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Bontrager/Bowers 8: Cringeworthy


samurai_sarah

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48 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I understand needing to hunt the coyotes on your property so they don’t kill your livestock and pet. But I swear he only told that story so he can brag about how manly he and his sons are. 

Definitely. I can see how whatever activities, including hunting, a parent does with a child can make memories. But those seemed to be his only recent anecdotes about Denver.

The whole thing sounded like "He was a cute kid, here are some adorable pictures and some anecdotes from when he was little, and recently we've been enjoying killing things together, as men do, and I will tell a story that is mostly about me killing something."

And was it really necessary to show the pictures at a wedding?

ETA: I mean, there they are, all dressed up and in church. Shown above this tableau:

 

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This is adorable:

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This might be, if not for the creepy story that goes with it (the many performances they gave with the propaganda about "persecution coming to America" and then acting it out with Dad being taken off in handcuffs):

 

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This, not so much (warning - pictures of dead things):

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Edited by thoughtful
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Man, that's A LOT of unmasked people sitting close together inside that church. Gross.

Also a random unrelated thought- with the recent Time article on Elliot Page's transgender story I sometimes think about that show he did where he met the Bontragers and am not sure he was out yet and they spewed their homophobic crap. I wonder if they ever see and hear about Elliot's journey and what they think about it, if they even remember him and if they'd be surprised.

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I watched the wedding up until pa told the story of the butt warming, his words not mine. Why would you ever tell that story. She seemed so chill about it. Praise and Denver just wanted to be alone. They seemed to happy and natural together. 

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I really liked the color of the bridesmaids dresses and the flowers. The dresses and the gray of the suits did go well together. The couple seems giddy and couldn’t wait for the ordeal to be over.

The dads though seem creepy and I don’t wanna know how controlling they are behind closed doors. I think this applies to a lot of families we discuss here.

Timeline of the relationship: What I gather from Allisons insta, her wedding website and the website of Denver and Praise it seems like Allison and Praise were friends for some years, Allison and Jeremiah met, fell in love and Praise went to visit the Bontragers on several occasions along with Jeremiah where Denver and Praise got to know each other.

Edited by Smash!
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7 hours ago, freethemall said:

Man, that's A LOT of unmasked people sitting close together inside that church. Gross.

Also a random unrelated thought- with the recent Time article on Elliot Page's transgender story I sometimes think about that show he did where he met the Bontragers and am not sure he was out yet and they spewed their homophobic crap. I wonder if they ever see and hear about Elliot's journey and what they think about it, if they even remember him and if they'd be surprised.

Elliot Page was at time not transgender, but a lesbian. 

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8 hours ago, Jigsaw3 said:

Did anyone spot Chelsy and John in the congregation? Was Axton one of the flower children?

John was an usher. He was also an usher at Mitch and Bryn’s wedding. Chelsy was sitting near the front with Axton on her lap. Elliot was sitting next to her and being held by an older relative. I imagine since Elliot has the same first name as Denver’s middle name, they are probably somewhat close. But he’s quite a bit younger than Chelsy. She seemed closest to her similar aged siblings Mitch and Allison. The children in the wedding looked to be a bunch of the nieces and nephews on the Helferich side. All the Bontrager nieces and nephews are probably too young for that. 

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2 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Elliot Page was at time not transgender, but a lesbian. 

Yes, I know. What I mean is, are they aware of his journey from them to now. I wasn't sure if in describing the past show if I should say he or she since at the time Elliot presented and publicly identified as a woman, but based on the recent Time article he has actually seen himself as a Male since childhood.

And of course, even more perfect that Elliot is a name shared both by the actor, Chelsys kid, and Denvers middle name.

Edited by freethemall
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11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I understand needing to hunt the coyotes on your property so they don’t kill your livestock and pet. But I swear he only told that story so he can brag about how manly he and his sons are. 

Exactly. The entire point of that little picture show & accompanying rambling from Marlin was to say MY SON IS A REAL, MANLY MAN. 

I was out to dinner with my sister last night and we kind of were talking about "manly men" - and what we see as "real men". A man with a job who takes care of his family. Who is educated enough in something to make a living at it; one he chose. Not having things handed to him. Not following anyone's script. 

I wonder about these manly Bontrager men, all working for the family. The farm, the motel...they're boys who were given jobs to support the babies they need to make, not manly men who have gone out into the world and made something of themselves & their families. 

There are other fundie families doing the same - the Duggar shit show comes to mind. 

How is your son a manly man when he grows up knowing daddy will provide a job for him (no doubt only if he toes the line) and he doesn't have to actually work for it - he just has to play along, find a bride, get married then get that "job", on daddy's payroll. 

