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Michaela & Brandon 6: She Is an LPN and He Is Boring.....


nelliebelle1197

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  • 5 months later...

According to a Q&A, Michaela was pregnant and miscarried a little girl at some point.

 

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Edited by HermioneSparrow
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I am sorry for them, but glad they do not feel pressured to share details that they’d rather keep private.

It is very sad though.  They look so extraordinarily happy in that photo.

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3 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Sad for them. I wonder if M. Also has the clotting issues in addition to infertility?

She does. She has stated she has several.clottong disorders, like her sisters. 

Alyssa seems to be the only adult Bates girl who does not have a clotting disorder. 

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51 minutes ago, sableduck said:

I am sorry for them, but glad they do not feel pressured to share details that they’d rather keep private.

It is very sad though.  They look so extraordinarily happy in that photo.

I feel bad for them too. In a cult that praises fertility and boatloads of kids, I think she would be happy with just one. 

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Ok I’m no expert on IVF. I have never done it. I’ve done IUI not IVF. But I wonder why she wouldn’t be a candidate for either one. Even surrogacy isn’t an option for them? I can’t help but wonder why. 

5E71060C-F4B5-41B6-A9A2-8E69CC46E86B.jpeg

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8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

So she has to do the shots while pregnant?

Who knows? The daughters seem to get different advice. Katie's doctor told her that without her having a history of miscarriage, the shots are not necessary and come with their own complications , so she is not on them. Carlin took them the whole time with both pregnancies. Josie is apparently allergic to an ingredient and can't take them. 

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Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ok I’m no expert on IVF. I have never done it. I’ve done IUI not IVF. But I wonder why she wouldn’t be a candidate for either one. Even surrogacy isn’t an option for them? I can’t help but wonder why. 

5E71060C-F4B5-41B6-A9A2-8E69CC46E86B.jpeg

I can see IVF not working, it didn't work for a friend of  mine. And I know they are kind of hinky with adoption. 

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2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ok I’m no expert on IVF. I have never done it. I’ve done IUI not IVF. But I wonder why she wouldn’t be a candidate for either one. Even surrogacy isn’t an option for them? I can’t help but wonder why. 

5E71060C-F4B5-41B6-A9A2-8E69CC46E86B.jpeg

IVF comes with increased risk of blood clots, someone with several clotting disorders would not be a great candidate. 

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27 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ok I’m no expert on IVF. I have never done it. I’ve done IUI not IVF. But I wonder why she wouldn’t be a candidate for either one. Even surrogacy isn’t an option for them? I can’t help but wonder why. 

 

Since they managed to get pregnant once but misscarried my guess for not even surrogacy being a medical option would be that their embryos are not viable, as in both carrying some genetic condition that makes the embryos unviable for some reason/incompatible with life.

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I feel like such a bitch, and feel free everyone to call me that, and worse, probably nothing worse than I am calling myself right now. I am terribly sorry for Michaela and Brandon, I really hope that goes without saying. And perhaps it makes losing a baby even worse when you are in a fertility cult, but can you imagine the life that little girl would have had - with the beliefs M&B hold? I kind of hate myself for thinking like this; at least the bajillion Bates g'kids could at least be spread out more evenly, in a slightly fairer world - but, while these people will bring up their children with the awful beliefs they hold, and purposely "shelter", "train up" and "educate" them the way they do, the fewer victims they make, the better.

I really do feel for M&B, and they are, Michaela anyway, (I don't know much about Brandon) victims themselves, but while these fundies persist with their terrible child raising practices, I want as few babies born to them as possible. I feel like some anti-pro-lifer. They couldn't give a shit about the existing person, b/c of the hypothetical/potential person, and here I am, preferring unhappiness for existing strangers in favour of the potential happiness of their potential children. Urgh, I am an awful person (though, at least, unlike a vocal pro-lifer, I wouldn't accost strangers to yell in their faces about it, or ban fundies from having children, so I guess I have that going for me...) and I am also not good at dealing with conflicting emotions. I probably have more in common with fundies than I thought I did, which is horrifying.

OK, everyone. Have at me. Or at least, hopefully, someone here who is much more eloquent than I am, will phrase this far better than I can.

