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Lori Alexander 79: False Female Bible Teachers Elevate Jesus’ Words over the Apostle Paul’s


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Is the Babylon Bee inside Lori’s head?  She won’t understand this is satire and will lead with a "feminists have destroyed the world" post tomorrow morning.  

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On 6/2/2021 at 12:28 PM, brittbratkittykat said:

It kinda felt like that to me, too.  She was actively praying for someone else's tragedy. Again, adoption is great...great for a woman who finds herself in a situation and has no other options, great for folks who can't have a baby. Great for the baby...but it almost felt like a "mail order baby" in this situation rather than a good solution for all in a difficult situation. 

Agree.  The thing is Alyssa is a daughter coming from a privileged family. She is her mother's daughter, even if she is not as bad as Lori.  I do believe Lori is an awful grandmother/abusive in many ways AND I don't understand why her kids leave their babies with her.  They must think it is fine to use the leather strap, etc. and to spiritually abuse. It must be normal and okay to do it.   Because ... if they thought differently ... they wouldn't leave their kids alone with her.  Would you?  Even after the one child was left on that bike & was crying for her mom (the normal thing is let her call her Mom/let her go home if she wants) and not the lecture Lori gave this 8 or 9 year old girl.   Lori was not compassionate and kind to her kids.  It is not in her.  How far from that tree did Alyssa fall?  Thoughts?

 

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3 hours ago, Liza said:

Agree.  The thing is Alyssa is a daughter coming from a privileged family. She is her mother's daughter, even if she is not as bad as Lori.  I do believe Lori is an awful grandmother/abusive in many ways AND I don't understand why her kids leave their babies with her.  They must think it is fine to use the leather strap, etc. and to spiritually abuse. It must be normal and okay to do it.   Because ... if they thought differently ... they wouldn't leave their kids alone with her.  Would you?  Even after the one child was left on that bike & was crying for her mom (the normal thing is let her call her Mom/let her go home if she wants) and not the lecture Lori gave this 8 or 9 year old girl.   Lori was not compassionate and kind to her kids.  It is not in her.  How far from that tree did Alyssa fall?  Thoughts?

 

Without doubt Alyssa is coming from privilege. She’s also coming from an abusive mother who I’m certain has gaslight (and might even continue to do so). I think she was much closer to her grandmother. I don’t think Lori can be closer to anyone. I mean when she was showing her ultrasound she clearly turned to only show Ken. That will always be telling to me. To me I also just see Alyssa has a broken broken abused women honestly. I don’t see her as strong or stable. The post has been been edited but when she was talking about infertility she mentioned how much shame she felt. I mean that’s all Lori honestly. I don’t think she can handle much. And it’s hard to not view her with Loris lense. 
That said I do feel bad for her. And I always will. Even though she is terrible. Being someone’s metaphorical punching bag is horrible. It’s a terrible way to live. 

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17 hours ago, usmcmom said:

She does not seem to be really engaged with him. I get the feeling she pretends to enjoy him but really does not like the whole motherhood thing. 

I think it's possible Alyssa loves her son deeply but is literally afraid to show it. Because -- given Lori's everlasting harping that women should not have emotions as they are satanic, and if you do have them you must control, stifle, and never show them -- Alyssa is following Lori's no emotions dictate and is also emulating how Lori was as a mother.

I'm 99.99999999999% positive that if Alyssa was loving up on Gideon in Lori's presence, she would jump all over her, tell Alyssa she was wrong, doing something satanic and feminist, was a bad Christian, and flat out tell Alyssa she was raising a weak, effeminate, emasculated boy.

I totally agree with @SongRed7 that Alyssa is an insure, fragile person -- and that's all on Lori.

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I don't think Alyssa enjoys Gideon a lot, but it doesn't mean she doesn't love him. I think she loves him but parenting is too challenging for her or the boy is not perfect enough (too rough? Not obedient? Who knows). She could put the kid in daycare and get a fulfilling job in the ballet school or in a gym... 