 

Edited by fundiefan
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6 hours ago, Smash! said:

 

Timeline of the relationship: What I gather from Allisons insta, her wedding website and the website of Denver and Praise it seems like Allison and Praise were friends for some years, Allison and Jeremiah met, Were told they are in love and Praise went to visit the Bontragers on several occasions along with Jeremiah where Denver and Praise got to know each other.

Fixed that for you

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I assumed that it would feel as awkward as Allison's, but despite the fathers endless ranting, you could tell that Marlin was emotional about his son marrying and had all these great memories of Denver, and even Praise's dad made a nice comment that the couple was ready to get married. And you could definitely see Praise and Denver staring at each other, chatting and smiling, while ignoring their fathers. 

It all just made me pity Allison a bit. Even if she is happy with her choice, you know she wanted a wedding atmosphere that was more like Denver's and Chelsy's.

(And she looked like a very normal pregnant woman, so the mystery continues as to why she hasn't posted 'bump' photos, but I'm starting to think her husband's family is not supportive of social media.  Father Helferich definitely rules with an iron fist.  I'm beginning to wonder if Allison will be told to shut down her blog after the baby is born.)

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, hollyandivy said:

Fixed that for you

I don't think Denver and Praise are an arranged couple. It may have started that way (parents encouraging the relationship), but they like each other very much. I was quite impressed, he looked so in love and she looked thrilled (and she seems to be a funny person). I don't know how to write this, but... I think both were looking forward the wedding night...

Allison and Joshua are the 2 siblings that I think have been clearly arranged. Chelsy and Denver clearly not. 

 

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I thought it was hilarious that Josh kept being blocked by pa helferich. They were standing too close together and if Josh turned they easily could have had a moon landing :)

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1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

I don't think Denver and Praise are an arranged couple.

 

I don't think so either but Allison and Jeremiah are

 

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57 minutes ago, hollyandivy said:

I don't think so either but Allison and Jeremiah are

 

I’m not convinced of that.  I think Jeremiah looked really uncomfortable at his wedding, but I interpreted that as him being uncomfortable as the center of attention, not with the marriage.  He strikes me as a generally reserved person, but I still thought their body language at the wedding indicated attraction and interest, it was just more subtle than what Denver and Praise demonstrated.  I didn’t see Chelsey’s wedding.

There seems to be consensus here that Alison is miserable in her marriage, but I just don’t see it.  I think she’s mostly lost interest in social media and blogging, but still feels like she has to put out some content for her long time readers, she just might not want to share much that’s personal with the public  anymore.  She must know that there are strangers snarking on everything she posts.  Maybe she feels too protective of her new marriage and husband to subject them to that level of scrutiny.   We only see the public side of her Instagram, she may be posting additional content and sharing it with a restricted audience.

I really haven’t seen anything she’s posted that makes me think she’s unhappy, assuming that based on what she hasn’t posted really feels like a stretch.

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17 hours ago, Jigsaw3 said:

Did anyone spot Chelsy and John in the congregation? Was Axton one of the flower children? I do find it really intriguing that of all the siblings Chelsy was the only one not in the wedding party. It could be that she and Denver aren't close, but I never got that impression; maybe she and Praise don't know each other that well? The most likely scenario is that Chelsy declined to participate, as she has two small children and a long drive either way.

I don't know the Bowers/Bontrager/Helferich crowd well enough to know - do the married/mom sisters get to BE bridesmaids? There was a time in the Smith/Morton history when once a young woman married and started having babies, she was not a bridesmaid again; that job was reserved for younger, unmarried sisters and friends. Not sure if that's how this crowd rolls.

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41 minutes ago, Bethy said:

I don't know the Bowers/Bontrager/Helferich crowd well enough to know - do the married/mom sisters get to BE bridesmaids? There was a time in the Smith/Morton history when once a young woman married and started having babies, she was not a bridesmaid again; that job was reserved for younger, unmarried sisters and friends. Not sure if that's how this crowd rolls.

Yes married women were bridesmaids at Allison's, Chelsy's and Praise's weddings. Not sure about the first two weddings, but it's possible the Bowers sisters/Bryn didn't have any married friends and they got married before Chelsy. 

Edited by Bluebirdbluebell
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I’m thinking Chelsy doesn’t interact that much with the Helferich sisters. She lives far away and probably only met them at family camp and weddings. It makes sense she wouldn’t be in the wedding if she doesn’t know Praise well.

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Speaking of fundie siblings marrying other fundie siblings. I can add another set to the list! A fundie girl named Rebecca Tate posted on social media that she is now engaged to a man named Enos Schrock. I’m gonna go ahead and assume he’s the brother of the Andrew Schrock her sister Hannah married. I only know of the Schrocks because Elizabeth Schrock married Gabe Pearl. So two Tate sisters will be married to two Schrock brothers. 

