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Jinjer 56: Oh My Stars It's a Reality Show Book! How Surprising - Not


Coconut Flan

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The Duggar brand is tainted - it’s not the fault of the siblings and those who are Josh’s previous victims are entitled to feel aggrieved that they are tainted by association. However they are adults capable of earning their own living without relying on being a Duggar or married to one. 
The fact is it is clear JB & M are bankrolling the defence of a man who enjoys watching children being tortured. Even if they don’t want to step away in their personal lives, the adult kids will have to distance themselves if they want to remain ‘public figures’.

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12 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

The Duggar brand is tainted - it’s not the fault of the siblings and those who are Josh’s previous victims are entitled to feel aggrieved that they are tainted by association. However they are adults capable of earning their own living without relying on being a Duggar or married to one. 
The fact is it is clear JB & M are bankrolling the defence of a man who enjoys watching children being tortured. Even if they don’t want to step away in their personal lives, the adult kids will have to distance themselves if they want to remain ‘public figures’.

There is zero reason at this particular moment, for any of these folks to have a media presence or to be paid public figures.

It’s very easy to say they should get jobs. What kind of job could Joe, Josiah or Ben get that could comfortably support their ever growing families? Major changes would and will need to be made. It’s a huge hill for people who have on par with a 5-6th grade education-

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@SassyPants I agree there’s no reason other than it is easy money and they like the lifestyle.
Most large fundie families are not well off- you see gofundme appeals for medical bills and other difficulties because they cannot  afford insurance.

The Duggar’s “ministry” is to make their lifestyle look achievable- all the shite about buying used and making their own shampoo. In reality the money from the show and the subsequent perks of fame are why they are able to sustain a large family so now they shill shampoo on Instagram rather than make it.

Ben has a job as a minister- if Jessa wants to continue as a SAHM then he’ll have to live like a minister; Joe and Josiah- are they the ones with real estate licences? Then they’ll have to get down to hard graft especially if Joe and Kendra are going to have a baby every year. In the words of my late mum, they will have to cut their cloth according to their situation. 

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1 hour ago, Idlewild said:

@SassyPants I agree there’s no reason other than it is easy money and they like the lifestyle.
Most large fundie families are not well off- you see gofundme appeals for medical bills and other difficulties because they cannot  afford insurance.

The Duggar’s “ministry” is to make their lifestyle look achievable- all the shite about buying used and making their own shampoo. In reality the money from the show and the subsequent perks of fame are why they are able to sustain a large family so now they shill shampoo on Instagram rather than make it.

Ben has a job as a minister- if Jessa wants to continue as a SAHM then he’ll have to live like a minister; Joe and Josiah- are they the ones with real estate licences? Then they’ll have to get down to hard graft especially if Joe and Kendra are going to have a baby every year. In the words of my late mum, they will have to cut their cloth according to their situation. 

Now that reality, the one where they show us the transition to actual life might be one worth watching. I think it will be harder for them than most. Most of those kids were isolated away and only exposed to others who lived the Gothard life. A life where parents never headed out to work for decades on end. They have zero what that even looks or feels like, let alone getting compensated based on your skill/knowledge...it’s going to be a rude awakening-

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1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

It’s very easy to say they should get jobs. What kind of job could Joe, Josiah or Ben get that could comfortably support their ever growing families?

They had a towing business, Idk if they still do.  Something like that can support a couple of the families now.  They also should have enough skills to do basic landscaping, if they can refrain from mowing Trump into people's lawns.  

I agree with you it's going to be hard and they are not prepared - but there are a couple of things they can do with just hiring out the bookkeeping.  

And if they do that it means limiting to helping the ones who already have families, those people keeping their families to the number they can support, and the ones who are still single finding a way to earn a living outside of being a Duggar before marriage and kids.  

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On 5/4/2021 at 10:20 PM, Marionette said:

 

Aside from that, their book sounds utterly boring. They don’t have a story to tell, they don’t have a message to give—it’s just spiritual bypassing all the culty bs. 

Yes, it was boring. They didn’t even go into religion all that much. I expected a lot more Jesus stuff. 

On 5/4/2021 at 3:15 PM, OldFadedStar said:

I bought the book so you don’t have to. 
 

honestly, I thought having a first edition would be handy in case they decide to edit stuff out in light of recent events. 
 

Yep, it maybe wasn’t right to give them money. I will report back here though with info from the book. 

