Dillards 88: 'Cause We're Living in a World of Fools

[FiveAcres]

3 minutes ago, Grace said:

I have always thought about him quitting the Walmart job in reference to doing show stuff but it just occurred to me...there are certain departments at Walmart Home Office that have reputations for burning people out. The people who work for their tech area get paid a lot but they work them HARD and they have a ridiculous turnover rate and I think legal is the same.  I wonder if A) the accounting department is also burn-out city or  Derrick got his first accounting job and realized 'Holy crap this is BORING and I hate it" and the show and missions were just a way out.  It seems like a personality that enjoys jaunting around over the globe doing mission work might not be one to enjoy a job crunching numbers all day.

One of my in-laws got a degree in accounting, and then got a good job being an accountant for the Federal Government. However, he hated it so much that he went back to school and became an occupational therapist. He seems to enjoy that job despite its many challenges. 

[OHFL2009]

My college roommate was an accounting major and became a CPA for one of the big four accounting firms. After bouncing around multiple departments trying to find something she enjoyed, she decided she didn't actually like accounting and went into data analytics in a totally non-financial related field.

[HeartsAFundie]

My son entered college as an accounting major and graduated a communications major.  He thought he would really like accounting but turns out he hated it.  He had an entry level sales support position for the last two years but due to circumstances both beyond and within his control, is now unemployed.  Thankfully he is able to collect unemployment and because he's still here at home, is still able to save money.   I told him to take some time to figure out what he wants to do and if he chooses to 180 his goals or further his education, we will respect his decision.  If he wants to go back for his MBA and work part-time, we will support it.  Learn a trade?  We will support it.  Get a certificate in an unrelated field?  We will support it.  I just want to let him know he is not boxed into one particular thing and that it's 100% okay to change his mind about careers.  

[tanba]

4 hours ago, DalmatianCat said:

Minority opinion...I think Derrick still would have fallen in love and married Jill even if both parents had been living and healthy at the time of meeting. The main difference I can see happening is some of the choices they made in the first several years being different (not quitting his job at Walmart as quickly, or if he did, having a better support system in place before going to CA, not getting the mouth surgery, being encouraged into couples counseling after the Josh allegations came out, etc.).

I think Derrick and Jill were/are a good match and would have still stood out to each other in spite of their lifestyle differences. When they met, Derrick had a college degree and Jill was still studying midwifery...so he was probably impressed with her ambition and figured that she enjoyed learning (both of which I still think are true) and liked that she was pursuing some type of continued education even if it looked different than the path he took. She probably liked that he had a college degree (rather rare in her world) and didn’t seem intimidated by her drive and desire to continue learning...she probably had a hard time finding guys in her circle who weren’t a little intimidated by the fact that she liked learning (I’m guessing that Jill was actually smarter than most guys she was meeting and looked at as a little nerdy). Unlike the other three oldest girls, Jill never seemed super into hair and makeup. I noticed she started “girl-ing up” around the time the older girls book came out and she continued the cute clothes and makeup while she and Derrick dated, but her natural style has always seemed to trend towards casually, hippy, boho chic, low maintenance. He lived in Nepal for awhile and probably appreciated a girl who didn’t seem overly concerned with hair and makeup (remember Jinger stressing about if the part in her hair was right before going to see Jeremy?). When he mentioned roughing it on the mission field she was probably enthusiastic to the idea. It obviously didn’t turn out as easy as she thought, but Derrick had probably met several girls who wouldn’t have even gone on a second date if he asked if they were interested in moving to Nepal.

So, all that to say, I think they would have fallen in love and gotten married regardless of what was going on with Derrick’s parents. I think they might have just skipped that rough patch they went through for a few years, or just had better help navigating it, or at least had someone else giving them advice instead of just the Duggars.

While I agree that they could be a good match, how would they have met? They were clearly set up by Jim Bob due to Derrick wanting prayer partners/possibly a donation. I’m not sure he would have done the mission thing etc. then, and even less sure Jim Bob would have seen him as a good prospect, since his family seemed Christian, but nowhere near fundie at that point.

[DalmatianCat]

3 hours ago, tanba said:

While I agree that they could be a good match, how would they have met? They were clearly set up by Jim Bob due to Derrick wanting prayer partners/possibly a donation. I’m not sure he would have done the mission thing etc. then, and even less sure Jim Bob would have seen him as a good prospect, since his family seemed Christian, but nowhere near fundie at that point.

Didn’t someone say Derrick was spotted caroling with the Duggars in a big group at some point before he went to Nepal? I feel like I heard that somewhere. And then later on he asked JB to be a prayer partner. He was already somewhere in their orbit before Nepal and didn’t just randomly slide into JB’s DMs and JB didn’t just randomly choose him out of every other fan asking for something from him. They were at the very least casual acquaintances.

Anyone remember where there was a screen grab of that episode?

