Jinjer 56: Oh My Stars It's a Reality Show Book! How Surprising - Not

[Topaz]

The thought of Jeremy emailing the whole campus with the oh so important news that he’s become a Christian is what’s going to get me through this Monday that was shaping up to be a challenge. 
Thanks @OldFadedStar

[MaryOrMartha]

I watched the live they did yesterday or the day before. The comments were absolutely brutal with trolls in full force, and it appeared as though they weren't l actively reading them, but at a couple of points during the video it looked like Jinger was clenching her jaw, biting her tongue and her eyes looked teary. I have a feeling she glanced at the comments.

[Rachel333]

This doesn't negate Jeremy's pretentiousness, but his mom is probably a really excellent violinist. She studied under Dorothy DeLay, which is very impressive. 

[Idlewild]

His mum does seem very nice and is no doubt talented. I keep thinking of Jeremy as like Lady Catherine in Pride and Prejudice’ had I learned to play piano, I would have been excellent’

[JMO]

9 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

I watched the live they did yesterday or the day before. The comments were absolutely brutal with trolls in full force, and it appeared as though they weren't l actively reading them, but at a couple of points during the video it looked like Jinger was clenching her jaw, biting her tongue and her eyes looked teary. I have a feeling she glanced at the comments.

I'm assuming that they were trolling about Josh?  

[Satan'sFortress]

22 hours ago, OldFadedStar said:

Right? Him emailing his entire school to say he is a Christian is the most Jeremy thing I’ve read in this book 

 

Unless it was "Ben, take a picture of me emailing the entire school to say that I'm  a Christian."

[OldFadedStar]

Chapter 8 Strategic Visits 

Warning- this chapter is from May-October 2015. That’s mostly why I’m bypassing chapters 3-7 for now. 
 

Spoiler

Strategic visits 

Jeremy was debating Bible with Bessa at their house JB comes to talk and something was wrong

Change to Jinger point of view 

Jinger was packing clothes since JB pulled in family to tell them that “the worst trial in our family history” was public knowledge. “One of my siblings had made sinful choices but it had all been years ago. It had been awful but we had dealt with it as a family. We sought the lord, took necessary steps to move towards healing and offered up our forgiveness now that it was out in Public, the old wound was open again, raw, painful” 

Jinger did not want this public.

 

Jeremys POV

Now full time pastor in Laredo and living there. He wanted to visit Bessa in summer 2015 but it wasn’t a good time. Bessa visited Houston for an event and went to visit Jeremy. Bessa were trying to find Jeremy a wife as he wanted one. Jessa brings up Jinger, Jeremy said let me pray about it then was interested after watching her testimony on you tube. There was a guy in Florida interested in Jinger. This guy has a family connection to the Duggar’s 

 

Back to Jinger

In October Jessa asks Jinger if she is interested in Jeremy and Jinger hadn’t considered Jeremy before because there was no way he would be into her. 

 

Back to Jeremy 

Jeremy traveled for Bessa baby shower. He wanted to get to know Jinger better 

 

Flip flop, back to Jinger

Jinger had a flight to FL for a prison ministry same time as Jeremys flight back to TX so instead of rolling out of bed and hopping in Bens car, she put on makeup and did her hair because Jeremy.  Ben and Jeremy talk in car, Jinger is silent. Jeremy ends up sitting with Jinger at her gate NO CHAPERONE NOTED. They talked theology. Jeremy took her phone and inputted his blog url because he wants her to read it. She didn’t because she didn’t want to stir up unnecessary desire in her heart. 

 

[OldFadedStar]

Chapters 9-10. I feel there isn’t any super new info but there kinda is. 

Spoiler

On a mission 

Jinger totally repacked her suitcase for trip to Honduras once she found out Jeremy was coming. She bought thrifted clothes for it even. Jinger told JB she might be interested in Jeremy. He told her “well don’t get your hopes up or anything, you never know” 

 

Jeremys turn to bore us

Jessa told Jeremy to go on this mission trip to get to know Jinger better and the whole family. 

 

He asked Jinger if she had read his blog and she said no. Gut check to Jeremy. Obviously she isn’t interested. He was upset he spent thousands of dollars on that trip and she couldn’t even click a link 

 

But throughout the trip they were connecting and by the end, he asked JB to get to know her. JB said you’ll get to know me first. 

