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Bates 29: Marrying Off the Sons


Coconut Flan

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2 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

If any of the grown kids are going to learn from Gil and Kelly Jo's mistakes, it would be Zach and Michaela, who as the oldest two probably sacrificed more than their younger siblings. 

Zach has been vocal about his parents mistakes. He and Josie are the ones who have, slightly but clearly, said Bates weren't perfect and they didn't like some things their parents did. Of course those were little things, secondary comments or jokes, but implied they had their own thoughts. I have the feeling that Zach, despite being the firstborn and male, has never been Gil&Kelly's favourite and that marrying a jeans-wearing-waitress and becoming a policeman was a bit of rebellion. 

Michaela was Kelly's slave but she was told she was mama's best friend, so I think there is some Estocolm syndrome there. I think Michaela is unable to critizise her parents, even in her head, because she really believes Bates way is God's way, so critizising parents would be like critisize God.

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On 4/12/2021 at 6:04 PM, DalmatianCat said:

I wonder how much time filming actually takes. I know in the scripted tv world you shoot about one episode a week, so on a standard 22 episode season actors only work on a show for about 22 weeks. How long does it take to film episodes in the reality tv world? I did notice that Bates have much longer seasons than the Duggars do.

Based off one of Carlin’s Insta stories around a month ago it seems like most of the interviews are all done over 1-2 days. 

Standard scripted shows are filmed over 8 days.  There is also the extra time for costuming and such.  Normally they start in July and finish in March.  Each reality half hour episode takes about three days plus time for the talking heads.  

Edited by Coconut Flan
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Not much to recap in last night facebook live. It was again Lawson and Tiffany, this time they are at Whitney and Zach house, and Bradley and Kaci are in the couch with them. Tiffany says she never watched Bringing up Bates before meeting Lawson, had no idea what it was. I have to say that they do seem pretty comfortable with each other. I did get a completely different impression than watching the short videos on isntagram. First episode Tiff will be in is the "I love you day" party 2021.

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Thanks @Lgirlrocks  It will be interesting to see which Bates love interests attend Big Sandy with them. Tiffany? Esther? Travis?

Jim Bob and Michelle are also speaking, as always.

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How did I miss that Josie, Tori and Whitney are all due in June?  Whoa.  For some reason I thought that Josie was later and I keep forgetting that Tori didn't already have the baby.  Lol. 

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28 minutes ago, JMO said:

How did I miss that Josie, Tori and Whitney are all due in June?  Whoa.  For some reason I thought that Josie was later and I keep forgetting that Tori didn't already have the baby.  Lol. 

Tori did have a baby, she's just having another one now?

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I think I have officially given up keeping track of Bates and Duggar offspring pregnancies and births.  Keeping up with who is married is getting tough enough.  I guess it's so does it really matter if they three, four, six, or eight kids? 

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17 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

I think I have officially given up keeping track of Bates and Duggar offspring pregnancies and births.  Keeping up with who is married is getting tough enough.  I guess it's so does it really matter if they three, four, six, or eight kids? 

I can keep up with how many kids each one has, but don’t ask me to recite ages or names. I won’t remember all of them. 

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Has someone been able to watch last episode? in the facebook live nothing really off interest, it was Lawson and Nathan and they were in Arkansas doing some Mediccorps training. They did mention though that in the episode one of the storylines is Nathan telling the family about Esther, so i am curious about that.

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Nathan asked when the Christmas party was going to be because he wanted to bring Esther to introduce her. I can't believe this was the first time they'd met her. 

Edited by marmalade
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2 minutes ago, marmalade said:

Nathan asked when the Christmas party was going to be because he wanted to bring Esther to introduce her. I can't believe this was the first time they'd met her. 

I think that part was staged for the show. Didn’t Esther spend Thanksgiving with them in Florida at Alyssa’s house? I’m pretty sure we caught her on an ig story that day. 

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10 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

I think that part was staged for the show. Didn’t Esther spend Thanksgiving with them in Florida at Alyssa’s house? I’m pretty sure we caught her on an ig story that day. 

Exactly why I said I doubted the storyline about introducing Esther to everyone at Christmas. They had been together for several months at that point.

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11 hours ago, llucie said:

Arkansas doing some Mediccorps training.

Didn't someone post somewhere that it looked like this was disbanded? Could be in a Duggar thread. 

I think, if the collective "we" cares, spreadsheets might be the answer to keeping up. I however, will still rely on those if you with more knowledge of the families to keep me up to date.

In the live did anyone have the courage tto i ask Lawson and Nathan why they get so much more freedom in their relationships and why the dounble standard for them and their sisters? Or how they support themselves? I kid, I kid, of course no leg humper is going to ask...unfortunately.  

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55 minutes ago, WiseGirl said:

In the live did anyone have the courage tto i ask Lawson and Nathan why they get so much more freedom in their relationships and why the dounble standard for them and their sisters? Or how they support themselves? I kid, I kid, of course no leg humper is going to ask...unfortunately

It's an interesting question. Once they would answer that, I would ask them why their sisters couldn't be trusted, while their girlfriends are. I mean, if Erin needed a chaperone, why Esther doesn't? If Erin had to be protected, why not Esther? Why couldn't Erin kiss Chad, but Esther can be touched near her private parts?!!! From a fundie perspective, it may be seen as irrespectful for their girlfriends and their families.