During the last month, Alyssa has been very anxious and emotional (her words, her stories, she wasn't fine at all). It's normal, considering she was going to adopt. But now I wonder if she suspected something wasn't working with the adoption... or if she was scared of adopting and now she is somehow relieved. I know it's 100% speculation, but I'm not sure she was surprised for the failed adoption and there are things we will never know. 

 

Edited by Melissa1977
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On 6/1/2021 at 4:43 PM, brittbratkittykat said:

Alyssa mentioned she was hoping for an open adoption.

also this isn’t provable but based on who she has followed and posted I’m nearly certain this baby is a person of color and Lori has been extremely racist lately. So I really honestly wouldn’t be shocked if the mother found Lori.  It’s not hard to make the connection they aren’t hiding it.

Of course its just as likely that the mother made her own choice for her own reasons. It's understandable that adoptive parents (like me) get focused on our own feelings and hopes, but we and our possibly creepy relatives are not and should not be the main factor in anyone's decision. As bbkk also says, no one is owed someone else's baby.

I do give Alyssa credit for saying the baby "is not meant to be ours," rather than judging the mother for her choice. Others will though, which is another reason to wait until rights are terminated before going public with adoption specifics. Open adoption doesn't have to mean throwing privacy and discretion to the winds. We've have had open adoptions for 30-plus years now, and I've been on the Internet most of that time. Outside of a few relevant graduation and wedding pictures, my public (under my name) display of that relationship, which is ongoing and very important to me, has been pretty much zero. My children and their birth families make their own choices, but that has been mine.

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On 6/5/2021 at 10:29 AM, brittbratkittykat said:

o me I also just see Alyssa has a broken broken abused women honestly. I don’t see her as strong or stable. The post has been been edited but when she was talking about infertility she mentioned how much shame she felt. I mean that’s all Lori honestly. I don’t think she can handle much. And it’s hard to not view her with Loris lense. 
That said I do feel bad for her. And I always will. Even though she is terrible. Being someone’s metaphorical punching bag is horrible. It’s a terrible way to live. 

Good points.  Externally, Alyssa seems to be very happy and since I dont know much about her, all I have done is made a guess.  So, you are saying Alyssa felt shame over infertility?  Oh, that is Definitely due to her mother.  No question about that.  That is sad.  If she does adopt, (I know this one did not go through), the question is:  will Lori be accepting of an adopted child?    

I think one of the possible reasons that her kids all stay (none have estranged her) is guilt.  Good old Christian "honor they parents" no matter what they did or do .. guilt and possibly Stockholm Syndrome.  

 

 

 

 

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One of the things brought home in the pre adoption classes I took was that all adoptions begin with a loss for the child and birth mother.  I found remembering that humbling and emphasized that the adoption wasn’t all about me and my wish for a child. 
 

When OneKid was 11 or 12 she asked what her birth mom looked like.  I said to look in a mirror and
I told her she must be beautiful and look just like her. 

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I haven’t gotten the sense of a disconnection between Alyssa and her son but I am distracted by her overly stylized IG account.  Many women may feel unneeded shame about infertility but I think I remember Lori made a video or blog about she "dealt with her daughter’s infertility."  ? 

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7 hours ago, Liza said:

I think one of the possible reasons that her kids all stay (none have estranged her) is guilt.  Good old Christian "honor they parents" no matter what they did or do .. guilt and possibly Stockholm Syndrome

Alyssa was the rebel one, yet she likes her mother enough to let her babysit her baby. She also is fine with the wife submission idea (she posted about it years ago). The eldest son definitely shares some of her mother's beliefs regarding raising children and leaves the children there often. Cassi seems to be quiverful. In short, Stocolm Syndrome may play a role (and Ken's money!) but the kids are not very different than their parents.

 

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14 hours ago, onekidanddone said:

One of the things brought home in the pre adoption classes I took was that all adoptions begin with a loss for the child and birth mother.  I found remembering that humbling and emphasized that the adoption wasn’t all about me and my wish for a child. 

This! Thanks for spreading the word; people need to know this.

