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Bro Gary Hawkins 17: Naschitti


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27 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

The way I read it he wants you to separate from your modesty. That sounds right, yes?

How dare you, hussy!

He wants good Christians to be separate from the evil World (that would be - us).

As Gary says, they are to be a peculiar people.

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 I am beginning to think that all those people people complaining that museums make Southern slaveowners look like racist fucks don't have a clue that their complaints make them look like racist fucks.

Uh... how the hell is "slavery was bad" controversial?

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“But...but...not every slaveowner was cruel, and many slaves were brought to JAYZUZ!”

[obvious /s]

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9 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

The way I read it he wants you to separate from your modesty. That sounds right, yes?

Of course!!! 

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On 5/12/2021 at 8:31 PM, thoughtful said:

I can't imagine Gary dyes his beard - it just seems like something for which he wouldn't have the patience for sitting still while Becky did the work. And, while Gary is vain, it seems like the wrong kind of vanity, somehow. I could be way off.

Also, he's a ginger. Gingers don't seem to go grey nearly as early as the rest of us.

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Holly Molly!1!!!1!1!1  Brother Gary and crew are in the county next to me!!11!!1!1!1!1!11!??????????

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3 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Also, he's a ginger. Gingers don't seem to go grey nearly as early as the rest of us.

I also think the white hairs that make darker hair appear to be graying (I'm pretty sure there's actually no such thing as a naturally gray hair) just make blonde and red hair look a bit lighter, so it takes a longer time, and a big swath to turn white, rather than white hairs scattered throughout, to see it.

It's Sunday! HE pay the debt.

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I didn't know there would be a quiz!

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Video from Cornerstone Baptist Church in Erlanger, KY starts at the beginning of Gary's preaching.

He is telling them all about himself, and his evangelism, burden for America, and how he could complain about lots of bad things that have happened, but he won't because God is good all the time. We need young people in church, he doesn't believe in women preachers but, if his wife was allowed to preach, he'd be done, because she'd be so much better than he is, etc.

This crowd seems to love him, laughing at his semi-jokes and amenning. The sound system is very echo-y - it sounds like he's preaching in a huge crypt.

"1 Corinthians 15 and Becky bring me some of that water please."

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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+15%3A1-11&version=KJV

Lots of errors, but none worth writing down.

Paul thought church was essential, and that Jesus rose from the dead. Gary does his life insurance/tombstone bit.

His title is What is the Church Doing for the Cause of Christ?

Next comes the "ah'm not makin' light of the vahris" riff, and other familiar Garyshit. Anything new or especially offensive is below, but it looks like this is going to be well-trodden ground.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+6%3A14&version=KJV

"Now here it is - Jesus - God - told, uh, Noah, said 'Listen, hey, it's fixin' to rain.' They'd never seen rain before."

It's Jacob's birthday tomorrow, and Gary's going to "take him to the ark." I assume he means the Ark Encounter.

Gary says everyone needs a "place of safety" like the Ark, including the people of this town, which he complains he can't pronounce. Someone helps him, saying "Erlanger."

Jesus is the only place of safety. "Place of safety" is a new phrase, and that's not a coincidence - Gary heard it from a preacher on the radio this morning.

Dope will not help you, even though states are legalizing it. He tells the story about a preacher taking tracts to the weed store, but today he calls it "the pot house," and, during his disclaimer about not knowing the "high-dollar words," Becky calls out "a dispenser-area."

He makes sure to mention, about the preacher's son who went in to the dispensary, that "when he come out, he smelled worse than he did when he went in. That's not good stuff. Ah - we was at a motel here the other day ahmanna tell ya raht now ah gotta be careful, uh, when we go to these uh, git onlahn 'n' git these cheap motels ahmanna tell ya ah might as well git started spendin' money - ah was 'bout as high as they was 'fore ah left that place."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+17%3A8-16&version=KJV

After complaining about the uncooperative pages of the new Bible again: "doesn't work too good" (aren't you glad you gave your husband this lovely gift, Becky?), Gary misreads most of that. Nothing terribly funny, but a lot that is just a mess. For example:

KJV:  she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.
Bro Gary Version:  she shall be a mother of nations; and of mah people shall be  . . .  kings of mah people shall be of her.

