Duggars by the Dozen 41: Marrying off the Kidults at the Speed of Light

[HeartsAFundie]

22 hours ago, Antipatriarch said:

Story on the Duggars and TLC "Counting On" cancellation on the Washington Post this morning:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2021/07/30/duggars-canceled-tlc/

Poor headline (as they often are); it ends with "that doesn’t mean people can count them out for good" but the article hardly talks about that and kinda peters out at the end. No mention of Jana, or the viewer draw from Duggar weddings.

Thank you for sharing that. Interesting read.   I agree the article petered out at the end and also left out some key points, like how Jill is now estranged from the family for daring to spit out some Kool-Aid.    

The comments were enjoyable to read as well.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

3 hours ago, HeartsAFundie said:

Thank you for sharing that. Interesting read.   I agree the article petered out at the end and also left out some key points, like how Jill is now estranged from the family for daring to spit out some Kool-Aid.    

The comments were enjoyable to read as well.

“Daring to spit out some Kool-Aid” would be a great title for a Dillard thread.

[sansan]

On 7/29/2021 at 11:23 AM, SorenaJ said:

I think maybe it is their first time having a chance at "luxury" items, so they go for that on their registry, as opposed to "everyday" items that they are used to. 

Yeah I get that and still expect the big ticket items but if they list all those food gift cards with no shame why not paper plates? I bet they just don’t think about it. Back in the day, when we registered for the basics for setting up our own home, you registered at usually one department store for everyday dishes, china, silverware and linens but after getting down to actually living our lives there were a couple of times that I wished that we had added a very few things to the list. Back then registry lists were not huge like now.

[HereticHick]

On 7/28/2021 at 2:10 AM, SorenaJ said:

According to DuggarData, Joy, Lauren, Abbie and Claire are all due to announce pregnancies in August. If DD is right, it might be a busy month. 

My prediction: we will get only 1 out of 4.

[Meggo]

On 8/1/2021 at 9:07 AM, sansan said:

Yeah I get that and still expect the big ticket items but if they list all those food gift cards with no shame why not paper plates? I bet they just don’t think about it. Back in the day, when we registered for the basics for setting up our own home, you registered at usually one department store for everyday dishes, china, silverware and linens but after getting down to actually living our lives there were a couple of times that I wished that we had added a very few things to the list. Back then registry lists were not huge like now.

I also remember registering for things I thought we "had" to have. Like a set of pyrex casserole dishes (the square ones with lids). I don't use them. 19 years in and I think I've used them a handful of times. I barely use all the china & crystal I registered for - pull it out for holidays and birthdays etc. 
I remember NOT registering for many washcloths because we never use them, and not registering for a coffee pot because I didn't drink coffee (he did but we had two coffee pots between the two of us already).
And I do wish I'd gotten a four slot toaster. I still have ours from then but ... sometimes I'd like to make THREE pieces of toast at the same time...

 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

3 hours ago, HereticHick said:

My prediction: we will get only 1 out of 4.

Which one?

[DalmatianCat]

9 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Which one?

Most likely Claire, but if it’s Lauren there probably won’t be a public announcement, they seem to be enjoying a private life (good for them!). Abbie and JD were just at a big air show that was out of state. Considering how sick she was with Gracie I don’t see her feeling like flying early in a pregnancy (if at all).

[JermajestyDuggar]

Oh I think Claire will be announcing in the next month.

[HereticHick]

44 minutes ago, DalmatianCat said:

Most likely Claire, but if it’s Lauren there probably won’t be a public announcement, they seem to be enjoying a private life (good for them!). Abbie and JD were just at a big air show that was out of state. Considering how sick she was with Gracie I don’t see her feeling like flying early in a pregnancy (if at all).

My sentiments exactly when I saw that JD and Abbie had flown to Wisconsin. Gracie and a any future sibling will be over 2 years apart. Abbie may well turn 30 (her birthday is in April) before she has baby #2

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

My sentiments exactly when I saw that JD and Abbie had flown to Wisconsin. Gracie and a any future sibling will be over 2 years apart. Abbie may well turn 30 (her birthday is in April) before she has baby #2

Abbie’s mom only had 7 pregnancies that resulted in child(ten). Maybe she would prefer not to have a baby every 15 months like Michelle. 

