Safe At Home 6: PIGS ARE FLYING! Luke is Engaged!

[AmazonGrace]

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. An old proverb of the jungle.

 

Edited September 5, 2022 by AmazonGrace

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, Howl said:

I'm still chewing over the raging lack of awareness/stunted insight it takes to be never-married guys in their early 40s thinking they have something to offer on choosing wife.  I mean, WTAF  people. 

What gets me is the passage of time and none of them have figured out why they are sitting there still single.  Even the younger brothers who might be watching their older ones and wondering "what's wrong with this picture?". 

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It honestly sounds like we should all be very glad no female has been ensnared by these man boys. How miserable an Arndt wife would be. 

The sorry part is if these guys had a more normal upbringing sans the weirdness, Rick, the overall "stuckness" I think these guys would actually make decent husbands.  I mean, they are handy, some of them have decent jobs with the court reporting and photography, and overall look to be decent men.   I think they have had their share of women who were interested in them but the cultish family dynamics has basically killed that prospect for them so it's rather sad.

As it is, it's probably a good thing that they remain single because I can see it being pure misery for any wife.  Not only with a husband incapable of being in an normal adult relationship but would also be seen as competition by a mother-in-law, and a whole family weighing on every move, every decision.

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Not to mention how could a manboy(s) support a wife and children when he and the other manboys have to support the entire Arndt family?

At the moment there are 16 people to be supported.  Suppose 3 manboys married and had 2 children a piece -- that's a total of 25 people to support. Because as sure as I'm sitting here the married manboys would be forced expected to support the family still safe at home.

Even if every manboy married they'd still have to support Cathy/ Rick/ Wizzy (probably)/ Vine Valley filming as well as their own families.

And of course --  the married manboys would have to live close to the mothership -- perhaps communally in the manboy house.  Going to the mothership to celebrate their birthdays' in the parent's bedroom (ick).

Far too enmeshed/ controlled for 99.99999% of women.

Edited September 5, 2022 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[Eastcoastn]

2 hours ago, Howl said:

  

I'm still chewing over the raging lack of awareness/stunted insight it takes to be never-married guys in their early 40s thinking they have something to offer on choosing wife.  I mean, WTAF  people. 

It's a master class on how to be stuck...she's pretty but too pretty but not tooo pretty, if you know what I mean and is she indicating interest in me? that's a deal breaker because whoa!  if she is feminine enough to capture my interest and seems interested but then am I interested just because she feminine and I'm attracted to her also a deal breaker.  And all of my brothers will chew over the appropriateness of my choice, which is the wrong choice because she's not perfect for the following reasons...Neurotic. Neurotic. Neurotic. 

If one of the man boys did actually tie the knot, they would have zero ZERO concept of how to live with a woman who wasn't their mother or sister.  Maybe one of the younger boys who is closer in age to his sister? I dunno. 

These guys have been raised with zero privacy and I'm sure taught that masterbation is so very wrong in the eyes of God.  Not only are these guys raised fundy, they are raised by an ex-Catholic fundy. Not seeing a good marital outcome.  

Lawza mercy. 

Your top paragraph is BANG ON! That is incredibly neurotic, and exactly how they speak. 
I wonder if the younger boys feel less that Mary is a "princess" and more of just their peer, so it's possible re: knowing what it's like to live with a girl. The older guys act like she hung the moon just for being born. Ick. 

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

8 minutes ago, Eastcoastn said:

I wonder if the younger boys feel less that Mary is a "princess" and more of just their peer, so it's possible re: knowing what it's like to live with a girl. The older guys act like she hung the moon just for being born. Ick. 

I would guess that they do see her as more of a real person than the brothers who remember the anticipation of pregnancies and the media coverage when - gasp - a female child was born. She's something like 17 years younger than the oldest so even though she's always lived with all of them, most people are closer to siblings closer in age to themselves.