After this long reading, Gary says "Ahwanna say another thing, here it is, the wisdom of the Lord Jesus Christ. Now you see the scriptures here 'n' - ah'm not sure ah'm in the raht place."

Yes, all of that was the wrong reading. Gary mumbles something, and says "It's all good, amen?" He then says something about Sarah laughing when told she would have a child. Did you mean to read verse 17, Gary? Oh, and it was Abraham who laughed.

And somehow, that gets him into his schtick blaming the "mess" in our politics on people not praying.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+3%3A14-15&version=KJV

This is followed by Gary's bit about how he became a messenger for God despite hating public speaking, and how it's all about Jesus, not Gary.

He talks about a church in Canada that "they" closed and padlocked. This one, I assume. "It's comin' for America."

Gary tells his stories about breaking laws and Covid rules all over the country, saying he probably won't finish his message, "but it'll be alraht."

"Ah was out in New Mexico, and we was out, if you know anything about the Indian reservations, that they're a whole lot stricter than anything that's been done with any Democrat  _____ (I think it was "stunts," but am not sure)."

And he boasts about how he preached so bravely to the president of the Navajo nation (who, he now claims, had just told them they were only opening up to 25% - I don't remember that, but don't feel like finding the video and checking), that, if he was so worried about people dying from Covid, they need to tell them about Christ before it got "aholt of 'em."

Gary brags about his tract-littering.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=job+1%3A20&version=KJV

Gary enjoys his Job-obsession for a while, with his "frenemies," etc.

He tells the story of people in one church spending time and money to repair his old truck, which still broke down again shortly after, and the people from another church borrowing money from the bank to buy him another truck. Of course, that was all God.

Last days, we're soon gettin' out, be sure you're saved, etc.

Edited by thoughtful
punctuation
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6 hours ago, smittykins said:

“But...but...not every slaveowner was cruel, and many slaves were brought to JAYZUZ!”

[obvious /s]

I often wonder how these people feel about their employers, landlords, etc and whether they then have the empathy and imagination to translate that into wondering how they would feel if they were enslaved. Unfortunately I doubt it even occurs to a lot of them to try. 

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

And he boasts about how he preached so bravely to the president of the Navajo nation (who, he now claims, had just told them they were only opening up to 25% - I don't remember that, but don't feel like finding the video and checking), that, if he was so worried about people dying from Covid, they need to tell them about Christ before it got "aholt of 'em."

Pics or it didn't happen Gary. I feel sorry for the Navajo President - middle of a pandemic and he still has to deal with external idiots like Gary, as well as internal politics (and, undoubtedly, idiots).

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17 hours ago, thoughtful said:

How dare you, hussy!

He wants good Christians to be separate from the evil World (that would be - us).

As Gary says, they are to be a peculiar people.

Are they a Royal Peculiar or an Old Peculier?

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1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

I often wonder how these people feel about their employers, landlords, etc and whether they then have the empathy and imagination to translate that into wondering how they would feel if they were enslaved. Unfortunately I doubt it even occurs to a lot of them to try. 

Yes, I imagine most of them are the types to resent authority figures in their own lives - look how they are about the government, after all - but never connect that to understanding how slaves were ripped from their homes, owned, beaten, raped, and worked to death.

Also, even if they might relate it to how they would feel, that doesn't mean they'd think Black people deserved (or still deserve) any consideration. I really think a lot of these vile people think of non-white people as not fully human.

Video from the later service at Cornerstone Baptist Church in Erlanger, KY starts with all singing Victory in Jesus, then The Lily of the Valley. Gary whistles along with the introductions.

The echo is so bad that it is hard to hear what the pastor is saying, but they have someone come up and mark the newest level of the building fund. This church looks gorgeous to me, compared to the storefront ones Gary often visits, so I don't know what they are building.

They sing There is a Fountain Filled With Blood, then Whistling Gary comes to the front.

He jokes that he doesn't know whether it's "a punishment or not - take a man out to eat, then make him preach."