 

Jinger “in my family you didn’t just call or text with a guy when you weren’t in a relationship with special approval from my dad. That meant unless Jeremy visited Arkansas I wouldn’t get to talk to him until dad gave his blessing” 

 

A love worth fighting for 

And here is the 50 pages of questions from JB to Jeremy. How he became a believer. Theology, parenting, finances. “They were the kinds of questions that would save married couples a lot of pain and heartache if they asked them before they walked down the aisle”. Jeremys competed application was 107 pages.  Jeremy and JB talked every Friday going over the answers. JB invited Jeremy to AR and they went to lunch with JB pastor to discuss theology. JB was not concerned about Jeremys past but his theology 

 

And now time for Jingers thoughts 

Jinger has JB on find my friends on iPhone. JB didn’t tell Jinger about this lunch. Jeremy arrived at TTH at 5pm 

 

Jeremy 

Jeremys theology was a hiccup for JB. JB would send Jeremy lectures to listen to before their weekly phone call. These phone calls went on for months. Jeremy was still not allowed to really talk to Jinger. Seems if he was there he could. 4.5 months into this, JB asks for Jeremys dads number. Then his pastors. Then his moms. 

Then JB said no Jeremy you can’t pursue Jinger because of theology. Jeremy asked if they could talk about it and so the weekly phone calls continued. 

 

Jinger 

Jinger was claiming to have loved Jeremy at this point. So much for doing courting to protect against broken heart pieces. 

 

Jeremy

Went to a conference with the Duggar’s and everything seemed to be finally going great and then JB tells Jeremy that Jinger isn’t interested in him... 

 

[AussieKrissy]

47 minutes ago, OldFadedStar said:

Chapter 8 Strategic Visits 

Warning- this chapter is from May-October 2015. That’s mostly why I’m bypassing chapters 3-7 for now. 
 

  Hide contents

Strategic visits 

Jeremy was debating Bible with Bessa at their house JB comes to talk and something was wrong

Change to Jinger point of view 

Jinger was packing clothes since JB pulled in family to tell them that “the worst trial in our family history” was public knowledge. “One of my siblings had made sinful choices but it had all been years ago. It had been awful but we had dealt with it as a family. We sought the lord, took necessary steps to move towards healing and offered up our forgiveness now that it was out in Public, the old wound was open again, raw, painful” 

Jinger did not want this public.

 

Jeremys POV

Now full time pastor in Laredo and living there. He wanted to visit Bessa in summer 2015 but it wasn’t a good time. Bessa visited Houston for an event and went to visit Jeremy. Bessa were trying to find Jeremy a wife as he wanted one. Jessa brings up Jinger, Jeremy said let me pray about it then was interested after watching her testimony on you tube. There was a guy in Florida interested in Jinger. This guy has a family connection to the Duggar’s 

 

Back to Jinger

In October Jessa asks Jinger if she is interested in Jeremy and Jinger hadn’t considered Jeremy before because there was no way he would be into her. 

 

Back to Jeremy 

Jeremy traveled for Bessa baby shower. He wanted to get to know Jinger better 

 

Flip flop, back to Jinger

Jinger had a flight to FL for a prison ministry same time as Jeremys flight back to TX so instead of rolling out of bed and hopping in Bens car, she put on makeup and did her hair because Jeremy.  Ben and Jeremy talk in car, Jinger is silent. Jeremy ends up sitting with Jinger at her gate NO CHAPERONE NOTED. They talked theology. Jeremy took her phone and inputted his blog url because he wants her to read it. She didn’t because she didn’t want to stir up unnecessary desire in her heart. 

 

shall we  all send you money for wine to cope with this drivel?

Any guesses on the florida kid?

 

11 minutes ago, OldFadedStar said:

Chapters 9-10. I feel there isn’t any super new info but there kinda is. 

  Hide contents

On a mission 

Jinger totally repacked her suitcase for trip to Honduras once she found out Jeremy was coming. She bought thrifted clothes for it even. Jinger told JB she might be interested in Jeremy. He told her “well don’t get your hopes up or anything, you never know” 

 

Jeremys turn to bore us

Jessa told Jeremy to go on this mission trip to get to know Jinger better and the whole family. 

 

He asked Jinger if she had read his blog and she said no. Gut check to Jeremy. Obviously she isn’t interested. He was upset he spent thousands of dollars on that trip and she couldn’t even click a link 

 

But throughout the trip they were connecting and by the end, he asked JB to get to know her. JB said you’ll get to know me first. 

