Erin & Chad 7: Reckless Behavior in a Pandemic Has Consequences

[Jackie3]

2 hours ago, neurogirl said:

I get the sense there's some disappointment from more than just Carson. But this is just my speculation!

Oh my goodness, yes.

She adores her son and believes he is somehow deprived because he does not have a brother.

This surprise baby came along and part of her really believed it was God granting her a miracle. If God was going to give her a miracle, well, naturally he would do it thoroughly and give her the boy she needed for Carson.

God did not deliver, but Erin was so invested in this narrative that it took a while for her to believe it. She tested twice, and seemed to have a hard time accepting that she didn't get quite the miracle she wanted. If this was all about God granting Carson's super adorable prayer, why wasn't it a boy? Doesn't God see how cute Carson is? 

She had to do some mental gymnastics to explain to Carson why his prayer wasn't answered. "Maybe this new baby will have a special bond with you. . ." Sure, Erin. Because you want everything to make sense. So you teach your children that everything makes sense. Good luck with that.

It's easy to tell whether a fundie wants a boy or a girl, because they always guess the gender they want. In other words, if they say "I really feel it is going to be a boy," that means they want a boy. Erin validated my theory, because she "thought it was a boy" before she tested (according to the video)

22 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

In addition, her names don't match her country aesthetic.

Is this a joke? Do people really name their kid to match their decor? What happens when they re-decorate, do they rename their kids to match their new aesthetic? 

[AussieKrissy]

11 hours ago, JDuggs said:

Claire Spivey Duggar has a brother named Taylor and a sister named Carson, two names that I associate in general with the other sex.

Taylor here in oz is about 50/50 with young adults under 30.  I think since Taylor swift has pushed it more girl now though.  I never get son names for girls. For me it means son of… 

[just_ordinary]

I will be brunt: I think Erin’s naming pattern is horrible. But obviously that’s subjective.
 

I don’t think it’s weird when nicknames are completely different than the real name though. To me a shortened version used for whatever reason isn’t necessary a nickname. It’s just the short version and will get used a lot. Additionally a nickname here can be completely unrelated and is often developed out of actions of said person or certain experiences. People sometimes carry several nicknames. Parents and family members nicknaming a child Peanut because it looked like a peanut on every ultrasound. Friends calling the same child only “Gymmi” because it is super into gymnastics. If you have someone with a PhD around people often just talk about “the Doctor” or “Doktor name/profession”. In my parents generation (born late 50s to 60s, so teenagers in the 70s) it was hip to use weird nicknames excessively between friends- and they stuck till today. There is the moth, the woodworm (he works with wood), the joker….. very important the THE is part of the nickname somehow. 
Nicknames are like a second name but people are always aware of the real name and use them interchangeable or depending on situations.

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Fundies will give girls more traditionally masculine names but they would never give a boy a traditionally feminine name. That’s because it’s good to be male and bad to be female. Giving a girl a masculine name makes her better. Giving a male a feminine name makes him less. It’s the nature of patriarchy. 

I think that’s very much the reality in the not-Fundie world as well. 

I do agree about the naming preferences regarding age and traditional names. I would also add that people having their children later often are higher educated, have at least one university degree and have established themselves in the professional world. Please note that some countries work differently, so even if you only need the minimum of required time you will be at least 25 to have completed a Master and join the professional world (27 is more likely though with lots of people taking a gap year, or doing social work for a year, going abroad and doing one or two semesters in a different country or longer internships). Being in your early thirties to get pregnant is very much the norm with that group. So there is also a massive element of classism involved. Separating yourself from the 16 and pregnant crowd, a certain habitus, being exposed to different names and naming inspirations, being used to different names….

[WiseGirl]

13 hours ago, Johannah said:

Also, Harbor

Time for one if us to go to bed. I just read this as Hasbro (as in the toy company). I thought you all were pulling my leg about Harbor...

Avonlea reminds me of both the Mists of Avalon or Anne of Green Gables.

[Jackie3]

10 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I will be brunt: I think Erin’s naming pattern is horrible. But obviously that’s subjective.

I think Chad goes through the list and choses the name that the least weird. Finley, while unconventional, is not nearly as different as Harbor or Scotland. I'll bet if "Julia" or "Katie" had been on the list, he would have zoomed past "Finley" and choses one of those more conventional choices.

By "conventional", of course I mean, "conventional in their world or in much of the US."

I think she is being very narcissistic. Little fetus Finley will be a 30-year old woman one day. Maybe she won't appreciate spelling her name for people several times a day ("No, it's L - E- Y"). However, its better than the blank looks she would have gotten if she said, "Hello, I am Harbor Paine."

Edited October 23, 2021 by Jackie3

[Johannah]

23 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

I think Chad goes through the list and choses the name that the least weird. Finley, while unconventional, is not nearly as different as Harbor or Scotland. I'll bet if "Julia" or "Katie" had been on the list, he would have zoomed past "Finley" and choses one of those more conventional choices.

By "conventional", of course I mean, "conventional in their world or in much of the US."

