Bontrager/Bowers 8: Cringeworthy

[Triplet3]

In retrospect, I think Marlin's speech was actually *slightly* more reasonable and normal than usual. For a start he didn't do the thing he did at all the other Bontrager weddings where he made Hudson come up to the front and talked about how Hudson has been praying for a 'godly little wife' since he was five.

Edited March 20, 2021 by Triplet3

[Nothing if not critical]

1 minute ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

 

I can replay the wedding, so I'm trying to send you the link.

That's super nice, thank you, but all I can see is this screen, with no way to replay the wedding (unless I'm too stupid to see it?):

 

[becky_m2001]

10 minutes ago, Nothing if not critical said:

I tried, but it has a different service announced now. Oh well. It's not like I missed much, I guess...

It's on the Marion Avenue Baptist Church facebook page for anyone who missed it and would like to see it.

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, Triplet3 said:

In retrospect, I think Marlin's speech was actually *slightly* more reasonable and normal than usual. For a start he didn't do the thing he did at all the other Bontrager weddings where he made Hudson come up to the front and talked about how Hudson has been praying for a 'godly little wife' since he was five.

Oh yes, I forgot about that. He always says that. And he didn’t have Steve’s  vasectomy to talk about either. I’m so glad for that.

Edited March 20, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I can't find it on the archives, but it probably will be available soon. You try checking the church's facebook page. 

It is nice that Denver and Praise seem so in-love. It's a real contrast to Jeremiah and Allison. 

Speaking of Allison, she looks really skinny for a woman who's at least 6 months pregnant. 6 months would put her at June before first day of summer. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

In my experience, the first pregnancy is often the smallest bump. The pregnancies after the first are a little bigger. It could be due to the abdominal muscles. 

[Lgirlrocks]

I would be mortified if my mom talked about one of my spankings in adult life including my wedding. At some point all children get in trouble and punished or told what they should have done right. Why bring it up? Could he not think of a better story? Perhaps a time when she did something to help out without be asked? 

[Sops2]

The wedding is on the church facebook page now

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.facebook.com/marionavenuebaptist/&ved=2ahUKEwjFlMDu47_vAhVDWxUIHYpUAhsQFnoECAYQAg&usg=AOvVaw0Mbrdxh_9HcPPwOw66RGwD

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I would be mortified if my mom talked about one of my spankings in adult life including my wedding. At some point all children get in trouble and punished or told what they should have done right. Why bring it up? Could he not think of a better story? Perhaps a time when she did something to help out without be asked? 

And the fact that she never brushed the back of her hair. I’m not against funny embarrassing childhood stories. But they are not for wedding ceremonies.

[Smash!]

1 hour ago, Nothing if not critical said:

That's super nice, thank you, but all I can see is this screen, with no way to replay the wedding (unless I'm too stupid to see it?):

This one should work without giving facebook clicks  

I missed the livestream as well, had a lovely dinner with bf by the fire. Thanks for the recaps! I was glad I missed it as soon as I read the spanking anecdote ?? Now I watch just the first few minutes and on mute because I wanna see the dresses ?

[JermajestyDuggar]

My favorite part of the wedding:

Denver kept talking to Praise while both his father in law and father were blathering on and on. He wasn’t listening at all. 

[anjulibai]

The sad part about all this blathering on about random crap at weddings is that the Bible has a lot of beautiful things to say about love and marriage. I've been to weddings that were religious and quoted extensively from the Bible, and they were all lovely because they were about, you know, love and creating a lasting relationship. Not a ton of crap about genders and submission or how to get to heaven or current events. Just love. 

Why can't fundies have weddings like that?

[CaptainFunderpants]

You're the best @Smash!!!

It's so refreshing to see a fundie couple that actually has chemistry and likes each other and is seemingly really excited about that whole life together thing. Denver seems wholly smitten, which I don't feel like we often see.

