Bro Gary Hawkins 17: Naschitti

[thoughtful]

OK, FJ folks, I know I have fallen behind in my Bro Gary reporting. I will try to get to last Sunday's services tomorrow, but for now, here are some Facebook posts.

Why is it even people of GOD want fun?

Spoiler

Are our grammar not worth studying for?

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Someone let him preach at a camp meeting, instead of just being Becky's sous chef - I will check this one out, as well:

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Translation - I am serving the LORD, so give me stuff:

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Nekkidness! Nekkidness everywhere!

Also Gary, if you want to grow figs, you sow seeds. If you want to cover nekkidness, you sew fig leaves.

Spoiler

And instead of an, but at least he said serve, not service, this time:

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[thoughtful]

God sent Becky a necklace. Should Gary be jealous?

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It's the Pancreas of the Ocean!

Becky sings: "Near, far, wherever we are, I believe that our car will break dow-own . . . "

 

Is Becky supporting or mocking Gary here?

Spoiler

 

[AmazonGrace]

[thoughtful]

The Jun 6 video of Sunday School at Walker Bible Baptist Church begins with the pastor in the middle of talking about how he wants to be called Brother David, despite having three doctorates, which he only got "because I wanted to be a better pastor."

And he goes on to mock those with honorary degrees. Gary mm-hmms and chuckles and sounds like he's agreeing. Gary, I thought you didn't like those "hah-dollar degrees."

Doctor Brother David says Covid has been "a great thing" ,  that it's "80% lie and 20% truth," and "whether you like it or not, Fauci's been found to be a liar." He tells them their immune system is down "because of the garbage that you eat."

Then he cheerfully asks if anyone has an anniversary or birthday in June. "Miss Jamie'll be 54 years of age, and she's hotter than she was at 24."

He asks them to pray for someone because she now has to work on Saturdays. It's because the Seventh Day Adventists want Saturdays off (a woman says "wicked"), because she's been taking Sundays off. "But that's what the wicked world does."

He tells Gary that he had closed the church for a few weeks (I guess at the beginning of the pandemic, from context), but he'll never do that again. Then he teases one of the birthday celebrants, citing her age as about twice what it is, and asking her husband "haven't you taught your wife not to back-talk?"

He yammers at Gary for a while about the microphones, and the Hawkinses come up. His excuse when Gary does his "Ah thought this was a Baptist church" shit is "It's a Yankee Baptist church," then they fuss with microphones for a while.

After the singing, Becky and Jacob return to the congregation. Someone tosses Gary a water bottle, and he fumbles it. He introduces himself, and reads his beloved

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+13%3A5&version=KJV

as the pastor fusses some more with microphones and wires.

Nobody reacts to "reptobate."

There is one guy who yells at just about everything, and a few other responders in this church. There is also at least one "heheheh" guy.

Gary tells them that he wears a Trump hat because he's a Trump fan, and that he's still the President of the United States, and is  almost drowned out by cheers, amens and applause. Despite this, he says he'll probably get shot for it while he's in MIchigan.

Gary tells them about his history and his burden for America. And, of course, his tent. And they yell back and forth for a while, with Gary doing some of his familiar riffs. Something new - he claims that people sometimes mistakenly call him Dr. Hawkins.

Really? It's probably before he opens his mouth.

He mocks Biden for a while - nothing new, just enjoying playing to a supportive crowd. But he claims he'd rather talk about Jesus.

He reverses corruptible and incorruptible when talking about his blood versus that of Jesus, but asks for help.

Some additions to his brag about preaching to President Nez: "He says he's saved - now, he's prob'ly saved 'n' voted for John - Joe Bahden, ah don't know." But he preached to him just like he would anyone else.

"Y'know, the Indians really was skeereda this thing, more than even some of the white people wasss, and it did hit for the dark collared people for whatever reason it hit 'em a whole lot worse than the white people. Ah don't understand all that stuff, but ah'm not a doctor an' ah don't know all that stuff. Ah'm just sayin' ah know what the facts is 'n' what they've said."

Nothing else that is new.

 

 

 

Edited January 10, 2022 by thoughtful

[Ozlsn]

26 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

He asks them to pray for someone because she now has to work on Saturdays. It's because the Seventh Day Adventists want Saturdays off (a woman says "wicked"), because she's been taking Sundays off. "But that's what the wicked world does."

... what? Presumably the 7th Day Adventists she works with would like their holy day off too, why is this affecting this congregation in any way? This whole thing just struck me as really weird. 

