Jed and Katey 2: The Hidden Engagement?

[seraaa]

7 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

What a contrast between the two announcements:

 

 

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They go on to say how delighted they are that Katey has joined the family, and how proud they are of the man that Jed has become. 

Wonder if Jed's announcement is a response to people criticising what they wrote about Justin's, or whether the fam is just...more enthused about Jed and Katey

[WiseGirl]

Update #2 - now I know Katey's dad said it was arranged. Would they have to go through with it if they didn't like each other? Her dad seems a tad...controlling. 

 For those wondering about other (Wissman) relationships. Marionette (not going to tag) already confirmed them in...I think the Jana thread. If the couples want to be under the radar good for them. ***Update.. check the video @eye_browzposted in the Jana thread. Katey's brother shared a rehearsal dinner video. Stephen is at the table with Jana and JB. Guess what.. he's a pilot....

Hello magazine has an article but no pictures nothing is on USweekly site yet.

https://www.hellomagazine.com/film/20210403110288/counting-on-jed-duggar-married-katey-nakatsu/

Edited April 4, 2021 by WiseGirl
Update

[xenobia]

22 minutes ago, WiseGirl said:

They look happy and in love.  I don't get why people think it was arranged as they have been together at least since Jessa's pumpkin video.

We think it was arranged since Kateys father said so at the beginning of the ceremony, and because of what we know about his views on bethrotal (even though we haven't read his locked blogpost). 

An arranged marriage doesn't mean that they can't look happy on their wedding day. They probably both want this, for different reasons. 

[seraaa]

22 minutes ago, xenobia said:

We think it was arranged since Kateys father said so at the beginning of the ceremony, and because of what we know about his views on bethrotal (even though we haven't read his locked blogpost). 

An arranged marriage doesn't mean that they can't look happy on their wedding day. They probably both want this, for different reasons. 

Yes. It's clear that her dad was involved in the process, but based on what he said, it seems like this is what she wanted. And it seems like they've been involved with each other for roughly a year, at least, so there was time to back out if either of them felt they didn't want to go through with it.

In that context, it's not much different from Jed's siblings' relationships. (Setting aside the betrothal). I really hope so, anyway. I really do. For their sakes.

Edited April 4, 2021 by seraaa

[fish_ca]

21 minutes ago, seraaa said:

Yes. It's clear that her dad was involved in the process, but based on what he said, it seems like this is what she wanted. 

It is not like she had a choice. It was expected from her to want that. Seriously, 12 year old ( or whatever age she was then) girl relying on father to pick up her husband...?

Their relationship reminds me a bit of the Neely girls. Their father also seems controlling. They all are so stiff and there is so much tension on nearly every picture I can see that makes me cringe. Maybe not that much when it comes to Jed and Katey. But to be fair I havn't seen many yet.

 

Edited April 4, 2021 by fish_ca
Adding sth

[J'Lurker]

I keep hoping they mean arranged as 'ordained' or 'divine intervention' or even 'set-up (blind date style) vs. 'those cows were her dowry'

[seraaa]

9 minutes ago, fish_ca said:

It is not like she had a choice. It was expected from her to want that. Seriously, 12 year old ( or whatever age she was then) girl relying on father to pick up her husband...?

Their relationship reminds me a bit of the Neely girls. Their father also seems controlling. They all are so stiff and there is so much tension on nearly every picture I can see that makes me cringe. Maybe not that much when it comes to Jed and Katey. But to be fair I havn't seen many yet.

 

Absolutely, this was her upbringing. I just hope she continues to find her choices fulfilling, at least. And if not, well, they're an independent unit now. In theory.

6 minutes ago, J'Lurker said:

I keep hoping they mean arranged as 'ordained' or 'divine intervention' or even 'set-up (blind date style) vs. 'those cows were her dowry'

Some version of "I liked this man and also my dad approved of him, after interrogating him thoroughly"

Edited April 4, 2021 by seraaa

[fundiefan]

My sperm donor wasn't part of my life growing up. For all that means & brings, the good thing is there was never a man telling me/training me to do his bidding, whether in marriage or otherwise. 

I honesty can't help but feel bad for the Duggar kids. Whether their marriage was literally arranged or not, they have been raised to think of nothing else for their future. And, it must be the first person of the opposite sex they have any interest in lest they dare to touch each other and become dirty for their future baby making spouse. 

It's all really fucked up and no matter how many Duggar spawn get married or how happy they may look, it simply makes me sad. Sad for them and sad for society as a whole. 