[mpheels]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Abbie’s mom only had 7 pregnancies that resulted in child(ten). Maybe she would prefer not to have a baby every 15 months like Michelle. 

I get the impression JD takes the caregiver/provider title very seriously. He is old enough to remember how good family life was with a few children and how bad it became with too many children. It wouldn’t surprise me if he wants to limit the number of children they have so he can meet his own standards as a provider (without needing Abbie to work outside the home).

[postscript]

11 minutes ago, mpheels said:

I get the impression JD takes the caregiver/provider title very seriously. He is old enough to remember how good family life was with a few children and how bad it became with too many children. It wouldn’t surprise me if he wants to limit the number of children they have so he can meet his own standards as a provider (without needing Abbie to work outside the home).

I agree. They’ll never admit to limiting, but I think we’ll see a few well-spaced pregnancies from Abbie. I’d be surprised if they had more than 5, possibly fewer. 

I’m willing to bet Claire is pregnant now and is just waiting out the first trimester before she announces. They are way too young. Sigh.

A Lauren pregnancy would also not surprise me. They’re due for one. However, they’ve been so quiet lately (for which I applaud them) that I doubt they’ll make a formal announcement until the baby actually arrives. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

This is what I think some of these fundies do:

They do things to avoid pregnancy. But not hormonal birth control. I think most fundie women know their fertile window and may avoid sex at those times. I know fundie women are supposed to be joyfully available but if a husband also knows her cycle pretty well, I wouldn’t be surprised if the patriarch decided to abstain during that time. People often put this solely on the fundie female’s shoulders. But the man is supposed to be the leader right? So it’s likely he has a say in it. I would not be surprised at all if the husbands pull out, abstain, or get a BJ during ovulation times. Many of them likely still let people believe they are quiverful. I could see JD doing this because Abbie gets so sick when pregnant. A lot of the childcare and housework would go straight to him if she is sick in bed for 9 months. 

Edited August 3, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[SassyPants]

I think Abbie also once said that they would not be having 19 children. 6,7 or 8 is a far cry from 19. 

[MaryOrMartha]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is what I think some of these fundies do:

They do things to avoid pregnancy. But not hormonal birth control. I think most fundie women know their fertile window and may avoid sex at those times. I know fundie women are supposed to be joyfully available but if a husband also knows her cycle pretty well, I wouldn’t be surprised if the patriarch decided to abstain during that time. People often put this solely on the fundie female’s shoulders. But the man is supposed to be the leader right? So it’s likely he has a say in it. I would not be surprised at all if the husbands pull out, abstain, or get a BJ during ovulation times. Many of them likely still let people believe they are quiverful. I could see JD doing this because Abbie gets so sick when pregnant. A lot of the childcare and housework would go straight to him if she is sick in bed for 9 months. 

Wait, you think these fundies are giving and receiving BJs?! It's still wasting seed...

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

1 hour ago, MaryOrMartha said:

Wait, you think these fundies are giving and receiving BJs?! It's still wasting seed...

Ummm yeah oral is not their thing,  it’s considered unholy by the ones I knew.  But who knows for sure. 

[SorenaJ]

4 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Ummm yeah oral is not their thing,  it’s considered unholy by the ones I knew.  But who knows for sure. 

What about oral sex on females? That’s not wasting any seeds? 

I suppose neither is oral sex on males without ejaculation. 

[Melissa1977]

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is what I think some of these fundies do:

They do things to avoid pregnancy. But not hormonal birth control. I think most fundie women know their fertile window and may avoid sex at those times. I know fundie women are supposed to be joyfully available but if a husband also knows her cycle pretty well, I wouldn’t be surprised if the patriarch decided to abstain during that time. People often put this solely on the fundie female’s shoulders. But the man is supposed to be the leader right? So it’s likely he has a say in it. I would not be surprised at all if the husbands pull out, abstain, or get a BJ during ovulation times. Many of them likely still let people believe they are quiverful. I could see JD doing this because Abbie gets so sick when pregnant. A lot of the childcare and housework would go straight to him if she is sick in bed for 9 months. 

