Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 31

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I could see the repug party trying this.

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"Unreasonable, Deranged Lunatic"

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Quickly after the election, which Donald Trump LOST, attorney Sidney Powell joined Donald Trump’s legal team that was trying to steal the election away from Joe Biden. Sidney came with the impeccable credentials of being Michael Flynn’s lawyer where part of her legal defense was that he was framed by a “deep state plot.” She sent a letter to then-Attorney General William Barr asking him to investigate the investigation, and he did. Then the Justice Department attempted to drop the prosecution. Eventually, Trump pardoned Flynn…before he LOST the election to President Joe Biden.

This brilliant legal strategy of Qanon conspiracy theories landed her a position on Trump’s legal team where she argued Trump actually won the election he LOST and it was stolen in a plot conducted by communists, globalists, George Soros, The Clintons, the deceased Hugo Chavez, the CIA, hundreds of Democrats and even Republicans like Georgia governor Brian Kemp. Somehow, the Mickey Mouse Club escaped an accusation.

Sidney Powell conducted press conference after press conference, including the infamous one next to a porn shop with Rudy Giuliani when his head started dripping axle grease or some shit. Sidney also lost lawsuits in multiple states. Her conspiracy theories got so crazy, the Trump legal team officially dropped her and said she was acting “independently,” yet she continued to file lawsuits. While she wasn’t officially on the legal team anymore, she was still meeting with Donald Trump in the Oval Office where she suggested such brilliant tactics as declaring martial law to overturn the election he LOST .

Sidney promised she would reveal a “Kraken” of a plot to steal the election from Donald Trump which she called, “The greatest crime of the century if not the life of the world.” According to Sidney Powell, stealing the election from Donald Trump was worst than the Holocaust, the Black Plaque, the Inquisition, the coronavirus pandemic, Japanese internment, 9/11, New Coke, the Guns and Roses album “Chinese Democracy,” the CATS! movie, the Crocs fad, the KFC Double-Down chicken sandwich, and Ted Cruz’s face.

Twitter banned Powell for pushing Qanon conspiracy theories. Michigan and the city of Detroit (in case you’re a Republican, is a city in Michigan) filed separate motions in federal court to sanction Powell for attempting to overturn the election Donald Trump LOST .

During Sidney’s charade of a stolen election that Donald Trump actually LOST, she slandered Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic. Both companies demanded she retract her statements. Fox News and Newsmax, two networks that had promoted the bullshit campaign, started walking back the conspiracy theories.

Dominion and Smartmatic are now both suing Sidney Powell for defamation. Dominion is seeking $1.3 billion. Smartmatic is suing Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Fox News, Newsmax, and several idiot hosts from Fox for $2.7 billion. The companies may not get as much as they’re seeking, but they’ll probably win their lawsuits and in the process, Sidney Powell is likely to lose her license to practice law. I think she found her Kraken.

Think of it. If she’s too deranged to be on Twitter, then what the hell is she doing practicing law?

Now, Sidney’s lawyers, who I hope are better than she is, are arguing in court that no “reasonable” person could believe Sidney’s bullshit.

They filed a motion arguing, “No reasonable person would conclude that the statements by Powell about the 2020 election were truly statements of fact.” They continued this ridiculous argument with, “It was clear to reasonable persons that Powell’s claims were her opinions and legal theories.”

They’re arguing she should not be responsible for the shit that comes out of her mouth. You’re representing a lawyer, not a three-year-old or a drunk at closing time. Wait. Was she drunk?

Sidney’s lawyers argued Dominion could not prove Powell took action with “actual malice”, because “she believed the allegations then and she believes them now.”

So, no “reasonable” person could believe Sidney’s claims about the election being stolen by Jews, commies, Clintons, and Chavez were facts, but they were her legal opinions and she truly believed in them. I think her lawyers argued she’s not a reasonable person.

They’re also arguing she based her “legal opinions” on bullshit that no reasonable person could believe. Doesn’t that mean she should not be practicing law? Shouldn’t your legal opinion be something that reasonable people could believe? You didn’t see OJ’s lawyers argue Nicole was murdered by Hugo Chavez.

I agree with her lawyers. No reasonable person could believe anything Powell said about the election being stolen. Only fucking deranged lunatics would ever believe any of the debunked bullshit Sidney said. But, some lunatics did believe her bullshit. In fact, a lot of lunatics bought into her scam.

One of those lunatics was the president (sic) of the United States of America who then directed thousands of other lunatics to storm the Capitol and attempt a bloody coup to overturn an election he LOST. People died because of this lie.

Today, Donald Trump is still pushing this lie Sidney helped spread. More than half of all Republicans still believe this lie. According to Sidney Powell’s legal team, the Republican Party consists of “unreasonable” people. Shit, we already knew that. I don’t think reasonable people could vote for Donald Trump. Fortunately for us, reasonable people outnumbered Republicans because Donald Trump LOST the election.

Donald Trump used Sidney’s lies to destroy our democracy and Constitution. I think Dominion and Smartmatic might have a case. It’s not their fault Donald Trump LOST the election.

 

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"Hosed In Georgia"

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Georgia went blue in the 2020 elections. The traditionally red state in the deep south gave its 16 electoral votes to Joe Biden and both its Senate seats to Democrats, one Jewish and one black. The changing demographics in Georgia have swung the state, at the very least, purple.

Georgia Republicans responded logically to this shift and decided to pay attention to the changing demographics of their state. They realized they need to appeal to a wider base and expand their platform. The Georgia Republican Party would stop being dictated to by the gun lobby, cease listening only to billionaires, and finally return to being the party of fiscal and moral conservatism instead of a cult in service to an orange racist reality TV host in the church of narcissism. Nah, I’m just kidding.

