Maxwell 47: Vestigial Tales of the Messy Towel Drawer

[Bethy]

So...

Her brothers can all save enough for a Debt-Free Home™️ by the time they're 25.

Sarah can scrape up enough for a used car a few months before she turns 40.

I hate to say it but I think this is a bit of a commentary on wage equity in Maxhell.

(Happy for her having a car, though, and hoping this means she'll have more freedom in some sort of activity that wasn't part of her life for the past 20+ driving-age years of her life.)

[Caroline]

11 hours ago, SPHASH said:

While I am glad Sarah is feeling better that post made me a bit sad.  39 years old and she's finally getting her first car?  I kind of assumed she had her own car, silly me..

I'm going to be 63 next month.  In the last year I've been thinking a lot about what I've accomplished in my life and how much time I have left to do more.  I know this is normal at my age, but it definitely makes me appreciate the freedom I've had in my life to get a good education, travel extensively, have a career I enjoy, marry whom I wanted, raise a child to be who she wants and needs to be, and many other things that have enriched my life.   Getting a new car when you're a young person just starting your life is a milestone.  I was 23 when I was able to buy my first car and when I was 34 I bought my first home after I had paid off all of my student loans.  I married soon after and together we bought another home a few years later. (I know that I did all those things wrong because I have had several car loans and a mortgage.)

   I'm sure that when I'm at the end of my life I'll still have regrets about things I didn't do.  I hope that Sarah doesn't have even bigger regrets because she has been denied so many of the experiences that give ordinary people in society confidence and pleasure.    Her parents are the antithesis of the kind of parents my husband and I are.  Life is short, and even Steve doesn't REALLY know where he's going when he dies.  

Edited April 27, 2021 by Caroline

[theologygeek]

55 minutes ago, Bethy said:

So...

Her brothers can all save enough for a Debt-Free Home™️ by the time they're 25.

Sarah can scrape up enough for a used car a few months before she turns 40.

I hate to say it but I think this is a bit of a commentary on wage equity in Maxhell.

I was thinking the same thing.  I really hope it was just a matter of her not wanting a car until now, and not a matter of her not being able to afford one.  The girls should have been paid a fair wage when they did the conferences.  They were working too.  

[Nothing if not critical]

6 hours ago, Caroline said:

Getting a new car when you're a young person just starting your life is a milestone.

I get your point, and I'm sure it's true for many people, but it doesn't have to be.

I'm 49, and I have never owned a car in my life. I've never wanted one, so I've always made sure I live in a place where I don't need it. I hate driving anyway, so I use public transport, walk or go by bike. Makes for a much better ecological footprint, too.

I know that's not possible for everyone, and I do occasionally enjoy renting a car when we're on vacation. Just putting it out there that living your life without owning  your own car doesn't have to be terrible. It all comes down to choice, as usual.

[Austrian Atheist]

23 hours ago, Paperplate said:

Like, apart from that one trip to check out another town that one time, has she ever been anywhere all by herself?

Yes she has: https://blog.titus2.com/2016/02/13/sarah-takes-a-trip/

 

I'm glad she is better. And the car looks really nice. (In my family we only buy red cars on principle. When we were younger our father instilled the idea, that red cars are safer because of allegedly better visibility . Not sure, if this is actually true, but we still stick to it. Maybe it's an excuse and we just like red cars...)

 

[theologygeek]

I had this bookmarked because I bought a yellow sports car last year.  It's pretty funny when you read what having a red car means and then compare that to Sarah.  It's what your car color says about you.  https://www.today.com/home/blue-red-or-silver-find-out-what-your-car-color-t81381  

[Alisamer]

6 hours ago, Nothing if not critical said:

Just putting it out there that living your life without owning  your own car doesn't have to be terrible. It all comes down to choice, as usual.

...and location. I agree with your sentiment, but like where I live? If I hadn't had a car as a teenager and young adult I'd have been basically stuck at home unable to go anywhere at all. 

3 hours ago, Austrian Atheist said:

When we were younger our father instilled the idea, that red cars are safer because of allegedly better visibility . Not sure, if this is actually true, but we still stick to it. Maybe it's an excuse and we just like red cars...)

I had always heard red cars got pulled over far more often than other color cars. My youngest sister always gets red cars and has totalled several - she is ALWAYS getting hit, and somehow it's never her at fault. (She's not a great driver either, IMO.) Still, red cars are cool. (For me I prefer bright colors other than red - like purple or electric blue, or plain black.)

My middle sister's car must be the safest ever, it's a Jeep and it is almost-fluorescent highlighter green. Can't miss it. 

[Austrian Atheist]

7 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I had always heard red cars got pulled over far more often than other color cars. My youngest sister always gets red cars and has totalled several - she is ALWAYS getting hit, and somehow it's never her at fault. (She's not a great driver either, IMO.) Still, red cars are cool. (For me I prefer bright colors other than red - like purple or electric blue, or plain black.)

