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Bontrager/Bowers 8: Cringeworthy


samurai_sarah

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Continuing the bridesmaid discussion- every single one of my friends who have gotten married has had a courthouse wedding. Out of my group of best friends (there's five of us), none of us has gotten engaged and as far as I know none of really want to be and we're all in our early 30's. Guess if I wanted to ever be part of a wedding party I should have joined a sorority like my sister did in college! Almost all of her friends have had huge weddings by now.

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51 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

Really thought it was a pregnancy announcement... turns out it’s just a ladies retreat lol

And on the next slide she put a question box asking what people thought the announcement might be. You HAVE to know what everyone would think! Why do that to yourself?

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So I did some calculating. She charges $275 and there are about 40 ladies in that picture. That is $11,000. I know that they make a lot of the food themselves and then do have to pay for lodging. Anyway, even with those expenses- that's not bad for one weekend. If she did a few of these a year that would be a pretty penny. 

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Why the crazy eyes in every picture, Allison?

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The Bontragers and others seem to live in a different universe from the one I live in.  How creepy to see that reference to the 'girls' encouraging them to come to the Ladies' Retreat.   My 23 year old daughter is a woman, not a girl, and she'll tell you that.    I clicked on the Mighty Men link for fun.  It would be funny if they weren't so serious about doing all the manly things.  What exactly is a manly conversation anyway?   If my daughter brought home any guy who resembled a Mighty Man I would be seriously concerned and get her to a deprogrammer right away.  (She's currently seeing a college educated, hard working, exceedingly regular guy.  They talk about things like history, cooking,  traveling, writing, what they're reading, and good movies and documentaries they enjoy together  They're both looking forward to museums opening up again in the city where they live.  I haven't met him yet, but he sounds like a non-Mighty Man.  I'm good with that.

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18 minutes ago, Caroline said:

The Bontragers and others seem to live in a different universe from the one I live in.  How creepy to see that reference to the 'girls' encouraging them to come to the Ladies' Retreat.   My 23 year old daughter is a woman, not a girl, and she'll tell you that.    I clicked on the Mighty Men link for fun.  It would be funny if they weren't so serious about doing all the manly things.  What exactly is a manly conversation anyway?   If my daughter brought home any guy who resembled a Mighty Man I would be seriously concerned and get her to a deprogrammer right away.  (She's currently seeing a college educated, hard working, exceedingly regular guy.  They talk about things like history, cooking,  traveling, writing, what they're reading, and good movies and documentaries they enjoy together  They're both looking forward to museums opening up again in the city where they live.  I haven't met him yet, but he sounds like a non-Mighty Man.  I'm good with that.

If anyone in my family brought home a mighty man/manly man or a perfectly feminine young lady / girl of 20+, I'd have a nearly impossible time keeping my mouth shut. Mostly, I think whoever a person chooses, as long as their is mutual respect & you are happy, it's none of my business...but if a mighty man walked into my family with his manliness, I'd be the bitch that couldn't keep her mouth shut. 

We have enough toxicity in our lives without adding mighty men and retreat attending girls of 25 mucking it all up. 

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My husband is not stereotypically masculine. He has a slightly deep voice and some facial hair. But that’s about as manly as it gets with him. He does not have stereotypical manly hobbies like hunting, fishing, football playing, or woodworking. Even though he’s a bit handy at fixing things around the house. He’s never cared if he looked manly to others. If I showed him the manly retreat description, he would fall down laughing. Actually I should show it to him later for a good laugh. He will love it. 

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3 hours ago, RachelDM said:

And on the next slide she put a question box asking what people thought the announcement might be. You HAVE to know what everyone would think! Why do that to yourself?

Is she trying to make light of the fact that everyone keeps wondering if she's pregnant yet, and she's not?  They have to be happy happy all the time, she probably has to pretend it's funny/nice to be asked even if she's devastated every month.

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1 hour ago, ClareDeLune said:

Is she trying to make light of the fact that everyone keeps wondering if she's pregnant yet, and she's not?  They have to be happy happy all the time, she probably has to pretend it's funny/nice to be asked even if she's devastated every month.

Maybe she IS currently pregnant but not wanting to announce yet and so she is being rather coy about the whole thing. 

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15 hours ago, Caroline said:

What exactly is a manly conversation anyway?

I've created an agenda of manly topics for the lads to discuss at the conference: 

8:00- 9:00 Prayer, specifically how to word your prayers to remind your wife of her wifely duties.

9:00 - 9:30 A wide leg stance - how wide does God want your legs to be. Note this will be a practical session so come prepared to spread your legs.

9;30 -10:00 Coffee Note: only black coffee will be served. If you want sissy things like cream or sugar this is not the conference for you. However there will be razors available as the coffee being served will put hair on your chest. 

10:00- 11:00 Your penis: your best friend and the reason why you deserve all the things. Dick pics will be shown so come prepared to share. 

11:00 - 12:00 Blame women. God says its ok!

12:00 - 1:00 Lunch, served by the women folk  the menu is the same for all days of the conference: meat and more meat. (medical note: laxatives will be available in all bathrooms to help move that meat along)

1:00 - 2:00 Locker room talk . Anything goes so we'll share our favourite men in locker room stories. Dick pics very welcome!