Also laughed at the argument about legalism in the comments on Gary's post - sounds like a few people are a bit over some of the repressive claims being made as "Biblical".

[Ozlsn]

On 6/12/2021 at 10:24 AM, thoughtful said:

It was Naschitti New Mexico, where he preached in February. He did mispronounce, it, but only the first syllable.

I'm glad you remember! I had no idea where the thread title came from either, despite having read all the previous thread. It always looks like Gary sneezed to me. ("Naschitti!" "Bless you!")

[Antipatriarch]

16 hours ago, thoughtful said:

"Miss Jamie'll be 54 years of age, and she's hotter than she was at 24."

Well, duh... menopause.

[thoughtful]

On 6/13/2021 at 5:57 PM, Ozlsn said:

... what? Presumably the 7th Day Adventists she works with would like their holy day off too, why is this affecting this congregation in any way? This whole thing just struck me as really weird.

He was clearly just spreading resentment by asking for prayer for their poor, poor congregant who now has to work on Saturday, and planting the idea that the SDAs asked for Saturday off just because she asked for Sunday off.

I guess that the boss making a schedule that actually benefited the business, and respecting everyone's requests, had nothing to do with it.

What is fair, equal, and according to the Golden Rule never matters to these people (unless they feel someone is taking something away from them, of course).

Their beliefs are right, God's will, and everyone else's are wrong and against God, in their minds.

So, someone wanting a Saturday off because they believe it's the Biblically-ordained day of rest is evil and wicked and a sign of being in The World. Wanting Sunday off is just obeying God's command.

Edited January 10, 2022 by thoughtful

[Xan]

OK folks -- Gary is afraid everyone is going to fall by the wayside if he doesn't chime in on Facebook pretty frequently to let us all know that we're not good enough.

The second one is a little creepy.  It makes me feel like we are just some intestinal parasites troubling Jesus.

Edited June 15, 2021 by Xan

[thoughtful]

The 6/6 (all we need is one more 6!) video for Sunday morning service at Walker Bible Baptist Church in Lansing MI starts with rousing singing of When The Roll is Called Up Yonder, with guitar accompaniment, including an electric guitar.

Pastor Brother (Dr., but he doesn't make a fuss about his three doctorates, really!) David (the guy in the middle) holds the second syllable of the last "yonder" in the refrain until everyone else drops out, then yells "You buncha wimps."

That's some high-class, subtle humor there, folks (not to mention deep theological messaging!).

They segue directly into a waltz tempo, and sing The Family of God, faster and louder than the Gaithers ever intended.

Brother (Dr.) David teases a kid about getting his "big head" out of the way of the camera, so people can see his own pretty face. The child moves, the pastor says he was just kidding, and adds "I love 12-year-olds, don't you?"

I do, and that is why I don't tease and unnerve them with fake directions and insults.

He goes on to make some other lame jokes, about Gary, the weather, etc., then asks prayers for his father, who is about to be moved from wherever he is to another place, so his Mom will get to see him more often. I assume he's talking about hospitals or care facilities, not prison, but who knows.

Pastor goes back to joking, is dissatisfied with their response, and says "Brother Larry, come pray and get me outta this, wouldja please?"

Brother Larry comes up, looks off to his left (I don't know what's there - hallway or window, perhaps?), says he sees his grandson coming. He starts to cry, apologizes for crying, and gets loud yells of support. He says they've been through trials, and it's good to see victory in Jesus. By this time the grandson must be in the room (we never see him, because he comes in behind the camera), and weeping grateful grandpa tells him "take your hat off while you're in church."

He prays, thanking Jesus for the good weather and the money to build the parsonage, adding "Lord, we still need $2500 more, Lord put it on somebody's heart to give that 2500."

He likes the idea of a tent being set up for outdoor preaching (they're hoping Gary will come back), so "the neighbors that refuse to come get no choice but to listen."

Pastor returns to the front, asks Gary to be his new friend because "in the ministry I don't have many," and asks Jacob if he has a girlfriend.  Gary laughs. Jacob, sounding horrified, quietly says "Kinda." Pastor informs the girls that he's "off the market," and teases the teenage guitarists about whether they have girlfriends.

To remind them that it's "all about King Jesus," he tells a story about a woman at his first pastoral job, who asked him what he was going to do for Mothers' Day, and was "offended" that they wouldn't have gifts for all the mothers. He said the church couldn't afford it, and, when she said they could afford to pay his salary, he said "Yeah, God said that the church oughta take care of the preacher. She didn't last very long at that church."