My middle sister's car must be the safest ever, it's a Jeep and it is almost-fluorescent highlighter green. Can't miss it. 

So now I had to google it! I found a statistics from my country. Light green cars have the most accidents, yellow the least (but in my country only the mailmen drive yellow cars...). ?The whole document is only in German but you can understand the chart anyway.

[Alisamer]

3 minutes ago, Austrian Atheist said:

So now I had to google it! I found a statistics from my country. Light green cars have the most accidents, yellow the least (but in my country only the mailmen drive yellow cars...). ?The whole document is only in German but you can understand the chart anyway.

I remember just enough high school German to understand all the names! 

[Jana814]

My last car & my current car are/were red. I love red cars they are easy to spot in a parking lot. 

Edited April 27, 2021 by Jana814

[MamaJunebug]

4 hours ago, Austrian Atheist said:

Yes she has: https://blog.titus2.com/2016/02/13/sarah-takes-a-trip/

 

I'm glad she is better. And the car looks really nice. (In my family we only buy red cars on principle. When we were younger our father instilled the idea, that red cars are safer because of allegedly better visibility . Not sure, if this is actually true, but we still stick to it. Maybe it's an excuse and we just like red cars...)

 

Yikes, that 2016 trip Sarah took - SHE thought the airliner seats were little-bitty? She, who has never eaten more than 3 animal crackers at one sitting???

Thus isn’t a jab at Sarah. Not at all !!! I haven’t flown since losing a lot of weight and I was actually looking forward to traveling in more comfort. Looking forward to not needing a seatbelt extender!

But Oy Yoy Yoy - if airline seats were snug for Sarah Maxwell 5 years ago?!? I’d better plan to drive. *sigh*

Edited April 27, 2021 by MamaJunebug

[Nothing if not critical]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

and location. I agree with your sentiment, but like where I live? If I hadn't had a car as a teenager and young adult I'd have been basically stuck at home unable to go anywhere at all. 

Oh, yeah, same where I grew up. I hated it, and that's why I've chosen to live in places with decent public transport ever since. But, as I said, I do realise not everyone has that option.

[MamaJunebug]

21 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

My last car & my current car are/were red. I love red cars they are easy to spot in a parking lot. 

I traded in a red car for a grey. Last evening I literally wandered the parking lot, unable to pick out my jalopy  from about 2 dozen similar grey cars there!  Down to the make & model!!  #GoRedOrStayHome  

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Yikes, that 2016 trip Sarah took - SHE thought the airliner seats were little-bitty? She, who has never eaten more than 3 animal crackers at one sitting???

Thus isn’t a jab at Sarah. Not at all !!! I haven’t flown since losing a lot of weight and I was actually looking forward to traveling in more comfort. Looking forward to not needing a seatbelt extender!

But Oy Yoy Yoy - if airline seats were snug for Sarah Maxwell 5 years ago?!? I’d better plan to drive. *sigh*

This is one of the biggest reasons I hate flying. I’m tall and fat and it just sucks. Yes, I fit. But not comfortably! I have to sit just right for my knees not to touch the seat in front of me. I often choose the aisle seat so I can stick my knees in the aisle. Don’t worry, I always move them when anyone needs to get by me. 

[Paperplate]

2 hours ago, Austrian Atheist said:

So now I had to google it! I found a statistics from my country. Light green cars have the most accidents, yellow the least (but in my country only the mailmen drive yellow cars...). ?The whole document is only in German but you can understand the chart anyway.

Oh, crap! ? We recently foil wrapped our car going from grey/silver to bright green. Should I be worried?!?

So far no one has smashed into us but I haven't even driven in over a year (nowhere to go because of the pandemic) – so that might have had something to do with it.

Edited April 27, 2021 by Paperplate

[Hane]

One of my personal rules in life is “There us no point in owning a car that isn’t red.” 

[Paperplate]

6 hours ago, Austrian Atheist said:

Yes she has: https://blog.titus2.com/2016/02/13/sarah-takes-a-trip/

 

I'm glad she is better. And the car looks really nice. (In my family we only buy red cars on principle. When we were younger our father instilled the idea, that red cars are safer because of allegedly better visibility . Not sure, if this is actually true, but we still stick to it. Maybe it's an excuse and we just like red cars...)

 

True, true. I forgot about that because I was thinking about her taking a solo car trip not flying to visit someone.

Speculation time: Sarah has met a GYM who lives within driving distance. She is going to see him and his family frequently, sometimes staying over (in the guest room!). Steve and Teri can't spare their cars that often/long so she needed to get her own.

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

me. I often choose the aisle seat so I can stick my knees in the aisle. Don’t worry, I always move them when anyone needs to get by me. 

Of course you do! ❤️. Sister JB & her husband want very badly to fly overseas and I’m planning to combine all their annual “gifts” into first-class upgrades for them when they do. They’re both in the 6-foot range and have arthritic joints everywhere. He’s thin but she’s about 30# above desired weight.  As crappy as they treated me in the past, I can’t imagine the two of them in economy for such a long flight.  .... No brag, just fact about the upgrade$ —makes more sense to spend on that, than on souvenir t-blouses from my travels, or on fancy-dining gift cards neither of them really needs.  

