Safe At Home 6: PIGS ARE FLYING! Luke is Engaged!

[0 kids n not countin]

Now that the two  oldest sons are in their 40s, with a few more soon to be 40 as well, and absolutely nothing has changed since the man boys were actually boys, they're rehashing their old FamTeam website posts, Dad's Diaries, etc. How sad imo.  

Well, since Rick won't allow his precious man boys to procreate, at least this lunacy won't be carried forward to a new generation.

Wonder if they'll choose to rehash the Vine Valley stuff, and if any of their followers will ask them about updates...🤔😅🙄

[nokidsmom]

19 hours ago, GoddessOfVictory said:

..... If Rick is in sound-enough mind to notice his legacy is a sinking ship, and he began to encourage the boys to get into relationships, would the manboys suddenly become less picky about who they choose? In other words, if almighty Rick gave his approval to a particular woman, would the boys suddenly see her as marriageable, despite any “flaws”?

IMHO I am not sure Rick is of sound enough mind to realize that it is a sinking ship, that somehow that a Princess Charming (or rather 13 of them) will still somehow materialize on the compound's doorstep in spite of the years going on without any appearance(s).   If he did have a role in Luke's relationship ending, then possible he actually drove away one of them.   Because given the weird family dynamics any woman embarking on a relationship with an older manboy who didn't seem to run away screaming might have had enough patience, understanding, or the just the right mindset to make it actually work.   

And if Rick passes away without seeing a single manboy married, it will be just chalked up to no one was good enough, God's will, or some other reason that doesn't involve any responsibility, whatever it is, on his and Cathy's end.    Because something really got beat into those manboy's heads with all 13 of them still single at this point.   Yes, it can be argued that the manboys as adults now bear some responsibility for their single state, but it all had to start somewhere and that's their parents. 

In the IHMO unlikely event Rick did start encouraging the manboys to loosen the standards and find someone so he can be a Grandpa before he kicks the bucket it's possible that the manboys might have learned his lessons too well.  That they will remain picky and fearful of disapproval but from each other.  

[gustava]

Even if Rick and Kathy loosen the strings, what virgin female would want to marry a manboy, old enough to be her father...or even her grandfather?  And, what is to become of Wizzie??

Edited August 26, 2022 by gustava
clarity

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, gustava said:

Even if Rick and Kathy loosen the strings, what virgin female would want to marry a manboy, old enough to be her father...or even her grandfather?  And, what is to become of Wizzie??

Kory Bollinger who just married Sarah Maxwell is 43. But he doesn’t seem like a stunted man boy. He seems like an ordinary 43 year old guy. It’s funny because plenty of men marry for their first time when they are late 30s and early 40s. But these Arndts give off such a sad vibe that I can’t imagine that many ladies going after them. It’s like Natty Darnell. He had multiple broken courtships before he finally found a girl 15 years younger to marry him. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Fearless prediction:  One of the saddest stories ever told

None of the man boys nor Wizzie will ever marry.  Wizzie will take over for Kathy running the house.  All of them will live in the mothership forever.  Rick and Kathy will pass away knowing that their children will always be Safe at Home.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

24 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Fearless prediction:  One of the saddest stories ever told

None of the man boys nor Wizzie will ever marry.  Wizzie will take over for Kathy running the house.  All of them will live in the mothership forever.  Rick and Kathy will pass away knowing that their children will always be Safe at Home.

 

Imagine having 14 kids that all live into adulthood and never having any grandkids. Ever. That must be a rare phenomenon. 

[nokidsmom]

2 hours ago, gustava said:

And, what is to become of Wizzie??

As some posters have mentioned, she will take over running the house, more and more as Cathy ages.  She's probably doing now.  She will have 13 brothers plus aging parents dependent on her support.   She shares the same parents who stunted her 13 brothers.  And should any suitor come to call, in addition to parents, she's got 13 brothers who probably be 13 Steveovahs with impossible standards for their sister.  13 times the guilt trips and 13 times the anger should she have the backbone to leave.   I don't have much hope for her actually.

[HermioneSparrow]

1 hour ago, nokidsmom said:

As some posters have mentioned, she will take over running the house, more and more as Cathy ages.  She's probably doing now.  She will have 13 brothers plus aging parents dependent on her support.   She shares the same parents who stunted her 13 brothers.  And should any suitor come to call, in addition to parents, she's got 13 brothers who probably be 13 Steveovahs with impossible standards for their sister.  13 times the guilt trips and 13 times the anger should she have the backbone to leave.   I don't have much hope for her actually.

I actually can see MAYBE one of the manboys marrying after Rick passes but not her, she has it more difficult than the manboys for all the reasons you stated. Who knows though, last time I said this about someone that someone ended up getting married days ago (Sarah Maxwell).

[keen23]

I wonder if the three boys younger than Wizzy are the only ones who will escape? They're still young enough to be normally socialized in their 20's, and they aren't the princess of the family.

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, keen23 said:

I wonder if the three boys younger than Wizzy are the only ones who will escape? They're still young enough to be normally socialized in their 20's, and they aren't the princess of the family.

