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Zach & Whitney 8: #ad, #sponsored & Whit Finds the Time!


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6 minutes ago, hollyfeller said:

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Back when I was married my ex and I visited his tiny midwest hometown.  For some reason we went to the cemetery (WTF) and his grandparents already had their headstones installed on their burial plots.  This was at least 15 years ago and to the best of my knowledge the grandparents are still alive.

I had an ex whose mother did that.  When his dad died she had the marker made for the two of them so whenever she goes to visit his grave she sees her own name, birth date, and blank space just waiting for the day Satan comes to retrieve her.  

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1 minute ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I had an ex whose mother did that.  When his dad died she had the marker made for the two of them so whenever she goes to visit his grave she sees her own name, birth date, and blank space just waiting for the day Satan comes to retrieve her.  

It was so weird considering they were both still alive and very healthy!  One of my ex's cousins originally discovered the pre-installed headstones while attending the funeral of a friend.  She was already an emotional wreck and seeing her grandparents' names on headstones sent her over the edge.  The poor thing.

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1 hour ago, hollyfeller said:

JillPM has entered the chat

Back when I was married my ex and I visited his tiny midwest hometown.  For some reason we went to the cemetery (WTF) and his grandparents already had their headstones installed on their burial plots.  This was at least 15 years ago and to the best of my knowledge the grandparents are still alive.

I had a cousin killed in a motorcycle accident last year and the resulting rush to find a plot inspired my parents to go ahead and purchase their plots. My dad intends to go ahead with his headstone because he wants to make sure it correctly lists his years and areas of military service.

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Just now, nolongerIFBx said:

I had a cousin killed in a motorcycle accident last year and the resulting rush to find a plot inspired my parents to go ahead and purchase their plots. My dad intends to go ahead with his headstone because he wants to make sure it correctly lists his years and areas of military service.

Long story, but because of a family member being moved to a Catholic cemetery ages ago we now have an extra plot in the secular cemetery right next to my parents - who were cremated and their ashes buried together.

Couldn't have a civil conversation throughout my childhood, but made up later in life and now sharing a grave and a marker.  Not weird for me at all!

Anyway my ex-husband still has his heart set on us sharing that plot next to my parents, because he was very close to them. 

I know it doesn't matter after death and I won't know where I am, but  spending eternity in a confined space with my ex with my parents as next door neighbors is it's own version of hell Dante forgot to include.  

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1 hour ago, hollyfeller said:

JillPM has entered the chat

Back when I was married my ex and I visited his tiny midwest hometown.  For some reason we went to the cemetery (WTF) and his grandparents already had their headstones installed on their burial plots.  This was at least 15 years ago and to the best of my knowledge the grandparents are still alive.

Oh this is super common in small-town cemeteries. 

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Ha my parents have the plot next to my grandparents and recently put in their headstone. 

The last time i took the kiddo i had to stop and have a conversation so she wouldn't see grandma & grandpa's tombstone and flip out a la "a Christmas Carol".

 

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When my first son was a baby I took long walks with him in the stroller in the cemetery across the street. That was the only quiet place near where we lived at the time and it seemed more like a park. No sirens, no cars, no people playing sports, no screaming kids, just peace, trees and bushes. It was the only place he ever slept in a stroller. Later other moms told me that they took their babies for a walk in cemeteries as well.

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7 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I had an ex whose mother did that.  When his dad died she had the marker made for the two of them so whenever she goes to visit his grave she sees her own name, birth date, and blank space just waiting for the day Satan comes to retrieve her.  

I remember my grandma asking them to cover her name when at my granddaddy’s funeral. She just didn’t want to see it. When my husband died, I made sure there’s room for my name but I didn’t want it on there yet.

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My dad lives within walking distance to a cemetery.  When my son and nephews (all born between 1996-2000) were small, he would take them for a walk in the cemetery, calling it "Cemetery Park".  He would play an alphabet name with the kids:  He would ask them to find a name on a headstone that started with a specific letter and the kids would try to be the one who spotted the name first.  Other times he would ask them to try and find their own names on a headstone.  This worked well for my nephews, who have names dating back to the Pilgrims on the Mayflower, but not so much for my son, whose name is a bit newer.   He said my son would get so upset because they never found his name.  

