Duggars by the Dozen 41: Marrying off the Kidults at the Speed of Light

[SPHASH]

Anna and Mary Maxwell there, oh never mind.

[HideousGreenShirt]

Who in their right mind would approve this t-shirt?

These people make such bizzare choices. Imagine if you were a non-fundie and just saw someone wearing this.

Also, can we please have "Choosing christ-like manhood" as a new post count?  

Jenny with Faith Seewald for those not on Instagram. 

Spoiler

 

Edited July 24, 2021 by HideousGreenShirt
Additional thought

[JanasTattooParlor]

As a high school teacher that is in her mid-20s, I have a very hard time seeing anyone under 20 as a peer and high schoolers are children to me. My friends my age are mostly married, have bought houses, and are starting to have kids. However, my best friend is 23 and dates a 19 year old who is friends with her also 19 year old brother. I’ve tried to be more accepting with him since he’s much more mature than any guys that I went to college with and even a lot of guys my own age, but there are times when I realize I could’ve been his teacher and it weirds me out. There’s such a distinct difference between 15-18, 18-22, and 22-25 that I can’t imagine all of those groups mingling as peers. I guess for the girls at least, if they’re all SAHDs, then they have a decent amount in common, but since these people court to marry, 15-17 year olds shouldn’t be worrying about dating like the 18-25 year olds are. 

[clueliss]

8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m not seeing any Bates boys at the summit. I’m wondering if the Bates are trying to distance themselves publicly from the Duggars since Josh’s arrest. They still have a tv show. They have a dress shop. They have a lot of followers on social media. I’m guessing they don’t want to ruin that by being pictured on social media with the Duggars. 

I swear one of the Instagram pics showed Gil ( in line for food).  

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, clueliss said:

I swear one of the Instagram pics showed Gil ( in line for food).  

Could you post it? Ive been looking for Bateses.

[clueliss]

It was in the conference’s  Instagram that someone linked.  

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzzYGjNnFc0/?utm_medium=copy_link

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, clueliss said:

It was in the conference’s  Instagram that someone linked.  

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzzYGjNnFc0/?utm_medium=copy_link

They posted a group pic and no Bateses. 
 

But Stephen Wissmann and Laura Demasie are in it. They are probably “staff.” So did Jana decide to not be in the group pic? Because why would her best friend and her boyfriend go but she stay home? I’m sure she went too. Unless she had too much wedding planning to do ?

[Antipatriarch]

3 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

Who in their right mind would approve this t-shirt?

3 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

These people make such bizzare choices. Imagine if you were a non-fundie and just saw someone wearing this.

Also, can we please have "Choosing christ-like manhood" as a new post count?

Not as bad as "Real Men Love Jesus" IMO.

Edited July 24, 2021 by Antipatriarch
ahem

[SingingCat]

1 hour ago, clueliss said:

I swear one of the Instagram pics showed Gil ( in line for food).  

The picture of Gill Bates was from the summit of 2019. They had 2018 and 2019 pictures enticing people to sign up for Summit 2021. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, SingingCat said:

The picture of Gill Bates was from the summit of 2019. They had 2018 and 2019 pictures enticing people to sign up for Summit 2021. 

Yeah they used to go. That’s why I was looking for any of them. The group seems smaller this year. The Caldwells usually went too. But I saw none of them. 

[Mimosa]

10 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

It doesn't say singles event anywhere on the website that I could find. I mean it obviously is meant as matchmaking and for people to meet their future spouses but I think for me it depends how they structure the activities and groups if it is a big deal. 

I mean there are lots and lots of things wrong with the summit, but I am not sure the age grouping is one. 

Oh interesting! I didn't look at the website, just went from reactions here.                                                                                           I think my perception of the situation is probably skewed as I am a middle school teacher. So when I was 25, I was teaching 14 year olds. Would have been wholly inappropriate to then attend any sort of camp with them. 

[CanadianMamam]

36 minutes ago, Mimosa said:

Oh interesting! I didn't look at the website, just went from reactions here.                                                                                           I think my perception of the situation is probably skewed as I am a middle school teacher. So when I was 25, I was teaching 14 year olds. Would have been wholly inappropriate to then attend any sort of camp with them. 

Oh definitely. I was looking more from it someone who grew up in/around big families. It tended to make for larger social circles. So given that fundies pretty much all have big families, the gap seems more understandable because you can send more of your kids at once and these kids are probably used to hanging out with their older siblings and their friends, so the age lines blur more. 

[Hane]

I think that the age group (15-25) is a dangerous range: underage teens mixed with young adults who are just a few years older, but are experienced enough to seem “cool” and exert undue influence. There’s a similar age range in a youth theater group near here, and it gave my daughter major red flags: adult men preying emotionally and sometimes sexually on vulnerable girls.

[viii]

It’s 100% a match making service. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

43 minutes ago, Hane said:

I think that the age group (15-25) is a dangerous range: underage teens mixed with young adults who are just a few years older, but are experienced enough to seem “cool” and exert undue influence. There’s a similar age range in a youth theater group near here, and it gave my daughter major red flags: adult men preying emotionally and sometimes sexually on vulnerable girls.

