Dillards 89: I'd Watch a Netflix Xpecial and so Would My Mom

[Bobology]

4 hours ago, I.lack.imagination said:

Oh I didn't know that! I knew wearing street clothes in the pool wasn't the done thing but I'd never investigated why.

There can also be a problem of laundry detergent in the pool. Maybe the fibers of most street clothes do not get rinsed of detergent as easily as swimsuit fabric, or maybe some washing machines don't rinse as well as they should. A friend found out the hard way and had to become very strict about no street clothes in her smallish pool. Her pool mechanics were not designed to deal with detergent and street clothes caused her a higher expense. She lifted her ban once while I was there and allowed an elderly woman to swim in her T-shirt. We saw actual suds around the lady, which was an extreme case.

[Grace]

3 hours ago, medimus said:

 

It was definitely a hygiene thing and not a policing thing. I never saw rashguards then, but girls (children) wearing just swim bottoms was normal.

 

I had some European friends whose little girls wore just the speedo bottoms and it always reminded me of the Coppertone baby! So sweet ☺️

[QuiverFullofBooks]

[AussieKrissy]

1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

What do you think he meant by this? Do you think he has an agenda? 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

13 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

What do you think he meant by this? Do you think he has an agenda? 

He seems to be slamming his in-laws, as was widely assumed in the comments, which he clearly reads. Not sure why he’s posting now, or what he might hope to accomplish beyond shit-stirring.

[Idlewild]

I think shit stirring is all Derick has right now. If he is setting himself up for a career in public law then the tell all will have to wait. They can’t do a puff piece disguised as a tell all because Jinger and Jeremy beat them to,it.

[just_ordinary]

On 5/20/2021 at 3:28 AM, Pleiades_06 said:

I was at a pool in Germany with my daughter, who was wearing a rash guard. The lifeguard came up and touched (!) her sleeve to “make sure it was a real suit and not street clothes.” They were very strict about policing especially the women’s swimwear, namely the Muslim women who were wearing longer suits, etc. It enraged me-it’s essentially taking away the freedom of women to wear what they feel comfortable in.

And don’t get me started on the French burkini ban.

These secularists think they are helping liberate women but in reality they are enforcing their own cultural and moral agendas.

That has to do with the fact that there is a big problem of people bringing in non-swimming clothes. It’s a safety risk as well. Checking that someone wears the appropriate materials is definitely preferable to banning certain styles. While I am all for wearing the swimming attire you like, I find it very irritating that there is a whole discussion about modesty going on. In retrospective young children have mostly been naked at the pool and the little ones wore a swimming nappy in the water. Older there were bathing suits and bikinis, with bathing suits more for older women. The rest often wore bikinis. No matter your figure. I do welcome a more diverse swimming attire world but I would think it sad if it is because people are more body conscious or think wearing a bikini is shameful. There has been a massive push back about showing skin in the last years and it doesn’t always feel as if it’s because people just prefer a different style but because it’s part of a modesty/purity mindset. Being a slut for wearing a bikini (maybe even padded). It should be able to just wear all of it without having to think twice.

[Pleiades_06]

6 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

That has to do with the fact that there is a big problem of people bringing in non-swimming clothes. It’s a safety risk as well. Checking that someone wears the appropriate materials is definitely preferable to banning certain styles. While I am all for wearing the swimming attire you like, I find it very irritating that there is a whole discussion about modesty going on. In retrospective young children have mostly been naked at the pool and the little ones wore a swimming nappy in the water. Older there were bathing suits and bikinis, with bathing suits more for older women. The rest often wore bikinis. No matter your figure. I do welcome a more diverse swimming attire world but I would think it sad if it is because people are more body conscious or think wearing a bikini is shameful. There has been a massive push back about showing skin in the last years and it doesn’t always feel as if it’s because people just prefer a different style but because it’s part of a modesty/purity mindset. Being a slut for wearing a bikini (maybe even padded). It should be able to just wear all of it without having to think twice.

It’s also because the white German public is unable to accept cultural norms outside of what they deem acceptable. Not all of us want to get naked and that’s fine.

And there are culturally responsive and sensitive ways to address what people are wearing at pools, without touching and without shaming them. In my experience, it’s not happening yet.

ETA: my daughter has a sensory issue that makes straps incredibly uncomfortable. She’s not choosing to wear swim tops for modesty. 

Edited May 26, 2021 by Pleiades_06

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I thought the issue here was touching the child's clothing without permission (I don't like being touched and certainly want people to ask before touching my daughter) rather than anyone being opposed to the worker checking to see that it was appropriate attire.

Eta: if your daughter was shamed for wearing her preferred appropriate swimming attire that is terrible.

Edited May 26, 2021 by GuineaPigCourtship

[Pleiades_06]

25 minutes ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I thought the issue here was touching the child's clothing without permission (I don't like being touched and certainly want people to ask before touching my daughter) rather than anyone being opposed to the worker checking to see that it was appropriate attire.

Eta: if your daughter was shamed for wearing her preferred appropriate swimming attire that is terrible.