She may not have had her focus on Jesus (or the pastor's pocket), but I wonder if the real reason she didn't last is that she and her children didn't like being teased in public.

He does the "I know that I know . . . (7 times) I'm saved" bit, and Gary yells a hearty HAYMEN.

After some more blather from the pastor, they sing God Is So Good and Victory In Jesus.

The Hawkinses sing.

The pastor comes up again, and reminds them of the $2500 more needed for the parsonage and all the other reasons they need money. God keeps working during a recession.

"President Biden, if that's what you want to call him - I've got other names, but I want to be decent, and honest, and righteous, before people and on the video 'cause it's all bein' recorded, but but but I don't care who's in the White House - remember, the answer's King Jesus. You got financial trouble this morning, the first thing you're gonna say is is 'We won't eat this week if we give.'  Friend, I'm gonna tellya what - you wanna eat good? Give."

He goes on about how someone (his parents?) brought them enough food for years when he and his wife were having hard times, and all the places in the house they stored the food and how it took years to eat it all. I guess they were eating canned food for years, or else . . .

? ?

Then he goes on to tell them that, if they want to give for Brother Gary, too, they need to make sure to earmark the money for him - he checks to makes sure Gary takes hundred dollar bills, and tells them Gary has "one need" they should pray for - his truck, that needs $5000 worth of work.

Becky sings for the offering, then Preach On.

Gary gets up to preach. And this pastor is such a slimy creep that this has become a rather long post, so I'll start a new one for Gary's mishegas in Michigan.

Edited June 15, 2021 by thoughtful
clarity

[Dana723]

5 hours ago, Xan said:

OK folks -- Gary is afraid everyone is going to fall by the wayside if he doesn't chime in on Facebook pretty frequently to let us all know that we're not good enough.

It means enough to me that I'll never be good enough for Bro. Gary.

[postscript]

6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

 

To remind them that it's "all about King Jesus," he tells a story about a woman at his first pastoral job, who asked him what he was going to do for Mothers' Day, and was "offended" that they wouldn't have gifts for all the mothers. He said the church couldn't afford it, and, when she said they could afford to pay his salary, he said "Yeah, God said that the church oughta take care of the preacher. She didn't last very long at that church."

She may not have had her focus on Jesus (or the pastor's pocket), but I wonder if the real reason she didn't last is that she and her children didn't like being teased in public.

Nobody comes off well in this story - the woman comes off as greedy for demanding gifts for mothers on Mother’s Day, and the pastor comes off as selfish for wanting his cut first, parishioners be damned. The money-grubbing impression isn’t dispelled by his demands for $2500 for his parsonage and the hints that Bro Gary takes C-notes. 

Speaking of which, $5000 in truck repairs? The man can’t get into a vehicle without damaging it. Gary, there’s this concept called insurance. It would cover most of that repair bill or call the damage a total and write you a check for a new-to-you truck. You might want to look into it. 

[thoughtful]

12 hours ago, postscript said:

Nobody comes off well in this story - the woman comes off as greedy for demanding gifts for mothers on Mother’s Day, and the pastor comes off as selfish for wanting his cut first, parishioners be damned. The money-grubbing impression isn’t dispelled by his demands for $2500 for his parsonage and the hints that Bro Gary takes C-notes. 

I agree that the woman in the pastor's story sounds greedy and shallow. I have my doubts about his claim that she was offended, and implying that she didn't last long in that church because of her character flaws. He strikes me as just as unreliable a narrator as Gary.

Asking if Gary takes $100 bills was in a jovial, joking voice. I'm not sure which is worst - the fire-and-brimstone crap, or the pastor-thinks-he's-funny crap, with these guys.

Gary's on about Covid again. Gary, I am not a "so call" person of AMERICA. I am an actual, living citizen of the United States, and I intend to remain living.

Spoiler

If you would like to be used, Gary has the recipe:

Spoiler

Also, never stop annoying people. Who will do go  (oooh, can that be in the next thread title?)?

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Gary needs a place to stay and some meals:

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[AmazonGrace]

If the Lord y'all.

[Four is Enough]

33 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

If the Lord y'all.

I'm going to start using that.

"If the Lord y'all, I'm going to win the lottery!"

"If the Lord y'all, I'll get these chores done before the company gets here."