After some of the usual "soon gettin' outta here" stuff and telling them about their prayer cards, Gary expresses some doubt about what his first reading is - he thinks it's Matthew 15 . . . no, 18.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18%3A14-20&version=KJV

KJV: let him be unto thee as an heathen man.
Bro Gary Version:  let him be unto thee as an heether man.

And lots of other errors, of course, although this reading is not as bad as Gary's usual.

Gary wants to "preach ohn" Having the Lord Jesus Christ in the Midst.

An oldie - let's see if there are any new flourishes.

Gary launches into his routine condemning divorce because Jesus isn't in the midst of families, and praising/mocking Becky.

Then on to gender and sexuality. The schools will encourage little girls to decide whether they'd rather be little boys.

"Ah was in a woman's body one tahm, and nine months later, ah come out of it AMEN! Ah ah listen, there is no - nothin' in mah body whatsoever, any feminine in me whatsoever. Ah said somethin' the other day mah boy said 'You sound lahk a sodomaht' I lahked to kick him between the ahballs amen."

Gary, secure men don't want to kick their sons between the eyeballs for any reason.

And, yeah, I'm sad but not surprised that Jacob uses language like that to describe his fellow human beings.

"The Bahble said 'God made man and woman' and uh, the uh Democrats made the rest of what we got goin' on amen."

"God says to us to multiplah and replinish the earth. Well, ah think we've done our part - we got seven of 'em amen."

He talks about kids who were raised in church but who have stopped going. "Ya think about this - ah got a - ah got a daughter, listen hey, her thing was, that she got around one of the great m-  one of the families, out there in Mississippi somewhere  or whatever, and she got around them she said 'Hey!' They was goin' to the prisons and she said 'Ah wanna be a missionary to the prisons. Women's prisons. Y'know what, today she's not even goin' to church."

Gary says he was told, back in February or March, in New Mexico, by a preacher, that "they're makin' this big emblen up there to put on our church, an' if the churches and the businesses will not put that emblen up an' ah don't know what all that's got to do with the part, but it said if ya don't put it ohn yer door or put it somewhere ohn the buildin', you'll be closed down."

Citation needed, Gary.

He starts talking about the oh-so-witty Facebook messages he's been posting about shortages, "Ever since they came up with this shortage a gas - ah still ain't fell for it."

Gary, did you think the concern about a shortage of gas was a liberal trick? It was people like you who got all bent out of shape.

He yells about churches that just entertain (smokestacks, 7-11 songs, etc.) for a while, the old songs being better, being suspicious of the Independent Fundamentalist title and the preacher who said he was so independent he didn't even  need God.

Gary tells them he gave up cursing when he got saved. Well, yeah, but he still says "ah don't give a flip" and I've caught on that, when Gary says "praise God," it's in place of "Damn/fuck him/her/them," and "Hallelujah" is pretty much his "Oh, shit."

So, Gary, you use substitute curse words to be just as unpleasant, and generally more so, as anyone who curses. Not to mention saying you want to kick your child between the eyeballs. I'll take a hearty "motherfucker!" when someone stubs their toe over that, any day!

He does some familiar rants - country's in a mess because of not enough Jesus, towns after towns after towns with no bible-believing church, Gary only does Facebook services for people who have no church, the unpronounceable book of martyrs with people "burnt to the stakes," the electric chair, the police officer who pulled him over for speeding but let him go and got a tract.

He winds down with some sentence fragments about Jesus, and how we need Him in these last days we're livin' in.

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Checking out another of Gary's commenters. Johnny, it might behoove you to read more books.

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Really, Johnny - read something.

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Is it me? I don't see it. Wait - did he just mean the number of people who had reacted when this screenshot was taken? :roll:

And here I was, staring at the floor tiles trying to figure out wtf he is on about.

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And the Lord said "Update your technology, dude."

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Um, what does he think it's made from?

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Edited by thoughtful
fixing spoiler
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1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Gary, did you think the concern about a shortage of gas was a liberal trick? It was people like you who got all bent out of shape.

Gotta say if it was a liberal trick it showed just how gullible they are.