I have so many questions and hope he encourages Praise to start a blog. We know so little about the Helferichs and it would give us an idea as to how they were as it came to educating their kids. I'm really curious to see where Praise goes in terms of modesty. The Helferichs seem pretty darn strict, while the Bontragers seem more pragmatic. I also want to read about his equivalent of John's excitement regarding Chelsey wearing leggings ? 

I still think that Denver and Praise were the OG couple, and then Allison and Jeremiah was just the parents going "Oh, you're both of marriage age. You two are now gonna get married. Perfect!" I mean, I guess it's an improvement that only one of the couples was shanghai'd into it, opposed to the Bowers double wedding.

All that said: the lack of masks. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear the lack of masks. I just went to pick up food from the food court at our local mall, and I figured it wouldn't be that bad; support a local business, pick it up, masks on the whole time... Mask-less people. Mask-less people walking around holding a beverage EVERYWHERE. They've eased the restrictions way too soon in these parts, which is particularly sad because we've had good restrictions in place for a full year, and realistically they could safely be rolled back in couple of months, but for some reason the governor just has to push it. He literally said "oh, there's space in ICUs now, let's open up!" ??‍♀️ 

[maple802]

3 hours ago, Triplet3 said:

I also find it very strange for a Christian wedding not to have any congregational hymns. Is that normal in the US or is it just a fundie thing? Or is it odd even for a fundie Baptist wedding? I think I remember the Bontrager double wedding having one hymn, maybe, but even that doesn't seem like much.

Agree that it is odd. I'm an ebil Catholic, so there was plenty of singing at our wedding (full Mass). I've also attended weddings in other Christian denominations and there was at least 1 congregational hymn. I seem to recall other fundies having congregational hymns at their weddings; didn't Pecan direct the singing at his and Pris's wedding?

[Sops2]

When Denver said his vows to Praise he used the words"falling in love with her"  and " loving her forever"

There was such a display of affection between them, and they obviously share a sense of humour and a sense of fun, and both looked as if they couldn't wait for the honeymoon to start.

Allison would have loved this adoration that Denver showed his bride, but she has a less demonstrative husband.

I did however see Allison's youngest sister sidle closer to him during the service to say something in his ear.I hope it was funny and I hope it shows Jeremiah to have a sense of humour.

 

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

John and Chelsy had very obvious and strong chemistry at their wedding. 
 

Denver and Praise had very strong chemistry at the wedding.

Unfortunately Allison and Jeremiah didn’t have that same chemistry and it makes me sad. I hope they are a good match for their sake.

[postscript]

Skipped through the video to avoid the daddies yapping. The couple themselves looked sweet, and I didn’t find the vows overly offensive. I touched down briefly during Pa Helferich’s blather and caught Denver and Praise mouthing “I love you” at each other. While I hate the thought that in a year, she’ll probably have the first of many children, they seem like a good match and I wish them well.

Random observations: 

The singing, ugh, the singing. My ears may never recover. 

I liked the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses. From what I could see, I generally liked the dresses (reserving the right to change my mind when we get some better pictures), and they didn’t immediately scream “modest!”

Five flower girls and five ring bearers? Not every small child in your family needs to be in every wedding. Bad enough the bridesmaids/groomsmen invariably include a cast of thousands. 

No masks, of course, and a full church. Having spent the last week in terror because I was inadvertently exposed to COVID via a healthcare provider I trusted, this irritates me no end. 

Didn’t get a good look at Allison. I’ll take everyone’s word for it that she looked okay. I worry entirely too much about some of these girls. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I honestly can’t fault these fundies for ordering cheap bridesmaid dresses online.  They are dresses they probably won’t wear again. I hated spending a bunch of money on a dress for my friend’s wedding. I spent money I didn’t have on a dress I didn’t like. It would have been better if it had been cheaper. I bet those dresses were less than $40. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

There was no punchline to either of the stories about Praise. No point to either story. No Praise saying something memorable. The hair thing wouldn't have bothered me if there had been other stories. The story of her father hitting her was gross. Was it a hint to Denver on to get her to do what you want?