 

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I know what you mean, the truth is less baby born into a cult is a good thing but at the same time my heart hurts for Michaela who spent childhood + youth raising her parents children, has seen her siblings have baby after baby and can't even have one. It is that weird conflict between not wanting a child born into that belief system and feeling terrible for Michaela as an individual. 

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Oh course what I would love to see is Michael and Brandon leaving the cult and THEN having a baby girl. But they seem pretty drunk on the kool-aid. So I have little hope. 

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8 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

my heart hurts for Michaela who spent childhood + youth raising her parents children,

and I think this is what makes it worse. She had to do so much work, lived through all the years of poverty, made all those godawful dresses, potty trained the siblings her parents couldn't be arsed to potty train while they made more soldiers for the Jesus army etc etc. And she doesn't even get her own child at the end of it. And, while the likelihood is vanishingly small, it still exists - that she would see her own child, fall in love with it for the individual it is - and actually give that child the love, attention and opportunities it deserves. It's heartbreaking all round, really.

 

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33 minutes ago, Zebedee said:

OK, everyone. Have at me. Or at least, hopefully, someone here who is much more eloquent than I am, will phrase this far better than I can.

You don't want more innocent children to grow up in an oppressive, potentially abusive environment. That seems fair! My heart breaks when I hear ex fundie stories. I snark a lot, but truly, it sounds like it can be a torcherous environment.

I guess we could cling to the hope that once they had their own baby, it might maybe possibly make them reexamine their views and raise it differently. 

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7 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

You don't want more innocent children to grow up in an oppressive, potentially abusive environment. That seems fair! My heart breaks when I hear ex fundie stories. I snark a lot, but truly, it sounds like it can be a torcherous environment.

I guess we could cling to the hope that once they had their own baby, it might maybe possibly make them reexamine their views and raise it differently. 

There are so few quiverful fundies with just one child. Even the fundies who have dealt with infertility have 2 kids or more. Martha Morton has only one and she hasn’t changed her beliefs. But I will say she has given that child way more attention than her cousins get. She gets one on one homeschooling every day. She gets all of her dad’s attention when he gets home from work. She has her own room and isn’t sharing with 4 siblings. She isn’t fighting over who gets the last chicken leg. I’m sure Martha will never be glad she only has one. But there are definitely some pros in the fundie world.

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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10 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

what I would love to see is Michael and Brandon leaving the cult and THEN having a baby girl

 

5 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

cling to the hope that once they had their own baby, it might maybe possibly make them reexamine their views and raise it differently. 

Yes. I comfort myself with the thought that, whatever I wish, it makes no difference in the outcome. I do try not to wish bad things on people - I have really pushed myself with TFG in that instance - even though I am not at all superstitious. Not for any karma reasons, or anything, it just isn't nice to think that random people, anywhere, might rejoice in your tragedies. Even if you are orange.

And there is a big part of me that really wants her to have her baby. If she were a Sim, I would've given her many (she would clearly have the family oriented trait, as a Sim). Of course, in the Sims, if you neglect your children, they take them away, Kelly-Jo, Gil, JB et al... And of course, we don't actually know that she wouldn't reexamine her views after having a child. But, despite all Michaela's upbringing, she (and other fundies) aren't Sims, and children are not rewards, godly trophies or prizes.

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I’ve shared before that during my quiverful/birth control is evil days, I had secondary infertility.  A friend at the time signed me up for Above Rubies so I reached out to Nancy Campbell to ask what her thoughts were on infertility and resources.  Her response was basically I didn’t have enough faith and if god wanted me to have more kids I would.  

I was never taught my job was to have kids, I was never taught birth control was wrong so outside of the friend who signed me up for above rubies, I knew nobody else IRL with those views and we didn’t live close to friend.  So it was easier for me to find support and encouragement from those who didn’t agree with Nancy and assured me it wasn’t my lack of faith and if I never had another kid, I was still amazing.

My heart breaks for Michael because wanting a child when you can’t have one and everyone around you is or asking you when you are getting pregnant is rough.  But like others it’s always nice to not bring children into cults.

I went on to have 4 more kids and did use birth control.  I also eventually got off the above rubies mailing list after trying for years. 