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Gary says he was told, back in February or March, in New Mexico, by a preacher, that "they're makin' this big emblen up there to put on our church, an' if the churches and the businesses will not put that emblen up an' ah don't know what all that's got to do with the part, but it said if ya don't put it ohn yer door or put it somewhere ohn the buildin', you'll be closed down."

Is it wrong that I hope it's a QR code for contact tracing? I know Gary thinks it is the Mark, but sheesh, that mob think everything is the Mark and have done for the last 100 years.

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Yes, I imagine most of them are the types to resent authority figures in their own lives - look how they are about the government, after all - but never connect that to understanding how slaves were ripped from their homes, owned, beaten, raped, and worked to death.

Also, even if they might relate it to how they would feel, that doesn't mean they'd think Black people deserved (or still deserve) any consideration. I really think a lot of these vile people think of non-white people as not fully human.

I agree, unfortunately. And I honestly don't know how you start rolling that back.

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On 5/13/2021 at 8:05 PM, Black Aliss said:

All the old women (they were probably younger than I am now, but they seemed old to me) in my church of origin prayed at ever service for the Lord to call them home, one way or another. And, then, when  the Lord did come knocking, they fought him tooth and nail.

Just up the road from me is one of those little cinderblock churches that seem popular with the various Baptist sects. This one used to be VF, but I don't know how they identify now. For a couple of months now their sign board has advised us "Choose the bread of life or you are toast!", which has only confirmed my fantasy that if GHaw or the Rodriguii ever made it out this way (please, Bast, no) that's the church they'd end up at. I'm not sure if the ratty singlewide next to the church is the parsonage or the prophet's chamber. I can't imagine Gary being satisfied with those accommodations. Although there is room on the site for his big top tent. Rest assured, if either of these clowns show up there, I will be taking one for the tea.

 

Bro Gary being in Louisville and Erlanger is entirely too close to our humble heathen abode.

Edited by sixcatatty
another thought
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I think this is Gary.

Screenshot_20210517-183401__01.thumb.jpg.934e3c32ac84df384070ddd4bfbfa3c0.jpg

He's going to be very disappointed if he sees everyone there. 

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On 5/14/2021 at 6:27 PM, Xan said:

What?  Has there been a run on the Godly thousand island?  Is Ranch in short supply?  I'm telling you, people, if there's a shortage of Newman's Own Classic Oil and Vinegar, some heads are gonna roll.

Is this about Chik-Fil-A's sauce shortage? I bet that's it. 

On 5/16/2021 at 4:57 AM, AmazonGrace said:

 I am beginning to think that all those people people complaining that museums make Southern slaveowners look like racist fucks don't have a clue that their complaints make them look like racist fucks.

Uh... how the hell is "slavery was bad" controversial?

I haven't been to that particular museum, but I suspect that it doesn't even do much to call out the racism of Southern slaveowners. Most places I've seen are trying to include more of the history and stories of the enslaved people who lived and worked (and died) there, pointing out how harsh and difficult their lives were and despite that how they developed their own thriving culture that is influential to this day. (I'm thinking particularly of Brookgreen Gardens here, which is built on the site of 2 or 3 former plantations.) But I don't think I've seen one that was out-and-out "these racist rich people were racists".

15 hours ago, Seahorse Wrangler said:

Are they a Royal Peculiar or an Old Peculier?

Gary's a Touched-In-The-Head Peculiar.

12 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Gotta say if it was a liberal trick it showed just how gullible they are.

Is it wrong that I hope it's a QR code for contact tracing? I know Gary thinks it is the Mark, but sheesh, that mob think everything is the Mark and have done for the last 100 years.

This whole OMG GAS SHORTAGE thing was hella annoying. Morons were filling up garbage bags and stuff. Like how are you going to get the gas back out? And why do you need 60 gallons of it to last you a week until things settle out? I had to put gas in the car in the middle of it - because my gas gauge was sitting on E and I had to get to work the next day. Luckily found a place with gas (most were out) and a shortish wait. I filled up my tank and guess what? It's still 3/4 full and there are no more lines at the gas pumps. And even then the price wasn't crazy high, still far less than it costs in most of the world.