Overall, their choices are removed from them. Sure, they seem to like each other while at the altar, and they get right down to baby making. But, really, did any of them have any other choice? Stay home & take care of all your younger siblings, or marry the first person that comes along? 

Lack of choice doesn't mean they were literally, physically forced. Lack of choice is also the conditioning & brainwashing from birth of what is expected of them and what rules are to be followed. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Lack of choice doesn't mean they were literally, physically forced. Lack of choice is also the conditioning & brainwashing from birth of what is expected of them and what rules are to be followed. 

This is exactly what many people don’t seem to understand when talking about fundie kids. Especially fundie girls. 

[seraaa]

20 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Lack of choice doesn't mean they were literally, physically forced. Lack of choice is also the conditioning & brainwashing from birth of what is expected of them and what rules are to be followed. 

Yes. This something that's interesting to think about.

All are all of us influenced by our upbringing. We could say that we are all conditioned to believe certain things and behave in certain ways. And no child chooses the conditions of their upbringing.

It's also true that the presence of certain factors can increase choice and agency. These are the things such as information and access to resources. The encouragement to be curious. Even so, different beliefs and actions can take time to form and if you never have reason to question, and if you find yourself happy enough, you may never challenge what you've been taught. You may question it and conclude that it's good!

I also think whether people do challenge it can be as much a matter of fate, circumstance, and personality as access to resources.

 

Edited April 4, 2021 by seraaa

[LilMissMetaphor]

Ok, wedding's over, now we can discuss What Kateydid Next 

[Travelfan]

15 minutes ago, seraaa said:

Yes. This something that's interesting to think about.

All are all of us influenced by our upbringing. We could say that we are all conditioned to believe certain things and behave in certain ways. And no child chooses the conditions of their upbringing.

It's also true that the presence of certain factors can increase choice and agency. These are the things such as information and access to resources. The encouragement to be curious. Even so, different beliefs and actions can take time to form and if you never have reason to question, and if you find yourself happy enough, you may never challenge what you've been taught. You may question it and conclude that it's good!

I also think whether people do challenge it can be as much a matter of fate, circumstance, and personality as access to resources.

 

Yep!! Absolutely true!!  I was raised in a Christian home (not fundy, but pretty conservative Christian). I doubted gods existence as a child but that doubt led me to double down on my faith. I knew that doubt meant eternity in hell so I fought hard against that doubt. I bought into all the conservative Christian stuff fully. I attended public school and went to a liberal arts college but I held tight to my beliefs and would not allow any deeper thinking or outside influence in my mind. I told myself all the science things I was learning in school were wrong and deceptions of the devil and I felt bad for my classmates who believed in evolution etc because they were being deceived by satan.
 

I can happily say that now in my 40s I’m fully an atheist and feel free for the first time in my life. However I wish I had figured out to question and think for myself during my teen/young adult years instead of middle age. There are many more obstacles to changing your life the older you are. My husband was a pastor, we were raising our kids as Christians and as I had this gradual awakening over the last handful of years it was so much scarier to change my life now than it would have been at 18 when all I would have done is disappoint my parents. 
 

 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

10 hours ago, kiwi said:

When are we going to see the first joint wedding?

Id be getting pretty annoyed if I was in their guest list. Two weddings - what a month apart? In completely different states. During a pandemic

They need to do a morning wedding at venue 1 for couple 1, followed by a brunch reception and an afternoon wedding for couple 2, followed by a dinner reception. Joint dance.

They didn’t dance even when they were just ordinary Baptists. Jim Bob and Michelle’s first date was a high school “banquet” that was what his Christian school did instead of prom.

No one should be pressured to have a double wedding. It makes sense if two siblings marry two siblings, but even then, there’s nothing wrong with wanting your own big day. That’s especially true for fundie women who get literally nothing else that focuses on them. In this case, the Spiveys and the Nakatsus both have money and they don’t live in the same place. Obviously they don’t want to be sharing what’s left of the spotlight at a Duggar-hosted wedding. As for the pandemic, combining the guest lists would make it even more of a super-spreader event. They don’t care if their guests are annoyed - they would probably prefer for fewer people to attend than they feel obligated to invite. And if you add in getting-ready time and photography time, having separate ceremonies on the same day would be utterly exhausting, especially for a huge family with 20 small grandchildren. Having them on different days close together - maybe the Wednesday and Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend - might work better.

[Chrissy1986]

15 hours ago, FrozenSmile said:

I came over here as soon as i saw the announcement - i was shocked! I had no clue that he was even courting, let alone getting married. I’ve been out of the loop for a while, though (thanks covid).

