Erin & Chad 7: Reckless Behavior in a Pandemic Has Consequences

[SassyPants]

49 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

I've never understood this way of thinking.

Are there really people who want a whole day with all the attention focused at them? If I were getting married, and had a sibling pregnant with a long-awaited boy, it would make the day even more joyous. 

Why is it considered polite to delay good news (I can understand about bad news) on someone's wedding day? Either way, won't the bride and groom still get plenty of attention?

 Guests aren't going to say, "I can't congratulate the bride--or even think about her--because Erin Paine is having a boy."

Do brides really think--"I want all my guests to be focusing on ME and my new husband.  I do NOT want them thinking, even for a minute, about Baby Boy Paine. That would be so upsetting!"

When I go to weddings, I think about the married couple about 5% of the time. The rest of the time, I think about:

the food

the long-lost relatives I am greeting

whether I have food on my teeth

if I can dance to the current song

the name of the cousin who seems to know me so well

how much my feet hurt

when I can get home and away from all this noise.

Not to mention if she’s due in January, she has likely known the sex for awhile-

[just_ordinary]

On 10/19/2021 at 8:31 AM, MaryOrMartha said:

So true! Our eldest just turned 5, and our youngest is almost 1 and he kept saying he wanted a brother to play cars and footy with. Boy was he disappointed when he met his baby sister for the first time who was much smaller and more useless than he expected. 😂

 

On 10/19/2021 at 1:41 AM, Jackie3 said:

He may be disappointed either way. Will a 7 year old be that interested in an infant?  If he is looking for a playmate--someone like Bradley but living in his own house--he may not be happy with a newborn. My sib was born when I was about Carson's age. No matter how much prep my mother did, I didn't quite realize that babies don't come out of the womb ready to play catch with me.

There is a big difference between 4 and 7 though. I think Carson is old enough to know that the new sibling is very much not his newest playmate. He has seen enough babies to understand that at his age. 4 is a completely different phase developmentally and it can go either way really. They might grow closer to be playmates because they are not that far apart or this will never really happen to a big extent because they will always be interested in different things due to their current development phase. They might click or not. A bigger age gape will for a long time include an obvious hierarchy. Children love to boss younger siblings around and often love to act as a mum/dad replacement in certain situations to enjoy a position of power. It’s a great moment to teach about responsibilities, patience with younger ones, empathy and taking yourself back a bit and so on. Not that I think that’s what they will do.

Edited October 20, 2021 by just_ordinary

[Karma]

10 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Are there really people who want a whole day with all the attention focused at them? If I were getting married, and had a sibling pregnant with a long-awaited boy, it would make the day even more joyous. 

My niece was born six days before our wedding. First grandchild. In another country, and this was nearly 30 years ago, before Facebook. My dad asked if he could include the news in his speech and I told him to go for it - I was a very excited first time auntie, even though I didn’t meet her for nearly two years.  I don’t remember anything else he said in his speech, but I know he started with “The week began with the news from Japan that Name and name had become the proud parents of baby E, and has ended with welcoming DH to our family”.  

I was happy to have the news spread at my wedding, but I can see that in a big family when others get the attention, some people may want to keep the news for a week when nothing else big is happening. 

So I reckon she’s having a boy, and there’ll be a big reveal post when the wedding is over. 

[Flossie]

11 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Are there really people who want a whole day with all the attention focused at them?

I imagine some couples want the whole day to be devoted to them.  Others might request that people hold off on announcements not pertaining to the happy couple until a certain point, like at some point in the reception.  

I think it's a combination of manners, respect, and discretion.  Ask the couple ahead of time if it's OK to make an announcement and when that should happen.  Make sure you tell them what you want to reveal.  If they give you permission, keep the announcement short.  It's possible that some of the people present are only there for the wedding and aren't invested in your good news.

I think bad news, if possible, should be held back until after the wedding and reception.  Like telling people that great Aunt Clara couldn't make it because she wasn't up to attending.  You can tell people later that Aunt Clara died the day before.  You know Aunt Clara wouldn't have wanted to put a downer on the wedding.

But if there's a tornado headed your way, or something like that, different rules apply.  As if that needed to be said.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

If you’re one of 19 children, yeah, it’s nice to have one day of your life that’s about you. People can hear about Erin’s baby and Lawson’s engagement some other time.

[just_ordinary]

Im mean I get the point about engagement. Because people will be interested in all sorts of details (how, the ring, the date, honeymoon, location….). But the sex of a baby? What more than “congratulations, have you picked a name yet?” would happen? It’s neither her first nor the first of its sex. So the attention would not really shift.

[CarrotCake]

14 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Im mean I get the point about engagement. Because people will be interested in all sorts of details (how, the ring, the date, honeymoon, location….). But the sex of a baby? What more than “congratulations, have you picked a name yet?” would happen? It’s neither her first nor the first of its sex. So the attention would not really shift.

Especially in such a big family.

I am pregnant with my first but there are so many people pregnant around me that I already feel like my baby is not interesting to anyone except for me and my husband. Not completely true since it will be the first grandchild on his side and the first grandson on my side but still... the more babies around you, the less interesting every one of them gets.

 

[just_ordinary]

And let’s not forget- everyone knows about the miracle baby. Announcing the miracle pregnancy would have probably classified as stealing the spotlight, but that’s all yesterday’s news already as well.

Also: Congratulations @CarrotCake

Edited October 21, 2021 by just_ordinary

[Travlr98]

Erin is having

Spoiler

Another girl. Findley Marie 

 

[byzant]

Unusual name over here you get a lot of ....

