Dillards 89: I'd Watch a Netflix Xpecial and so Would My Mom

[livinginthelight]

On 6/23/2021 at 6:40 AM, louisa05 said:

The kids I taught at Christian school who chugged the kool-aid and preached it to the rest the most are the ones who are no longer evangelical.  A lot of the ones who rebelled against it all then are hardcore now. 

I've definitely seen your first statement happen often, (though I haven't seen the reverse as much.) The stricter the rules, the harder kids/teens have to rebel to get any sense of autonomy, so they go further from the faith.

Reminds me of a limerick:

There once was a monk from Siberia/whose existence grew drearier and drearier/till he burst from his cell/with a hell of a yell/and eloped with the Mother Superior!

Edited June 24, 2021 by livinginthelight

[bertnee]

I just realized that their youngest is 3. He's probably either out of diapers or close to it. Could it finally be the first time in Jill's life that she isn't changing 37 diapers a day!?!? Congrats, Jill. You have made it to the Promised Land.

Edited June 24, 2021 by bertnee

[Smee]

4 hours ago, bertnee said:

I just realized that their youngest is 3. He's probably either out of diapers or close to it. Could it finally be the first time in Jill's life that she isn't changing 37 diapers a day!?!? Congrats, Jill. You have made it to the Promised Land.

He’ll be 4 in a fortnight, so I expect you’re right. I imagine this is a time of conflicting feelings for Jill and Derrick, where they’re getting a taste of what parenting slightly older, more independent kids is like, but also now that Derrick has finished law school, if they want a third it might be time to start trying (if they haven’t already). They may be weighing up whether to have another or enjoy the next stage of the boys’ lives and for Jill especially, think about other interests to start to pursue with the time she’ll have when both boys are in school. But she seems to love babies.

 I may just be projecting myself onto them here - my youngest is 4, and although we decided before she was born that she would be the last, it’s always been a bit of a “head over heart” decision for me. As she gets older I find myself pursuing more of my other goals: writing, music, a PhD, a new job. I appreciate the extra time and freedom of this stage of life, playing with the kids or reading to them or baking with them, but being able to just say “can you get dressed and brush your teeth” rather than do it all for them. At the same time, when friends have babies it’s always a bit bittersweet, I miss being pregnant and having newborn cuddles, and I LOVE being “auntie Smee” to them. So with Jill’s siblings having babies that she may not have a lot of involvement with, I can see it being a hard decision to make for them.

[HeartsAFundie]

Saw the Dillards' latest FB post last night.  They took Izzy and Sam to the library for the first time in over a year, and Izzy got his own library card.  He was all excited to sign the document himself and have a card in his name.  According to Jill, the boys love reading and they have been reading mystery chapter books together.  Sam is holding up a Curious George book in one of the photos.  Bonus points:  both boys are wearing masks in the library, a public place.  

As an avid reader myself, I was impressed to see this as from all we have read and heard, I am sure Jill never went to the public library when she was the same age as her sons.  I hope Jill checks out some novels for herself as well!      

[Lurker]

It was little Sam that got his own library card.  Jill’s IG post said that since Sam could write his own name he was able to get a card to join his older brother.

[HeartsAFundie]

6 minutes ago, Lurker said:

It was little Sam that got his own library card.  Jill’s IG post said that since Sam could write his own name he was able to get a card to join his older brother.

Thank you for clarifying.  Even more impressive, since Sam isn't even in kindergarten yet!  Again, I give Jill credit for making a very valiant effort to give her boys the childhood she was cheated out of.    

[imokit]

Derrick cares about education and Jill of the Duggar's was the most interested (she wanted to be a midwife and did as much as she was allowed and attempted the midwifery qualification).  They seem the most academic of all the families.

Sam is currently uniquely positioned amongst Duggar children and grandchildren.  He has an older sibling to look up to and want to compete with - ie Izzy can do XYZ, so he wants to too.  He is also the only child at home for most of the time (while Izzy is in school), so he's getting the best of Jill (more so than Izzy did, when Izzy was Sam's age Jill was wrangling a baby/small toddler).  Lots of input, lots of play, lots of books and attention.

It will be interesting to see if the other Duggar siblings - John, Jinger, Josiah (in particular who currently have small families and seem to doting on their girls) see the difference between Jill's children and their own childhoods and other children - Jessa and Joe who are going for it fertility wise. 

[ToriAmos]

I usually feel guilty about the amount of time I spend thinking about fundies and consider it a gigantic waste of my time, but watching Jill's progression away from the cult reminds me that at the heart of my interest is genuine curiosity about how these sheltered kids live/think/feel, and what happens when they make contact with the real world.

