Bates 29: Marrying Off the Sons

[lumpentheologie]

9 hours ago, indianabones said:

Poor Addee. And poor other Bates children who aren't "rare blessings" like she is.

Poor poor Addee. Her parents are raising her to feel like she must be perfect or she's unworthy of love. She's learning to ignore her own needs, and she probably won't be able to articulate what she needs in any future relationship. Never complaining and being grateful no matter how bad things get are qualities that set kids up to be passive victims of abuse. She should be learning to stand up for herself, express her boundaries, and negotiate conflicts in relationships. Instead she's being trained to be a doormat who's likely to work herself to the bone. So basically what's expected of a fundie wife. And this is for sure a reprimand to other children who might not be as much like that. There's also nothing about her interests or really anything besides a list of fundie virtues. So sad and toxic. 

[justmy2cents]

That message about Addee is almost identical to a post Kelly made (may have been on her blog) about Katie around the same age. About how selfless she was and always eager to lend a hand and offering to stay behind and watch the kids when needed. At the time I thought poor Katie. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

2 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

That message about Addee is almost identical to a post Kelly made (may have been on her blog) about Katie around the same age. About how selfless she was and always eager to lend a hand and offering to stay behind and watch the kids when needed. At the time I thought poor Katie. 

And that does not seem to be Katie's personality now. Maybe Kelly's full of it. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

That message about Addee is almost identical to a post Kelly made (may have been on her blog) about Katie around the same age. About how selfless she was and always eager to lend a hand and offering to stay behind and watch the kids when needed. At the time I thought poor Katie. 

I think fundies only praise what they value. Obviously Kelly values a servant. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Kelly is definitely full of it.

We're talking about hate, right? /s

[Johannah]

Loving everyone without partiality is supposed to be a good thing??

[Melissa1977]

I was reading the post and thinking that Kelly is starting to advertise Addallee. Her planning:

1 year to get to know families with sons aged 16-20 (too old? No. Remember Kelton and John). Gil and Kelly talk about fasting. They don't finally fast. Suddently, Addallee notices that mom and dad talk a lot to her. The conversation is about God sending courtship messages.

She celebrates sweet sixteen. New post about how submissive she is. No braces. Tight dress. Make up.

By 17 she'll be engaged.

Married at 18.

Mother at 19.

I PRAY to be wrong!

[Lgirlrocks]

I don’t know that they will let her marry that young. They made a few of their daughters wait. She hasn’t started college, that we know of, and if Katie gets married soon they may need her at home longer. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

their latest superspreader event was yesterday, right? do we usually get "i love you day" pics within a few days? i forget....i feel like usually Carlin or one of them will post or story on instagram.....but radio silence so far this year, i wonder if they're hiding something. 

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, ihaveanexamintwodays said:

their latest superspreader event was yesterday, right? do we usually get "i love you day" pics within a few days? i forget....i feel like usually Carlin or one of them will post or story on instagram.....but radio silence so far this year, i wonder if they're hiding something. 

Gotta wait for Taryn to photoshop more of that blur into the photos. 

[freethemall]

On 2/20/2021 at 11:32 AM, justmy2cents said:

That message about Addee is almost identical to a post Kelly made (may have been on her blog) about Katie around the same age. About how selfless she was and always eager to lend a hand and offering to stay behind and watch the kids when needed. At the time I thought poor Katie. 

It's identical to every post she makes about every daughter, the "she always helps out without being asked" and "she never complains" feels like a script at this point. 

I looked at a few recent ones:

Jan 23 Michael: "There's always...that one person who does everything for everybody at the drop of a hat. There's that one person that never complains, that never asks for anything for themselves. You've been that sensitive, caring, always-volunteering person for all of us!"

Dec 20 Tori: "I'm not exaggerating to say that I cant ever remember you complaining....you've always wanted to please people."

Oct 5 Katie: "I remember how quiet and content you were! You always wanted to please."

Aug 5 Josie: "From the time you were a newborn until even now, you've always been on the quieter side, and always so content...you never complain. You were so easy as a child, and even as a teen! You never asked for anything, even for a birthday or any other occasion.

Apr 28 Ellie: "You're more concerned about other people's happiness than your own, and that's a very selfless quality!"

And for extra repetition, Addie's post from one year ago:

Feb 17 Addie: "You'll do anything for anybody, and always without complaint! You always put others first...You wont ever name anything you want for yourself, but instead you give everything you have away!"

