Erin & Chad 7: Reckless Behavior in a Pandemic Has Consequences

[FrumpyAtheist]

45 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

I belong to a reading group and we are always having online chats about what we are reading and asking for recommendations. When we met in person (someday maybe we will again), we were a group of heathens who drank wine and liquor and had had some uncensored talks about our sex lives. We have a new member who reminds me of Erin. The woman just made a post that basically asked for a book with no sex, drinking, drugs, violence, murder, paranormal, or inappropriate language. I'm five seconds from recommending the phone book.  

That's a bit extreme. I can think of a lot of classics that would fit that: anything by Jane Austen, even some Kafka (Metamorphosis comes to mind), Edith Wharton's the House of Mirth, Virginia Woolf's Waves, and probably many more if I really took time to think about it.

[AussieKrissy]

Oh the irony… I share my “book”on Instagram and then open up to see that Erin is sharing her favourite reads. Oh the different lives we lead… 

lol not mine I put up as a joke. 

[WiseGirl]

9 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

The woman just made a post that basically asked for a book with no sex, drinking, drugs, violence, murder, paranormal, or inappropriate language. I'm five seconds from recommending the phone book.  

I think you are spot on with the phone book. Even the Bible wouldn't make that list.

Edited June 17, 2021 by WiseGirl

[AliceInFundyland]

@rebeccawriter01

I get why you wouldn't want to keep her around but I can actually help! The latest Jane Smiley book, Paris in Parestroika would be perfect. It's an intelligent, "clean" story about a group of animals who have an adventure.

[anjulibai]

9 hours ago, FrumpyAtheist said:

That's a bit extreme. I can think of a lot of classics that would fit that: anything by Jane Austen, even some Kafka (Metamorphosis comes to mind), Edith Wharton's the House of Mirth, Virginia Woolf's Waves, and probably many more if I really took time to think about it.

Several of those have sex and drinking, including Jane Austin. Not overtly, sure, but it's there. 

[rebeccawriter01]

9 hours ago, FrumpyAtheist said:

That's a bit extreme. I can think of a lot of classics that would fit that: anything by Jane Austen, even some Kafka (Metamorphosis comes to mind), Edith Wharton's the House of Mirth, Virginia Woolf's Waves, and probably many more if I really took time to think about it.

Some are giving her suggestions. I just find her a bit taxing. Any time someone says they just finished a book her immediate response is to trash it if it has anything she finds objectionable. She finds Jane Austen too racy, etc. 

I don't like all the books the members read. They don't like all that I read. But we are typically respectful and just go on to another suggestion. We don't monopolize the conversation about each book and how anyone who is reading it is going to hell. 

[Flossie]

Is it possible that your new book club member is either trolling you, or is a fundy that is trying to 'gently' lead you to "better" reading habits?

I wonder, if someone seemed too interested in finding her version of acceptable reading material, would they find her contacting them privately to see if they're open to discussions on religion?

Some people might play along, but I'm already annoyed by your new member.

As @WiseGirl mentioned, even the Bible wouldn't be clean enough for her.  Dare you tell her that?

[nolongerIFBx]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

There are Christian fiction books they might read. Of course the kids read fiction when they are little. 

Some IFB churches really look down on Christian fiction- it isn't truth, just made up stories. They want the people reading sermons, theology, biographies, etc.

I was a rebel. Love me some fiction, even racy fiction. Christian romances were a compromise.

Edited June 17, 2021 by nolongerIFBx

[FrumpyAtheist]

Jane Austen too racy?? ? Well, that's me out, then. I'd give up on her.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I would politely tell her the book club doesn’t seem to be her cup of tea and she should probably find another one in Line with her beliefs.

[HereticHick]

13 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

I belong to a reading group and we are always having online chats about what we are reading and asking for recommendations. When we met in person (someday maybe we will again), we were a group of heathens who drank wine and liquor and had had some uncensored talks about our sex lives. We have a new member who reminds me of Erin. The woman just made a post that basically asked for a book with no sex, drinking, drugs, violence, murder, paranormal, or inappropriate language. I'm five seconds from recommending the phone book.  

Your new book club member needs to pull her own weight in the club--she needs to recommends some books that meet her criteria, and if she can't, she should show her self to the door.

[AussieKrissy]

9 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

I think you are spot on with the phone book. Even the Bible wouldn't make that list.

anne of green gables?

the chronicles of narnia ?

[rebeccawriter01]

7 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Your new book club member needs to pull her own weight in the club--she needs to recommends some books that meet her criteria, and if she can't, she should show her self to the door.

That's my vote. I'm not exactly active in it. I find her amusingly annoying at this point. 

1 hour ago, AussieKrissy said:

anne of green gables?

the chronicles of narnia ?

I'm thinking independent/educated women are probably distasteful to her too. 

[FrumpyAtheist]

Actually the more I think about it the more I'd be tempted to make subversive, disturbing recommendations that follow the letter and not the spirit of what she's asking for. Tell her to read Doris Lessing's The Fifth Child. It's about family, after all.