 

Jinger “in my family you didn’t just call or text with a guy when you weren’t in a relationship with special approval from my dad. That meant unless Jeremy visited Arkansas I wouldn’t get to talk to him until dad gave his blessing” 

 

A love worth fighting for 

And here is the 50 pages of questions from JB to Jeremy. How he became a believer. Theology, parenting, finances. “They were the kinds of questions that would save married couples a lot of pain and heartache if they asked them before they walked down the aisle”. Jeremys competed application was 107 pages.  Jeremy and JB talked every Friday going over the answers. JB invited Jeremy to AR and they went to lunch with JB pastor to discuss theology. JB was not concerned about Jeremys past but his theology 

 

And now time for Jingers thoughts 

Jinger has JB on find my friends on iPhone. JB didn’t tell Jinger about this lunch. Jeremy arrived at TTH at 5pm 

 

Jeremy 

Jeremys theology was a hiccup for JB. JB would send Jeremy lectures to listen to before their weekly phone call. These phone calls went on for months. Jeremy was still not allowed to really talk to Jinger. Seems if he was there he could. 4.5 months into this, JB asks for Jeremys dads number. Then his pastors. Then his moms. 

Then JB said no Jeremy you can’t pursue Jinger because of theology. Jeremy asked if they could talk about it and so the weekly phone calls continued. 

 

Jinger 

Jinger was claiming to have loved Jeremy at this point. So much for doing courting to protect against broken heart pieces. 

 

Jeremy

Went to a conference with the Duggar’s and everything seemed to be finally going great and then JB tells Jeremy that Jinger isn’t interested in him... 

 

Holy Fuck who does JB think he is what a fucking TWAT WAFFLE yes i know i know we all know this but this fucking enrages me!!!!! fuck off she is an adult. 

All to fucking hard jeremy should have walked away rather than walk into that shit show..... You aint normal to tolerate that unless you (im implying you Jerm) are looking for a wife who will move from under Daddy's thumb to yours. fuck knuckle. 

Jinger shpuld have fuckin run from JB and jerm!

I have pms i always get more ragey on here then!

[Idlewild]

The revelation to me is that Jinger clearly had a smart phone and access to the internet - the intro to their show always claimed they restricted their access to anything like that. She wasn’t married and didn’t run a business.

JB clearly had doubts about Jeremy- I wonder if the revelations hadn’t happened in 2015 he would have flat rejected him- but needed some good publicity and someone from a more mainstream background to keep the show rolling and stop them looking like complete weirdos.

[AussieKrissy]

19 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

The revelation to me is that Jinger clearly had a smart phone and access to the internet - the intro to their show always claimed they restricted their access to anything like that. She wasn’t married and didn’t run a business.

JB clearly had doubts about Jeremy- I wonder if the revelations hadn’t happened in 2015 he would have flat rejected him- but needed some good publicity and someone from a more mainstream background to keep the show rolling and stop them looking like complete weirdos.

I had a theory and it others did bandy it around too that Jb married off the girls suspected of being redacted because they could be viewed as used goods. Hold on a little minute while I vomit in my mouth typing that. 
I know that there was one sister still underage that he took down just before she was 18 to get something done that only she could because she was still a minor  my memory is a bit bygone on it  

 

[AprilQuilt]

On 5/9/2021 at 2:23 AM, backyard sylph said:

But they could go round the country with a Ford van, preaching on market day.

I don't know you, but I love you. One o' thy Ford vans.

Edited May 11, 2021 by AprilQuilt

[MaryOrMartha]

19 hours ago, JMO said:

I'm assuming that they were trolling about Josh?  

Yeah, but also saying things like:

- Jeremy, no one wants to hear your chapters

- Jeremy, I banged Michelle, is that a sin? ?

- Boringggggg

- No one cares

- No one wants to hear about your failed soccer career

- Jeremy looks like whats his name from Colorado who killed his wife and 2 daughters

 

[fundiefan]

Jeremy jumped through JB's hoops yet wasn't even allowed to talk directly to Jinger?

Um, that pretty much solidifies what I've thought of most all the Duggar girls husbands. They want a wilted flower they can control. End. Of. Story. They aren't in love, they don't want a shared life, they want a stunted little girl they can mold into the wife they want, not a wife who is actually a person. 

I do not understand at all how they thing these are impressive things to talk about. He sent back 100+ pages of answers - that's not impressive, Jeremy, that's kind of sick. 

Seriously, if I had a kid who was interested in a girl & said girl's father said you had to go through him first, I'd be having some serious conversations with said kid. If it came down to it, I'd  send THEM a f*cking questionnaire asking them to tell me why you think you're good enough for my son & why you think he has to subject himself to JB's incessant, invasive BS?

Just the fact that they make this entire scenario out to be something oh so special is disturbing. 

[OldFadedStar]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

Jeremy jumped through JB's hoops yet wasn't even allowed to talk directly to Jinger?

Honestly Ben moving to Arkansas to persue Jessa makes a lot more sense now. He is reformed too and if he was talking to JB about all of this and wanted to be around Jessa, it makes sense. If Jeremy was in Arkansas it appears that he would have been allowed to talk to Jinger more. He could talk to her if he was where she was. 