I think she is being very narcissistic. Little fetus Finley will be a 30-year old woman one day. Maybe she won't appreciate spelling her name for people several times a day ("No, it's L - E- Y"). However, its better than the blank looks she would have gotten if she said, "Hello, I am Harbor Paine."

Finley is not an obscure name. It was ranked #201 most popular name for girls in 2020, and is on a rapid upward climb. That’s more popular than Hope, Vanessa, Noelle, Elise, and Amy. And as popular as Sasha, Heidi, Robin, Destiny, and Madison were in 1990. In 30 years Finley will be a pretty common young mom name. 

[artdecades]

1 hour ago, Jackie3 said:

 

I think she is being very narcissistic. Little fetus Finley will be a 30-year old woman one day. Maybe she won't appreciate spelling her name for people several times a day ("No, it's L - E- Y"). However, its better than the blank looks she would have gotten if she said, "Hello, I am Harbor Paine."

I don’t really get this logic. When Finley is 30 her peers are going to be Rylees and Jaxons and Brinlees and all sorts of names that fit right in with Finley. 

[CanadianMamam]

3 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

I think Chad goes through the list and choses the name that the least weird. Finley, while unconventional, is not nearly as different as Harbor or Scotland. I'll bet if "Julia" or "Katie" had been on the list, he would have zoomed past "Finley" and choses one of those more conventional choices.

By "conventional", of course I mean, "conventional in their world or in much of the US."

I think she is being very narcissistic. Little fetus Finley will be a 30-year old woman one day. Maybe she won't appreciate spelling her name for people several times a day ("No, it's L - E- Y"). However, its better than the blank looks she would have gotten if she said, "Hello, I am Harbor Paine."

I have 3 school aged children and I go through the class lists every year. Findley is not weird. And even Harbour is not as weird as some of these names. At least Erin's kids don't have super creative spellings (if thet are 4 Kaydens in a class, they don't all have to be spelled differently)

Edited October 23, 2021 by CanadianMamam

[Jackie3]

3 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I have 3 school aged children and I go through the class lists every year. Findley is not weird. And even Harbour is not as weird as some of these names. At least Erin's kids don't have super creative spellings (if thet are 4 Kaydens in a class, they don't all have to be spelled differently)

Perhaps it depends where you live. I have children, too, and I don't know any Finleys (She spelled it without a "d." "Findley" would be even stranger). I certainly have never met a Harbour, Avonlea or Scotland.

The Anne of Green Gables books are very popular here, and I think people would look at you funny if you named your kid Avonlea.

In the US, we spell it "Harbor" not "Harbour" so absolutely no one in Tennessee would spell that name correctly, unless they were from the UK. I don't think many people would even recognize it as a name. 

I think Erin's goal is to have a name no one else has thought of. That way, everyone can exclaim, "That's such a cool name!" or "Where did you get the idea of that name?" More attention, yay! Much more attention than if they'd picked "Julia" or "Amy."

I've never gone through my kids' class lists, just looking at the names. Never thought to do that.  If I did, I doubt I'd find a Harbour, Avonlea or Scotland among them. Perhaps a Finley, perhaps not (certainly not a Findley!)

Edited October 23, 2021 by Jackie3

[Jackie3]

5 hours ago, artdecades said:

I don’t really get this logic. When Finley is 30 her peers are going to be Rylees and Jaxons and Brinlees and all sorts of names that fit right in with Finley. 

Rylee and Jaxon fit with Finley? I don't understand how or why they fit together.

6 hours ago, Johannah said:

Finley is not an obscure name. It was ranked #201 most popular name for girls in 2020, and is on a rapid upward climb. That’s more popular than Hope, Vanessa, Noelle, Elise, and Amy. And as popular as Sasha, Heidi, Robin, Destiny, and Madison were in 1990. In 30 years Finley will be a pretty common young mom name. 

Yes, that's why Chad chose it, IMO! He picked the most conventional sounding name. 

[browngrl]

Question: is there some sort of "break" between Erin and her sisters? I have not seen Erin in any of the Bates clothing store posts recently and I did not see her in any of her sister Katie's shower pictures (that was held this weekend). I also did not see Michaela at the shower and I'm not sure if that means anything either. I don't follow these people closely so I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill but it seemed curious so here I am asking what is really going on.

[CanadianMamam]

5 minutes ago, browngrl said:

Question: is there some sort of "break" between Erin and her sisters? I have not seen Erin in any of the Bates clothing store posts recently and I did not see her in any of her sister Katie's shower pictures (that was held this weekend). I also did not see Michaela at the shower and I'm not sure if that means anything either. I don't follow these people closely so I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill but it seemed curious so here I am asking what is really going on.

There seems to be. At least between Erin and Carlin. 

Though Katie did have another shower in Tennessee a few weeks ago, this one was held by the Clarks. But Erin skipped that shower as well, although Michael and Tori were there but not in NJ. I think only the sisters in the wedding party made the trek to New Jersey (and the littles) 

 

[GreenBeans]

8 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

However, its better than the blank looks she would have gotten if she said, "Hello, I am Harbor Paine."