I always liked Jill—she seemed really kind and nice in the early shows—then she seemed a bit snotty and self-righteous when she first got married and had a platform and touted her parents' beliefs. And now I just feel happy that she has a chance to re-evaluate all that she was brought up into, and enjoy a different relationship with her kids and husband, and the outside world.

The idea that this is the first time since she was able to change nappies (I'm Australian) that she doesn't have to is just.. awesome. Well done Jill. 

[monkeyrocks71]

On 6/24/2021 at 7:31 PM, Smee said:

He’ll be 4 in a fortnight, so I expect you’re right. I imagine this is a time of conflicting feelings for Jill and Derrick, where they’re getting a taste of what parenting slightly older, more independent kids is like, but also now that Derrick has finished law school, if they want a third it might be time to start trying (if they haven’t already). They may be weighing up whether to have another or enjoy the next stage of the boys’ lives and for Jill especially, think about other interests to start to pursue with the time she’ll have when both boys are in school. But she seems to love babies.

 I may just be projecting myself onto them here - my youngest is 4, and although we decided before she was born that she would be the last, it’s always been a bit of a “head over heart” decision for me. As she gets older I find myself pursuing more of my other goals: writing, music, a PhD, a new job. I appreciate the extra time and freedom of this stage of life, playing with the kids or reading to them or baking with them, but being able to just say “can you get dressed and brush your teeth” rather than do it all for them. At the same time, when friends have babies it’s always a bit bittersweet, I miss being pregnant and having newborn cuddles, and I LOVE being “auntie Smee” to them. So with Jill’s siblings having babies that she may not have a lot of involvement with, I can see it being a hard decision to make for them.

To be fair, not every mom is like this. I ADORE my daughter (who turns 15 this week), but I was never really wistful for “the old days”. I’ve relished seeing each stage and watching her grow into an independent young woman, and, as a single parent, I have been super-involved, but, honestly? It’s hard as hell. I don’t think I’d want to go through any stage again. 
 

I know mileage may vary, but, the “baby-toddler” stage was absolutely brutal for me, and I can’t imagine going through it again, especially once my current kids are achieving some independence. 

[ToriAmos]

And to think that it's Jilly who's out in the world, living her best life, and it's rebellious Jessa-blessa who has doubled-down, lives on the Duggar compound with a boy-husband (employed by Duggar dad) and will be a faithful helpmeet and SAHM.

[Smee]

11 hours ago, monkeyrocks71 said:

To be fair, not every mom is like this. I ADORE my daughter (who turns 15 this week), but I was never really wistful for “the old days”. I’ve relished seeing each stage and watching her grow into an independent young woman, and, as a single parent, I have been super-involved, but, honestly? It’s hard as hell. I don’t think I’d want to go through any stage again. 
 

I know mileage may vary, but, the “baby-toddler” stage was absolutely brutal for me, and I can’t imagine going through it again, especially once my current kids are achieving some independence. 

Oh no, of course not every parent feels this! I know lots of my friends (who are truly wonderful hands-on mothers who I look up to) felt done as soon as their last baby was born, and had no desire for more. I just get the impression that Jill is more like me in that regard - the interest in midwifery, the one who supposedly inspired the Buddy system, comments after Sam’s birth, that Instagram video where Derrick said “we’re not having a baby this year” and Jill said “well we might be, you don’t know!” I think she’s long wanted a third but waited for practical reasons (recovering from the births, finances, Derrick’s law degree) and now it’s a better time to think about trying, it becomes a question of “but do we REALLY want to go back to that super-dependent stage?”

[Xanariel]

It's really so great that Jill is really making an effort to give her boys all the learning and experiences she was robbed of. Just something as simple as being to sit with the kids at night and read with them was probably way beyond parents who were juggling kids of all ages and likely had a newborn hanging off them. She seems really invested in her kids' education and I'm hoping it'll help her as well. Even something like doing Izzy's homework with him could provide more of a grounding in the remedials than the Duggars ever got. 

JB's shunning her, but Jill clearly has some interactions with her siblings and I'm sure childcare comes up in conversations a lot. I wonder if her kids - who, sadly, will likely race ahead of their cousins in the school years - will provide any thoughts for her sisters and sisters-in-law. I can't see any of the current lot going against the grain enough to send their kids to public school, but even something like Jill getting that book on talking to your kids about porn is pretty important. I'm assuming that would involve at least an allusion to people's bodies and appropriate boundaries. If any of the new Duggar parents followed her example, that alone would be a big shift compared to JB's approach to any of Josh's problems. 

