M is for Mama 10: Another Narcissist Another Day

[Jigsaw3]

Also neglected: Ezra. He looks like he may have a very bad case of acne, if I'm seeing the photo alright? If that's the case, he needs to see a dermatologist. Acne is perfectly normal as a teen, but a good parent should go over hygiene with the kid (washing face etc) and then take them to the doctor to see if there's any medical treatment indicated. He's such a third parent that it's possible Abbie doesn't even realize that he may need attention and care, just like the little kids. Or maybe she just ignores it.

[Joe Pukepail]

10 hours ago, So-Virgin-It-Hurts said:

I really need some of her genuine pure white powder today, preferably from Peru.

That Peruvian flake, AMIRITE??? 

Abbie probably only buys domestic drugs of abuse. 'MURRICA!!!!

[anachronistic]

I feel - I can’t quite describe it - jealous, maybe, angry, sad, something that is all of those at once - that Abbie has those beautiful babies and treats her kids so badly. Same for all fundies. They have them to kiss and hug and hold, right now, but they don’t seem to appreciate it. I’m sure I’m not the only one who misses the kids that used to be in my life, who misses my relatives so deeply it feels like a cuisinart inside, but I can’t see them because it’s not safe.

Bitter. That’s what she makes me feel. Bitter.

I’ve been frustrated at kids. I’ve had to take a deep breath and leave the room. I’ve sworn when a kid has yet another seizure, or there is poop *everywhere*, or you still smell desitin hours later. I’ve raised my voice to be heard over the screaming. I’ve bribed with gummy worms and goldfish and cookies and chocolate chips (please just stop unbuckling your car seat, please.) You can call a friend, call a counselor, hire some help if it’s safe, drop them at a church nursery. You can read parenting books, read blogs, yell outside or into a pillow, buy yourself treats. There are lots of ways to deal with the frustration that kids behavior can cause. But I really don’t think that fantasizing about violence when dealing with kids is normal. Maybe it is? I mean, she spanks kids anyway so why doesn’t that get out her anger? 
 

Abbie thinks that she’s wearing a perfect porcelain mask. But her mask is paper, and we see right through it.

 

[danvillebelle]

She's constantly fawning over the twin boys right now because they're cute and not mobile yet.  This time next year, she will be calling them "the toddlers" a la Shiloh and constantly ragging on them and bemoaning the messes they make.  My guess is she'll also be pregnant again.  

She loves newborns/infants and she loves them once they're big enough to start serving her constantly with chores...age 7 or so.  Between those ages, it's so obvious that she basically sees them as just a huge annoyance.  

ETA: by loves in the statement above, I mean love in the narcissist sense - what they can do for her and the attention they can bring to her.

Edited January 14, 2021 by danvillebelle

[Melissa1977]

11 hours ago, Jigsaw3 said:

Also neglected: Ezra. He looks like he may have a very bad case of acne, if I'm seeing the photo alright? If that's the case, he needs to see a dermatologist. Acne is perfectly normal as a teen, but a good parent should go over hygiene with the kid (washing face etc) and then take them to the doctor to see if there's any medical treatment indicated. He's such a third parent that it's possible Abbie doesn't even realize that he may need attention and care, just like the little kids. Or maybe she just ignores it.

She is all for appearances. It's strange that she ignores the acne, because conversely to other issues, it "ruins" pictures. But maybe she just looks at herself. 

I agree that some acne problems are caused by not enough hygiene, which can be the case. When a mother does not shower and combs her hair with a dirty fork... We can't expect her focused in her kids washing routines. But, as you say, sometimes drugs/lotions are needed to fix it. I wonder if Abby will try to help the kid with Plexus or essencial oils.

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

She's constantly fawning over the twin boys right now because they're cute and not mobile yet.  This time next year, she will be calling them "the toddlers" a la Shiloh and constantly ragging on them and bemoaning the messes they make.  My guess is she'll also be pregnant again.  

She loves newborns/infants and she loves them once they're big enough to start serving her constantly with chores...age 7 or so.  Between those ages, it's so obvious that she basically sees them as just a huge annoyance.  

ETA: by loves in the statement above, I mean love in the narcissist sense - what they can do for her and the attention they can bring to her.

She is going to be bitching up a storm when those twins are mobile. I am betting it will be almost daily that she complains about them. And Shiloh will probably be blamed even more because she will say they are just following his lead. 