So out of 7 birthday posts, including Addie's newest one:

- 5/7 mention not complaining 

- 4/7 mention not asking for anything

- 4/7 mention pleasing people/putting others needs before your own

- pretty much all mention doing things for other people without being asked, dropping everything, being a blessing, etc

I'll give it to Kelly for finding different ways to say the exact same thing, but it's a wonder she hasn't figured out the girls dont "complain" (meaning, articulate their needs) or ask for anything because she so incessantly reminds them this is not a redeeming quality.

Edited February 22, 2021 by freethemall

[Melissa1977]

@freethemall thank you so much for the recap. It's shocking how the messages are identical! There is also a message for Jeb? Judson? that says he was so quiet as a toddler, playing alone for long periods of time. 

Well yes, Kelly. Obviously after an Ezzo baby training, beatings and zero one-to-one time with the child, that child will rarely complain. Not a surprise. But it is also obvious that some of those un-complaining children have changed a lot as adults. Tori and Katie DO complain a lot, and I wouldn't say they want to please, generally speaking. So maybe it was not a personality trait, but were scared to ask for something or to complain.

[Italiangirl]

I feel that the other years we get the "I love you" party photos almost on a live time, that this year nothing has been posted makes me think that something has happened maybe an engagement? But then why waiting to post altogether? They could have posted a few pictures here and there and say something like "more later". Maybe they are waiting for an article on mags to come out? 

[AussieKrissy]

Apparently (according to Josie’s ig) that she apparently “forgot” to post. This years “I love you day” was zoo themed. The balkas went As kangaroos. As an aussie I was like get my emblem off!!! Lol 

[rebeccawriter01]

2 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Apparently (according to Josie’s ig) that she apparently “forgot” to post. This years “I love you day” was zoo themed. The balkas went As kangaroos. As an aussie I was like get my emblem off!!! Lol 

Carlin has video in her instastory. Dawson's girlfriend is sitting alone and bored. Looked like Zach? was supposed to be Tiger King. The Stewart's costumes were Lion King. Nathan and his g were sharing a chair with Callie looking on. 

They were at the house filming so maybe they took note that people were commenting on the extravagant nature these events were taking. 

[SorenaJ]

A furry theme. 
 

Now I’ve seen everything. 

[Audrey2]

 Please let Lawson have chosen to be a Broney!

[AussieKrissy]

Just now, Audrey2 said:

 Please let Lawson have chosen to be a Broney!

What’s a Broney?

[Audrey2]

4 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

What’s a Broney?

 A Broney is an adult male who is really into My Little Pony. There used to be a convention where they would dress up as characters from My Little Pony.

 My sister grew up in the 80s and used to watch My Little Pony when she was a child. It was geared to Children, especially little girls.

 

Edited February 23, 2021 by Audrey2

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, Audrey2 said:

 Please let Lawson have chosen to be a Broney!

Apparently Lawson and Tiffany won the costume contest. 

[Italiangirl]

Tiffany was a bee and I think Lawson was a ?, the only plus is that I haven't had to see his smug face for once. From the pictures I saw around it doesn't seem that Tiffany was having so much fun. Maybe the chaos was too much for her? It would have been different in Colorado where they were outside most of the day and altogether just at the end of the ski day, she could have always take a break and go to her room or so when at the party she was probably stuck with the entire family always around

[ophelia]

I just saw a quick glimpse of the party on one of the instaaccounts, but it appeared to me that Tori didn't wear a costume. Does that might have something to do with her and Bobby being more pious than the rest of the couples?

[Italiangirl]

Neither Michaela and hubby wear one, I think that at some point many took off their costume or something if you see Carlin instastories. Many seems bored (Katie, Tiffany, Bobby, I didn't saw Tori well but she doesn't seems so excited, I would say that also Travis doesn't seems to enjoy it too much but a little but better than the others)

[CarrotCake]

I always think it is so weird that they dress up completely and then ditch the outfits ASAP.

Same with Erin with her huge mid evil cinderella dress that she maybe wore for one hour.

Or even weirder: Joy Duggar getting out of her wedding dress at the reception before they left to get home.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

1 hour ago, ophelia said:

I just saw a quick glimpse of the party on one of the instaaccounts, but it appeared to me that Tori didn't wear a costume. Does that might have something to do with her and Bobby being more pious than the rest of the couples?

She has two children under three and and is half through a third pregnancy. If she didn't dress up, it's probably because it's too much bother and they're less into pageantry of being a Bates. My guess is it's less about religion and more about convenience/time.  (My memory is Bobby also has a real job so factor that in, too.)