Also, when my mom passed and we ordered the headstone, my dad had his name and date of birth already engraved on the headstone.  I understand the practicality of it, and I appreciate that my dad wanted to give us one less thing to deal with, but every time I see the headstone I get a bit unnerved.  It's almost as if someone is saying "Come on, we're waiting". 

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13 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I taught all my kids to drive in cemeteries.  If you have large cemeteries it's kind of perfect when they are first getting behind the wheel because while they do have streets and stop signs, the speed limit is so slow and traffic so sparse they can get their feet wet and practice skills in a relaxed environment.

Of course we avoided active funerals, though.  

I think the living enjoying the space is kind of sweet, as long as the activity isn't so boisterous that you're disturbing others.  

You are allowed to drive IN cemeteries?!?!  🤯

How big are they?

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6 hours ago, Paperplate said:

You are allowed to drive IN cemeteries?!?!  🤯

How big are they?

I learned to drive in a lawn cemetery, too. It is very hilly and perfect for hill starts.

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7 hours ago, Paperplate said:

You are allowed to drive IN cemeteries?!?!  🤯

How big are they?

The cemetery where my grandparents are buried is more than 700 acres and has nearly 50 miles of roads, although it is on the larger side for cemeteries. But it's not uncommon for cemeteries in the part of the country where I grew up to be a few hundred acres and have miles of paved roads. 

 

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10 hours ago, Paperplate said:

You are allowed to drive IN cemeteries?!?!  🤯

How big are they?

The one where I taught my kids to drive is several hundred acres.  The one where I learned to drive in a different suburb was just as big, if not bigger.  The pic below is where I taught my kids, those are all actual two lane roads with stop signs, traffic circles, etc.  You can drive for miles and miles.  

[I should read before replying as I cross posted with @OHFL2009 ]

resurection.JPG

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6 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

I learned to drive in a lawn cemetery, too. It is very hilly and perfect for hill starts.

 

4 hours ago, OHFL2009 said:

The cemetery where my grandparents are buried is more than 700 acres and has nearly 50 miles of roads, although it is on the larger side for cemeteries. But it's not uncommon for cemeteries in the part of the country where I grew up to be a few hundred acres and have miles of paved roads. 

 

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2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

The one where I taught my kids to drive is several hundred acres.  The one where I learned to drive in a different suburb was just as big, if not bigger.  The pic below is where I taught my kids, those are all actual two lane roads with stop signs, traffic circles, etc.  You can drive for miles and miles.  

[I should read before replying as I cross posted with @OHFL2009 ]

resurection.JPG

Thanks for all of the info. Those are some BIG cemeteries! I assume that's all in the US? (Everything truly is bigger in Texas the US!)

There's a large cemetery near me that's a bit under 200 acres. You still just have to walk to where ever you're going. No driving – not even cycling. It's a very pretty place to just wander around in, with many historic gravesites. If you're too frail to walk (not too uncommon among cemetery visitors, I'd assume) you can catch a little electric bus on certain days during the week.

To me driving in a cemetery seems like a disturbance to the people who are grieving there. But as with pretty much everything, I guess it depends on what you're used to.

I learnt to drive (stick) on city streets, country roads and highways in a dual-pedalled car with a driving instructor as is the law in my country. No practice in a safe environment, they really just let you loose in traffic straight away because the instructor can always override whatever you're doing. It can get stressful if you're not very confident in releasing the clutch yet! We did find a quiet, hilly street once to practice hill starts and how to park on hills.

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1 minute ago, Paperplate said:

To me driving in a cemetery seems like a disturbance to the people who are grieving there. But as with pretty much everything, I guess it depends on what you're used to.

I do think it's what you're used to, but it's very different than road driving which makes it perfect for teaching.

The speed limits are usually about 15 MPH IIRC and there is very little traffic so you have the roads mostly to yourself.  No one is speeding or blasting music, so it's just a slow moving car or two passing behind you as you visit the graves.  

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I think the speed limits are often even lower, at least in certain sections, like 5 or 10 mph. And you drive very slowly, pulling off to the side where you wish to look. People are very respectful of each other in cemeteries, which is so good, it's one of the things we really get right as a society, along with pausing for emergency vehicles or funeral processions. 