I read it at Barnes & Noble in just over an hour. I didn’t want to give J&J a sale. I did not pay much attention to Jeremy’s early chapters. 

@theotherelise my comments are at the end of your quoted post. I couldn’t get them out of there. 

On 5/5/2021 at 10:15 AM, theotherelise said:

I read the summary on duggardata and thought this point was interesting:

"After Jeremy asked for permission to get to know Jinger, Jim Bob didn’t give his permission for 5 Months.  During this time, they spoke by phone weekly and discussed theology.  Jim Bob was worried about theological differences between Jeremy and the Duggars, and thought it might be a “dealbreaker” for Jinger + Jeremy."

So it sounds like Jeremy had to talk to Boob every week for 5 months before he was allowed to get to know Jinger and the theological differences were a potential deal breaker. It has always been a bit of a mystery why the Duggs were okay with Jeremy's reformed theology. I really wonder if Jeremy had to lie about any of his beliefs ie family planning and KJV. 

"Because of this, Jinger started to worry that courting Jeremy might be a source of conflict and tension in the family.  Right as Jim Bob decided it was actually fine, and Jeremy could court Jinger, Jinger freaked out and decided she couldn’t be with him because it was too “divisive.”  Jeremy, Jim Bob, and Michelle managed to change Jinger’s mind and everything was back on track, like, two days later."

I'm not a fan of Jinger, but I would chip in some money for her to get some therapy. There are so many markers for Dependent Personality Disorder and/or other anxiety conditions. My heart breaks thinking about the little girls who were told their trauma must be forgiven and forgotten.

**My response to this that I can’t get out of this box: Jeremy never says what the differences were other than theological. And Jinger reminds me of Maggie, the character in Runaway Bride, who would change her favorite eggs to whatever her current boyfriend liked. She seems like she just does whatever is easiest for everyone and puts herself last always. 

On 5/12/2021 at 8:09 AM, Spock said:

First time really posting. Long, long time lurker. I've been in and out of the thread since their book came out but after reading some the chapter recaps, I had a thought. 

Love and genuine feelings/emotions in regards to each other?

This relationship really does sound like a business transaction. In one part (I think it was mentioned in the 9-10 chapter recap) says that Jinger loved Jeremy but are they going into their real emotions/feelings or just telling what happened? Ben wanted to find Jeremy a wife as Jeremy wanted one. Okay? Sure but what about love? Or is it just praying and God telling you that this person is it? 

From the recaps OldFadedStar is doing, I'm not getting any real emotion from either of them besides Jingers saying she was in love at this point and that she was unsure of saying yes to the relationship because of causing division. 

Does Jeremy mention any feelings or real emotions to why he jumped through all those hoops for Jinger? 

To me, it just seemed like a transaction and a way for Jeremy to throw out his bible knowledge to JB. 

He said he wanted a Godly woman who he was also attracted to and she wanted someone who loves the Lord more than he loves her. They weren’t very descriptive about why they loved each other. Almost robotic, this is what we’re supposed to do and you’re ok to do it with. 

On 5/13/2021 at 3:28 AM, eljayem said:

Well what also makes me sad is I remember Jessa saying it was hard when Jinger got married, and moved to Texas, because they didn't talk very much. This was on the show a few years back so I can't remember the exact words but Jessa said something to the effect of not calling her for a few months so Jinger could get "settled in" and Jessa didn't want to intrude on newly weds.

I wonder now if this is something that Jeremy and maybe even Ben was involved in?

But at any rate I remember thinking that was weird. Those two were best friends, Jinger was already isolated by having moved away, and in a close physical relationship for the first time, I would have thought she would have been on the phone every day to Jessa,

Jinger talked about that w/Jessa(that J&B were newlyweds and Jinge wasn’t sure how much contact they would or should have.). But for people who say they are all so close and each other’s BFF, they don’t seem to know each other that well. Jeremy was always asking Jessa about her and Jessa was always like I don’t know or I’ll ask her. 

Edited by Tdoc72
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2 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:

Yes, it was boring. They didn’t even go into religion all that much. I expected a lot more Jesus stuff. 

I read it at Barnes & Noble in just over an hour. I didn’t want to give J&J a sale. I did not pay much attention to Jeremy’s early chapters. 

@theotherelise my comments are at the end of your quoted post. I couldn’t get them out of there. 