Yes-that was the issue. It was how it was done and not why.

And yes, she felt shamed.

Sometimes people are more focused on “following the rules “ than how they treat people “breaking” the rules. 

ETA: my kids are half-Iranian and look it. I think Middle Easterners are routinely targeted for assumed rule violations.

Edited May 26, 2021 by Pleiades_06

[HerNameIsBuffy]

12 minutes ago, Pleiades_06 said:

Yes-that was the issue. It was how it was done and not why.

And yes, she felt shamed.

Sometimes people are more focused on “following the rules “ than how they treat people “breaking” the rules. 

ETA: my kids are half-Iranian and look it. I think Middle Easterners are routinely targeted for assumed rule violations.

Fwiw I would be furious if someone had touched one of my kids in this manner.  If they have a question about the clothing they can use their words and ask.

I also think as long as people wear clothing which is both safe for them and the pool then why they choose to be more covered is their own business.  If people want to be in bikinis fine, but some of us wouldn't be comfortable with that.  

10 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

In retrospective young children have mostly been naked at the pool and the little ones wore a swimming nappy in the water. Older there were bathing suits and bikinis, with bathing suits more for older women. The rest often wore bikinis. No matter your figure. I do welcome a more diverse swimming attire world but I would think it sad if it is because people are more body conscious or think wearing a bikini is shameful. There has been a massive push back about showing skin in the last years and it doesn’t always feel as if it’s because people just prefer a different style but because it’s part of a modesty/purity mindset. Being a slut for wearing a bikini (maybe even padded). It should be able to just wear all of it without having to think twice.

There is a huge difference between slut shaming people for wearing bikinis and not being in favor of public nudity of children.  IMO swimming naked in a private pool is one thing, but as someone who knew long before smuggar that there are people like him out there if swimming naked in a public pool was a thing here my kids wouldn't have swam at all.  It has nothing to do with modesty or purity, but caution.

[Pleiades_06]

15 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Fwiw I would be furious if someone had touched one of my kids in this manner.  If they have a question about the clothing they can use their words and ask.

I also think as long as people wear clothing which is both safe for them and the pool then why they choose to be more covered is their own business.  If people want to be in bikinis fine, but some of us wouldn't be comfortable with that.  

There is a huge difference between slut shaming people for wearing bikinis and not being in favor of public nudity of children.  IMO swimming naked in a private pool is one thing, but as someone who knew long before smuggar that there are people like him out there if swimming naked in a public pool was a thing here my kids wouldn't have swam at all.  It has nothing to do with modesty or purity, but caution.

Personally I’m always grossed out by small kids without swim diapers. My kids had their share of naked fun in our backyard where I could pick up after them. But I didn’t like it!

[mstee]

A co-worker and I happened to be having a slow day at work and started shopping for bathing suits for our daughters online. They are 3 and 4. I tend to get the rash guard style shirts so that I’m not having to apply sunscreen every 5 minutes while we’re outside. She wanted the same style- because “you have to train little girls to be modest and not tempting from the time they’re born”. Ugh. 

[xenobia]

Joy and Jill had lunch together. They both shared this in their instagram stories. I took a screenshot of Joy's post. She also tagged Jessa, and wrote "missed you @janamduggar". Perhaps Jessa was also there and took the photo? Either way, nice to see Joy and Jill hanging out. 

[lexiloumarie]

38 minutes ago, xenobia said:

Joy and Jill had lunch together. They both shared this in their instagram stories. I took a screenshot of Joy's post. She also tagged Jessa, and wrote "missed you @janamduggar". Perhaps Jessa was also there and took the photo? Either way, nice to see Joy and Jill hanging out. 

Jana wasn't there....the weekend of the Wissman family get together....huh. Funny. 

 

 

/s (I'll see myself out now )

[SassyPants]

More of the adult Duggars who work(Ed) the show should push back on JB for their money, just as the Dillards did. They should be free to live their lives, form beliefs, befriend whomever they wish , without JB’s input ore approval. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

13 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

More of the adult Duggars who work(Ed) the show should push back on JB for their money, just as the Dillards did. They should be free to live their lives, form beliefs, befriend whomever they wish , without JB’s input ore approval. 

I agree, but that would require the confidence to take the one time pay out and proceed to make it on their own.  If they are afraid they won't make it outside of JB's umbrella they won't risk losing financial security a moment before they have to.  People often stay where they are until it's uncomfortable not to do so.  

I am no fan of Derrick as a person, but it wasn't a risk for him in the same way.  He already had an actual education and knew he was smart enough for law school to get the career they wanted.  I doubt very much any of the gen 2 Duggars has that level of confidence in either their education or intellectual abilities, even if they aren't aware of the extent of their educational neglect.  

I could be wrong, JB and M seem to embody the Dunning-Krueger by proxy effect, so maybe some of the kids are similarly deluded, but I'd bet most of them are aware they'd have a lot of catch up to do in order to be competitive in the workplace.