[SassyPants]

13 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Why the fuck do you need a 30 day gentleness challenge? I mean, I get stress...trust me, I get stress. However, there are ways to compartmentalize it...like, if you are pissed at the current political situation, don't take it out on your dog, cat, kid, spouse...just rant and rave to yourself. If your kids are driving you bonkers (and yeah...mine did and do), take a step back, a deep breath and realize they're just little people. I mean, baby A has reached the stage where she wants to be mobile but her body isn't quite ready for it. So, she gets frustrated when she can't easily reach a toy on her playmat or her little legs won't hold her in a standing position because she just doesn't have the balance yet. Yes, she has rip-roaring ballistic shit fits over it...because she's frustrated. She yells and squeals and cries out of frustration. I get it. But, instead of stressing out about it, it's easier to pick her up, tickle her, give her a toy, talk to her than listen to her have her shit fit. But, for Braggie, that would involve actually paying attention to a child...yeah, nevermind. that ain't gonna fly. 

Baby A's smiles when you finally figure out what she wants are absolutely lovely...those 2 little teeth she happily shows off...

(yes, I'm utterly besotted with her too)

I have always been of the thought that when one has too many kids/blessings to adequately parent, the joy and magic of parenting goes out the window. I don’t think the Duggar, Bates or H kids get any more attention, nurturing, love or better parenting than kids in your average 2 kid family. No matter how much you profess a love for Jesus, your day is never longer than 24 hours. Abbie has zero interest in children or parenting.

[feministxtian]

@SassyPants I had a handful of kids...5 to be exact, at one time. It was beyond frustrating at times. Even just my bio 3 were a nightmare at times. I can't see having the time or patience for a whole passel of kids. Yes, I've known people who raised 10-12 kids and did a very good job of it, but I really think those types of people are few and far between. Also, the kids were more spread out age-wise. A lady I knew who had 10 kids was pregnant with #10 when her oldest was 22-23 years old. They also had quite a bit of economic security. She had the sort of temperament to deal with insanity and chaos. So did the lady with 12 kids. They'd be fussing, fighting, raising hell and she'd just sort of laugh and that would be it. I know for me, I always sent the little brats outside and would tell them "no blood on the carpet". I don't think Braggie could do that. She has no business having the kids she has. 

Listen, I get frustrated as hell when Sadie chases the cats around (like now) and that's all the stress I care to have in my life. 

[TuringMachine]

I love it when she posts full pictures of the house. Get to laugh about how much of a funhouse it is.

Why are the windows on the dormers so big? It looks ridiculous. Why does the porch cut off like that? Wouldn't it look better if it were symmetrical? On that note, why does the house look so lopsided? And why is (almost) every window a different shape?

Most of all: how did no one point out how silly this house looks while they were building it?

Edited January 14, 2021 by TuringMachine

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

I love it when she posts full pictures of the house. Get to laugh about how much of a funhouse it is.

Why are the windows on the dormers so big? It looks ridiculous. Why does the cut off like that? Wouldn't it look better if it were symmetrical? On that note, why does the house look so lopsided? And why is (almost) every window a different shape?

Most of all: how did no one point out how silly this house looks while they were building it?

The windows bother me the most. It’s just messy.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

2 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

I love it when she posts full pictures of the house. Get to laugh about how much of a funhouse it is.

Why are the windows on the dormers so big? It looks ridiculous. Why does the cut off like that? Wouldn't it look better if it were symmetrical? On that note, why does the house look so lopsided? Why is (almost) every window a different shape.

And most of all: how did no one point out how silly this house looks while they were building it?

The inside layout is also ridiculous.  Like Braggie, the whole damn house is very, very extra.

 

[ophelia]

19 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

I love it when she posts full pictures of the house. Get to laugh about how much of a funhouse it is.

Why are the windows on the dormers so big? It looks ridiculous. Why does the cut off like that? Wouldn't it look better if it were symmetrical? On that note, why does the house look so lopsided? And why is (almost) every window a different shape?

Most of all: how did no one point out how silly this house looks while they were building it?

Looks like the houses I've build for my sims over the years.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I think the whole crazy funhouse look is because Braggie and hub DIY-ed the house without building plans and bought materials from wholesalers/ salvage/ building suppliers who did not have enough of something so they made do.

