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M is for Mama 10: Another Narcissist Another Day


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On 6/15/2021 at 7:26 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Do you think it’s Botox? I’m not good at spotting Botox so I wouldn’t know if I looked. I’ve thought about getting Botox but I’m afraid of not being able to move a lot of my face. 

Do you think it’s Botox? I’m not good at spotting Botox so I wouldn’t know if I looked. I’ve thought about getting Botox but I’m afraid of not being able to move a lot of my face. 

Try acid hialuronic shots. You would look absolutely natural, but with less wrinckles. It is a great solution in my opinion... And I know it because... I confess I did it.

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Braggie got the vapors over the "birthing person" wording that was in a Biden administration health document.  

There are non-binary people in the world who birth children and don't necessarily prefer the term mother, Braggie.  One of them is a good friend of mine.  Get the fuck over yourself.  And BTW, your flowery word-vomit about mothering doesn't resemble what you post on the internet in the least.  Your. Walk. Doesn't. Match. Your. Talk.

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On 6/20/2021 at 5:29 AM, danvillebelle said:

Braggie got the vapors over the "birthing person" wording that was in a Biden administration health document.  

There are non-binary people in the world who birth children and don't necessarily prefer the term mother, Braggie.  One of them is a good friend of mine.  Get the fuck over yourself.  And BTW, your flowery word-vomit about mothering doesn't resemble what you post on the internet in the least.  Your. Walk. Doesn't. Match. Your. Talk.

Seriously she's the last person who should be preaching about the beauty of motherhood.   

From her post and the comments from her leghumpers you'd think the word mother was being banned entirely. 

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On 6/20/2021 at 6:29 AM, danvillebelle said:

Braggie got the vapors over the "birthing person" wording that was in a Biden administration health document.  

There are non-binary people in the world who birth children and don't necessarily prefer the term mother, Braggie.  One of them is a good friend of mine.  Get the fuck over yourself.  And BTW, your flowery word-vomit about mothering doesn't resemble what you post on the internet in the least.  Your. Walk. Doesn't. Match. Your. Talk.

Awhile back, I got a chance to talk with a transgender man who had given birth. He was understandably annoyed that his child's birth certificate listed him as "mother", because our state (in general) has no interest in treating trans people with respect. Even from a bureaucratic perspective it makes no sense, because his legal identity is male. Abby needs to...something. Mature? Meet more diverse people? Something.

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21 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Awhile back, I got a chance to talk with a transgender man who had given birth. He was understandably annoyed that his child's birth certificate listed him as "mother", because our state (in general) has no interest in treating trans people with respect. Even from a bureaucratic perspective it makes no sense, because his legal identity is male. Abby needs to...something. Mature? Meet more diverse people? Something.

I think “mature” is probably correct. As I’ve aged, I have become much more “live and let live.” I honestly don’t care what others do as long as they aren’t hurting others. How someone is listed on a birth certificate won’t hurt anyone but the persons being listed. So if they want to be listed in a certain way, why should I give a single fuck? There are so many things to be upset about in this world. I’m not going to make up more things just to feel smug and superior. 

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58 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think “mature” is probably correct. As I’ve aged, I have become much more “live and let live.” I honestly don’t care what others do as long as they aren’t hurting others. How someone is listed on a birth certificate won’t hurt anyone but the persons being listed. So if they want to be listed in a certain way, why should I give a single fuck? There are so many things to be upset about in this world. I’m not going to make up more things just to feel smug and superior. 

When I was like 16-ish I asked my rabbi why they don't just say not straight instead of lgbtq+. I wasn't trying to be mean or dismissive or anything, I was genuinely ignorant on the subject and thought that sounded simpler. Anyway, he responded something like, people don't like to be defined by what they are not. And that was enough for me. Just the fact that using LGBTQ+ would make people feel better was all the justification I needed. I have a hard time understanding why that's not enough for other people.

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This Mama Doctor Jones video went up (on Youtube) yesterday and fits Abbie's problem's perfectly. MDJ usually does one of the "I didn't know I was pregnant" videos once a month, and chose "Boyfriend didn't know he was pregnant" for pride month. They have the cutest baby! So heartbreaking to see the parents worrying about the challenges their child will face because of their parents, and also how the father talked about feeling so out of place whenever he went to get aftercare because he would be the only man around.

 

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I really think that the only way you can change your beliefs is to think about them rationally, figure out where they came from, and commit yourself to trying. And if you don’t succeed at changing your feelings then you can often succeed at changing your outward expression of them.

For example, (tw: kink prejudice) for years I was ‘grossed out’ by the pony play people in Pride parades. I thought that they didn’t belong there with us ‘nice’ gay people who didn’t let the world know our intimate fantasies. At the same time, I judged myself for not enjoying Halloween more. Then I thought about it for a long time and realized that actually, it’s the fact that I can’t see their faces that freaks me out, and it’s directly related to the Halloween thing.

For whatever reason, I just don’t like it when people are obscured by costumes to the point where they no longer look human. It literally makes shudders go down my spine. (Without the head gear it’s fine.) Whether it’s a mascot, theme park character, costume or kink, I need to be able to confirm that you are, in fact, human. I think that this maybe stems from my very over -active imagination where I believed in fairy tales, magic, time travel, etc, for a very long time, into my teens, because adults and books told me these things were true, and why would they lie? I detest lying and fakery, and the idea that someone is genuinely enjoying pretending to be a horse is just too much for me to handle. Either you are a horse or you aren’t, but you can’t be in between. The dichotomy is too much. 
 