One of my greatest regrets is that we didn't know this going into adoption; we didn't learn it until our daughter was in her teens. Even if you adopt a child into a good and loving home, even if they know you are their mom and dad and love you very much... they grieve and that grief is painful. And it starts at a young age, and it comes out sideways in ways where you may not realize what the real issue is. We could have done a lot more to help her process it, if we'd only known.

The fact that a rational analysis might show that adoption was the right choice, ultimately better for your child, etc. does not change the fact that her birth mother gave her away. Think about how a child would process that. You have to be prepared to deal with it. She's in a relatively good place now, but oh, the many tears between there and here.

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A friend of mine is an open adoption educator and is doing a series of podcasts that I think are excellent. The latest is aimed at prospective parents through infant adoption. It covers many of the points people have been making here.

Several of the others feature adult adoptees -- so important because although adoption is supposed to be first and foremost about the child who needs a home, their voices are heard the least in adoption discussions.

https://www.adopting.com/adoption-podcasts/adoption-the-long-view

I'm not a huge podcast listener, so I appreciate that all of these have accurate, accessible transcripts.

 

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My 55-year-old brother-in-law was adopted as a baby. He tried to have contact with his biological mother, but found a “no contact” letter, which crushed him. We suspect that she’s never told her husband and family that he exists—she was only 17 when she had him. My BIL’s biological father, also 17, had a job lined up and wanted to marry her, but was rebuffed by her mother (and possibly by her as well.) My BIL’s bio mother and his half-brothers by her live only a couple of towns away. One of his half-brothers could be his twin. My BIL, out of concern for her emotional well-being, has decided not to push contact.

On a happier note: Thanks to a cousin who does genealogy, my BIL was reunited with his biological father, and it was a happy experience! His dad and his wife drove up here on their way to their summer home to meet him and his family. They stayed at their house for several days, and invited the rest of our family to meet them, too. It was beautiful, and everyone bonded. It was surreal to meet a man who was my BIL’s clone, but with a Deep South accent. (He left New England and joined the Navy many years ago, and has lived in the South ever since.) This summer, my BiL and my sister will be traveling down south to meet his half-sisters and half-brother.

The other day, my niece received birthday flowers from her new grandma and grandpa.

I’m overjoyed for him, as his adoptive parents (now deceased) were solid citizens and nice enough people, but not emotionally warm. Because my BIL and my sister were change-of-life babies and didn’t have their kids till their 30s, the kids barely had a relationship with their grandparents before they passed away. It’s great that the kids have these new people in their lives.

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2 hours ago, Antipatriarch said:

This! Thanks for spreading the word; people need to know this.

One of my greatest regrets is that we didn't know this going into adoption; we didn't learn it until our daughter was in her teens. Even if you adopt a child into a good and loving home, even if they know you are their mom and dad and love you very much... they grieve and that grief is painful. And it starts at a young age, and it comes out sideways in ways where you may not realize what the real issue is. We could have done a lot more to help her process it, if we'd only known.

 

Yes, that's why it's called the adoption triad. There are three parties involved: the birth parents, the child and the adoptive parents.

There is grieving to be done on at least two sides--the child (loss of biological parents), the birthparents (loss of the child, obviously). There can be grieving on the part of the adoptive parents, particularly if there is infertility involved. Even if there is no infertility involved, it can be very hard to see your adopted child struggle with identity problems that you cannot solve.

Hopefully, all the adults involved want what is best for the child. In Alyssa's case, this seems to be true. She's sad, yes, but that's understandable. She does say she'd never, ever want to take a baby away from parents who could raise him. That tells me that she understand the situation but is nonetheless experiencing a loss. 

I see her as a fragile insecure person, which is understandable since she wasn't just raised by Lori, she was Lori's oldest AND a female child. A tough place to be.

 

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5 hours ago, Antipatriarch said:

This! Thanks for spreading the word; people need to know this.