Would you say this marriage is arranged? I mean her dad sort of said it was, but I also don’t speak fundie so I’m not sure if what he is saying actually means what it sounds like it means 

[just_ordinary]

I think arranged could have several meanings. It could be “arranged by God”, under close supervision by parents, Jed approaching her father to get to know her without her knowledge, both parents setting up meetings so they could get acquainted (I can totally see bigger group barbecues with more than one family with their eligible bachelors and bachelorettes), parents pushing those partners no matter what they actually want or just support their choices. Another factor, however I hope a small one, is that it seems there are young women who actually ask their parents to arrange a marriage for them. Some buy completely into this Fundie bullshit and believe that’s how it should be. Some are brainwashed into believing this, but I have seen comments of young women being frustrated their parents thought the idea crazy and didn’t want to take on that role. I often wonder how those come up with it? I mean I get why teenager insecurities might make it seem worth a second thought but actually approaching your parents about it is pretty serious.

Edited April 4, 2021 by just_ordinary

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

If these two concieved a first born son last night, I wonder if they'll believe he's the second coming of Jesus.

*yes, I see the potential for eighth grader jokes in that last sentence, but I'm already in the prayer closet!

[OyToTheVey]

My friend has an arranged marriage. She couldn’t find anyone she liked so she asked her pastor to find someone. She wanted to get married and no one was biting the tradition way so she went old school. Her wedding pictures looked so awkward. Basically two strangers standing close. They’re closer now and have a baby. There was a bunch of other stuff going on I won’t get into. Some people are ok with it. I personally couldn’t do it. But it was my friends choice. 

[ADoyle90815]

I will say that it's nice that her dress doesn't have a modesty panel. Her vows did make me cringe, as it means that she's his property now.

[AussieKrissy]

40 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

My friend has an arranged marriage. She couldn’t find anyone she liked so she asked her pastor to find someone. She wanted to get married and no one was biting the tradition way so she went old school. Her wedding pictures looked so awkward. Basically two strangers standing close. They’re closer now and have a baby. There was a bunch of other stuff going on I won’t get into. Some people are ok with it. I personally couldn’t do it. But it was my friends choice. 

But now I want to know the whole story lol 

[Satan'sFortress]

Who was Jed's sister mommy? Jinger? Is that why she was in the bridal party?

Also, any Dillard sightings?

[nelliebelle1197]

23 hours ago, PurpleCats said:

Sadly, Anna has “normal” family and Pest gave her every reason to question their religion and leave.  I don’t see Katey having a “normal” brother as any hope she’ll leave.  She seems very brainwashed by the cult. 

Do you know anything about the Kellers? Anna’s family is as fundie or more so than the Duggars. Where are you getting that they are “normal”? I assume you have the Kellers confused with another family or you don’t know anything about them. At all.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 hour ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Who was Jed's sister mommy? Jinger? Is that why she was in the bridal party?

Also, any Dillard sightings?

Jinger is only five years older (the boy twins were basically her fifth birthday present). The Vuolos went along at least once when the Duggars visited Katey’s family in Arizona. 

[metheglyn]

4 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Do you know anything about the Kellers? Anna’s family is as fundie or more so than the Duggars. Where are you getting that they are “normal”? I assume you have the Kellers confused with another family or you don’t know anything about them. At all.

I don't think @PurpleCats was saying that all of Anna's family was normal. It very clearly isn't. But some of the siblings, like Susanna, who had a baby out of wedlock and is currently a CFO, and whichever brother reportedly offered to help her, are way more "normal" than some of the other members of her family or others in the cult.

[nelliebelle1197]

7 minutes ago, metheglyn said:

I don't think @PurpleCats was saying that all of Anna's family was normal. It very clearly isn't. But some of the siblings, like Susanna, who had a baby out of wedlock and is currently a CFO, and whichever brother reportedly offered to help her, are way more "normal" than some of the other members of her family or others in the cult.

Ah, okay, I must have misread it the first time. I can see that now. I was just stunned that anyone would think the Kellers were normal- I see them as less loud and flashy Rods.

In my defense, I got my second Covid shot Friday and am just surfacing from two days of 102-103 fevers! Sorry if I misunderstood, Cats!

Edited April 5, 2021 by nelliebelle1197

[justmy2cents]

2 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Who was Jed's sister mommy? Jinger? Is that why she was in the bridal party?

Yes, it was Jinger. She had Jed and Hannie.