Windows for example -- They bought whatever was available and made it fit without any regard to size-space ratio or matching styles/size. Without building plans roof lines are off, heights don't match, dormer sizes don't match. the pitch of the porch roof is different from one side to the other. There's so much more

That house is, in a word, jerry-built. Shoddy construction.  Not to mention a fire trap inside.

Bet you cash money they sell it to one of her fangirls within 5 years, Lock stock barrel mattresses and everything else  -- exactly like they sold the previous house.

 

[anachronistic]

It is straight out of McMansion hell - does that still exist? I don’t know. I’d love to get an actual architects opinion on it. When I’m next with my moms partner I’ll try and remember but that won’t be for a few months because we are social distancing.

I love farmhouses. I grew up in a farmhouse. I think they were going for the farmhouse look but that’s no farmhouse that’s a funhouse of dreck. Ugh! It just makes me want to poke and prod at it until it’s symmetrical and matches and....evens out. Out of the Sims, indeed. 

[danvillebelle]

25 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

t is straight out of McMansion hell - does that still exist? I don’t know.

Indeed it does.  I love her so, so much.  

We have friends who live in a house they built themselves, as they could afford it, over the last 20 years.  They are frugal to a fault and lived for years with some unfinished things (not BEDS, the kids did actually sleep in BEDS, Braggie) but they were raising/homeschooling six kids on one income.  Here's the catch: the father actually IS AN ARCHITECT, so the house is lovely and symmetrical inside and the rooflines and the windows all match.  It's also solid as a rock with brick siding and will undoubtedly be handed down to one of the kids when the parents pass away 25+ years from now...and it will still be in great shape, which is more than one can say for Braggie's Craptastic Tacky Funhouse.

[theotherelise]

Absolutely McMansion Hell fodder. I just read through the entire McMansion 101 series and Abbie and Shaun's place ticks so many of the boxes.

[indianabones]

16 hours ago, Jigsaw3 said:

Also neglected: Ezra. He looks like he may have a very bad case of acne, if I'm seeing the photo alright? If that's the case, he needs to see a dermatologist. Acne is perfectly normal as a teen, but a good parent should go over hygiene with the kid (washing face etc) and then take them to the doctor to see if there's any medical treatment indicated. He's such a third parent that it's possible Abbie doesn't even realize that he may need attention and care, just like the little kids. Or maybe she just ignores it.

I had terrible acne as a young teen and my mom took me to get laser treatments and prescription face wash. It fixed the problem entirely (except for a few zits that pop up every now and then each year). It really helped with my self esteem and I've gotten lots of compliments on my skin since then. I wish Abbie would do the same for Ezra.

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The windows bother me the most. It’s just messy.

They really are awful. The porch is a close second.

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, theotherelise said:

Absolutely McMansion Hell fodder. I just read through the entire McMansion 101 series and Abbie and Shaun's place ticks so many of the boxes.

It really does. The house has so many roof lines and no less than seven different styles of windows. On McMansion Hell she always saves the back view of the house for last and now I'm wondering what sort of mess is going on at the back of Shaun and Abbie's DIY.

[Giraffe]

I’m not saying Abbie’s treating the kid’s acne, but a couple of my siblings had horrid acne as teenagers and even the dermatologist prescribed meds didn’t do much. I’m sure medications have come a long way in 30 years but it’s possible to be getting treatment and also have bad acne. 

[Babsi]

Aww @feministxtianshe sounds so lovely...and reminds me of my "honorary goddaughter" (different religion) she was very early in motor development and I remember her being barely five months old and on the verge of crawling...she just couldn't manage the forward movement. She was on all fours and yelled red-faced with anger, the poor frustrated thing...not for long though, she was and still is a very determined lady

And I'll be honest there was another day I thought of (and I am not a mom, this is just my job) where I had 10 hours of driving-you-up-a-wall behaviour from the kids (they have off days too) and by hour 9,5 of the oldest (now 5) purposefully provoking his siblings and me, I was all out of back-steps and I took one last deep breath and told him, very angrily, what I think of his behaviour and that I will no longer tolerate it. He was VERY surprised by the fact he indeed successfully found my last nerve but got the message and things got better. And while that is not ideal, kids can and have to learn that adults have breaking points, needs and feelings too.(He is btw so smart, creative, problem solving, capable and caring....but is also very very keen to find the lines and thoroughly test them, which will one day get him far in life I am sure, but right now is difficult to manage at times ❤️ )