My grandparents had only 2, and many of their friends had 1 or 2 children. It was way before the pill. Pull out, plus looking at the calendar, worked for them. But of course, I'm talking about adult married people who could have afforded an oops baby, so they could take the risk. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

My grandparents had only 2, and many of their friends had 1 or 2 children. It was way before the pill. Pull out, plus looking at the calendar, worked for them. But of course, I'm talking about adult married people who could have afforded an oops baby, so they could take the risk. 

My great grandparents only had two and I always wondered if she talked her doctor into giving her a diaphragm. Of course I would have never asked. But I’m guessing my great aunt who had a bad heart and wasn’t allowed to have children was given a diaphragm by her doctor. If he’s going to tell her she can’t get pregnant, he has to give her something to help in my opinion. She was married a very long time with no children. 

[Bobology]

10 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

Wait, you think these fundies are giving and receiving BJs?! It's still wasting seed...

So if the godly wife is past the child-bearing 'season of life' then wouldn't sexual intimacy always waste seed? If they (the men, of course) can justify that wasting seed at that point is still jesus-approved then they can justify (in their own minds... to their wives) wasting seed at other times. I guess it just depends on what the men want and what they claim god wants them to do.

[Meggo]

1 hour ago, Bobology said:

So if the godly wife is past the child-bearing 'season of life' then wouldn't sexual intimacy always waste seed? If they (the men, of course) can justify that wasting seed at that point is still jesus-approved then they can justify (in their own minds... to their wives) wasting seed at other times. I guess it just depends on what the men want and what they claim god wants them to do.

I *think* (based on what I remember from the Catholic church - so YMMV) anytime a couple engages in sex - they should be open to a baby being the result. Obviously if you're past that age & stage- but are still OPEN to it - that's okay. 

Incidentally - where does this stuff LIVE in my head but I can't remember where my mailbox key is...

 

[FaithAndReason]

8 hours ago, Bobology said:

So if the godly wife is past the child-bearing 'season of life' then wouldn't sexual intimacy always waste seed? If they (the men, of course) can justify that wasting seed at that point is still jesus-approved then they can justify (in their own minds... to their wives) wasting seed at other times. I guess it just depends on what the men want and what they claim god wants them to do.

They can always say "You never know when the Lord will open the womb. Look at Abraham and Sarah." This would justify sex for a lifetime. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, FaithAndReason said:

They can always say "You never know when the Lord will open the womb. Look at Abraham and Sarah." This would justify sex for a lifetime. 

You would think they would then say that when they use condoms. Condoms aren’t 100% effective so god could give us a child even if we are using condoms! Or NFP. Or the pull out method. Fundies could easily justify whatever they want by using some random line in the Bible. The fact is that they want these huge families. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

You would think they would then say that when they use condoms. Condoms aren’t 100% effective so god could give us a child even if we are using condoms! Or NFP. Or the pull out method. Fundies could easily justify whatever they want by using some random line in the Bible. The fact is that they want these huge families. 

Exactly. "Open to as many as God will give them" is bullshit. They actively try and do all they can to have as many blessings as possible. Sigh. 

Edited August 5, 2021 by Shouldabeenacowboy

[Audrey2]

1 hour ago, Shouldabeenacowboy said:

Exactly. "Open to as many as God will give them" is bullshit. They actively try and do all they can to have as many blessings as possible. Sigh. 

Some, like the Duggars and Bates, do. I feel like the ones who actively try to do all they can to have as many blessings as possible also track the wife's fertility and make sure that they are amorous during this times. I think there's a second group that would be open to a larger family and being quiver full and do nothing to limit the size of their family but rely more on when they're in the mood and not in the mood versus trying as much as possible during fertile windows.