He said he wanted a Godly woman who he was also attracted to and she wanted someone who loves the Lord more than he loves her. They weren’t very descriptive about why they loved each other. Almost robotic, this is what we’re supposed to do and you’re ok to do it with. 

Jinger talked about that w/Jessa(that J&B were newlyweds and Jinge wasn’t sure how much contact they would or should have.). But for people who say they are all so close and each other’s BFF, they don’t seem to know each other that well. Jeremy was always asking Jessa about her and Jessa was always like I don’t know or I’ll ask her. 

Yeah that’s fucking weird. How could a phone call a day from your supposed BFF sister be bad. 
hey let’s just throw Jinger to the lions without a support network. Is what it sounds like. 
 

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14 hours ago, SassyPants said:

There is zero reason at this particular moment, for any of these folks to have a media presence or to be paid public figures.

It’s very easy to say they should get jobs. What kind of job could Joe, Josiah or Ben get that could comfortably support their ever growing families? Major changes would and will need to be made. It’s a huge hill for people who have on par with a 5-6th grade education-

Yes it would probably be an uphill struggle but not entirely possible. They do have extra skills which we have seen in the shows and people that support them and they should capitalize on those.  

They can go back into education and there are free online training courses that can aid them if they are lacking money.  They basically break free from the TLC stuff if they wanted to. Loads of people have done this.  It will take a bit of time but it is possible.

They should also maintain na healthy distance between the enabler and the agitator in that family who is sully in the family name and making things so bad that they have to be shutting of their Instagrams due to his foolishness and also from each other. Be separate and drop the collective mentality because this is what is causing their problems.  People are classifying them as a group and not as their person and it is damaging them.

Look at the John Piper boy or Abraham (as he is not a boy. Infact he is as old as me - lol.  He's been on tiktok for a while and nobody knew who he was.  As much as his views may not appeal to some Christians, he is making his own money, supporting his own family and not living of the coattails of his Daddy.  Ok people may click onto his tiktok because of who his Daddy is now but all his wealth and money comes from his own businesses and labour. Also Tiktok pays in pennies not in dollars.

As much as I dont agree with all his views, I give him credit for being an example of breaking away from his sort of  fundie upbringing and looking after his own four children with his own money and not Daddys.

The Duggars kids have less than four by the way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Since the kids' formal education is lacking, it might be better to go into manual work.  We know that JB has used the labor of family members to flip houses, so possibly some of them could go into the construction business.  I don't know the requirements in Arkansas to become an electrician, plumber, mechanic, etc., but those are good trades that pay well.  Perhaps they could buy into a franchise store.  I also think that military service could teach them some good skills, and would allow for healthcare for the large number of kids that they have.

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I cannot see any of them going into the military - they have been indoctrinated that worldly people are bad and dangerous - self employment, politics or ministry are the only acceptable choices.

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15 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

I cannot see any of them going into the military - they have been indoctrinated that worldly people are bad and dangerous - self employment, politics or ministry are the only acceptable choices.

Yep, and the utter hypocrisy of politics being the one area where they are willing to enter the world is staggering.  Like it's not a bigger cesspool of humanity than your average job.

Looking at you Huckabees.

Edited by HerNameIsBuffy
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8 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Yeah that’s fucking weird. How could a phone call a day from your supposed BFF sister be bad. 
hey let’s just throw Jinger to the lions without a support network. Is what it sounds like. 
 

It’s almost like if Jinger had connection with home, she would want to go back. By isolating her, she became solely dependent on Jeremy. Cough Stockholm Syndrome cough. 

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25 minutes ago, viii said:

It’s almost like if Jinger had connection with home, she would want to go back. By isolating her, she became solely dependent on Jeremy. Cough Stockholm Syndrome cough. 

They did this when I went to boarding school.  Limited calls home when you were new so you would get used to being there.  Cutting off someone's only source of support and comfort during a huge transition isn't kind.  I would have thought Jessa's support even long distance would have made things easier for her.

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They did this to me when I was forced to go to a 5 week summer camp in California when I was 15. I was so scared and homesick and they refused to let me call home. It wasn’t until I almost passed out from not eating for days due to anxiety that they relented and let me call. It made me resent the whole process even more, rather than help me adjust. 

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2 hours ago, Idlewild said:

I cannot see any of them going into the military - they have been indoctrinated that worldly people are bad and dangerous - self employment, politics or ministry are the only acceptable choices.