 

[Antipatriarch]

21 hours ago, thoughtful said:

And this pastor is such a slimy creep that this has become a rather long post,

Thanks @thoughtful ... man I'm glad I wasn't there. Got some serious fremdschämen (love that word) just reading the summary. What a jerk!

[Alisamer]

14 hours ago, postscript said:

Speaking of which, $5000 in truck repairs? The man can’t get into a vehicle without damaging it. Gary, there’s this concept called insurance. It would cover most of that repair bill or call the damage a total and write you a check for a new-to-you truck. You might want to look into it. 

If his truck is registered in NC, he has to have some minimum insurance on it. 

I think the best thing anyone could gift Gary and Becky is a AAA membership, as often as they have car trouble. That said, $5000? I'd just find a new (used) vehicle probably at that point. And the saddest thing is that people are going to either donate him the money, or pass off another POS vehicle to him to get him moving along. 

[Xan]

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I agree that the woman in the pastor's story sounds greedy and shallow. I have my doubts about his claim that she was offended, and implying that she didn't last long in that church because of her character flaws. He strikes me as just as unreliable a narrator as Gary.

Asking if Gary takes $100 bills was in a jovial, joking voice. I'm not sure which is worst - the fire-and-brimstone crap, or the pastor-thinks-he's-funny crap, with these guys.

Gary's on about Covid again. Gary, I am not a "so call" person of AMERICA. I am an actual, living citizen of the United States, and I intend to remain living.

  Hide contents

If you would like to be used, Gary has the recipe:

  Hide contents

Also, never stop annoying people. Who will do go  (oooh, can that be in the next thread title?)?

  Reveal hidden contents

Gary needs a place to stay and some meals:

  Hide contents

 

I guess Gary would think I'd sold out to the vaccine and masks.  He'd be right.  I have.  And it might save my life.  I continue to think that the only reason Gary hasn't gotten Covid is that he is even repulsive to viruses.

I'm a little confused on his list of ways God can use us.  "Quench not the Holy Spirit"?  And what's the difference in "be willing", "HIS will", and "be a willing vessel"?  Was he just trying to get it up to ten things?

[thoughtful]

Gary's preaching at the 6/6 service at Walker Bible Baptist Church in Lansing MI begins with his smooth segue from Becky's singing Preach On: "Ah think that's what America needs is preachin' amen?"

Gary blathers on a bit, then says "Oh mah goodness, ah'm wahd open now." I am listening without watching, and resist the urge to see if he is zipping up his fly when I realize he is talking about the microphone, which he has been puttering with.

Gary reads only one verse - unusual for the first reading in a message; usually they are the longest:

Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Medicine is pronounced "madison," of course.

Saved people should be the happiest on earth, because they're not going to Hell, unlike those who were "layin' acrost their commodes, vomickin' and pukin'."

Do these idiots never realize there are more than two choices?

Gary gets high on Jesus, and "the Holy Spirita God bein' all over me."

Gary tells them he thanks God that, since he lost 80 pounds, he doesn't take blood pressure pills. They yell Amen and other encouragements. "Mah doctor don't know it, but he'll prob'ly git over it one day when he don't make no money from me, amen."

"We take all kindsa peeyuls to keep ourself goin', but ah kin tell ya a pill that'll keep ya goin' forever, and that's Jesus."

You heard it, folks - Gary thinks Jesus is a pill.

He finally announces his theme: "With the he'p of the Lord, ahwahnna preach ohn Let's  Just Get Happy."

Lots of mutual screaming ensues. This congregation loves Gary.

"Depression is straight from the pitsa Hell - ya oughta let it go back there amen?"

Since I don't believe in Hell, I can agree with the first half of that as a poetic image, Gary, but you can go fuck yourself with thinking people can just "let it go back there."

Gary goes on to credit Jesus for all of the things he has - food, shelter, a shower this morning, etc.

Gary announces a verse, starts to read the wrong one, catches himself, and reads the correct one, somewhat incorrectly:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+10%3A20&version=KJV

When I hear Gary say "whosoever," I know we are in for some weird race-related stuff. It comes out like this:

"Ah'm so glad that He ain't just uh ohn this matter and ohn that person and ohn that uhuhuh nationality, listen hey - we was just over in uh Chicago 'n' listen hey - if you wanna fahnd out if there's every kinda nationality over there - there is."

In his usual spiel about his funeral, we get a new detail - Becky has told him, that, wherever he dies, they'll just set up the gospel tent right there for the service.