Instead, Georgia Republicans, seeing that more people in their state don’t want to vote for them, decided to make it harder for the “wrong” people to vote. You know, black people. Republicans don’t want voters to select their leaders. They want Republican leaders to select their voters.

Republicans scream about election integrity but what they really mean is getting rid of all integrity at the polls. Integrity would be counting every vote and encouraging as many eligible people to vote as possible. Integrity would be having faith in democracy. Integrity would be having faith that your message will appeal to a majority of voters.

Georgia Republicans know they can only appeal to white voters. Republicans in every state know this which is why there are currently efforts to restrict voting in 43 states. And yes, all these efforts are designed to restrict and make it harder for some people to vote. Again, the “wrong” people. Every single one of these efforts is racist and a return to Jim Crow.

Trump attorney and ridiculous human being Sidney Powell’s defense for being sued for defamation is that no “reasonable” person could have believed her voter and election fraud bullshit. Yet, Republicans in 43 states are using exactly that to justify making voting harder.

There was no widespread fraud in the 2020 election. There were no hidden boxes of ballots. Voting machines did not switch votes from Trump to Biden. There was no illegal ballot harvesting. Donald Trump did NOT win the election only to have it stolen from him. The election was NOT stolen from Trump by “globalists,” George Soros, President Obama, The Clinton Foundation, Hugo Chavez, China, the “deep state,” or the Smurfs. President Joe Biden won the election because quite simply, more people voted for him than for Donald Trump.

Republicans, without any proof, claimed there was massive fraud and of course, all of it came from black voting districts and precincts. The fact of the matter is, the last time there was enough voter fraud to redo an election, it was because of Republican voter fraud in 2018 for a North Carolina congressional seat. Republicans are basing all these moves to restrict voting on the premise that when more black people vote, there’s less trust in the system.

The new law in Georgia will decrease the number of ballot drop boxes. It will make requirements for voter ID ever more strict for absentee balloting. And (you’re gonna love this) make it illegal to hand out water and snacks to people waiting in line to vote. Shockingly, I’m surprised they didn’t enact a dress code that requires polo shirts, Dockers, and wingtip shoes for voting lines. Aw, shit. Did I just give them an idea?

The new law also expands the Legislature’s power over elections, which has raised worries it could interfere with the vote in predominantly Democratic, heavily Black counties like Fulton and Gwinnett. If the Republican-led legislature doesn’t like the way one district voted, are they going to delete their votes?

Republicans scream everyone needs an identification to vote…and then they make it harder to get an identification. In Alabama, they shut down offices in rural counties for the Department of Motor Vehicles, forcing some citizens to travel long distances to acquire an ID. You know who we’re talking about. Again, black people.

But why make it illegal to hand a bottle of water to someone who’s in line for hours waiting to exercise his or her constitutional right to vote? Do you know where those long lines typically occur? In large cities. We’re not talking about tiny Americus, Georgia. We’re talking about Atlanta. Republicans aren’t just trying to make it more difficult for voters to get into the lines…they’re also discouraging getting into those lines…and staying in them until it’s their turn to vote.

If they were really smart, they’d require giving water, lots of it, to black people in long lines…especially to the people with very weak bladders. Shit. Did I give them another idea?

It’s getting to where Republicans can’t win without suppressing votes. Lying, fear-mongering, and gerrymandering just aren’t enough anymore.

Stacey Abrams might have won the governorship if the Secretary of State at that time, who was also her gubernatorial opponent, hadn’t removed thousands of black voters from the voting rolls. In order to win the governorship, that fucker just deleted all the people who wouldn’t vote for him. Abrams is credited for getting out the black vote for President Joe Biden and her state’s two new Democratic senators, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock.

Ms. Abrams said, “Rather than grappling with whether their ideology is causing them to fail, they are instead relying on what has worked in the past. Instead of winning new voters, you rig the system against their participation, and you steal the right to vote.”

Let’s call it for what it is. These are Jim Crow laws. They are stealing the right to vote. These people who claim they’re constitutionalists are violating their fellow Americans constitutional rights. This is a new way to force black voters to count how many beans are in a jar before they can vote. These changes do not increase security in elections. They do not make it possible for more people to vote. They restrict voting. For the love of God, Georgia has made it illegal to hand out water to voters.

Yesterday, Governor Brian Kemp was signing the law in a room full of smiling old white men, when Representative Park Cannon, who is a black woman, was arrested for knocking on the door. What were the charges?

The charges for arresting Representative Cannon are “obstructing law enforcement officers by use of threats or violence,” which is bizarre because it was caught on camera and there doesn’t appear to be any threats or violence. It’s not like she had a can of bear spray. She faces a second charge of “disrupting general assembly sessions or other meetings of members.” Uh, she is a member of the general assembly. What did she do to disrupt it? Enact a filibuster?

If Georgia is arresting a black woman for knocking on a door over voting rights, what are they going to do to ordinary black citizens?

Congress needs to vote for the Voting Rights Act and stop all these racist laws of voter suppression. In the Senate, Republicans and Democrats both have 50 members, yet Democrats represent 41 million more Americans than Republicans. It’s ridiculous Republicans have so much power. Republicans actually demand that they have more representation than other Americans.

If these laws are not blocked, Republicans will once again win control of the Senate, the House, and put judges on courts (who will block challenges to these racist laws) while representing fewer Americans than Democrats. The Republican Party is NOT the party for the majority of Americans. Creating racist laws to prevent fellow Americans from voting shows the kind of shit they’ll do when they do regain control. Worst yet, these new laws restricting votes may allow them to simply hand Donald Trump the White House in 2024.

These laws are racist. Anyone voting and supporting them is a racist. President Joe Biden and the Democrats in Congress have to make it stop.

 

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