[fundiefan]

9 minutes ago, OldFadedStar said:

Honestly Ben moving to Arkansas to persue Jessa makes a lot more sense now. He is reformed too and if he was talking to JB about all of this and wanted to be around Jessa, it makes sense. If Jeremy was in Arkansas it appears that he would have been allowed to talk to Jinger more. He could talk to her if he was where she was. 

And that is even creepier. Moving to a state to be closer to someone you want to date court but don't yet have daddy's approval. So your whole family moves states so possibly, maybe you will be allowed near the girl you like. 

The entire process / Duggar shit show is all kinds of f*cked up disturbing. 

[livinginthelight]

I wonder what the "theology difference" was. Could it be "The husband is the head of the household" vs "The eldest male rules the whole extended family?" I'm thinking Jeremy probably didn't show enough deference to JB.

[OldFadedStar]

3 minutes ago, livinginthelight said:

I wonder what the "theology difference" was. Could it be "The husband is the head of the household" vs "The eldest male rules the whole extended family?" I'm thinking Jeremy probably didn't show enough deference to JB.

He mentioned something about reformed theology. Let me skim and see if I can understand enough to share here

[Coconut Flan]

24 minutes ago, OldFadedStar said:

Honestly Ben moving to Arkansas to persue Jessa makes a lot more sense now.

Ben didn't move to Arkansas.  He and his family already lived in Hot Springs. His family drove up to go to church with the Duggars and that's how he wrangled the introduction to Jessa.  His parents were completely complicit in starting the relationship.  

[SassyPants]

10 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Ben didn't move to Arkansas.  He and his family already lived in Hot Springs. His family drove up to go to church with the Duggars and that's how he wrangled the introduction to Jessa.  His parents were completely complicit in starting the relationship.  

And wasn’t it nearly a 3 hour drive, one way? That told me all I needed to know about Ben’s parents. Who drives their minor kid to stalk a Duggar, and then let’s him move into their house? 

[DalmatianCat]

29 minutes ago, OldFadedStar said:

Honestly Ben moving to Arkansas to persue Jessa makes a lot more sense now. He is reformed too and if he was talking to JB about all of this and wanted to be around Jessa, it makes sense. If Jeremy was in Arkansas it appears that he would have been allowed to talk to Jinger more. He could talk to her if he was where she was. 

JB was probably worried one of his girls would end up with a Josh and the questionnaire was his way of trying to prevent it. 
 

12 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

 

Any guesses on the florida kid?

I vaguely remember the Duggars visited Pensacola Christian College in Florida briefly sometime in between Jessa’s wedding and the scandals and I wondered if they were thinking of sending one of the kids there (still surprises me that not one of them has ended up there). If Jinger had a potential suitor, that trip makes more sense.

 

27 minutes ago, livinginthelight said:

I wonder what the "theology difference" was. Could it be "The husband is the head of the household" vs "The eldest male rules the whole extended family?" I'm thinking Jeremy probably didn't show enough deference to JB.

Jeremy probably leans Calvinist and the Duggars probably lean Armenian (theology terms, not ethnicity). Just Google the terms and there will be a lot.

[FluffySnowball]

On 5/9/2021 at 4:18 PM, QuiverFullofBooks said:

It turns out that the reason why “Come Thou Fount” was such a big deal for them was that Jim Bob heard someone singing it while he was trying to decide if the theological differences were a deal-breaker, and he took it as a sign. (Don’t ask me to explain the theology involved.)

The story in itself sounds funny, but can you imagine having to live under such a headship?

How horrible it must have been for Jinger (regardless of whether she was aware of that or not) to be controlled by someone like JB. 

[JMO]

Wow.  So we have been waiting for a tell all book and while they are framing it as "This is totally normal" this does confirm and reveal a lot.  I would love similar books from other couples.  Thanks for the recaps @OldFadedStar!  Unbelievable.  JB is truly as dictatorial as we all believed and Jeremy is just as much of an ass. 

[viii]

Jim Bob sending 50 questions and Jeremy sending back 100+ pages of answers makes this whole thing appear like a business transaction. 

[OldFadedStar]

1 hour ago, viii said:

Jim Bob sending 50 questions and Jeremy sending back 100+ pages of answers makes this whole thing appear like a business transaction. 

“The email included an attached word document. I opened it to find 50 pages of questions. Not 50 questions 50 pages. My eyes widen as I scroll through what looked like the longest job application I’ve ever filled out. He said he wanted to go spend some time getting to know me unless document shows he wasn’t kidding.… This wasn’t something I could knock out in a few moments this was serious and I approached it that way Mr. Duggar wanted to know me if he wanted me to answer all these questions I’d do it. “ 

Edited May 11, 2021 by OldFadedStar