Dillards 89: I'd Watch a Netflix Xpecial and so Would My Mom

[Expectopatronus]

21 hours ago, BernRul said:

There definitely is a "gender agenda " or whatever term other posters used. Its the agenda of forcing gender roles on newborns just because they were born with certain genitals.

I just had a baby. As soon as everyone found out she's a girl, I got sent a bunch of frilly pink shit (I hate pink). A doctor jokingly asked my husband if he bought a shotgun (a joke i hate for many reasons). Someone mentioned boyfriends. I keep hearing how pretty she is (to be fair she totally is).

What i actually know about my baby at this point:

She learned how to smile. 

She loves to eat and gets into a shark feeding frenzy when hungry. 

She loves kicking, tries  to hold up her head, and has a strong grip. She is active and physical. 

None of her actual personality traits or baby habits indicate any gender, except the physical activity,  which would be traditionally gendered as male if you had to assign a gender to that (which i think is dumb regardless). Yet no one notices that my baby is strong and active. Instead she's "pretty."

I find it ironic that TERFS claim to care about girls and feminism, but fail to realize that loosened gender roles, particularly the acceptance of gender fluidity, non binary, and trans people, will decrease sexism against girls. 

One of my favorite things about GEN Z is their disdain for traditional gender roles. Yeah it might be scary or weird to us older generations (jeez as a millennial  I'm so not used to being "old") but it gives me hope for my kid's  future and the world they'll grow up in. 

This!! My daughter is 17 months, active,loud,  opposed to sleep, determined and curious. I do put her in girly clothes because I like it and once she’s old enough to have an opinion, I won’t get to pick her outfits but nothing about her screams “girl” or “boy”. Whoever she is will be just fine. I joke that she can do whatever she wants as long as she gets a Ph D first but seriously whatever she identifies as, whoever she loves and whatever she wants to do will be fine. Whether she’s wearing a princess dress and playing in the mud, colouring wearing jeans or like my friend’s kid; insists on wearing a bathing suit and stockings at all times will be up to her. 

[Nothing if not critical]

In my opinion, as long as you don't actively suppress your kids' gender expression (the way fundies do), they know pretty much exactly what they are and what they want.

I've always been more interested in books and geek stuff than in any traditionally feminine pursuits, and my younger daughter is much the same. Not trans or gender fluid (as far as I can tell), just not "typically feminine". Which is fine with me.
My big girl is super into make-up and fashion, has a great sense of style and hates anything geeky or, as she calls it, "cringe". She's just super girly and always has been. I don't always get her, but that's who she is, and I'm fine with it, too. We all regularly ask her for fashion advice, so we all profit :).

And for the record, if one of my girls should turn out to be gay or bi or trans, I'd do everything in my power to support them. The last thing anybody needs in that situation is parents who make their life harder than it already is.

Oh, and @BernRul: I agree about the shotgun jokes - I just hate them sooooo much.

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

2 hours ago, Nothing if not critical said:

In my opinion, as long as you don't actively suppress your kids' gender expression (the way fundies do), they know pretty much exactly what they are and what they want.

I've always been more interested in books and geek stuff than in any traditionally feminine pursuits, and my younger daughter is much the same. Not trans or gender fluid (as far as I can tell), just not "typically feminine". Which is fine with me.
My big girl is super into make-up and fashion, has a great sense of style and hates anything geeky or, as she calls it, "cringe". She's just super girly and always has been. I don't always get her, but that's who she is, and I'm fine with it, too. We all regularly ask her for fashion advice, so we all profit :).

And for the record, if one of my girls should turn out to be gay or bi or trans, I'd do everything in my power to support them. The last thing anybody needs in that situation is parents who make their life harder than it already is.

Oh, and @BernRul: I agree about the shotgun jokes - I just hate them sooooo much.

May I ask what the shotgun "joke" is? I'm not from the USA. 

[FiveAcres]

1 minute ago, BemusedByFundamentalism said:

May I ask what the shotgun "joke" is? I'm not from the USA. 