Anyway, my point was...if they had managed to meet (even on their own, with no parental involvement)...at a church activity, Bible study, coffee shop, singles class, etc. I could still see them standing out to each other, being attracted to each other, falling in love, and getting married. I can’t exactly see some of the other Duggar couples getting together  on their own without being pushed/encouraged to do so.
I don’t think Joe would have had the courage to talk to Kendra had he met her on his own without family activities drawing them together. I don’t think Jessa would have given Ben much more than a passing thought without encouragement from her sisters (and maybe parents). Josiah and Lauren seem pretty happy and content, but he initially gave me the vibe that he settled on her by process of elimination. Without lots of family encouragement, I think Austin would have always viewed Joy as an extra sister.
I can still see Jinger and Jeremy ending up together if they met on their own. JD and Abbie basically did meet on their own, so them as well.

Edited February 13, 2021 by DalmatianCat
More thoughts

[justmy2cents]

8 minutes ago, DalmatianCat said:

Didn’t someone say Derrick was spotted caroling with the Duggars in a big group at some point before he went to Nepal?

From what I remember Derrick was with a group from his church that went carroling at the TTH. That was supposedly their first meeting. Some time after that Derrick got in touch and asked JB to be his prayer partner. And the rest is history.

[SassyPants]

6 hours ago, OHFL2009 said:

My college roommate was an accounting major and became a CPA for one of the big four accounting firms. After bouncing around multiple departments trying to find something she enjoyed, she decided she didn't actually like accounting and went into data analytics in a totally non-financial related field.

My college roomy was also an accounting major, while I was a nursing major. She is now an RN too. My niece is a CFA, and was afraid everyone would label her a nerd. In the words of my SIL, “you are a nerd.”?

[BlondeAgent007]

What's the situation with Derek's tell-all book?  I'm probably gonna buy it TBH.

[BadMurphy]

Was Jill gravitating towards Cross Church before or after they met? Maybe they could have potentially met there.

[Idlewild]

It’s possible Derick didn’t enjoy his job with Walmart - but he didn’t appear to look to use his qualifications to work anywhere else. He jumped into the ‘missions’ lifestyle and set up a website for donations. He enjoyed the missioncation in Central America, lived in better conditions than many missionaries, flew home for family get togethers and didn’t do a tap of work to fund it. Whatever his grievance with JB or TLC, somebody was funding his family’s lifestyle and it wasn’t Derick.

He then asked for donations for his attendance at the Cross school- I’m still not sure what the point of that was, did a little bit of supply teaching and then decided he wanted to become a lawyer.

Assuming he used whatever payout their lawyer secured to buy and furnish their house, Derick has only started to work since then- with food deliveries and internships as well as whatever Jill gets from her endorsements. 
I think they do seem happy together - Jill seems to stroke his ego and is happy with his various self indulgent schemes. She has paid a far higher price than him to get to where they are today.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

12 hours ago, BlondeAgent007 said:

What's the situation with Derek's tell-all book?  I'm probably gonna buy it TBH.

It’s still ‘in the works’. The last comment he made on it was several months ago in a Sun article. 

It bothers me that the majority of the money they got from Boob was earned solely by Jill, yet its funding Derick’s pursuits.  If he was serious about becoming a practicing lawyer I would be ok with it, but I honestly think he’s still chasing fame vs.steady employment.

[SassyPants]

On 2/13/2021 at 5:46 AM, Idlewild said:

It’s possible Derick didn’t enjoy his job with Walmart - but he didn’t appear to look to use his qualifications to work anywhere else. He jumped into the ‘missions’ lifestyle and set up a website for donations. He enjoyed the missioncation in Central America, lived in better conditions than many missionaries, flew home for family get togethers and didn’t do a tap of work to fund it. Whatever his grievance with JB or TLC, somebody was funding his family’s lifestyle and it wasn’t Derick.

He then asked for donations for his attendance at the Cross school- I’m still not sure what the point of that was, did a little bit of supply teaching and then decided he wanted to become a lawyer.

Assuming he used whatever payout their lawyer secured to buy and furnish their house, Derick has only started to work since then- with food deliveries and internships as well as whatever Jill gets from her endorsements. 
I think they do seem happy together - Jill seems to stroke his ego and is happy with his various self indulgent schemes. She has paid a far higher price than him to get to where they are today.

Perhaps, but in her new life she has gained and likely will continue to gain a whole lot more than she has ultimately lost. Her parents were toxic and love/d power and control much more than their 19 “blessings.”  In addition, Dereck has lost a truly cherished parent and his innocence in that process.

[nokidsmom]

On 2/12/2021 at 11:03 AM, Grace said:

I have always thought about him quitting the Walmart job in reference to doing show stuff but it just occurred to me...there are certain departments at Walmart Home Office that have reputations for burning people out. The people who work for their tech area get paid a lot but they work them HARD and they have a ridiculous turnover rate and I think legal is the same.  I wonder if A) the accounting department is also burn-out city or Derrick got his first accounting job and realized 'Holy crap this is BORING and I hate it" and the show and missions were just a way out.  It seems like a personality that enjoys jaunting around over the globe doing mission work might not be one to enjoy a job crunching numbers all day.