But those are TWO instances, years apart, I can think of, and he is what Abby would call a spirited child (honestly, he would easily give Shiloh/Honor...which one is the "bad" one again because she doesn't watch him and ignores him a run for his money). And EVERY parent or carer of children has moments like this, we would ideally have handled better did we have endless patience. But for her this is an everyday thing....sinners, fuss-juice (I still CAN'T EVEN with this) kids who do things ONLY TO ANGER HER, every day she needs to be reminded to be gentle and "hard is not the same things as bad". No it is not. but wh equates the two? Unless she is miserable, which she IS....and her poor kids pay the price.

If the things she publishes are things she thinks make her look good (ok and martyr-like but whatever) what is REALLY going on she doesn't show.

Edit: whoops, missed a page of content... I was just trying to say that everyone has breaking points with many small kids but she has one every dayfor no damn reason!!

Edited January 14, 2021 by Babsi

[feministxtian]

My kids occasionally would get on what was left of my last nerve. Thing is, they knew that the minute I got quiet, I was PISSED and had enough of their shit. At that point, they would literally disappear! It would be like "uh oh, we done fucked up and really pissed mama off". They later learned that if they could crack me up I'd forget about being pissed. The boys were VERY good at that. I'd be like ready to kill them and they'd make me laugh. Damn kids!!! 

 

[Alisamer]

16 minutes ago, Babsi said:

Aww @feministxtianshe sounds so lovely...and reminds me of my "honorary goddaughter" (different religion) she was very early in motor development and I remember her being barely five months old and on the verge of crawling...she just couldn't manage the forward movement. She was on all fours and yelled red-faced with anger, the poor frustrated thing...not for long though, she was and still is a very determined lady

My sister has a friend who is Catholic (we're baptist) - and the friend really wanted her to be her daughter's godmother. So she had her second choice (who is Catholic) be the official godmother, and my sister became the daughter's "fairy godmother" - responsible for teaching her all things Disney.

[theotherelise]

I'm 31 and I still get acne. I have PCOS and the higher levels of testosterone just turn into cysts and pore blockages. I've spent thousands on different treatment options. My sister is 35 and has the same issues.

Together, we have tried all myriad of antibiotics, prescription creams, acutane, OTC and prescription retinoids, natural products, and diet changes. 

Acne is not caused by poor hygiene and for a boy going through puberty, it's almost a certain thing. Unfortunately, people with acne are often perceived as dirty or gross. IMO, it's just one more type of body-shaming. Ezra is a child, he doesn't need people commenting on his acne.

 

Edited January 14, 2021 by theotherelise

[Babsi]

@Alisamer: In this case I am catholic (on paper :P) and kid was baptised russian orthodox.

I don't care about things on paper though or about religion (personally), so to them I am basically family (now they refer to me as "their friend who is a little older than them" to their peers, which is cute and I feel like the cool auntie ... when they were very little I was just introduced as "This is my "Babsi"" and they were always very confused when someone would inquire further...what do you mean is she my mom or my aunt or my friend?? She's just "my Babsi" ?)

@feministxtian I wish he possessed the wherewithal He just kept poking at the volcano and was very surprised it erupted. His siblings were very impressed as well. When I was done with my tirade (and I still maintain, he DESERVED it in this instance) he was very sheepish and his little brothers just silently stared at me wide-eyed for 10 seconds till one said reverently: "You MAD at him" (rough translation)... I think they all did not expect I had it in me. I am a very patient person for very long. But add external stress to it AND stretch the limit of said patience and bam, it ends instantly. But as I said, this happens rarely, like twice a year all things considered (way more rarely at my job). And I neither find it sanctifying nor use it to excuse things or play the "hey everybody sins" card. But everybody is human and not a robot. The important thing is to strive to react differently next time and work on ourselves (and not through hashtaggy reminders how martyrish our existence is or challenges to keep us from strangling someone or whatever it is Abby does)

....and that house...I sort of see where they WANTED to go with the outside of it, but they failed the mark by a LOT (I still like the colour though ?). The INSIDE though is space wasting, horrible, makes no sense AND is a fire trap