[Audrey2]

I am very excited to hear that Sam now has his very own library card. I'm guessing libraries are still on lighter programming but I hope in years to come that Jill gets her boys involved in a summer reading program. The ones I've been around have been fantastic, not only giving children awards for reading but also having several special programs which would give Jill something fun to do with the boys during the day.

[Sabine]

On 6/30/2021 at 11:55 AM, ToriAmos said:

And to think that it's Jilly who's out in the world, living her best life, and it's rebellious Jessa-blessa who has doubled-down, lives on the Duggar compound with a boy-husband (employed by Duggar dad) and will be a faithful helpmeet and SAHM.

The day Jessa admits how much her parents abused her, that her parents tolerated her brother abusing her, that her parents denied her an education a place in life other then Sahd/sahm she will need a lot of help to get that anger under control i would assume. She might simply choose to not go there as an act of self preservation. Here is hoping that she can see her Sister do well, be a good and decent Mum, raise good and decent Children with a Husband who has a paying job outside of J.B influence and maybe get enough inspiration and courage from it that she and Bin will follow suit. But they day she admits the bullshit of her parents and confronts them on it will be a glorious day. I think she would be awesome in righteous fury. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 hour ago, Sabine said:

The day Jessa admits how much her parents abused her, that her parents tolerated her brother abusing her, that her parents denied her an education a place in life other then Sahd/sahm she will need a lot of help to get that anger under control i would assume. She might simply choose to not go there as an act of self preservation. Here is hoping that she can see her Sister do well, be a good and decent Mum, raise good and decent Children with a Husband who has a paying job outside of J.B influence and maybe get enough inspiration and courage from it that she and Bin will follow suit. But they day she admits the bullshit of her parents and confronts them on it will be a glorious day. I think she would be awesome in righteous fury. 

So true. And I would also like to see her leave her cult (and denomination, I guess) but not her faith. She would be a great preacher.

[SassyPants]

I would hope that in her growth process, Jessa could use whatever anger and resentment that she has stored for constructive purposes. She seems to have matured greatly since her marriage. Pretty telling that 19 YO Ben had more social and community skills and self awareness than Jessa. I wish JB and M could be held accountable for ALL the damage that they have caused to other people. 

[CanadianMamam]

On 6/29/2021 at 7:55 PM, ToriAmos said:

And to think that it's Jilly who's out in the world, living her best life, and it's rebellious Jessa-blessa who has doubled-down, lives on the Duggar compound with a boy-husband (employed by Duggar dad) and will be a faithful helpmeet and SAHM.

Didn't Michelle once say something about working harder with Jessa because she was.stubborn but once you convinced her of something, she was all in? I always felt the brainwashed her hard because she was the one they thought might escape. I still hope for a reckoning. 

[marmalade]

Dillards' statement regarding the cancellation of Counting On.

https://www.dillardfamily.com/2021/07/statement-on-counting-on-cancellation-better-late-than-never/

[CarrotCake]

28 minutes ago, marmalade said:

Dillards' statement regarding the cancellation of Counting On.

https://www.dillardfamily.com/2021/07/statement-on-counting-on-cancellation-better-late-than-never/

Anyone else first thought that ‘better late than never’ was about the cancellation itself and not about making a statement? ?

[marmalade]

5 minutes ago, CarrotCake said:

Anyone else first thought that ‘better late than never’ was about the cancellation itself and not about making a statement? ?

Yeah, that sentiment appeared nowhere in the actual statement. ?

[Exchange Atheist]

Maybe the headline is (supposed to be) the statement. In any case, this feels a bit like Jill posting a photo of herself wearing chucks on Inauguration Day. Might be a strong statement, might be nothing at all, might be deliberately misleading clickbait, who knows. 

[Smee]

I think it’s deliberate that the headline *might* be read as “show should have been cancelled years ago” or as “woah so sorry we didn’t respond to this, been busy”. And that if you didn’t read beyond the headline, you’d assume the former. I also think the anger and resentment that the Dillards feel towards JB & Michelle runs deeper than they publicly say, and despite Derrick’s tweetstorms, from their perspective they’re being very restrained and self-controlled and forgiving.

[SassyPants]

Derick wrote the statement. I think it reflects positively on the Dillards. Therapy is amazing!  Reality TV is toxic.

[BullyJBG]

The key is near the end; "our story is still being written". They may come out with more, they may not. I'm sure they're evaluating what's edifying to others, and what's just, as some said, "clickbait". The book may come eventually, but likely right now they want to focus on Derick passing the bar and being able to officially practice law. Oh yes, they build their house, so that makes it a BIT more unlikely that they'll move out of state, or out of country.

[HermioneSparrow]

Per Derick's IG he got vaccinated and I bet Jill did too.