Bates sons could be rejecting their parents purity ideas, and that would be good. But I think they are only taking advantadge of being a male and when they will have their own daughters, they will expect 100% purity . 

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6 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Bates sons could be rejecting their parents purity ideas, and that would be good. But I think they are only taking advantadge of being a male and when they will have their own daughters, they will expect 100% purity . 

I don't know that Lawson, in particular, is rejecting the purity standards of the fundies. He's simply doing a lot of mental gymnastics because he thinks he is above it. Probably makes him a better example of fundy life - do as I say not as I do. 

Nathan is an odd one. I think that in many ways he is still that lisping wanna be preacher he was in his teens and early 20s. He wants to be the shining example. At the same time, I think that the rejection by Ashley hit him hard and like Zach he's going to be the pleaser in the situation. He's going to do whatever he has to do and thinks he should do to keep Esther on the line and happy. He doesn't want the pain or embarrassment of another rejection. 

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There is also a big gap between what is shown on the show and reality. John and Alyssa just said in a YouTube that they kissed before marriage -- "loads!" Carlin admitted on IG stores that Evan wasn't her first boyfriend. So while the girls might be more strictly chaperoned, those two managed to get in more experience than they're admitting to on television.

That said, the hypocrisy and double standards for boys vs girls is stunning. Michaela lived at home until marriage, while Nathan hasn't lived at home for a long time (even if it's still his mailing address, his flight instructor jobs are in Mississippi, I think) and Lawson is clearly free to spend most of his life traveling on his own.

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So Carlin is doing a Q&A on her Instagram right now and was asked how many Bates weddings does she think are happening this year. She said “I’m guessing 2...we shall see! ??” So it seems that at least Nathan or Lawson plan on getting married this year along with Katie. 

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17 minutes ago, Jigsaw3 said:

There is also a big gap between what is shown on the show and reality. John and Alyssa just said in a YouTube that they kissed before marriage -- "loads!" Carlin admitted on IG stores that Evan wasn't her first boyfriend. So while the girls might be more strictly chaperoned, those two managed to get in more experience than they're admitting to on television.

 

John and Alyssa were not shown on television during their courtship or engagement other than the news magazine report. They met around the time the show United Bates of America was airing in 2012. So we really didn't see what their courtship was like at all or if there would have been indications that they kissed. 

Carlin's been milking that past boyfriend story for a while. They did one video where they teased telling who the ex was and then didn't do it. People have assumed it was a Duggar. 

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1 hour ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

John and Alyssa were not shown on television during their courtship or engagement other than the news magazine report. They met around the time the show United Bates of America was airing in 2012. So we really didn't see what their courtship was like at all or if there would have been indications that they kissed. 

They weren't on TV but Kelly posted about their courtship in the blog. They were always chaperones and weren't allowed private texting. A sibling received John's messages and forwarded to Alyssa. They were (apparently) supervised to a freak level.

I don't doubt they managed to kiss, but I can tell you Kelly and Gil were pissed for sure. They were absolutely against kissing before mariage.

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I also want to say that Gil and Kelly are also liars. Do they could have found out about some kissing and lied by omission. 

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55 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

I don't doubt they managed to kiss, but I can tell you Kelly and Gil were pissed for sure. They were absolutely against kissing before mariage.

It's petty of me, but it makes me really happy to think of Kelly and Gil being unhappy for such a stupid reason.  

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58 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

They weren't on TV but Kelly posted about their courtship in the blog. They were always chaperones and weren't allowed private texting. A sibling received John's messages and forwarded to Alyssa. They were (apparently) supervised to a freak level.

I don't doubt they managed to kiss, but I can tell you Kelly and Gil were pissed for sure. They were absolutely against kissing before mariage.

You could tell by what John and also Alyssa said in the video that Gil was not happy that it happened. Based on the words Zach and Whitney chose, I don't doubt that Gil and Kelly Jo laid quite a guilt trip on them. They had to "confess" to the bridal party? WTH? Seems over the top to me. 

I only mentioned that they weren't on television for the courtship because the previous poster was talking the gap between reality and television. Yes, Kelly Jo blogged about the courtship, but she is hardly and unbiased observer in her children's lives. She is always going to spin things a certain way to make their parenting look better. 

I went back and watched the Nightline episode (part about the wedding). Gil and Kelly Jo infer that the couple has not kissed, but John and Alyssa don't say that outright. So far in my memory the only ones that have said they waited to kiss were Erin and Chad (on the Duggars' show) and Michaela and Brandon. Tori made a comment that it was her first kiss and she told Bobby how she wanted it to go. However, I would assume based on that comment that it wasn't Bobby's first. 

 

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I just want them all to ditch that "1st kiss" crap. All that pressure on their younger siblings who were probably babies when this tradition started. Gil & Kelly both kissed before marriage and the devil didn't leave hell to search for them.

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