One of my greatest regrets is that we didn't know this going into adoption; we didn't learn it until our daughter was in her teens. Even if you adopt a child into a good and loving home, even if they know you are their mom and dad and love you very much... they grieve and that grief is painful. And it starts at a young age, and it comes out sideways in ways where you may not realize what the real issue is. We could have done a lot more to help her process it, if we'd only known.

The fact that a rational analysis might show that adoption was the right choice, ultimately better for your child, etc. does not change the fact that her birth mother gave her away. Think about how a child would process that. You have to be prepared to deal with it. She's in a relatively good place now, but oh, the many tears between there and here.

As a 57 year old adult adoptee....you are right on the money...my parents were my parents...they loved me and raisied me. But as I came to term with my adoption  (and I found family on my maternal side and paternal side -- after my parents were gone)..I can tell you there is some level of damage on all sides. It still wouldn't change the fact that it was the best at the time for all involved...it did not lessen the pain.  

And a birth mother and her baby have a biological, deep connection. Even when IT IS BEST FOR ALL INVOLVED...the internal bond (even if short lived is missed).   I can suggest two good books: The Girls Who Went Away and  Primal Wound.  I don't agree or relate to everything in both books, but they have a lot of truth. 

 

 

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16 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

I can suggest two good books: The Girls Who Went Away and  Primal Wound.  I don't agree or relate to everything in both books, but they have a lot of truth.

Thank you @SongRed7! Our counselor gave us Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew and wow did that explain so much.

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Alyssa keeps digging herself a bigger whole in my option. I was really turned off when she said well planned to put our lives on hold’ like did you not do that for Gideon? Also and this is mean by what lives? And by that I mean it’s not like that are moving (least far as we are aware) not like Alyssa works full time. So what? They couldn’t travel? Is that the problem? 

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13 hours ago, brittbratkittykat said:

Alyssa keeps digging herself a bigger whole in my option. I was really turned off when she said well planned to put our lives on hold’ like did you not do that for Gideon? Also and this is mean by what lives? And by that I mean it’s not like that are moving (least far as we are aware) not like Alyssa works full time. So what? They couldn’t travel? Is that the problem? 

I think she meant that they were putting their lives on hold because they were expecting a newborn. That makes sense to me. I'd stop all my projects, plans, travel, activities if I were expecting a newborn to arrive. They are pretty time-consuming little creatures.

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On 6/2/2021 at 9:28 AM, brittbratkittykat said:

I mean I understand the idea of you put it out there in the universe will receive you but setting up a crib for a baby you don’t even have seems a little strange to me( to put it mildly).

These adoptions can happen pretty fast and suddenly, so it shows good sense to have a crib set up, imo. It's possible they just moved Gideon to a toddler bed and had the crib set up already.

It would be stranger to get a baby and then scramble to set up a crib.

Edited by Jackie3
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My uncle and aunt adopted a baby 16 years ago. Their first adoption "fell through" after the birth mother, whom they had met with all through her pregnancy, changed her mind in the delivery room. There was nothing they could do and they accepted it (although they did have judgements) as not meant to be, as they weren't "owed" anyone's child. Literally 2 weeks later another baby (whose mother they had never met) "became available" and they adopted my cousin! So perhaps Alyssa won't have to wait that long. 

Also, I noticed Alyssa also eats fermented salads, but hers look much less slimy than her mother's. It seemed a general analogy for her life: slimy, but she's good at making it look not slimy. 

 

Edited by kmachete14
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But, but, but I thought women were supposed to be keepers at home, and not have a profession! The arrogance, it nauseates. 
 

BB304239-1834-46D3-904F-E3450943C515.png

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I'm glad I can't see her FB today...where she is trying to blame physical abuse on women being contentious. It was bad enough seeing it on Twitter.  She has NOOOO business teaching anyone, especially not women. 

 

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looks like she deleted the abuse Tweet or it was removed

 

and today? She takes on POLYGAMY! Fun times!

 

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What a shit storm it is today. She is getting her ass handing to her left and right. That delete finger’s going to be wayyyyy too tired to participate in Ken’s hand job tonight. 

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8 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

 

 

and today? She takes on POLYGAMY! Fun times!

 

For or against?

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