I just read that as “Labor Paine”. 😂

Edited October 24, 2021 by GreenBeans
Fixed quote

[rebeccawriter01]

43 minutes ago, browngrl said:

Question: is there some sort of "break" between Erin and her sisters? I have not seen Erin in any of the Bates clothing store posts recently and I did not see her in any of her sister Katie's shower pictures (that was held this weekend). I also did not see Michaela at the shower and I'm not sure if that means anything either. I don't follow these people closely so I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill but it seemed curious so here I am asking what is really going on.

There is some evidence that something has gone down between Erin and Carlin (maybe Whitney too?). 

1. Erin made some posts about not advertising things on social media. This seemed directed at Carlin, according to some people. 

2. UP released a statement about the start of the new season in February and worded it that Carlin and Whitney are expanding the business. No mention of Erin. 

3. Erin (and others) did not attend Nathan and Esther's shower. While it is understandable to miss siblings' events - especially in a family that big - Erin has always been big on not missing things. 

4. When Carlin announced she was pregnant (like a week after Erin announced she was pregnant), she did this whole thing about who she was going to call and who she would group text. She called Whitney because she is her "business partner." No mention of Erin was made. 

5. Erin has not been seen modeling or in any of the behind the scenes stuff at the boutique. 

6. Erin did not camp out at the hospital for Whitney giving birth to Jaydon even though she is usually first in line to do these things. It was Carlin and Kelly Jo who waited in the parking deck. 

7. People have noted the Carlin and Erin don't seem to be commenting on each other's social media - though that is a bit weak since we know the family has a group text so there is no reason they have to do both. 

8. Erin and Chad went to a marriage retreat she said she really wanted to attend rather than go to Katie's Tennessee shower. They left the kids with Michaela who did show up to the shower at some point. 

9. There was a surprise party for Whitney/a party to meet Lawson's girlfriend's family. Erin skipped this and then had Lawson, Tiffany, and her parents over to her house later. 

We know that Erin was very sick with COVID - twice and continues to struggle. Then she has had her issues that required the removal of 1 and 2/3 of her ovaries. Now she's pregnant and has been known to have some issues with morning sickness, etc. So some speculate health reasons for her distance from the boutique. However, she has been traveling (we know she went to the marriage retreat, a visit to Papa Bill and Mama Jane's with her kids, Chad, and Tori's family. She and Chad have started a new business. So the whole taking a step back because of health seems not quite genuine. Who knows. I doubt we'll ever hear the full story because they like to brand themselves as being so close and all friends.   

[SassyPants]

Just listening to the activities these folks have  participated in, in the last 5 days, exhausts me. I feel sorry for KJ. The pace has to be really hard-

[rwmw]

Just listening to the activities these folks have  participated in, in the last 5 days, exhausts me. I feel sorry for KJ. The pace has to be really hard-

no one forced her to have 19 children

[JermajestyDuggar]

If Erin had gone with Harbor, people who don’t know them would constantly mistake her name for Harper. Because no one is named Harbor. But Harper is fairly common. 

[Dandruff]

On 10/22/2021 at 11:03 PM, neurogirl said:

From the video, Erin said they really really thought this new baby would be a boy. They did the early blood test and didn't believe it, and didn't believe it for a while. She seems pretty baffled at the possibility of 4 girls in a row, even though Alyssa did it too! I think they named the baby Finley assuming it would be a boy. And now that's how they think of the baby, even though they are having a daughter! They gave the "God chooses our family so boy or girl, this was the perfect addition" and did a good job with it but they way they talked about their disbelief I get the sense there's some disappointment from more than just Carson. But this is just my speculation!

If the baby had been a boy I have no doubt they'd be crowing about how much they wanted one.

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 hours ago, Dandruff said:

If the baby had been a boy I have no doubt they'd be crowing about how much they wanted one.

This is how many fundies convince themselves of god and don’t question anything. When they get what they want, god listened to their prayers and rewarded them for their faithfulness. And when it doesn’t go their way, it’s in gods unknown plan. It keeps Fundies from questioning anything. 

[FaithAndReason]

16 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Just listening to the activities these folks have  participated in, in the last 5 days, exhausts me. I feel sorry for KJ. The pace has to be really hard-

Let's remember that these people have a "work is optional" lifestyle. If I chose the days I worked and could make up my own schedule, I'd be more likely to participate in more activities. 

[SassyPants]

24 minutes ago, FaithAndReason said:

Let's remember that these people have a "work is optional" lifestyle. If I chose the days I worked and could make up my own schedule, I'd be more likely to participate in more activities. 

Very true-

[Satan'sFortress]

On 10/21/2021 at 5:28 AM, CarrotCake said:

I am pregnant with my first but there are so many people pregnant around me that I already feel like my baby is not interesting to anyone except for me and my husband.

 

Congrats!  Can we call him CarrotCupcake?

 

Edited October 24, 2021 by Satan'sFortress
removed pic

[fluffernutter]

Wait did Erin and her husband go to her brother's wedding?

[Jrodseyeliner]

Did Erin and Chad go to the wedding? I don’t think I saw her in any pictures? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, Jrodseyeliner said:

Did Erin and Chad go to the wedding? I don’t think I saw her in any pictures? 

Yes, they posted some pictures. They were there. And I believe Carson and Brook were in the wedding.