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10 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Speaking of fundie siblings marrying other fundie siblings. I can add another set to the list! A fundie girl named Rebecca Tate posted on social media that she is now engaged to a man named Enos Schrock. I’m gonna go ahead and assume he’s the brother of the Andrew Schrock her sister Hannah married. I only know of the Schrocks because Elizabeth Schrock married Gabe Pearl. So two Tate sisters will be married to two Schrock brothers. 

Aren't the Schrocks Amish? Marlin and Becky are ex-Amish. Interesting!

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12 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Aren't the Schrocks Amish? Marlin and Becky are ex-Amish. Interesting!

Yes, the Schrocks are ex-Amish and I do believe they know the Bontragers. 

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3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Aren't the Schrocks Amish? Marlin and Becky are ex-Amish. Interesting!

The Bontragers are ex-Mennonite.

Edited by CaptainFunderpants
Clarity.
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16 minutes ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

The Bontragers are ex-Mennonite.

In the recent wedding, Marlin said he and Becky were Amish growing up and Denver was their only child that wanted to be Amish. 

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43 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

In the recent wedding, Marlin said he and Becky were Amish growing up and Denver was their only child that wanted to be Amish. 

 

1 hour ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

The Bontragers are ex-Mennonite.

Marlin clearly said that both sides of Denver's family were Amish at the wedding. 

But Chelsey has referred to her mother's family as Mennonite (post on ChelsyRenee blog about sewing her wedding dress:  "back when she was a teenager/mennonite she sewed her entire wardrobe of cape dresses, including her wedding dress!") 

In another wedding post, Chelsy said her family was related to half the local Amish of their community though. 

I'm guessing that the Bonts parents were raised in the "Amish Mennonite" Church (technically Mennonite, but with many Anabaptist traditions similar to the Amish), and there is such a church/community in their town of Kalona, Iowa (Sharon Bethel Amish Mennonite Church - for obvious reasons there is no website.) It's equally possible that Marlin was raised Amish, and Becky was Amish-Mennonite, or another Mennonite branch that favor conservative Anabaptist dress. Becky's parents are pictured on the Bont's website. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_Mennonite

Edited by MomJeans
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2 hours ago, MomJeans said:

 

Marlin clearly said that both sides of Denver's family were Amish at the wedding. 

But Chelsey has referred to her mother's family as Mennonite (post on ChelsyRenee blog about sewing her wedding dress:  "back when she was a teenager/mennonite she sewed her entire wardrobe of cape dresses, including her wedding dress!") 

In another wedding post, Chelsy said her family was related to half the local Amish of their community though. 

I'm guessing that the Bonts parents were raised in the "Amish Mennonite" Church (technically Mennonite, but with many Anabaptist traditions similar to the Amish), and there is such a church/community in their town of Kalona, Iowa (Sharon Bethel Amish Mennonite Church - for obvious reasons there is no website.) It's equally possible that Marlin was raised Amish, and Becky was Amish-Mennonite, or another Mennonite branch that favor conservative Anabaptist dress. Becky's parents are pictured on the Bont's website. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_Mennonite

 

I’m from Iowa and grew up near an Amish community (not Kalona where the Bontragers are)...I know of a lot of families who transitioned from Amish and then eventually (same or future generations) to Mennonite and so on. It could have been a progressive step-down that Marlin and Becky’s families did. 
 

 

 

 

1 minute ago, InsufficientFundies said:

Sorry for the double post-I’m an infrequent commenter here  ?

I’m from Iowa and grew up near an Amish community (not Kalona where the Bontragers are)...I know of a lot of families who transitioned from Amish and then eventually (same or future generations) to Mennonite and so on. It could have been a progressive step-down that Marlin and Becky’s families did. 

 

2 hours ago, MomJeans said:

 

Marlin clearly said that both sides of Denver's family were Amish at the wedding. 

But Chelsey has referred to her mother's family as Mennonite (post on ChelsyRenee blog about sewing her wedding dress:  "back when she was a teenager/mennonite she sewed her entire wardrobe of cape dresses, including her wedding dress!") 

In another wedding post, Chelsy said her family was related to half the local Amish of their community though. 

I'm guessing that the Bonts parents were raised in the "Amish Mennonite" Church (technically Mennonite, but with many Anabaptist traditions similar to the Amish), and there is such a church/community in their town of Kalona, Iowa (Sharon Bethel Amish Mennonite Church - for obvious reasons there is no website.) It's equally possible that Marlin was raised Amish, and Becky was Amish-Mennonite, or another Mennonite branch that favor conservative Anabaptist dress. Becky's parents are pictured on the Bont's website. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_Mennonite

 

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