I live about a half hour from this famous one; people visit it like they'd visit a park, and the trees really are beautiful in late spring and autumn. You'd exhaust yourself walking it. 

Actually, I love visiting cemeteries, and usually check out a local one whenever I travel. I miss living on the east coast, where there are many older graves, often quite famous ones. And I like noting how their designs and materials have changed over the years. 

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3 minutes ago, backyard sylph said:

I think the speed limits are often even lower, at least in certain sections, like 5 or 10 mph. And you drive very slowly, pulling off to the side where you wish to look. People are very respectful of each other in cemeteries, which is so good, it's one of the things we really get right as a society, along with pausing for emergency vehicles or funeral processions. 

I live about a half hour from this famous one; people visit it like they'd visit a park, and the trees really are beautiful in late spring and autumn. You'd exhaust yourself walking it. 

Actually, I love visiting cemeteries, and usually check out a local one whenever I travel. I miss living on the east coast, where there are many older graves, often quite famous ones. And I like noting how their designs and materials have changed over the years. 

I also love visiting cemeteries, especially the old ones.  I have a couple of family cemeteries I'd like to visit but they are on private land owned by distant relatives.  They welcome visitors, but I don't welcome conversations with strangers in my life even if we share great-grandparents.

I taught my kids to drive in the one where Resurrection Mary is said to live...she must've been out when we were there since she never hitched a ride with us.

 

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14 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

I live about a half hour from this famous one; people visit it like they'd visit a park, and the trees really are beautiful in late spring and autumn. You'd exhaust yourself walking it. 

The image I posted above is Spring Grove! My grandparents are buried there; even though they lived way over on the east side, they both loved Spring Grove and bought their spot there years in advance. 

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6 hours ago, OHFL2009 said:

The image I posted above is Spring Grove! My grandparents are buried there; even though they lived way over on the east side, they both loved Spring Grove and bought their spot there years in advance. 

I wondered if it was, but I've never seen it from above or the other side of the main building, and now I'm very curious about seeing more that way. 🙂

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I got to go to Spring Grove cemetery when I was in high school with a summer program. I really thought it was a neat place and have wanted to go back although I haven't made it back yet.

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On 2/8/2022 at 6:34 AM, Paperplate said:

You are allowed to drive IN cemeteries?!?!  🤯

How big are they?

I think cemeteries in Europe are VERY different to USA and maybe CAN? They are often small and even on the big ones, private cars are not usually not allowed if you are not here for a funeral. If there is much road anyway. Often the casket needs to get carried quite a bit because even the car for the casket can’t drive far in. Even the bigger ones are not ideal for driving lessons.

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Depending on where you are you also don’t have much lawn but graves surrounded with stones to mark the burial site. Often planted with flowers. 
In my country playing on a cemetery would definitely offend BIG TIME. Sitting and enjoying just the site and the quietness is ok. We secretly drive on supermarket parking lots on Sundays mornings 😉 (because you are not allowed to drive on public roads or properties before you get your license and supermarkets have big, even parking lots and are closed on Sundays. Most do some turns with a parent before their first real lesson with the instructors to get into stirring and using the clutch and gears).

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I used to live next to a cemetery that allowed dogs. I loved going for walks in there, it was always so quiet! And they planted a ton of apple trees back in the 40's that would have the most delicious apples each fall. The mass graves for plane crash victims were pretty interesting to look at, too.

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My ex-husband's father was a dick who left his family and his mother supported two kids with no child support and a job as a cleaner at a university.

When he became an adult, my ex went to court and got all the back child support for his mom. She promptly spent it on three cemetary plots--on for her, one for my ex, and one for his sister. He was barely 20 and the sister was still a teen.

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On 2/5/2022 at 7:32 AM, Thorns said:

Ref. Whitneys  video on Intstagram with clips from her fathers funeral - everybody grieves their own way, but I will never get filming the funeral and intimate moments of sorrow, and then posting them online. I am so gratefull that I do not live that way. 

I get videoing the funeral for later generations to see or rememeber AKA the grandkids but thats about it 

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I’m gonna go down the path of all but we have to share a video on this because all the people on the Instagram and what have you have been praying for for my family. Therefore I have to do a video and post about everything.

Personally I find it weird that’s me.

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