Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 28

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"MAGA Goons For Hire"

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“I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.”

That was a Hedy Lamarr, sorry, That’s “Hedley,” quote from Blazing Saddles when he was seeking to hire goons to invade the town of Rock Ridge. And when he did hire those goons, which included Klansmen, he told them, “Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west.”

That kinda sounds like our guy, doesn’t it? Immediately after winning the election, President Barack Obama advised Trump, don’t hire Michael Flynn, a fired general who went on to appear on Russia state TV to help prop up Vladimir Putin’s regime, and then collected payment from Russia. What did Trump do? He hired Michael Flynn as his National Security Adviser. Flynn only lasted 23 days in the job and was immediately under investigation for goon-type stuff. Naturally, Flynn was pardoned by Trump after pleading guilty…twice.

Donald Trump and his goons embarked on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west…and everywhere else they could get their filthy hands on. It was four years of stupidity, lies, tearing the nation apart, insulting everyone who wasn’t a part of the hate agenda, supporting Klansmen, and defending Nazis. There was also that shit with Putin. We’re still trying to figure out what that was all about. And a lot of people enabled this shit.

In addition to Flynn, other goons who worked in the administration and campaign are Steve Bannon and Roger Stone, who are the gooniest of goons.

Donald Trump even hired his daughter and stupid entitled son-in-law as White House advisers. Now, with the exception of Staten Island, Ivanka and Skinny will not be welcomed back into the snooty New York City caviar-eating social network. They plan to move out of their Washington, D.C, mansion where they never let the Secret Service use the bathrooms, and move down to Florida with Donald. Ivanka is planning to challenge Florida Senator Marco Rubio. Hey, she can use his selling out his principles and dignity to Trump as her campaign strategy. See what Trump loyalty gets you? Marco never should have stopped making fun of Trump’s dick size.

What will life be like for other Trump goons? Will they all have resumes with their titles in huge letters but the administration they worked for typed in itty bitty tiny letters? Probably. They all don’t want to end up on Dancing with the Stars like Sean Spicer. Former spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders is looking to run for governor of Arkansas where she’ll probably do very well. But nobody else in the administration wants to move to Arkansas. While they feed and feed off the MAGAt base, they don’t want to actually be in the company of those people. You can’t really blame them for not wanting to hang out with brainwashed terrorists.

Even before Donald Trump engaged in sedition and sent terrorists to stage a bloody coup attempt, the job market looked tricky for Trump staffers. Now after the Capitol riots, even Trump is getting snubbed. The PGA withdrew a tournament from one of his shitty resorts and New York City has cut off all business with the Trump organization. Even the residents of Palm Beach, a city full of rich assholes and where Trump is planning to live his post-presidential life, doesn’t want him. Maybe Trump should look into building a secret compound behind a huge fence and not let anyone know who lives there, like bin Laden did. And at some point, helicopters will probably land to take him away, too.

Now we’re hearing that Trump staffers are having a hard time finding jobs. About the only thing really open for them will be gooning for other Republicans, as Trump is still popular with the GOP base…because the GOP likes terrorists.

A public relations recruiter was recently approached by 15 Trump staffers, taking on six, and so far, has been unable to get even one interview for any of them. And you can’t really blame employers because who wants to hire people who enabled terrorists?

One recruiter said about the MAGAt job seekers, “You’re supposed to put anyone in front of a job that has the credentials. Morally, it’s hard for people to want to work with them.” He also said, “They’re all very all about themselves with narcissistic attitudes, thinking any company in the country will want to hire me. I listened to one for about 20 minutes, and it was so much baloney, what he was spewing out to me.”

Dude, I’ve been listening to them for the past four years, and “baloney” is putting it kindly.

Some of the staffers are looking to work in the entertainment business while others want to be pundits on cable news shows, but Fox News can only hire so many goons and they’re already fully-stocked with liars and gaslighters as it is. And at some point, even Fox isn’t going to want to be associated with these people or put them on the air, and you can’t blame them. What network wants to regularly put defenders of terrorists on their programs?

One recruiter said, “We’re not taking people who have no credibility. Very few of them have real value beyond Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax.” Hilary Rosen, who is a vice chair of a public relations firm said, “None of them are going to be TV commentators anytime soon. They really have a scarlet letter, particularly the most visible ones.” She also said, “It’s not worth it to companies to bring on people with a bad reputation to represent the company in any way if it’s going to create employee revolt.”

And that’s part of it. In addition to losing credibility with your viewers and customers, hiring any of these people will make your current employees shout out, “This is bullshit,” and stage a revolt; of course, probably not like what we saw at the Capitol because most people aren’t terrorists.

Forbes editor Randall Lane wrote a column advising that companies think twice before hiring Trump’s former communication officials because they lied for him, which attributed to the terrorist attack at the Capitol.

Lane wrote, “As American democracy rebounds, we need to return to a standard of truth when it comes to how the government communicates with the governed. The easiest way to do that, from where I sit, is to create repercussions for those who don’t follow the civic norms. Trump’s lawyers lie gleefully to the press and public, but those lies, magically, almost never made it into briefs and arguments – contempt, perjury, and disbarment keep the professional standards high.”

Land stated that if a company did hire them, then Forbes Magazine will assume that company’s foundation is based on lies. He writes, “Don’t let the chronic liars cash in on their dishonesty.”

“Press secretaries like Joe Lockhart, Ari Fleischer, and Jay Carney, who left the White House with their reputations in various stages of intact, made millions taking their skills — and credibility — to corporate America. Trump’s liars don’t merit that same golden parachute. Let it be known to the business world: Hire any of Trump’s fellow fabulists above, and Forbes will assume that everything your company or firm talks about is a lie.”

Lane also told potential employers to these goons, “Want to ensure the world’s biggest business media brand approaches you as a potential funnel of disinformation? Then hire away.”

Trump goons will hope time will erase just what a disaster the Trump administration was…and just how fucking horrible it left the country. One way to do that is to gaslight. It’s already begun.

Former adviser Kellyann Conway, whose own daughter doesn’t trust the shit that comes out of her mouth, was on Bill Maher’s program, “Real Time,” and said, “You can’t deny that many people are better off.” As Maher pointed out, “Well, they’re not better off now, a lot of them are dead.”

Don’t let them do that. Don’t forget that Donald Trump left office right when the number of dead from the pandemic he ignored and played down hit 400,000. Don’t forget that when Trump left Washington, the capital was encased in barb wire being patrolled by over 25,000 National Guard troops to defend it from Trump terrorists.

Never forget this shit. Never forget the Trump disaster. Never forget the fuckers who helped the worst president in our nation’s history work to destroy our country. Never forget the people like Mike Lindell, that MyPillow asshole, who went to Washington in Trump’s last days to campaign for martial law. Never forget that after the terrorist attack, Donald Trump entertained more people inside the White House arguing for further coup attempts and terrorist attacks.

Don’t forget these people. Don’t forget what they did. Don’t watch their shows. Don’t buy their products. Don’t buy their bullshit. Don’t hire them.

And if you do hire these people, people like me won’t let it go. You know why? Because most Americans don’t like terrorists.

 

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but he’s ready for it too.