Praise and Denver not only have chemistry; they seem to like each other beyond that. 

I think the bridemaid dresses are the same Chelsy had at her wedding just in different color. Here's pictures from Chelsy's wedding. Chelsy's bridesmaid's dresses are teal, and Praise's bridemaid's dresses are mauve.  

I wish Denver and Praise many years of happiness. I think it will be hard on them if Allison and Jeremiah split and yes, I think even couples this fundie can split. 

Edited March 21, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell

[petrushka]

3 hours ago, Triplet3 said:

In retrospect, I think Marlin's speech was actually *slightly* more reasonable and normal than usual. For a start he didn't do the thing he did at all the other Bontrager weddings where he made Hudson come up to the front and talked about how Hudson has been praying for a 'godly little wife' since he was five.

Agreed. I thought he was a bit less obnoxious and even managed to sound a bit nostalgic and sentimental in places.  Wonder if he has a special bond with Denver. I thought his comment about "never knowing the value of a moment until it becomes a memory" was kind of nice and stood out from all the other patriarchal blather.

Pa Helferich is like fingernails on a chalkboard in my view.  Let's hope we don't see another Bontrager/Helferich match up.

[byzant]

Why pick v necks then stick totally random white tee shirts under them ? It looks so cheap!there are equally cheap versions with a round neck which don't require obvious tee shirts under it. 

 

They do seem totally into each other which is nice. The father's speeches where bad but didn't beat the random plandemic stuff at Alison's wedding or Steve's testicles at chesleys

Edited March 21, 2021 by byzant
U

[thoughtful]

So, let's see - we had a spanking story, hunting stories ( and slides of dead moose and coyotes!), anti-gay and anti-government shit, an incredibly bad joke about body odors, and  a "you're gonna burn in hell" altar call.

That's not my idea of making a lovely wedding memory.

Edited March 21, 2021 by thoughtful
how did that extra word get in there?

[JermajestyDuggar]

I understand needing to hunt the coyotes on your property so they don’t kill your livestock and pet. But I swear he only told that story so he can brag about how manly he and his sons are. 

[Ozlsn]

6 hours ago, Sops2 said:

What is it about Fundie grooms' trousers' either too long or too baggy.

His personal vows are sweet and personal, and hers according to the pastor are making Denver  breathe heavily!!!!

The second part may answer the first part.

6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Let’s talk about hell after a wedding! Yay!

Well yes, given these fathers-in-law.

6 hours ago, seraaa said:

Ahh I see! I didn't know that. Here in the UK you sign the thing that makes you legally married after the ceremony (all the same people involved, tho - people getting married, the witnesses, and either the religious celebrant* or the registrar if it's a civil marriage)

* the ones who are approved to do it

Same here. The celebrant is supposed to lodge the certificate and then you can request a copy. There was a priest in a church here that it turned out had forgotten to lodge a series of certificates, so some people discovered that as far as the state was concerned they'd been single for the last 24 years (it was backdated once discovered but still amusing. Also made us paranoid enough to check ours had been lodged correctly.)

[Jigsaw3]

Did anyone spot Chelsy and John in the congregation? Was Axton one of the flower children? I do find it really intriguing that of all the siblings Chelsy was the only one not in the wedding party. It could be that she and Denver aren't close, but I never got that impression; maybe she and Praise don't know each other that well? The most likely scenario is that Chelsy declined to participate, as she has two small children and a long drive either way.

I am curious about Praise and Denver do now. The other married Bontrager brothers stopped touring when they married or when the kids started coming, depending. They all seem to have their own jobs (motel; manure spreading; farming; spreading ignorance and hate.) Is Praise going to join the touring circus with Denver? Are they going to live with the Bontrager parents or does Denver have a separate house? If he has a separate house, is it on the homestead or further away? What's Denver's job going to be: I'm sure he could have a full-time role on the family farm, but will he do something else? Given our speculation about Allison's possible discontent, I'm VERY interested to see how this next gender-flipped Bontrager-Helferich pairing shakes out.