I don’t understand why it can’t just be young fundies age 18-30.  25 seems like a young cut off. There are singles in their late 20s. 

[GoddessOfVictory]

On 7/24/2021 at 4:09 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

They posted a group pic and no Bateses. 
 

But Stephen Wissmann and Laura Demasie are in it. They are probably “staff.” So did Jana decide to not be in the group pic? Because why would her best friend and her boyfriend go but she stay home? I’m sure she went too. Unless she had too much wedding planning to do ?

? What if we’ve been wrong this whole time and Laura and Stephen are the ones courting, and Jana has just been Laura’s chaperone?!?

 

Okay, I kid, but it would make things more interesting if they were doing the old magician-style misdirection.

[front hugs > duggs]

For young Jewish adults, Birthright was typically always 18-26 (they now have separate trips for adults older than 26 as well, I believe). Anything that could remotely be tied to matchmaking should involve legal adults 18+ IMO.

[HeartsAFundie]

My son is 25.  There is no way in hell that he would want to spend the summer hanging out with seventh and eighth graders and high schoolers, just on appearances alone.  Never mind the age differences and the fact that they would have virtually nothing in common.  I hope the camp has good liability insurance.  This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. 

Fundies may call it "fellowship"; but those of us in more secular circles call it "jailbait". 

 

Edited July 26, 2021 by HeartsAFundie

[Vivi_music]

I totally agree that the age difference is icky.

BUUUUT... I don't think we can compare these fundies to normal 25 year olds.

It's not like any of them have gone to college, moved out of the house, met new people outside their social circle, etc. A 9 or 10 years age gap is a big problem at a young age, because you aren't at the same stage in your life (in terms of career, sexual development, maturity, etc.). Once you become friends or even date at 30 or 40, these differences fade away.

In this situation, I bet most of these young people are stay-at-home daughters and stay-at-home sons. Their lives must not be that different from the kids in 9th grade. Doesn't erase the fact it's too big of a age-gap to match anyone in my opinion. But I can see how for fundies, the age difference is not a big deal.

[livinginthelight]

When my fundie, home-schooling sister's son was 25, he started "courting" the 15 year old daughter of a friend of my sister's. I objected every which way I could, and all my sister would say was, "she (the girl) is very mature for her age." Thankfully the most they ever did was hold hands, as they were always monitored, and the girl eventually dumped my nephew, deciding he was boring. To this day, my sister still sees nothing wrong with a 25 year old being interested in a 15 year old.

Edited July 26, 2021 by livinginthelight

[Lurker]

I see this as a way for them to normalize their hasty courtships, minimal engagements and fast marriages to the world outside their cult.

The bride and groom can say with all honesty they met in camp when they were 15.  Even though their quality time meant they spent 10 minutes on opposite side of a  room on the chow line, or 20 minutes occupying opposite sides of the room during prayers, they feel they know each other well.   They get married spending less than a few dozen hours actually talking to each other as adults.  All they really know about each other is that they have a heart for Jesus.  

 

 

[louisa05]

1 hour ago, livinginthelight said:

When my fundie, home-schooling sister's son was 25, he started "courting" the 15 year old daughter of a friend of my sister's. I objected every which way I could, and all my sister would say was, "she (the girl) is very mature for her age." Thankfully the most they ever did was hold hands, as they were always monitored, and the girl eventually dumped my nephew, deciding he was boring. To this day, my sister still sees nothing wrong with a 25 year old being interested in a 15 year old.

A friend grew up Fundie. Her parents gave a 28 year old permission to “date” her when she was 16. This was before “courtship” took off but that’s basically what it was. He ended it for whatever reason. But it took her until she began reevaluating her beliefs for her to see how inappropriate that was. 

[viii]

Not to mention, they're not actively encouraging a 25 year old to chat with a 15 year old. They're split up into age appropriate groups. 

[Expectopatronus]

2 hours ago, livinginthelight said:

When my fundie, home-schooling sister's son was 25, he started "courting" the 15 year old daughter of a friend of my sister's. I objected every which way I could, and all my sister would say was, "she (the girl) is very mature for her age." Thankfully the most they ever did was hold hands, as they were always monitored, and the girl eventually dumped my nephew, deciding he was boring. To this day, my sister still sees nothing wrong with a 25 year old being interested in a 15 year old.

Did she not realise that he could go to jail and be listed as a sex offender for the rest of his life? I’m sure he’s a nice enough young man and that the relationship was probably in part arranged by the mothers but the courts wouldn’t see it that way. Poor sheltered kids! 

[Antipatriarch]

37 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

Did she not realise that he could go to jail and be listed as a sex offender for the rest of his life? I’m sure he’s a nice enough young man and that the relationship was probably in part arranged by the mothers but the courts wouldn’t see it that way.

Only if they had sex (statutory rape); nothing legally wrong, as far as I know, with dating, holding hands, and kissing when one partner is a minor. And depending on their age and the state in which they live, if they have the approval of the parents and/or the court, they can get married.

I'm definitely not saying that would be a good thing. 15 is too young and 15-to-25 is too wide a gap, in my view. Age at marriage is one of the best predictors of divorce; I think the general societal trend of kids marrying later is a very good thing.