2:00- 4:00 Lets all get a release! We will be working up a sweat with other sweaty men so lets go boys. Note: please wear athletic gear. Spandex encouraged but not required. 

and that is just day ONE!

Edited by browngrl
typo corrected.
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My dad was 5’8.5” he was an electrician he was strong and fit. He also would cry at sad movies. This mighty man crap that they are pushing is just that crap. I would love to see any of these “mighty man” go through boot camp training. 

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38 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

My dad was 5’8.5” he was an electrician he was strong and fit. He also would cry at sad movies. This mighty man crap that they are pushing is just that crap. I would love to see any of these “mighty man” go through boot camp training. 

To me, the funny thing is these mighty men are not traditionally "manly men" at all. 

The stereotypical manly man thing is guns, hunting, fishing, camo, big trucks, big muscles, jeans & flannel...fill in the blanks since there are many stereotypes. Jobs like mechanic, electrician, heavy construction - big, manly, manual labor. 

Note: these are not things I think men "need" to be - personally, I have no pre conceived idea of what or who a man (or woman) "should" be. These are just your stereotypical images of the big tough guy. 

I see these fundie boys and they are anything but any of these stereotypes. Every one of them would lose a fists fight in a second. I think of good ol' Sam Morton in DC wearing his skinny jeans, pea coat & contrasting scarf, bootie shoes, coifed hair - um, I'm not sure how they get "manly man" out of typical millennial male fashion, but whatever. 

Can you image Joshua Bontrager doing anything that is stereotypically "manly"? Sure, he "farms" and it's hard work, but they have lots of help and lots of machinery - he ain't out in the field plowing, getting blisters on his hands to toughen them up. 

Blah, blah, blah. I just don't see anything "manly" about fundie boys. 

 

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23 hours ago, ElizaB said:

So I did some calculating. She charges $275 and there are about 40 ladies in that picture. That is $11,000. I know that they make a lot of the food themselves and then do have to pay for lodging. Anyway, even with those expenses- that's not bad for one weekend. If she did a few of these a year that would be a pretty penny. 

Allison is running this event for her parents. (It's being held in Iowa.) They hold this event every year.  They've been holding it for many years. If you look at photos of past years, there will be many familiar faces. . The Craig daughters and Helferich daughters have both attended.  Here's the 2019 picture; notice Lauren Caldwell on the far right. 

I wonder how much of the money Allison will get. Marlin and Becky will take at least some of the money for themselves. And apparently this year a woman named Susanna is running it for them. I hope she gets paid. 

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I love the comment on Allison's blog from the girl who wants to attend but doesn't think it's a good idea because of Covid.  I think it's the first comment.  I guess she didn't get the Bontrager message about the 'plandemic'.

 

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4 minutes ago, Caroline said:

I love the comment on Allison's blog from the girl who wants to attend but doesn't think it's a good idea because of Covid.  I think it's the first comment.  I guess she didn't get the Bontrager message about the 'plandemic'.

She has high risk family members. Good for her for thinking of them! Very Christian of her!

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Susanna is her sister in law Susanna Helferich. She’s around 20 or 21 I think. I guess Allison is passing the baton now that she’s married. 

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I think she looks completely miserable in that picture. I showed my husband with no context and he said "she's trying to fake enthusiasm for something but isn't happy."

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I noticed that the Ladies’ retreat is $275 but the Mighty Men one, which runs the exact same length in the same days, is only $175. Maybe the boys’ lodging is more rustic, but it sure seems like a hefty pink tax to me. 

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On 2/6/2021 at 2:55 PM, RachelDM said:

And on the next slide she put a question box asking what people thought the announcement might be. You HAVE to know what everyone would think! Why do that to yourself?

If anyone answered that question box with anything other than a baby announcement I'll be shocked!!

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6 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

I noticed that the Ladies’ retreat is $275 but the Mighty Men one, which runs the exact same length in the same days, is only $175. Maybe the boys’ lodging is more rustic, but it sure seems like a hefty pink tax to me. 

Gotta make up the costs for all of that whipped cream they put on their coffee somehow...

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6 hours ago, indianabones said:

Gotta make up the costs for all of that whipped cream they put on their coffee somehow...

All the whipped cream in the world couldn't get me thru listening to  Mrs. Alison Helferich carrying on about her blissful life as a matron.

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15 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I showed my husband with no context and he said "she's trying to fake enthusiasm for something but isn't happy."

This inspired me to do the same. My husband doesn't know anything about any fundies and his answer was the same as your husband's.

I think that it is pretty obvious that Alison is unhappy about something. She didn't seem so happy before her marriage either so I wonder if it is due the general damage fundamentalism can do  rather than her marriage specifically. Maybe she is just depressed. It is too bad the fundie answer to all emotional distress is "pray" because I think she'd benefit from having a proper assessment (and treatment if needed) from a doctor.

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18 minutes ago, browngrl said:

This inspired me to do the same. My husband doesn't know anything about any fundies and his answer was the same as your husband's.

I also asked my husband, just to see, and he said “is that... a Rodrigues girl?” all hopefully. 

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