I have no doubt that the accounting / finance department at a place like Walmart would be pretty demanding.   From my experience in the corporate world, those departments are pretty busy all the time with month-end / quarter-end / year-end closings, budgets and let's not forget tax time.    Maybe Derick found it boring.   That first job after college can be a serious reality check for many grads and there is probably some truth to the idea that Derick may have felt seriously let down after his Pistol Pete fame and traveling the world.   

But I wondered if there were other factors involved namely conflicting demands, such as being available for filming in his in-laws dog and pony show.   Because let's face it, they have no concept of holding a regular job therefore, they certainly wouldn't work around Derick's schedule.   And let's not forget that he had surgery and his wife had a baby with a complicated delivery in a short amount of time.  Plus Jill showed a very high level of neediness during those early months, so there was carving out time to support / placate a needy wife.   Because of these demands maybe he was not doing so well at the job.  Not saying he was fired but he may have preemptively quit.  

I didn't think it was a good idea to move to mission work with not much of a plan for it other than relying on grifting, but it seems that, after trying multiple things, he's more settled (relatively speaking) and going to law school isn't a bad thing IMHO so long as he kept at it and he has.   He could do quite well if he is serious about becoming an attorney and passes the bar exam.   

Just because he becomes an attorney doesn't mean he can't become a CPA if he wants.  When I sold my house last year, the attorney I used for the real estate transaction also was a CPA.   

[Kailash]

On 2/9/2021 at 12:30 PM, fluffernutter said:

According to the painting hanging in my mother in law's, yes. Long, lush, golden light brown locks. ? It looks like he's staring at you wherever you go. Creepy. Funny story about that painting- My one brother in law has always had long, wavy hair.  Many years ago, our oldest daughter says to my mil during a visit "That's a nice picture of Uncle Joe, Grandma!" ? My mil did not find it amusing and told me I needed to start taking our daughter's religious upbringing seriously. (We didn't).

? Your daughter sounds delightful! That reminded me of one time when my daughter was young (3 or 4 years old) and my Mother In Law said to her “I’ll pray for you.” DD said “Will it hurt?!” ??

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@Kailash, my story of my MIL and my daughter isn't a religious one, but it still makes me smirk. My mil was lecturing my 4 or 5 year old daughter about something (table manners?) and she finally realized my daughter had tuned out. Mil says, "You aren't even listening, are you!" "No," replies my daughter. Well, at least she was honest!

Edited February 19, 2021 by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
riffle

[Kailash]

Our kiddos would get along @WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?. I have several stories of my child completely ignoring a relative’s telling off when she very young. I struggled to not laugh in front of them. ??‍♀️ 

[dawn9476]

Watching Jill & Derrick's Q&A from November. LOL to them having to film their "goodbye" in Nepal for the show even though Jill was staying another week. 

[maple802]

@nokidsmom I agree with your observations/theory here. I was surprised when I saw that he'd settled on law school (and a legitimate, accredited one at that). It will be interesting to see what he does with it once he graduates.

As for lawyer/CPAs, there are quite a few out there. I'm always impressed when I find them, because the CPA exam is notoriously hard--arguably harder than the bar exam. Comparing my experience taking the bar exam with my cousin's experience taking the CPA exam made me grateful that I didn't pursue accounting!

[Belugaloo]

Per instagram the Dillards have adopted a dog.

[Not that josh's mom]

38 minutes ago, Belugaloo said:

Per instagram the Dillards have adopted a dog.

Seems like an awfully energetic dog breed for them. Beautiful dog for sure but it will require training,  discipline  and lots and lots of excercise.  Wonder who will be doing that?

[yeahtotally]

They have a fenced in yard, so I could see the boys running around in the backyard with her, as well as Derrick taking her with on runs. I’m glad they mentioned training in the video- just hope they understand the full extent of what it entails. 

[MaryOrMartha]

7 hours ago, Not that josh's mom said:

Seems like an awfully energetic dog breed for them. Beautiful dog for sure but it will require training,  discipline  and lots and lots of excercise.  Wonder who will be doing that?

All dogs need this! I hope they are committed to giving Grindle the best in life, she looks like a beautiful dog. The Dillard boys remind me of my son, loves animals and they flock to him and become instant friends. We have never had a pet (I've never had a pet of my own!) and likely won't until our children are older because I believe pet ownership should be taken much more seriously than most people.

[wendy-sparkles]

apparently Derick's been going through and liking a bunch of comments in that Instagram post about Jill Joy liked. they've been compiled by someone on tumblr

[Johannah]

1 hour ago, wendy-sparkles said:

apparently Derick's been going through and liking a bunch of comments in that Instagram post about Jill Joy liked. they've been compiled by someone on tumblr

Damn! He is not holding back

[viii]

16 hours ago, Not that josh's mom said:

Seems like an awfully energetic dog breed for them. Beautiful dog for sure but it will require training,  discipline  and lots and lots of excercise.  Wonder who will be doing that?

What kind of dog did they adopt? I'm glad they adopted, rather than buy a puppy.