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12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Martha Morton has only one and she hasn’t changed her beliefs. But I will say she has given that child way more attention than her cousins get. She gets one on one homeschooling every day. She gets all of her dad’s attention when he gets home from work. She has her own room and isn’t sharing with 4 siblings. She isn’t fighting over who gets the last chicken leg.

Well, if you are Qf and you have one child, you never really have to put your beliefs to the test when you have 6 under 6 or whatever. Or are pregnant within 6-12 weeks of giving birth, breastfeeding one, maybe two, and potty training two or more. And it could be argued that, having one on one attention in homeschool from a religious zealot is worse than competing with your 10+ siblings (though hopefully at least MM's kid does have good basic reading/writing/maths skills). Depending on the father (I know little about the Mortons) undivided attention could be great. Or awful. Imagine PP's undivided attention?Though at least Zsu seems like with only a few kids they would be OK-ish on the schooling front (minus the creationism crap etc) Not having to fight for space, alone time and food *should* go without saying, but then again, these are babies raised in a cult, and "worldly" standards don't apply.

But still, if you are a QFer with a single child, or even 2-3, and stick to your beliefs, can you imagine the pressure put upon that child/children to go forth and multiply? And, since they won't really have experienced fighting for food, love, space and attention, they may just swallow the crap hook line and sinker, and each end up with 10+ kids fighting for every scrap. There is just no good outcome, at least without a lot of unnecessary struggles, while parents stick with this stuff. And that's even assuming all kids are "average" and "normal" (by fundie standards) in literally every way; which, honestly, having met a lot of people, is really quite a rare thing.

 

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3 hours ago, llucie said:

Since they managed to get pregnant once but misscarried my guess for not even surrogacy being a medical option would be that their embryos are not viable, as in both carrying some genetic condition that makes the embryos unviable for some reason/incompatible with life.

I would hope then that they would not continue to try and get pregnant 

I know I may sound harsh 

But there is one thing about falling pregnant without knowing that you carry genetic defects and then choosing whether you keep or terminate the baby.

Over trying to get pregnant knowing that you 100 percent will bring a baby into this world that will have major disabilities or not be compatible with life and, given their stance on abortion this is exactly what they would be doing.  

I wonder what their stance on birth  control is and or will be if this is the case, no birth control possibly have many ill babies or birth control and prevent that?

I have a child so I am biased because I am not desperate to be a mother. I can not imagine actively trying to have a baby that I know would be born into pain.

Again not talking about women who find out in pregnancy.  

I would imagine they must have had the genetic testing to find out it was a girl and as they only state they had one ultrasound they must have lost her early. I had my blood test at about 11 weeks I think I knew super early I was having a healthy girl (praise rufus). 

My woman's heart aches for Michael, I too ached for a child. 

My Mother's heart knows no child should be born into a cult. 

 

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5 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

I would hope then that they would not continue to try and get pregnant 

I know I may sound harsh 

But there is one thing about falling pregnant without knowing that you carry genetic defects and then choosing whether you keep or terminate the baby.

Over trying to get pregnant knowing that you 100 percent will bring a baby into this world that will have major disabilities or not be compatible with life and, given their stance on abortion this is exactly what they would be doing.  

I wonder what their stance on birth  control is and or will be if this is the case, no birth control possibly have many ill babies or birth control and prevent that?

 

 

 

There is this youtubers that i think are at least fundie little and did IVF (Phil and Alex), most of their embryos had genetic issues. The healthiest one resulted in their only pregnancy and the girl needed major heart surgery. All their other embryos had genetic abnormalities and they were adviced to discard them but because of religious beliefs they choose to "give them a chance". She said they believed God could perform a miracle. So i imagine that would be the "fundie" mindset in that situation, althought most fundies i think wouldnt even be ok with IVF in the fist place.

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When is the 1st ultrasound done usually?

I feel for M & B but I can't wish them any children. And I don't think that makes me bad person.

When I got divorced many people felt the need to tell me it was a blessing/so lucky/thank God I didn't have children with him. It hurt so very much to be told this again and again. But in hindsight they were absolutely correct. 

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