They seem to be the only ones I have a little hope for. If someone will break out, it will be one of the youngest boys. Maybe 2 will break away together. To feel like they have someone to support them.

[quiversR4hunting]

3 hours ago, keen23 said:

I wonder if the three boys younger than Wizzy are the only ones who will escape? They're still young enough to be normally socialized in their 20's, and they aren't the princess of the family.

I wonder the same thing. 

I think the other odd thing about this family is (to my knowledge/memory) none of the off spring have gone away on a mission trip. Even Nurie got to go away, it was with her dad but she went away for a little time. They also don't have a camp to go visit with similar minded people like big sandy or fort rock family camp or the women's retreat that JillyRod puts on. Sad to say when the Rod kids seem to have more exposure with potential suiters than the Ardnt offspring. 

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

16 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I think the other odd thing about this family is (to my knowledge/memory) none of the off spring have gone away on a mission trip. Even Nurie got to go away, it was with her dad but she went away for a little time. They also don't have a camp to go visit with similar minded people like big sandy or fort rock family camp or the women's retreat that JillyRod puts on. Sad to say when the Rod kids seem to have more exposure with potential suiters than the Ardnt offspring. 

I don't think missions are a part of the Church of Rick. I seem to recall some of them getting involved with a (likely Catholic run) pregnancy center for a time, but you otherwise never hear of any Arndt branching out beyond their internet presence (which up until recently has been much diminished) and Rick's FB live "sermons".  They don't actually "do" anything beyond stay at home and blah, blah, blah to each other.

I'll be curious to see if any of the Rod sons are able to find suitors. Timothy doesn't seem to be doing too well. But as the Rods have some sort of community, I agree they're still more likely to find wives than the island-on-to-themselves Arndts are, despite the fact that the Arndts are clearly more intelligent and attractive. (I just watched a few seconds of their weight loss video, and must say that Jude looks super cute with some extra weight on him.)

 

[Howl]

I'm so curious about how Rick instituted and amplified the "Safe at Home" mindset.  And WHY safe at home? 

With fundies, the "safe at home" under the protection of the patriarch applies to daughters until they marry, not a bazillion sons. 

[Teaistheway]

18 hours ago, Anne Of Gray Gables said:

I don't think missions are a part of the Church of Rick. I seem to recall some of them getting involved with a (likely Catholic run) pregnancy center for a time, but you otherwise never hear of any Arndt branching out beyond their internet presence (which up until recently has been much diminished) and Rick's FB live "sermons".  They don't actually "do" anything beyond stay at home and blah, blah, blah to each other.

I'll be curious to see if any of the Rod sons are able to find suitors. Timothy doesn't seem to be doing too well. But as the Rods have some sort of community, I agree they're still more likely to find wives than the island-on-to-themselves Arndts are, despite the fact that the Arndts are clearly more intelligent and attractive. (I just watched a few seconds of their weight loss video, and must say that Jude looks super cute with some extra weight on him.)

 

I agree. I think the difference is that the Rods are very focused on marriage for their offspring, finding 'Godly' partners for their children is what success looks like for them and they take every opportunity to be proactive and  promote their marriage age children fairly obviously.   

Rick and Cathy don't and there seems  no hint of concern that not one of their adult kids has found a partner.

The guys do seem bright and attractive,  they have proper jobs. It's the biggest mystery in fundieland for me 🤣

[Bastet]

Part of the problem is, as others have noted, that they are not connected up with other Christians and so are not hearing “leave and cleave” and pro family messaging on the regular. There’s only Rick with his delusions and fears. 
  I agree that when he dies some of them will leave. We don’t have any sense of these men as individuals,  so we can’t observe them and conclude, “That one there—he’s ready to blow.”  I do agree that Lizzie is really stuck, but if some of the guys leave that will connect them all with wives and their wives’ families’ churches. I can then imagine a woman in the family looking at Lizzie’s situation and saying, “WTF! Are you guys going to do something about this or what?” We are not sure which hole the Maxwell women crawled through, but all they may have needed was a few people to hold up the barbed wire fence. 

Edited August 27, 2022 by Bastet

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

8 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Part of the problem is, as others have noted, that they are not connected up with other Christians and so are not hearing “leave and cleave” and pro family messaging on the regular. There’s only Rick with his delusions and fears. 
  I agree that when he dies some of them will leave.

Rick's parents are both still alive. They must be in their 90's at this point or very close to it. I think Rick is 66. Anything can happen to anyone, of course, but if he takes after them the boys may be waiting a long time for liberation. 

[Rose55blue]

I found it interesting that Rick and Cathy met when they were only 13 (Cathy) and 17 (Rick) at some prayer meeting group….they were just friends for a few years then got engaged when Cathy was 18 and waited another year to get married. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

42 minutes ago, Rose55blue said:

I found it interesting that Rick and Cathy met when they were only 13 (Cathy) and 17 (Rick) at some prayer meeting group….they were just friends for a few years then got engaged when Cathy was 18 and waited another year to get married. 