"Shotgun weddings" is a tired old meme where a woman gets pregnant, and her male relatives force the impregnating man to marry her using a shotgun. 

[JanasTattooParlor]

1 minute ago, BemusedByFundamentalism said:

May I ask what the shotgun "joke" is? I'm not from the USA. 

It’s a sexist joke that says if a dad has a daughter they need to get their shotguns ready to defend their daughter from all the boys that’ll come after her once she’s old enough to date. A lot of times, dads will joke to a teenage boyfriend that he’s got his shotgun ready or will have a bullet with the boy’s name on it if he hurts their daughter. My dad liked to joke that he would only clean his gun when my boyfriends came over so that he could intimidate them. 

[purple_summer]

6 minutes ago, BemusedByFundamentalism said:

May I ask what the shotgun "joke" is? I'm not from the USA. 

Basically the idea that dads/older brothers have to be on standby with a shotgun at all times to protect their delicate womenz from the evil menz. 

[viii]

My sister and her wife are raising their boy/girl twins pretty gender neutral, but it’s funny how some kids are just more drawn to “stereotypical” things. My SIL hates pink and dressed my niece very “boyish” but once my niece was old enough to have an opinion, it’s been dresses and frills galore. She wears an Elsa dress everyday and plays with dolls and a little kitchen. My nephew wears a spiderman costume and loves trucks and building things. He also loves his mermaid blanket but damned if they didn’t fall into some stereotypes all on their own ??‍♀️ That’s the joy of letting them choose though - they can choose this now and have the freedom to change their minds as they grow and evolve. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Yeah shotgun jokes are pretty gross and cringy. They aren't even remotely limited to fundie culture. Years ago, I saw Keifer Sutherland on a late night show talking about brandishing his shotgun when his daughter's date came to pick her up. 

[fluffernutter]

Ugh regarding the shotgun thing- I live in a conservative area and it’s popular during prom pics for dads with daughters to get out their guns and take photos with the young couple. ? I sometimes really hate where we live. 

[FiveAcres]

9 minutes ago, viii said:

My sister and her wife are raising their boy/girl twins pretty gender neutral, but it’s funny how some kids are just more drawn to “stereotypical” things. My SIL hates pink and dressed my niece very “boyish” but once my niece was old enough to have an opinion, it’s been dresses and frills galore. She wears an Elsa dress everyday and plays with dolls and a little kitchen. My nephew wears a spiderman costume and loves trucks and building things. He also loves his mermaid blanket but damned if they didn’t fall into some stereotypes all on their own ??‍♀️ That’s the joy of letting them choose though - they can choose this now and have the freedom to change their minds as they grow and evolve. 

Now I have this lovely mental photo of a youngster wearing a superman outfit while wrapped in a mermaid blanket. Thank you. 

[viii]

12 minutes ago, FiveAcres said:

Now I have this lovely mental photo of a youngster wearing a superman outfit while wrapped in a mermaid blanket. Thank you. 

That’s a pretty apt description! It’s a mermaid blanket shaped like a tail so he wears it like fins and then Spiderman on top ? He’s such a treasure and I miss them all so much ? damn covid. 

[Sops2]

She looks good and she looks happy.

[Maggie Mae]

The idea of (toxic) men who just happen to be cleaning their rifle or admiring their arsonal when a 17 year old drops by to pick up the 17 year old daughter for a date or prom is so prevalent it's in movies, on tv, in video games. It's dumb. You can google it and find memes and YouTube "prank" videos. Definitely not just fundamental Christian culture. 

On babies: a coworker had a baby boy. He is one of the odder looking babies in the world. Everyone remarked that he was beautiful and had pretty eyelashes and was very happy and content. My hope is that we've started to come around to beautiful being less gendered and babies being treated like babies instead of boy babies and girl babies. It's a slow process though. 