Again, Gary claims that Mrs. McFadden died with no suffering, and just found herself talking to Jesus instead of her husband. He'd like to die like that.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+97%3A11-12&version=KJV

He says they ought to have a "fevrent prayer," and they yell in agreement. Does everyone in these churches pronounce it wrong?

While looking for the next reading, he says: "Y'all gotta deal with me 'n'  mah wahf 'n'em  bought me a big Bahble 'cause ah cain't  see anah gotta have big words anah haveta tote around - 'bout lahk somethem blahnd people start takin' it in sections amen."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Peter+1%3A4&version=KJV

Saved people ought to be happy because they have an inheritance from God.

Gary's inheritance from his parents will be their debts, so he's not planning to show up for their funerals hahah. But Jesus keeps all of this promises, including coming as a virgin.

Gary does his routine about how God has provided all of his needs (even with seven children!), and slips in a complaint about the possibility of a $15/hour minimum wage and the fact that Jacob has almost outgrown the cowboy boots someone bought him. "So ah'll haveta go back'n' see if that gah'll bah him another brand new pair amen."

In the middle of some tangled bit of Becky-teasing and God-thanking for being saved and his ministry, Gary tells an outright lie. "You know what? It's been the best journey ah ever had. Twenty-two years - listen, hey - been married to mah wahf for longer'n that."

No, Gary - you haven't been married to this wife for longer than that.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+18%3A19-20&version=KJV

Old  shit about getting visits from the Holy Spirit despite being unworthy.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+9%3A6-7&version=KJV

The governors are on his shoulders, "extablish," and "For the zeal of the Lord, the zeal of the host, for the zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this."

God is still on the throne. "Settin' home list'nin' to the news" has killed our country.

Back to the virus, and how "if you coulda got the Corona, ah prob'ly shoulda got it. You think about the Indians.  Ah hung around ohn the Indian reservation for what? About two months? And somma those Indians still today do not have 'lectricity nor runnin' water. And so, whenever they talk about bein' clean? Well lemme say somethin' to ya - if you git you a pot o' water 'n' you warsh yer hands in it startin' today an' you go 'til next Sundee, that water's not clean."

Gary says "ah done mah part" in 2020, by voting for "President Donald Trump," and praying.

Telling them that Trump was the greatest president in his lifetime, and that what he got done was because Jesus loved him gets screams or agreement, and applause.

He tells them his theory that people making Trump their God, instead of God, led to God's punishing America.

And, two minutes later, he's reminding them that Joe Bahden is not the president, how bad gas prices were under Obama, and talking about other things that don't matter because Jesus and/or God are on the throne.

"Ah don't deal with the mask. One the stores ah went in yesterday said 'If you vaccined, walk on in.' Ah walked in. Ah have been vaxated, but ah just don't know what ah been vaxated with amen. Prob'ly Jesus amen."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+3%3A17&version=KJV

Gary does his routine about not being in cliques and groups.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+thessalonians+4%3A13-18&version=KJV

KJV: For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
Bro Gary Version: For if ye believe that Jesus dahd and rose again, even to so them also which are sleep Jesus will - Jesus will God. Bring wi - bring with him.

KJV: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air:
BGV: Then we which are alive and remain shall not be caught up together with them in the air - in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air:

The world is like it was in the days of Noah and Lot. "Sodomahts are comin' out lahk they've never come out before."

Jesus is on the edge of his seat, trumpet at his mouth. You better be ready. If you're not saved, today would be a good day.

He slips in the bit about the man who was squirming because he was under conviction, but refused to come up to the altar.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

6 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

In the middle of some tangled bit of Becky-teasing and God-thanking for being saved and his ministry, Gary tells an outright lie. "You know what? It's been the best journey ah ever had. Twenty-two years - listen, hey - been married to mah wahf for longer'n that."

No, Gary - you haven't been married to this wife for longer than that.

I wonder if he's half-convinced himself that he never had a first wife. Nah, probably just rationalizing it some other way.

7 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

He finally announces his theme: "With the he'p of the Lord, ahwahnna preach ohn Let's  Just Get Happy."

I clicked the link, and then had a huge desire to notify @HerNameIsBuffy that you referenced The Partridge Family.

[Alisamer]

14 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary does his routine about how God has provided all of his needs (even with seven children!), and slips in a complaint about the possibility of a $15/hour minimum wage and the fact that Jacob has almost outgrown the cowboy boots someone bought him. "So ah'll haveta go back'n' see if that gah'll bah him another brand new pair amen."