I'm amazed I've only heard of one moron blowing up his vehicle transporting mass amounts of gasoline in unapproved containers. I was sure we'd have a few Darwin Award winners coming out of this "crisis". 

Also, that "mark" they keep wondering about? I think it comes in the form of a red baseball cap with white lettering on the front.

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Yesterday afternoon, here in Colorado, I waited longer in line to get gas at a Costco than I had ever waited before. It must have been ten minutes or so. (I've waited longer at California Costco gas stations when there wasn't a pipeline problem.) 

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This made me picture the little cartoon character from Hyperbole and a Half, yelling "Do all the things for the LORD!"

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I found the In Times Like These page again, so I'd be ready to listen in case Gary didn't also put it on his page, and puttered around a bit.

Maybe I'm too much of a worrywart, but this strikes me as a dangerous way to teach this lesson, since the rock was making them stagger. Have a little choking hazard with your faith, girls:

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This took me a while, but I think the words "is nothing" are missing after the third word:

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Edited by thoughtful
fixing backsliding, reptobate spoiler
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23 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

He's going to be very disappointed if he sees everyone there. 

But, but, but - he goes on and on about how he doesn't want anyone to go to Hell, and he wants to be in Heaven with everyone in his family, and everyone he preaches to.

Are you saying he may not be sincere? Horrors! /s

Gary has a deadline to get somewhere specific. Except that he's preaching to an all-Facebook audience tonight. :confusion-shrug:

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And he clearly knows he can do a Facebook live from anywhere, because he did one while driving! Here's what we see as it starts:

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Hat, with metal conchos, on dashboard - check.

About to pass huge truck on right - check.

Driving at highway speeds - check.

Phone not set to film Gary, so he needs to fuss with it while driving - check.

OK - all of Gary's safety measures are in place - time to do a video! :shock:

He sings along with I'm Not Ashamed:

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Then he starts scream-preaching over the song. He and the CD are both very, very loud. OK, Gary, you are not ashamed of Jesus - how about feeling some responsibility for driving like an adult?

At some point in his screaming, the multi-tasking distracts him enough that he says "Ah want the world to know there's a Heaven to gai - uh, shun -" (a beat of silence, then suddenly less enthused - I think he knows he misspoke, but not quite how)  "and a Heaven to gain amen."

After five minutes of this, he tells us about seeing the ark (it's not the actual ark, Gary) yesterday.  Gary "got to wonderin' how many people on that Ark? Prob'ly 'bout what, prob'ly 'bout 300 people prob'ly, walkin' ohn that ark. Ah mean if he had all the animals 'n' Noah an' his wife an' his sons and his daughter in lauws, ah b'lieve we kin handle 300 people on that ark. Amen."

Gary, are you counting the animals as people? Are you comparing the Ark Encounter museum capacity to how you picture the original ark? What goes on in that tiny mind of yours?

And he goes on to yell about people who don't come to church, aren't saved, etc. He's soon back up to screaming, left arm waving and pounding, eyes almost never on the road, again:

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He putters with the CD player to find another track, mostly looking down at it or the camera, left hand still mostly off of the wheel.

Among the things he screams about Jesus/God: "He takes care of me - He lets me git from place to place to place to place!"

There goes another irony meter.

And it seems he still didn't find the song he wanted, so he fusses with the CD player again, finds it (I'm Glad I Got Lost), and screams along.

Suddenly, we see:

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Gary reaches down to pick up the fallen phone, says "Thank God for good magnets, amen," and puts it back in place. He laughs and gestures some more with his left hand as he resumes screaming.

At least the GPS wasn't also yelling this time, and it looks like Gary managed not to get them all killed.

I guess that's because Jesus (or possibly God) is looking after them.

Because it certainly isn't due to Gary's driving.

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kuva.png.dbd3ee79fa9a9143f43e1a87a072aa85.png

Well yes, usually, if you ask people what's it like for them to walk, they're going to think you want them to talk  about walking.

If you want to hear how sweet the candy was you ask them what the candy was like. Otherwise they're going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are already aware that the candy you bought them is sweet. Because most candy is.

This has been Conversations for Beginners, with AmazonGrace. Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk.