So now when I see the pony play people I look away, because they freak me out, but I also look away during Halloween and don’t go to theme parks where those gigantic animal characters roam around. It’s not them, it’s me, and I fully acknowledge that. Braggie can’t ever do that because she has never had cause to examine herself in a critical way, and given how isolated she is, she will probably never have to.

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4 hours ago, anachronistic said:

I really think that the only way you can change your beliefs is to think about them rationally, figure out where they came from, and commit yourself to trying. And if you don’t succeed at changing your feelings then you can often succeed at changing your outward expression of them.

For example, (tw: kink prejudice) for years I was ‘grossed out’ by the pony play people in Pride parades. I thought that they didn’t belong there with us ‘nice’ gay people who didn’t let the world know our intimate fantasies. At the same time, I judged myself for not enjoying Halloween more. Then I thought about it for a long time and realized that actually, it’s the fact that I can’t see their faces that freaks me out, and it’s directly related to the Halloween thing.

For whatever reason, I just don’t like it when people are obscured by costumes to the point where they no longer look human. It literally makes shudders go down my spine. (Without the head gear it’s fine.) Whether it’s a mascot, theme park character, costume or kink, I need to be able to confirm that you are, in fact, human. I think that this maybe stems from my very over -active imagination where I believed in fairy tales, magic, time travel, etc, for a very long time, into my teens, because adults and books told me these things were true, and why would they lie? I detest lying and fakery, and the idea that someone is genuinely enjoying pretending to be a horse is just too much for me to handle. Either you are a horse or you aren’t, but you can’t be in between. The dichotomy is too much. 
 

So now when I see the pony play people I look away, because they freak me out, but I also look away during Halloween and don’t go to theme parks where those gigantic animal characters roam around. It’s not them, it’s me, and I fully acknowledge that. Braggie can’t ever do that because she has never had cause to examine herself in a critical way, and given how isolated she is, she will probably never have to.

You might have masklophobia. I had to Google the term because I couldn't remember what it was called but I have the same thing. Mr and I once stopped at a McDonald's for lunch and we didn't even get out of the car because they had two mascots, Grimace and Birdie, at the door greeting customers. I don't like the dead eyes of mascot type costumes. Like you, there's something unnerving about not seeing someone's face or eyes. I understand that it's irrational but that doesn't stop the deep discomfort I feel when I see one. There's a local insurance company that has a giant crow mascot that dances on the street corner where their offices are located. I will drive five blocks out of my way just to avoid having to see it. One day I was in the car with someone else and we were stopped at a light next to the crow. I was doing my best to avoid it but suddenly it stopped flailing around and was standing stock still. It's dead eyes seemed like they were looking at me and I came close to panic. Realistically the person inside the costume was probably checking their phone or something but that completely still bird staring at me still gives me the shivers when I think about it.

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On 6/6/2021 at 1:32 AM, Ozlsn said:

... are they something else? I consider them vegetables. My husband claimed that beans, peas and other legumes weren't vegetables either, which OK, legumes, but still healthy.

Disturbingly that still sounds better than JRod manages.

I was taught to treat them as carbs. When serving corn or potatoes, don't consider either an adequate side for a carb entree, like spaghetti or mac n cheese. When serving with meat, no other carb.

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5 hours ago, purejuice said:

I was taught to treat them as carbs. When serving corn or potatoes, don't consider either an adequate side for a carb entree, like spaghetti or mac n cheese. When serving with meat, no other carb.

I think it's because I grew up in what was still a very "meat and three veg" culinary culture, so if it wasn't meat then it was vegetable.  In our case that was almost certainly meat, potatoes and various combinations of beans, peas, corn, carrot, turnip, cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, pumpkin and - very occasionally - capsicum and eggplant (these are the ones I can think of offhand!) The three in veg was also a bit up and down - peas, beans and corn kernels were/are often mixed, and counted as one. My best friend in primary school was diabetic, so we had some idea about what combinations she needed, but the wide spread sorting into carbs, protein etc didn't happen until a lot later (and is obviously still patchy in my mind!)

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In my country potatoes are used in the same fashion as rice and pasta. Legumes and corn are seen as a vegetable. So you can have (fake)meat + potatoes + green beans and have a whole meal. Also, "stamppot" is a traditional Dutch dish (which I despise): potatoes and vegetables (like kale) mashed together with gravy. 

My SO has T1D and, contrary to what many believe, he absolutely needs carbs in his diet so that he has sugar reserves for when he goes low. Without those reserves, he could die when he gets a hypo (low bloodsugar).

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On 6/23/2021 at 7:44 AM, anachronistic said:

For whatever reason, I just don’t like it when people are obscured by costumes to the point where they no longer look human. It literally makes shudders go down my spine. (Without the head gear it’s fine.)

I’ve never heard someone express the same anxiety over people in fully body costumes! For me it’s mostly the plush costumes at places like Disney, or the Chick Fil A cow.  I feel a sense of distress for the people wearing them when I can’t see their faces and emotions, and it creeps me out to not know who is inside.  Oddly, “Furries” and people on Halloween don’t really bother me, maybe because I already know they are wearing the suit because they enjoy it and aren’t being paid to be in it? I have young kids and we generally avoid the Easter bunny, etc, and they thankfully are not into Disney.
 

 

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