So this gives me some additional hope for the younger sons, but the flip side is they have so many older brothers watching them. No breathing room at all. And as far as anyone knows, the current 20 somethings have never dated or shown any independent educational or career aspirations either. 

[Eastcoastn]

Oh boy, a "temptation" video. Can't wait... 🥴

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

2 hours ago, Eastcoastn said:

Oh boy, a "temptation" video. Can't wait... 🥴

Kudos to them for not mentioning Satan even once.

[Eastcoastn]

10 minutes ago, Anne Of Gray Gables said:

Kudos to them for not mentioning Satan even once.

I found it interesting that they brought up p***. Of course never talked about it again, but funny. John is actually one of the most annoyingly frustrating people to listen to imo. Mark is, at least, charasmatic. John is as interesting and animated as a bingo hall announcer. 

[Petronella]

15 hours ago, Eastcoastn said:

Oh boy, a "temptation" video. Can't wait... 🥴

Is this something new? Where is it?

13 hours ago, Eastcoastn said:

I found it interesting that they brought up p***. Of course never talked about it again, but funny. John is actually one of the most annoyingly frustrating people to listen to imo. Mark is, at least, charasmatic. John is as interesting and animated as a bingo hall announcer. 

What is “p***”?

[Eastcoastn]

37 minutes ago, Petronella said:

Is this something new? Where is it?

What is “p***”?

Didn't wanna get banned for saying words I can't say. Rhymes with worn and starts with p. 

[Destiny]

30 minutes ago, Eastcoastn said:

Didn't wanna get banned for saying words I can't say. Rhymes with worn and starts with p. 

I have no idea where you got the idea that you can't say porn, but you can. You can say all the naughty words here, as long as they are not hate speech.

[Eastcoastn]

24 minutes ago, Destiny said:

I have no idea where you got the idea that you can't say porn, but you can. You can say all the naughty words here, as long as they are not hate speech.

Oh good to know! I haven't been on this forum in years and just figured I'd end up banned within a week if I said it. lol!

[Destiny]

4 minutes ago, Eastcoastn said:

Oh good to know! I haven't been on this forum in years and just figured I'd end up banned within a week if I said it. lol!

Nope. Naughty words have been allowed the entire time FJ has existed, other than the ones that are obvious hate speech.

[Black Aliss]

On 8/31/2022 at 10:46 AM, keen23 said:

My friend's Mom married her babysitter, who was 10 years older than her. Total ick. They started "dating" when she was 15, and he was 25, and got married the day after she turned 18. It was always weird when that friend would talk about her parents and how they met. It was the 60's when her parents got together. Doesn't make it any better, but perhaps more acceptable than it is today.

Nope. It was creepy then; it's creepy now. The rule of thumb for not creepy that I learned (back in the 60's) was 1/2 the older person's age, plus 7. So if you are 20, 17 is the youngest you should date. If you are 25, 19.5 is the youngest. If you are 40, then 27. If 50, then 32. . .and so on.

Yes, I did briefly date a 37 YO when I was 22. In hindsight, it was creepy.

Edited September 6, 2022 by Black Aliss

[Black Aliss]

On 9/4/2022 at 12:30 PM, nokidsmom said:

And so I think with the Arndts, any programming about there are no suitable people out there, which is grounded in parent worship, who can't compare to them, tells me that the damage has been done.  Especially for the older manboys who are letting life passing them by already.  That none of them have got a clue that something may be wrong with this picture when / or almost 40 tells me that the programming is very strong indeed.

It's really something, when you think about it, that Rick makes Steve Maxwell look downright permissive in his parenting.

[Jana814]

Someone I went to high school with is married to a guy that is 16 years older then her. I’ve seen a few pictures of him & he looks way older then his actual age. They didn’t get together till she was in her 20’s but it’s still creepy to me. Her parents had a similar age difference her dad passed away a few years ago @ age 94. 