[SassyPants]

43 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I agree, but that would require the confidence to take the one time pay out and proceed to make it on their own.  If they are afraid they won't make it outside of JB's umbrella they won't risk losing financial security a moment before they have to.  People often stay where they are until it's uncomfortable not to do so.  

I am no fan of Derrick as a person, but it wasn't a risk for him in the same way.  He already had an actual education and knew he was smart enough for law school to get the career they wanted.  I doubt very much any of the gen 2 Duggars has that level of confidence in either their education or intellectual abilities, even if they aren't aware of the extent of their educational neglect.  

I could be wrong, JB and M seem to embody the Dunning-Krueger by proxy effect, so maybe some of the kids are similarly deluded, but I'd bet most of them are aware they'd have a lot of catch up to do in order to be competitive in the workplace.

I think Jana, JD, Josiah, Jer and Justin have shown that they have skills outside of Duggarville or have married into a family that has provided them with opportunities. Austin also has skills and an active family business. The rest are pretty dependent on JB’s pocketbook. The bigger problem I see is the work ethic and willingness to show up and work hard, day after day, for decades on end. It does not appear that these young adults, most of whom have growing families, are willing to do what it takes to live and thrive in the real world. In the RW, and when you are employed and need to support a family, you have to show up, on time, and work hard even when you don’t really want to or would rather be at home or doing something else.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

I think Jana, JD, Josiah, Jer and Justin have shown that they have skills outside of Duggarville or have married into a family that has provided them with opportunities. Austin also has skills and an active family business. The rest are pretty dependent on JB’s pocketbook. The bigger problem I see is the work ethic and willingness to show up and work hard, day after day, for decades on end. It does not appear that these young adults, most of whom have growing families, are willing to do what it takes to live and thrive in the real world. In the RW, and when you are employed and need to support a family, you have to show up, on time, and work hard even when you don’t really want to or would rather be at home or doing something else.

I have no idea what skills any of them have outside of Jana gardening and decorating and JD I believe is a pilot, if I'm not mistaken  

If there is a market for what Jana does I'm assuming it will be based on the Duggar name, because it's really hard to make a living out of picking out signs from Hobby Lobby otherwise.  While JD does fly mommy and daddy's plane he does have potential to work for another employer so I think he's in the best position to do so.  

I know Justin moved down with his inlaws, but what skills do Josiah and Jer have? 

[SassyPants]

3 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I have no idea what skills any of them have outside of Jana gardening and decorating and JD I believe is a pilot, if I'm not mistaken  

If there is a market for what Jana does I'm assuming it will be based on the Duggar name, because it's really hard to make a living out of picking out signs from Hobby Lobby otherwise.  While JD does fly mommy and daddy's plane he does have potential to work for another employer so I think he's in the best position to do so.  

I know Justin moved down with his inlaws, but what skills do Josiah and Jer have? 

Like JD, they are both pilots. I think Jer might even be a certified instructor, but I could be wrong.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Like JD, they are both pilots. I think Jer might even be a certified instructor, but I could be wrong.

I've asked this before, but what the hell is with fundies and planes?

[Jinder Roles]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

I think Jana, JD, Josiah, Jer and Justin have shown that they have skills outside of Duggarville or have married into a family that has provided them with opportunities. Austin also has skills and an active family business. The rest are pretty dependent on JB’s pocketbook. The bigger problem I see is the work ethic and willingness to show up and work hard, day after day, for decades on end. It does not appear that these young adults, most of whom have growing families, are willing to do what it takes to live and thrive in the real world. In the RW, and when you are employed and need to support a family, you have to show up, on time, and work hard even when you don’t really want to or would rather be at home or doing something else.

I actually think if they learn how to make the most profit off of their social media presence, brand well and do partnerships they won’t need steady jobs. 

I’ve come to the recent conclusion that hard work doesn’t equal a thriving job. Yes, you have to do basics like show up on time but the people who get promoted and praised in work spaces are often those who are seen as palatable (read privilege) and have good networks. I know of so many people get promoted over the more deserving worker. It’s always a case of power and status quo. 
 

The poorest people in this work work the hardest and the richest make money off them. 
 

I really think if the Duggar kids had needed to work grueling jobs to survive, they would. But they have the privilege of  never needing to. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, lexiloumarie said:

Jana wasn't there....the weekend of the Wissman family get together....huh. Funny. 

 

 

/s (I'll see myself out now )

Lol, I assumed the same thing.

[Jinder Roles]

I wonder how long the Jana/Stephen engagement will be postponed due to josh. 
 

I kinda want to see a Jana wedding special *runs and hides* 

Edited May 28, 2021 by Jinder Roles

[fundiefriday]

I think that not having the kids learn trades was a lose/lose for JB.  I haven't seen a ton of the Bates' show but I have seen segments that show the kids at college and working in different trades.  If JB had allowed this, then the show would have been more interesting and the siblings would have some legitimate skills.  It also would have helped them appear more normal.  (Appear is key since there's nothing normal about their beliefs and cult).