[artdecades]

Two words for the book club member: Amish Romance

[QuiverFullofBooks]

5 hours ago, artdecades said:

Two words for the book club member: Amish Romance

Bonnet rippers!

[catlady]

41 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Bonnet rippers!

I read Amish romances for a while, and there was one where the protagonists were courting, and one night during their rumpspringa, they were alone and the girl removed her bonnet and the boy unbraided her hair.  This was not approved in their sect, and they were caught in this scandalously compromising situation by the father of one of them.  I don’t recall the rest of the story, but that passed for a sex scene in the genre.

[Mama Mia]

2 hours ago, catlady said:

I read Amish romances for a while, and there was one where the protagonists were courting, and one night during their rumpspringa, they were alone and the girl removed her bonnet and the boy unbraided her hair.  This was not approved in their sect, and they were caught in this scandalously compromising situation by the father of one of them.  I don’t recall the rest of the story, but that passed for a sex scene in the genre.

Not going to lie, sounds kind of hot. I need to get out more. 

[formergothardite]

My personal favorite in the Amish fetish romance genre is the pregnant Amish widow series. I’ve not read them but they seem to have a devoted following. Whoever came up with probably made a fortune. 

[OyToTheVey]

On 6/18/2021 at 12:07 PM, catlady said:

I read Amish romances for a while, and there was one where the protagonists were courting, and one night during their rumpspringa, they were alone and the girl removed her bonnet and the boy unbraided her hair.  This was not approved in their sect, and they were caught in this scandalously compromising situation by the father of one of them.  I don’t recall the rest of the story, but that passed for a sex scene in the genre.

You win the internet for me today! I'm dying from laughter right now.

[kmachete14]

Her breath caught in her throat as his hands gently grazed her chin, fumbling with the bonnet knot. Her heart was pounding as his fingertips entwined with the loose curls escaping from the nape of her neck, and chills cascaded down her spine when his eyes looked into hers. "Let me see," he whispered, and she breathlessly nodded. Slowly, he slid her bonnet away from her face, until she was bare before him. His jaw twitched with restraint and he took her -- all of her -- in. "My God," he stammered, "beautiful." Once again his fingers were on her, but this time, on her temples. Goosflesh rippled across her scalp as he calmly combed through the wisps framing her face. "Turn around," he commanded, his nervousness seemingly gone and replaced with a confidence that demanded instant obedience. She turned and settled her skirts as he began to painstakingly remove her braid. Piece by piece her hair fell way, brushing across her shoulders and back, as he carefully raked through her tresses. She could feel his breath hot on her neck and her own heartbeat pulsing at her breast. Finally, her hair was loose. He grabbed her hand, tenderly, and kissed it. 

END AMISH SEX SCENE

THANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 

[Mama Mia]

1 hour ago, kmachete14 said:

Her breath caught in her throat as his hands gently grazed her chin, fumbling with the bonnet knot. Her heart was pounding as his fingertips entwined with the loose curls escaping from the nape of her neck, and chills cascaded down her spine when his eyes looked into hers. "Let me see," he whispered, and she breathlessly nodded. Slowly, he slid her bonnet away from her face, until she was bare before him. His jaw twitched with restraint and he took her -- all of her -- in. "My God," he stammered, "beautiful." Once again his fingers were on her, but this time, on her temples. Goosflesh rippled across her scalp as he calmly combed through the wisps framing her face. "Turn around," he commanded, his nervousness seemingly gone and replaced with a confidence that demanded instant obedience. She turned and settled her skirts as he began to painstakingly remove her braid. Piece by piece her hair fell way, brushing across her shoulders and back, as he carefully raked through her tresses. She could feel his breath hot on her neck and her own heartbeat pulsing at her breast. Finally, her hair was loose. He grabbed her hand, tenderly, and kissed it. 

END AMISH SEX SCENE

THANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 

Dahmmmmmm you win all the Internet points. You could make serious $$$ with this.

 

[HereticHick]

Take all the Internet stars, @kmachete14

In the words of Cathleen Calvert in Gone With the Wind, "But she was ruined, just the same!"

 

[CaptainFunderpants]

@rebeccawriter01 I prefer pretty much the same restrictions she does, and so I read almost exclusively non-fiction ??‍♀️ The world is such a fascinating place, and if I crave fiction, I will in fact go back and binge read the entirety of the Anne of Green Gables series @AussieKrissy. Orson Scott Card is also a guilty pleasure, as is speculative fiction. But I do read approximately 95% nonfiction.

[Expectopatronus]

@rebeccawriter01 I like Donna Andrews, Hazel Gaynor and Laura Morrigan. All pretty clean and well written. I can’t speak for all of her books but Laurie King’s Mary Russell books are intelligent, well written and also pretty clean. She might like those. 

Edited July 3, 2021 by Expectopatronus