Finley's it's been super popular for the last 5-8 years but it's exclusively male 

Never heard it for a girl and if it's pronounced the same way - find Leigh ? It not great imo

Edited October 21, 2021 by byzant
Add

[EmiSue]

3 minutes ago, byzant said:

Unusual name over here you get a lot of ....

Finley's it's been super popular for the last 5-8 years but it's exclusively male 

Never heard it for a girl and if it's pronounced the same way - find Leigh ? It not great imo

I don't share naming tastes with Erin, but Finley is my least favorite of all her kids' names. There's a small town called Findley, Ohio, not far from where I grew up, but I doubt they took it into consideration😂

[Dbm]

To me Finley Marie is still better than Jessa's Spurgeon and fern 

 

Edited October 21, 2021 by Dbm

[CanadianMamam]

So Erin makes a list and then Chad chooses his favourite from the list and Chad picks the middle name. I guess that is one way to do it.

I actually kinda like Finley Marie and I think it goes well with her other kids (especially since they call Brooklyn, Brookie, and Holland, Holly)

 

 

Edited October 21, 2021 by CanadianMamam

[Dbm]

they choose from these 

 

 

Spoiler

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Dbm said:

they choose from these 

 

 

  Hide contents

 

Oh god she’s obsessed with place names. That’s why I said Hudson for a boy and London for a girl. Finley is another place name. I guess Finley is her best out of that group. I kind of wish she could just go with simpler names. Charles is Carson. Why not just Charlie? She’s so extra. She couldn’t just go with Brooke. It had to be Brooklyn. She couldn’t have a Holly. She went with Holland. She couldn’t do Evelyn or Beverly, she had to go with Everly. I hate Everly the most out of all her name choices. It’s the only non-place name. 

[SorenaJ]

Finley is better than Harbor, I guess. You can't call your kid Harbor. Or Scotland. You really can't have Holland and Scotland. Or Holland and Ireland. That's just weird. And Scotty is not really a flattering nickname. 

Brighton would be weird, for such queerphobic people. Brighton is the gay capital of UK. 

Edited October 21, 2021 by SorenaJ

[Natalie22]

1 minute ago, SorenaJ said:

Finley is better than Harbor, I guess. You can't call your kid Harbor. Or Scotland. You really can't have Holland and Scotland. That's just weird. And Scotty is not really a flattering nickname. 

Brighton would be weird, for such queerphobic people. Brighton is the gay capital of UK. 

What is name number 5, can anyone read it? 

Ireland

[justmy2cents]

47 minutes ago, byzant said:

Unusual name over here you get a lot of ....

Finley's it's been super popular for the last 5-8 years but it's exclusively male 

Never heard it for a girl and if it's pronounced the same way - find Leigh ? It not great imo

Where do you live? 
My daughter has a girl Finley in her class. Not super common but not unheard of either. Looks like it’s a top 200 name for girls in the US.

[EmiSue]

23 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

Finley is better than Harbor, I guess. You can't call your kid Harbor. Or Scotland. You really can't have Holland and Scotland. Or Holland and Ireland. That's just weird. And Scotty is not really a flattering nickname. 

Brighton would be weird, for such queerphobic people. Brighton is the gay capital of UK. 

Yeah, Scotland? Ireland? HARBOR? Does she not know the difference between picking names for kids and planning a vacation? 

[byzant]

18 minutes ago, justmy2cents said:

Where do you live? 
My daughter has a girl Finley in her class. Not super common but not unheard of either. Looks like it’s a top 200 name for girls in the US.

Ahh interesting I'm in Scotland with a lot of friends in England and Ireland who are reproducing !

All the Finley's are boys. I'm very pleased it was a typo and it's Finley not Findley tho that was much worse. 

I like it on the boys I know and Finn's a good nickname 

Edited October 21, 2021 by byzant

[JermajestyDuggar]

I swear there’s a little girl named Irelyn. She’s very cute but her name is awful. 

[SorenaJ]

7 minutes ago, byzant said:

Ahh interesting I'm in Scotland with a lot of friends in England and Ireland who are reproducing !

All the Finley's are boys. I'm very pleased it was a typo and it's Finley not Findley tho that was much worse. 

I like it on the boys I know and Finn's a good nickname 

Yeah, Finley is pretty much exclusively male here in the UK. 0.3 % of babies named Finley in 2020 were girls (8 girls were named Finley), 99.7 % boys (2613 boys were named Finley). 

(compared with the US where Finley is 57 % female, 43 % male, so definitely gender neutral) 

 

 

[byzant]

@SorenaJ that's so interesting I wonder why there is such a difference?

[QuiverFullofBooks]

I don’t like the name, but it’s the best of that group.

[SorenaJ]

8 minutes ago, byzant said:

@SorenaJ that's so interesting I wonder why there is such a difference?

I don’t know, gender neutral names are quite common in the US, and less so in the UK. I am guessing either

1) UK is quite conservative, and do not wish to be seen as progressive and trendy (“things are fine the way they have always been”)

2) Some UK people are against things that are American, simple because they are American, so if gender neutral names are trendy in America, there might be some pushback 

3) Naming your child more gendered names is a way of enforcing gender roles which people might consciously or subconsciously agree with. Americans probably do it in other ways. 
 

It is changing in the UK, but the UK is not a country that likes to embrace change. Sometimes I wish we could ship the worst Tories of to a desert island.