[quiversR4hunting]

4 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Nope. It was creepy then; it's creepy now. The rule of thumb for not creepy that I learned (back in the 60's) was 1/2 the older person's age, plus 7. So if you are 20, 17 is the youngest you should date. If you are 25, 19.5 is the youngest. If you are 40, then 27. If 50, then 32. . .and so on.

Yes, I did briefly date a 37 YO when I was 22. In hindsight, it was creepy.

Using this formula, the youngest I can date is 30.5 years old. Yeah, no thank you!! I think 40 might be too young for me 😂

Plus I would like to be retired close to the same time as my (non-existent) partner.

[gustava]

On 9/5/2022 at 11:35 AM, AmazonGrace said:

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. An old proverb of the jungle.

 

I am a retired teacher.  Seems as if you are saying that the only people who teach are those who can't do anything else.

[AmazonGrace]

Just now, gustava said:

I am a retired teacher.  Seems as if you are saying that the only people who teach are those who can't do anything else.

To clarify, It's not a reference to professional teachers who do an important and difficult job.  I was snarking at the Arndt manboys who have absolutely no idea how to deal with women and think they can give marriage advice.

[Eastcoastn]

Never understood their whole joke about taking towels off of their siblings who got out of the shower (see 6:20 in the Maine attraction video). This is not something that ever happened in my house, and I have brothers... and especially not when the kid is 10 and the brother is in his 20's. So strange. 
 

"there's something about a little brother wrapped in a towel" - really though?? How do they publish this and not realize how it sounds. 

Edit: also, gotta love Mark, 15 years ago: "I cherish this time with the kids because I know it's not too far away that I'll be moved out with a family of my own". 

Edited September 19, 2022 by Eastcoastn

[sleepygirl1]

That is so incredible weird and inappropriate.

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

12 hours ago, Eastcoastn said:

Never understood their whole joke about taking towels off of their siblings who got out of the shower (see 6:20 in the Maine attraction video). This is not something that ever happened in my house, and I have brothers... and especially not when the kid is 10 and the brother is in his 20's. So strange. 
 

"there's something about a little brother wrapped in a towel" - really though?? How do they publish this and not realize how it sounds. 

 

It's very odd and more than a little creepy, and it may also hint at the extent of the pecking order - and the level of bullying - that the kids younger than the golden Oldest Four may have experienced growing up.   

[Howl]

13 hours ago, Eastcoastn said:

Never understood their whole joke about taking towels off of their siblings who got out of the shower. 
"there's something about a little brother wrapped in a towel" - really though?? How do they publish this and not realize how it sounds. 

I am literally unable to process this.  On the other hand, a household of 13 boys...

[quiversR4hunting]

14 hours ago, Eastcoastn said:

Edit: also, gotta love Mark, 15 years ago: "I cherish this time with the kids because I know it's not too far away that I'll be moved out with a family of my own"

Mark is 39 so 15 years ago he was 24. By that time he had an older brother that was 27 (Paul) and 25 (John) who from our view didn't have any serious girlfriends so why would he think he would be married and having kids in the near future.

Also move out. All of you. MOVE. OUT!* get your own lives! Peter and David are the only two that are of college age that may stay want to be home while they study or learn a trade or save some money, the rest should all have skills that allow them to move out on their own and have their own life or at least move in with their favorite sibling. 

*I know, I know there is a house through the trees that some of the boys may (or may not) now live in but that is still a trail away from the mothership. 

[Howl]

Yes, and after seeing the major transformations that happened when the Maxhells left the Stevehovah borg and joined an actual bricks and mortar church, JOIN A DAMN CHURCH, Arndts! There will be single WOMEN there and also single men.

Learn how to make friends with men who are not your brother. You'll witness married couples who are not your mother and father.  You'll witness men and women interacting. 

You will learn how to apply theology from someone who is not your father, and (just possibly) not crippled by neuroses and a belief that he should control the lives of his many sons. 

If you are a closeted gay man, it would be a first baby step towards liberation.