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Quote

After five minutes of this, he tells us about seeing the ark (it's not the actual ark, Gary) yesterday.  Gary "got to wonderin' how many people on that Ark? Prob'ly 'bout what, prob'ly 'bout 300 people prob'ly, walkin' ohn that ark. Ah mean if he had all the animals 'n' Noah an' his wife an' his sons and his daughter in lauws, ah b'lieve we kin handle 300 people on that ark. Amen."

Gary, I am disappointed in you. Haven't you read the KJB?
 

Quote

 

12 And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.

13 In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

14 They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.

 

We know math is hard but you have enough fingers for this.

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4 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

kuva.png.dbd3ee79fa9a9143f43e1a87a072aa85.png

Well yes, usually, if you ask people what's it like for them to walk, they're going to think you want them to talk  about walking.

If you want to hear how sweet the candy was you ask them what the candy was like. Otherwise they're going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are already aware that the candy you bought them is sweet. Because most candy is.

This has been Conversations for Beginners, with AmazonGrace. Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk.

This whole example really irritated me for ways I couldn't quite put my finger on, but yes - of course they're focusing on the discomfort of walking, that's what you asked about. 

Also way to start blisters, good job *slow clap*

It also annoys me because the lollipops have literally nothing to do with the walking - effectively the message becomes "no matter how shit things are you should be grateful because God blesses you". That's not actually helpful, God is doing bugger all about the rock in their shoes.

The whole thing could have been done with a sheet of paper and by asking them five things they were worried about, and five things they were grateful for, show them how to reframe how they are feeling and/or give them solutions to/help with the things they are dealing with, and they still could have had the lollipops. 

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Yes and  the rock in their shoes was the divergent element... Sweets are sweet, this is not extraordinary. Most kids have eaten sweet things before and aren't in awe. But it's not every day that somebody tells them to put rocks in  their shoes intentionally and keep them there while walking instead of removing them once you notice the discomfort. 

 So they learn adults may cause them pain purposefully yet you have to smile and never complain because candy. (That's Grooming 101...)  

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On 5/16/2021 at 10:31 PM, thoughtful said:

And the Lord said "Update your technology, dude."

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Um, what does he think it's made from?

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"We had a time together" - yeah, I didn't read that they way he intended. I won't even blame it on middle school me, I own up to my thoughts, good, bad, sexual, etc. :D

- He prayed and God told him not to take it... hmm gee that sounds a lot like his preconceived notion of the vaccine made his mind tell him not to take it. and "Biden juice" seriously. :pb_rollseyes: Any bets that Johnny preaches about modesty and here is making an innuendo about the President. 

On 5/14/2021 at 6:44 PM, thoughtful said:

There's no shortage - Gary's just looking for a male, Christian God again. I see Godly dressing all over the place!

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:laughing-jumpingpurple:  I hadn't even noticed that. Thank you for catching it!

 

OH I forgot about green goddess. I need to pick some up. Thank you! 

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28 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

"We had a time together" - yeah, I didn't read that they way he intended. I won't even blame it on middle school me, I own up to my thoughts, good, bad, sexual, etc. :D

- He prayed and God told him not to take it... hmm gee that sounds a lot like his preconceived notion of the vaccine made his mind tell him not to take it. and "Biden juice" seriously. :pb_rollseyes: Any bets that Johnny preaches about modesty and here is making an innuendo about the President. 

OH I forgot about green goddess. I need to pick some up. Thank you! 

I’m glad I’m not the only one whose mind went to a naughty place when he said he and God “had a time together.” 

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20 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Gary, I am disappointed in you. Haven't you read the KJB?

I get the impression Gary has difficulty with reading. No problem with that, except he's chosen a "profession" based entirely on reading one very long, very difficult, contradictory in many places, written in an obsolete version of English, book. He's "read" it, but I think that might just mean he's looked at each word one after the other.

One of you pointed out a while ago that some of his misreadings are actually close to other translations, and I think that's correct. I think he does a huge percentage of his verse-reading by memory, probably from hearing it repeatedly in childhood. 

Hey Becky, get him a copy of the King James as an audio book! It'll help!

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