Edited April 27, 2021 by MamaJunebug

[SassyPants]

I think the Maxwells operate very similar to the Duggars. The families are businesses and employ their at home children. Daddy gives out money as he sees fit. The Maxwell boys likely were given the money for the houses as part of that financial agreement. The girls obviously ( in their cult)don’t need a home. All the girls should be paid accordingly either with income property, cars, fat bank accounts etc...Wonder if Steve  charges them room and board; penalizes them for still being at home, even though it’s by his design?

[fundiewatch]

They have said multiple times that they don’t charge them room and board and that the children at home only pay for special foods they desire. 

[Black Aliss]

3 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

I traded in a red car for a grey. Last evening I literally wandered the parking lot, unable to pick out my jalopy  from about 2 dozen similar grey cars there!  Down to the make & model!!  #GoRedOrStayHome  

I live in Western WA where, as everyone knows, it is always raining, snowing, foggy, and/or just grey (not really but it feels that way). I would like a ban on silver and white cars, or at least make them with lights that turn on automatically when they are running because there are too many days when you just cannot see them. Of course, trying to find your red Subaru Outback in the REI parking lot or at a trailhead can be a real challenge.

[fundiefan]

I'm a little saddened by the fact that Sarah bought her first car at 39 years old. 

So many rights of passage fundie girls miss out on. 

I did not get my first car until I was in my 20's - didn't even get my license until I was 21. But, I had a dysfunctional family & lived on my own by 17, so things were different for m & took a lot longer. And even that first car wasn't actually mine, it was my uncle's that he let me drive for a year. Then he lent me the money for my next car, without having to go to a bank or get a loan charging interest. So, I wasn't given my first car as a youngster, nor did I have it easy. I'm not saying that in and of itself is the right of passage. 

I'm saying...growing up is the right of passage. The steps towards independent, adult living. Jobs, vehicles, saving, investing, renting, buying, dating, marrying, birthing, educating, careering....whatever. Step by step getting there and by 40, whether life has gone the way you planned or hoped or not, it has gone somewhere and you've lived and learned and loved and experienced and are older and wiser for all of it. 

Sarah though, at age 40, just bought her first car. Hasn't left daddy's house, doesn't work outside the family fold, has never loved or lost love, not learned or grown from experiences...

For all the comments made over the years that she is almost 40 and not married and however those discussions have gone - -this just makes me incredibly sad. 

Edited April 27, 2021 by fundiefan

[IReallyAmHopewell]

23 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

She had a driver's license. Not everyone can afford a car at 16, and not all parents can afford to buy their kids a car. Some people wait until later to get a car. Depending on the state, you can't get a license on 16th birthday.

She's also 39.

Well, consider me corrected! LOL. I never met to imply any of that. My kids went to work at 16 and bought their own cars. Wow. I'm sorry.

[fundiewatch]

Not everyone drives, not everyone has a car. But this car purchase feels a lot like getting Ellie did— giving Sarah something as her life remains otherwise stagnant. All of the reversal boys are doing serious next steps— one in an apartment, one in a giant house, most parenting— and she shares a room with the sisters still in bunk beds, likely.  I really wonder if they still gather in the living room for individual Bible time in the am, proctored by Steve. Sarah was a full grown up still living the teen life, and I wonder if Mary and Anna do too. 

[DonutWench]

12 hours ago, Nothing if not critical said:

I get your point, and I'm sure it's true for many people, but it doesn't have to be.

I'm 49, and I have never owned a car in my life. I've never wanted one, so I've always made sure I live in a place where I don't need it. I hate driving anyway, so I use public transport, walk or go by bike. Makes for a much better ecological footprint, too.

I know that's not possible for everyone, and I do occasionally enjoy renting a car when we're on vacation. Just putting it out there that living your life without owning  your own car doesn't have to be terrible. It all comes down to choice, as usual.

I’m similar. I’m 35 and have no desire to own a car and drive, and I’ve never had a car or a license (I have a visual impairment that makes it more difficult than usual, though there are plenty of folks who have the same impairment and can and do drive), but I’m also very independent and live in a walkable city with good public transit. I’ve also been living on my own since I was 18. My husband does have a car, which is nice for emergencies, but even he only drives once a week to go to the grocery store. For us it’s a quality of life preference.

Sarah actually reminds me a lot of my mom. She’s very shy and cautious and didn’t buy her first car and get her own apartment until she was 29, despite having a great education that she paid for herself and a successful career. It was another decade after that before she met my dad (her first relationship ever) and had me. Of course she wasn’t part of a fundamentalist religion and her parents weren’t weird and controlling, but I can’t help but have a little hope for Sarah when I think of my mom (I should also add that like Sarah, my mom very much wanted a husband and kids. I don’t mean to imply that that’s the goal for all women/anyone.)