toys on the living room floor, and there’s a montage in which she says she spent hours sorting the kids’ toys into baskets and putting them away. 
 

On one hand I empathize with her, because she had such a traumatically chaotic home life growing up, and taking meticulous care of her space and appearance is clearly a response to that. On the other hand, she is going to drive herself and her family insane by trying to keep her home spotless and perfectly organized with four small children. I understand putting them away, but what is the purpose of the kids’ toys being sorted and organized? They all fit into matching white bins; she could have just tossed them in at random and it would have looked exactly the same and saved herself literally hours of work and stress. Those kids will have the toys out and mixed up again ASAP, and she’ll probably be pissed that her work was undone. 
 

I hope she eventually realizes that designating a separate space where the kids can play and be messy is easier for everyone, but I think she’s someone who can’t stand the idea of an untidy room, even if she doesn’t have to see it. 

Yep. Every once in a while I sort my kids toys, but mostly I just toss them in the bins. My best friend is one of 3 and when I had my third, her mother gave me the advice of going around at night with a laundry basket and picking everything up and tossing it in that because at least it looks clean. 

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9 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Exactly! I want a tidy house and it was the only way. Plus when little kids have legos, playmobils, dolls clothes etc all mixed, many pieces got lost. 

 

Kids do better when they have fewer choices. I'm not saying they should only have one thing out at a time. But it's a bad idea to allow small children access to a lot of toys, each having a million tiny pieces. It makes for disorganized play, and the children get bored quicker, and they're actually less happy. They dont' like stepping on a lego anymore than we do!

Having 20 bins, each filled with tiny Polly Pockets and Legos, is a terrible idea for such small kids. Take away 18 of those bins, and leave 2. Swap them out every few days, so the kids have something new to play with. 

This won't work in a few years, when the kids are older. But Alyssa's kids are so young, she can have complete control.

Also, why does she label the bins with words? Most of her kids can't read. Put a picture on the bin, or tape a piece of the toy. It encourages independence, too. 

Edited by Jackie3
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I’m in the minority but I do the same as Alyssa. Once every few months I go through my kids toys and get rid of all the broken bits, happy meal toys ect ask what we can donate and then sort it back into the bins. My kids are good about helping to clean up but sometimes it needs a reset. . My only difference is my bins have pictures on them so even my youngest knows where things go . I enjoy watching people clean and organize so this content I enjoyed

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Rotating toys is also good when you have little ones. Have a huge bin and pack away some of their toys in a closet for a month. Less toys they have access to means less mess. Then after a month, take out the toys in the bin and put away toys they just played with for them last month. The kids will act like it’s Christmas when they see all the toys they haven’t played with for a month. 

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4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Rotating toys is also good when you have little ones.

Heck, I rotate my dog's toys.

Too bad Alyssa never went to school. She would know the Clean Up song and teach the kids how to clean up. However, then she would have to interact with the kids and actually teach them so nevermind. 

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