Plus you have to take orders (even from atheists and women!), show up on time, do what you're told whether you like it or not, and face the very real possibility of being sent into actually dangerous places where flashing an Arkansas rent-a-cop badge and pistol won't scare the other side one bit.

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"I also wonder if Jeremy resents the kids because they require Jinger’s time and attention?"

Also speculation on my part, but I see Jeremy not resenting the kids but using them as props-- a la the last Romanovs, using pics of the family (posed and "captured during light-hearted moments") in a very deliberate way to advance the brand.

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Well, I guess Jermie has addressed JB's concerns about whether he would be able to support Jinger's thrift store habit

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13 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:

Yes, it was boring. They didn’t even go into religion all that much. I expected a lot more Jesus stuff. 

I read it at Barnes & Noble in just over an hour. I didn’t want to give J&J a sale. I did not pay much attention to Jeremy’s early chapters. 

@theotherelise my comments are at the end of your quoted post. I couldn’t get them out of there. 

He said he wanted a Godly woman who he was also attracted to and she wanted someone who loves the Lord more than he loves her. They weren’t very descriptive about why they loved each other. Almost robotic, this is what we’re supposed to do and you’re ok to do it with. 

Jinger talked about that w/Jessa(that J&B were newlyweds and Jinge wasn’t sure how much contact they would or should have.). But for people who say they are all so close and each other’s BFF, they don’t seem to know each other that well. Jeremy was always asking Jessa about her and Jessa was always like I don’t know or I’ll ask her. 

I don’t think they have a full understanding of what a true friendship entails.

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Of all the Duggar sibling couples, this pair seem the most mismatched to me. In photos, Jeremy is always vibrant and Jinger seems like a shadow of her former self. Imo, once she had children she became more of a maternal homebody. I think Jer had in mind was to ramp up the reality star couple image (kids as props) and run with it all the way to the bank. I think they're both disappointed with the reality of marriage.

It’s probably stipulated in their book contract that they have to do x amount of promoting their book. The contract may even go so far as to state that they must present themselves as a loving and fun-loving couple to the public and that they’re not not permitted to separate or divorce until a certain amount of time has passed so as not to interfere with book sales.

The pre-marriage 50 page questionnaire was right up Jeremy’s alley because it was asking him all about HIS take on life, liberty and r’ligion. Kinda like those Cosmo magazine questionnaires (“are you hot enough for your man?”), Jer was happy to fill up pages and pages and pages about his own thoughts and prayers. What could be simpler for him?

 

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1 hour ago, Cam said:

The contract may even go so far as to state that they must present themselves as a loving and fun-loving couple to the public and that they’re not not permitted to separate or divorce until a certain amount of time has passed so as not to interfere with book sales.

Forget book sales - they’re likely never permitted to divorce or separate. And what contract? The publishing house would probably not create such a thing unless you mean Jim Bob?

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1 hour ago, Cam said:

The pre-marriage 50 page questionnaire was right up Jeremy’s alley because it was asking him all about HIS take on life, liberty and r’ligion. Kinda like those Cosmo magazine questionnaires (“are you hot enough for your man?”), Jer was happy to fill up pages and pages and pages about his own thoughts and prayers. What could be simpler for him?

 

Equating JB's questionnaire with a Cosmo personality test is probably the most apt comparison I've ever heard. 

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Ya'll please help me with my math. Rumors in the media have said JB is worth 3.5 million. If this is so, how much is that divided by 19 kids and Michelle? We can also be certain JB has a kick ass life insurance policy. I'm not a math wiz, but I just don't see how that money will go far. Hopefully I'm totally wrong.

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Just now, Tangy Bee said:

 We can also be certain JB has a kick ass life insurance policy. 

Can we be certain of that?  JB is a tightwad.  Hopefully he has at least provided for Michelle, but I'm not even certain of that.

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8 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Ya'll please help me with my math. Rumors in the media have said JB is worth 3.5 million. If this is so, how much is that divided by 19 kids and Michelle? We can also be certain JB has a kick ass life insurance policy. I'm not a math wiz, but I just don't see how that money will go far. Hopefully I'm totally wrong.

After taxes maybe 130k and I am being generous. It’s 184k before taxes. 

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If Jim Bob is worth $3.5 million then so is Michelle because the money isn’t his, it’s theirs as a couple, he didn’t come into the marriage with the money and he can’t bequeath what is also Michelle’s to anyone else.  Also, if something happened to Jim Bob, why would he split anything? If anything happened to him, his portion would likely just all go to Michelle. 

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