Of course back then people seemed a little more lax about age differences. Because today that would definitely be side eyed. 

[Jana814]

35 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Of course back then people seemed a little more lax about age differences. Because today that would definitely be side eyed. 

Agree. I have a friend who’s older sister (they are 10 years apart) started dating her husband when she was 13 & he was 17. No one batted an eye. They didn’t get married till her sister was 24 though. 

Edited August 29, 2022 by Jana814

[Letgo]

On 8/26/2022 at 9:47 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

They seem to be the only ones I have a little hope for. If someone will break out, it will be one of the youngest boys. Maybe 2 will break away together. To feel like they have someone to support them.

I’d bet on a younger boy too. In my experience parents often lighten up on the younger siblings, especially in a large family because they’re tired. Maybe Kathy and Rick have been less “Arndty” with the younger kids? Also, they’ve learned more about parenting, in typical families. However, that may not apply to the Arndts!
But I could see the younger kids in a family with lots of rules/isolation seeing what they have to look forward to as a future. No dating, no marriage, no higher education, no working for anyone else, no leaving home, no independence. The younger kids, especially in a family in which NO ONE has gotten married, might be more likely to want to do things differently. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Letgo said:

I’d bet on a younger boy too. In my experience parents often lighten up on the younger siblings, especially in a large family because they’re tired. Maybe Kathy and Rick have been less “Arndty” with the younger kids? Also, they’ve learned more about parenting, in typical families. However, that may not apply to the Arndts!
But I could see the younger kids in a family with lots of rules/isolation seeing what they have to look forward to as a future. No dating, no marriage, no higher education, no working for anyone else, no leaving home, no independence. The younger kids, especially in a family in which NO ONE has gotten married, might be more likely to want to do things differently. 

I would guess Rick and Kathy didn’t loosen up that much. Maybe a little. But they seem just as stringent now as they were in the past. But I guess I just figured the younger ones may just be a little different because they are the youngest. The older boys were expected to be perfect role models for the younger ones. While the younger ones didn’t have to be role models for anyone. They might I have had a slightly different childhood experience because of that. 

Edited August 29, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would guess Rick and Kathy didn’t loosen up that much. Maybe a little. But they seem just as stringent now as they were in the past. But I guess I just figured the younger ones may just be a little different because they are the youngest. The older boys were expected to be perfect role models for the younger ones. While the younger ones didn’t have to be role models for anyone. They might I have had a slightly different childhood experience because of that. 

The flip side is the younger ones (who aren't all that young now - I think the youngest is almost 20) have tons of older brothers watching their every move and giving endless useless advice. It's almost like having six or eight or ten additional nutty parents.

One thing I find most bizarre about the Arndts is that Rick seems to have a total fixation on the oldest five or six sons, with the first four clearly having a place of honor in the family. Watch any one of his Sunday sermons and you'll see the majority of the sons under 35 never open their mouths, except maybe to sing some dreadful contemporary Christian songs. I'd like to think this means he's less focused on the younger ones and this will give them some sort of advantage, but Rick is so off the wall, I really don't know what it means.  

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

36 minutes ago, Anne Of Gray Gables said:

The flip side is the younger ones (who aren't all that young now - I think the youngest is almost 20) have tons of older brothers watching their every move and giving endless useless advice. It's almost like having six or eight or ten additional nutty parents.

One thing I find most bizarre about the Arndts is that Rick seems to have a total fixation on the oldest five or six sons, with the first four clearly having a place of honor in the family. Watch any one of his Sunday sermons and you'll see the majority of the sons under 35 never open their mouths, except maybe to sing some dreadful contemporary Christian songs. I'd like to think this means he's less focused on the younger ones and this will give them some sort of advantage, but Rick is so off the wall, I really don't know what it means.  

 

I think he very actively parented the first half dozen boys. But you can’t do that with 14 kids. There just isn’t enough time in the day. I imagine he focused much more on the older ones for many years. Kathy probably tried to focus on all of them. But she too doesn’t have enough time in the day. In huge fundie families, you will often see the mother and oldest girl being BFFs because they need so much help from the oldest girl. I imagine it’s similar with a father and the oldest son.

[nelliebelle1197]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would guess Rick and Kathy didn’t loosen up that much. Maybe a little. But they seem just as stringent now as they were in the past. But I guess I just figured the younger ones may just be a little different because they are the youngest. The older boys were expected to be perfect role models for the younger ones. While the younger ones didn’t have to be role models for anyone. They might I have had a slightly different childhood experience because of that. 

I agree - it is not likely Rick and Cathy loosened up at all. There is nothing to indicate a inch of control has slipped from Rick's bony fingers. He's a cult leader, except due to his lack of charisma and intellect, the only cult he can manage is the one his wife birthed.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

18 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Of course back then people seemed a little more lax about age differences. Because today that would definitely be side eyed. 

It’s only a four-year gap, and they can’t help how old they were when they met. But yeah, it’s not great that she was only 18 when they got engaged, especially with the age difference.