 

[TN-peach]

Good for Jill and Derek. They are not letting recent events prevent them from celebrating today. Graduating from law school is a big deal. Because it is a doctorate, he will get “hooded.”  I know at my graduation they professors made it a point to also congratulate the family members because it was a team effort graduate. For three years, your loved one does nothing but lives and breathes law. It is all they can talk about because it is all that their head can have room  for. Every discussion somehow becomes a debate about law or about what happened in class that day. Your family will know all of the gossip in the school. As one of my professors called it “law school is middle school on crack.”

Long story short - good for Jill. She is showing her face knowing people will be looking at her and she is celebrating a huge milestone with her husband. 

[HeartsAFundie]

24 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

The idea of (toxic) men who just happen to be cleaning their rifle or admiring their arsonal when a 17 year old drops by to pick up the 17 year old daughter for a date or prom is so prevalent it's in movies, on tv, in video games. It's dumb. You can google it and find memes and YouTube "prank" videos. Definitely not just fundamental Christian culture. 

 

Quote

On babies: a coworker had a baby boy. He is one of the odder looking babies in the world. Everyone remarked that he was beautiful and had pretty eyelashes and was very happy and content. My hope is that we've started to come around to beautiful being less gendered and babies being treated like babies instead of boy babies and girl babies. It's a slow process though. 

There's actually a country song called "Cleaning This Gun" sung by Rodney Atkins.  Maybe Lawson Bates will cover it one of these days:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cM42nG7Tjgs

Regarding the second part of Maggie Mae's post:  I thought my son was beautiful at birth-he was so big he looked like a TV newborn-and used that word frequently to describe him.  Gender with respect to the word "beautiful" never even entered my mind.   

 

 

Edited May 8, 2021 by HeartsAFundie

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

Thank you so much everybody for explaining that phenomenon to me. I learned something new today. I had only heard of the term 'shotgun' in American movies and series when people want to claim the passenger seat. Now I learned the shotgun joke is also something that literally is about real guns, yikes. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

2 hours ago, TN-peach said:

Because it is a doctorate, he will get “hooded.”  

My law school graduation didn’t involve hooding. I think most universities reserve hoods for PhDs.

[atheistjd]

My law school graduation didn’t involve hooding. I think most universities reserve hoods for PhDs.

Interesting... mine definitely did and I always thought it was for all terminal degrees. Wonder if it’s regional?

[libgirl2]

3 hours ago, Sops2 said:

She looks good and she looks happy.

She looks fantastic. Rock that red girl! 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, libgirl2 said:

She looks fantastic. Rock that red girl! 

She does.  Good for her not letting this get in the way of her happiness on a special day for their family.

 

[Tatar-tot]

On what hand it has got to be giving Jill some relief that Josh is finally facing issues that appear to have been going on for a long time (age 15 to 30 plus).

 

I am glad Amy and Jill have bonded.  Amy seems like a kind, fun & loving person - definitely someone you would want for a best friend.  Jill’s aunt, Deanna, seems to care a lot about Jill too. 

Edited May 8, 2021 by Tatar-tot

[front hugs > duggs]

I can’t believe it’s been three years of Derrick in law school, but also the pandemic has warped my sense of time. Many here predicted he would never complete his law degree. I hope he uses his degree to 1)support his family and 2) not make anything worse for those already disenfranchised. 
 

Do you have a focus or concentration in law school? Do we know what Derricks is?

[Sops2]

Jill's husband becoming a lawyer, while Josh said he wanted to be one...

Also, the timing of Derick's graduation has come at just the right time. - it's a big middle finger up to JimBob!  I bet he's fuming.

Good on you  Derick- we didn 't think you would stick it out but you did.

Here's a screenshot from the streaming of the graduation ceremony- all the graduates had masks on, but took them off temporarily for a photograph

 

Edited May 8, 2021 by Sops2
Bad grammar

[SassyPants]

I knew he’d graduate. It seems he has snapped back to reality. Now he needs to get a job and stick with it. He needs to be the role model of decent, engaged, contributing  citizen and neighbor that Jill has seemingly never had.

[BadMurphy]

Yeah the timing of the graduation is especially delicious.