Gary ought to be thrilled with the possibility of a $15 hour minimum wage. The people he begs from aren't billionaires, and a living wage would give more of them some extra cash to throw his way. 

And the boots? Gary's the kind of person you offer to give a room to for the night and he assumes you are giving him your entire house forever. 

He's your kid, Gary. Buy his shoes yourself.

Quote

God is still on the throne. "Settin' home list'nin' to the news" has killed our country.

He tells them his theory that people making Trump their God, instead of God, led to God's punishing America.

Well, a stopped clock and all that. People are making Trump their God, and the country would be a lot better if people quit sitting home watching Faux news all the time.

Quote

The world is like it was in the days of Noah and Lot. "Sodomahts are comin' out lahk they've never come out before."

This made me giggle, and I can't even explain quite why.

[AmazonGrace]

Quote

Gary's inheritance from his parents will be their debts, so he's not planning to show up for their funerals hahah. But Jesus keeps all of this promises, including coming as a virgin.

Will Jacob show up for Gary's funeral?

[postscript]

Gary, I’m not up on inheritance laws in North Carolina, but in general, a decedent’s debts are paid from their estate. If there isn’t enough money to satisfy the debts, the creditors will take a haircut. Heirs don’t normally succeed to debts, just to assets. 

Spend your own money on your kid’s shoes, Gary. Don’t expect even the most generous of donors to pony up for something as expensive as cowboy boots twice. For someone who claims he believes in the Lord providing, Gary spends a lot of time hinting for handouts. I hope Jacob bolts the second he turns eighteen. 

 

[Jasmar]

8 hours ago, thoughtful said:

"Depression is straight from the pitsa Hell - ya oughta let it go back there amen?"

Fuck. You.

(eta: not you @thoughtful ?)

Says the former-Christian with decades-long, treatment-resistant depression

(And hey Gar, how about you take your own self back into the pitsa Hell whence you came)

Edited June 17, 2021 by Jasmar

[thoughtful]

The 6/6 evening service at Walker Bible Baptist Church in Lansing MI begins with the guitar trio again, playing The Family of God again.

Pastor Garver (aka Brother David) tells them his wife is now the "producer" of their service videos, and milks them for some applause for her, then says "she alright for a white girl, I'm tellin' ya, she's not bad at all."

He says the credits will list him as "extremely handsome pastor."

Gary moans through the prayer, and the pastor announces that Gary will be coming back next June and they will be having a camp meeting under the tent. After some salvation-blather, he reminds them that Gary, the missionary coming to visit next week, and the parsonage project all need money.

But only if God puts it on their hearts.

The teens with the guitars sing a song I couldn't find anywhere, about how they can't wait until Sunday, because church. Then all sing At Calvary, the Hawkinses sing something, but I fast forward.

Pastor reminds them of Gary's need for $5000 for his truck before the offering.

After the offering, the pastor tells them to "love on sister," meaning Becky, "livin' on the road's not easy, and she's also outnumbered in the house, so that can't make it to easy either."

Becky says "No. I miss my girls."

Gary comes up, and talks about his plans to come back. He may also see them in November, because he will be coming to Michigan for another church. He says the only thing he doesn't like about coming there in November is that "y'all could have snow," and some wag warns him "No cussin' in church!"

After his thank-yous, he announces a verse. It's very short - Proverbs 25:25: As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.

With the help of the Lord, Gary wants to preach There is Good News.

He does several minutes, of course, about how there is no good news from the TV, Facebook, radio, etc. It's from the pulpit - sometimes.

Gary mentions the three heavens - I never heard him talk about that before.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+14%3A16&version=KJV

Gary has a comforter, and he tells them about how Brother McFadden is comforted. Some vague Becky-bashing follows.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+5%3A8&version=KJV

Jesus loves Gary, and Gary can't figure out why, because he knows he doesn't deserve it.

While talking about all of things God gave him recently (that actually came from other people, of course), Gary tells us that, yesterday, God let him walk about a mile and a half from where his vehicle was broken down, and walk back with the part he needed.

Yes, the van broke down yet again.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+15%3A57&version=KJV

Gary's on the winning side. Screaming about this, back and forth, ensues.

"Joe Bahden's a loser." Gary's not talking about the election, he's talking about  not being saved.

He talks about Mrs. McFadden's great death again, and the preacher who fell over dead just after putting his money in the collection plate.

Gary reads Hebrews 13:14 - well, sort of.

KJV: For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.