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M is for Mama 10: Another Narcissist Another Day


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21 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

At that point seriously, go the full deal and use more reliable contraception, sheesh.

I’d suggest a permanent solution.10 kids is 10 too many for a narcissistic, disinterested person. 

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In her stories today (they are on vacation again of course), she has Della babywearing one of the twins for a walk. A walk, I might add, down a road where they were not supposed to walk and the neighbours complained to them. Well done neighbours! But to get to my point: Della is 10! Her sunday pictures (not the most recent ones I think but several over the past few months) where she had the "twinsies" holding the "twinbies" were already annoying me so much, but I assumed they were only holding them for the pictures. Which was still bothersome to me. My littlest nephew is two weeks older than her boys, and he is wiggly and strong and weighs about 17 pounds. I know her boys are likely a bit smaller/lighter, but the thought of those eight year olds holding/supporting that kind of weight is just wrong, nevermind strapping one of them to a 10 year old girl for a longer walk. At this point I wouldn't mind her older boys babywearing one of the babies, they have been carrying them non-stop since birth, they look big and strong enough and are full on brotherdads anyway, but her girls are just too young and small.

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Of course she has Della wearing one of the twins.  Honestly, I'm surprised at this point that she hasn't weaned them and turned over their feeding to the other kids.  She bitches about feeding them constantly.

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3 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

Of course she has Della wearing one of the twins.  Honestly, I'm surprised at this point that she hasn't weaned them and turned over their feeding to the other kids.  She bitches about feeding them constantly.

Zoo had poor Miriam babywearing at 9. Making a child babywearing her sibling is disgusting. It must hurt that child’s back.

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And let’s all say in unison the canned fundie answer. “But she wanted to carry the baby. She asked and begged us. She has such a tender heart.” ?

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1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

She has such a tender servant  heart.

FTFY

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I'm feeling for poor "Shi-Bear," who got dragged on vacation while sick with hand, foot, & mouth. And Braggie mentioned yesterday that the babies were not feeling well. She really is a rolling caravan of bad ideas and contagion, isn't she?

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1 hour ago, mysweetetc said:

I'm feeling for poor "Shi-Bear," who got dragged on vacation while sick with hand, foot, & mouth. And Braggie mentioned yesterday that the babies were not feeling well. She really is a rolling caravan of bad ideas and contagion, isn't she?

I remember when my oldest caught hand foot and mouth. I always tell new parents: “it should be called hand, foot, mouth, and butt.” My son had the worst of it on his butt. I think he had one in his mouth and none on his hands or feet. I think some new parents might not recognize it because it doesn’t have to be on their hands and feet. Poor Shiloh. He must be miserable.

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Braggie had a sad, because sick kids (it looks like Honor is sick now also) and non-sleeping babies were bumming out her $1000 a night luxury Colorado vacation.  But she's good now, because "God's sound machine" cheered her up.  Sorry you're feeling like shit, Honor - lift your head off the couch and smile so Mama can post on the 'Gram!  

She is a walking, talking, tone deaf, overprivileged shitshow.  

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Didn't someone say Shaun hates having his picture taken? So of course she posts a video in her stories of him looking stressed, holding two screaming children.

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She focuses a lot on sleep deprivation, and I know she nurses, but wouldn’t seasoned parents make some different choices so that the mom could get some sleep? How about pumping or using formula (BF is obviously well established). She needs those babies to take bottles so that Shaun can help out and she can get a couple of nights of sleep.

My one parenting advice for nursing mothers, once BF is firmly established, give baby a bottle every.single.day. Motherhood should not be synonymous with martyrdom-

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26 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

My one parenting advice for nursing mothers, once BF is firmly established, give baby a bottle every.single.day. Motherhood should not be synonymous with martyrdom-

This sounds like such a great advice. I'm planning to breastfeed, but quite honestly I also find the idea of it really scary and sometimes I feel like I might use formula just so that we can share the feeding responsibilities. But I'll remember your idea.

I've read somewhere that babies can unlearn how to latch unto the breast properly. Is that true?

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26 minutes ago, ophelia said:

This sounds like such a great advice. I'm planning to breastfeed, but quite honestly I also find the idea of it really scary and sometimes I feel like I might use formula just so that we can share the feeding responsibilities. But I'll remember your idea.

I've read somewhere that babies can unlearn how to latch unto the breast properly. Is that true?

You can always try breastfeeding and introduce formula/bottles alongside it or later. It can be hard, but it can also be easy, depending on a lot of factors.

I don't think I've ever heard that they "unlearn," but that some babies do prefer a bottle, since it can be less effort for them.

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I did not have any issues switching between breast and bottle with either of my kids. However, my babies would drink and later eat, anything! It all ended by age 2 though-

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My babies were almost exclusively breastfed and I remember them having phases of fussy latching regardless.

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I would recommend getting to know a lactation consultant (not just befriend but hire them) if you are worried. I had issues with my youngest never taking a bottle but that child is a special kind of stubborn. He’s literally the most stubborn child I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t wish that stubbornness on anyone. So I think he’s a special case. And most other babies aren’t like that.

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1 hour ago, ophelia said:

This sounds like such a great advice. I'm planning to breastfeed, but quite honestly I also find the idea of it really scary and sometimes I feel like I might use formula just so that we can share the feeding responsibilities. But I'll remember your idea.

I've read somewhere that babies can unlearn how to latch unto the breast properly. Is that true?

If you want to bf and bottle look into pace feeding. It isn't that they unlearn how to latch, it's that bottle feeding is easier and some babies prefer it. I mean, who wouldn't want the easy meal ?

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8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would recommend getting to know a lactation consultant (not just befriend but hire them) if you are worried. I had issues with my youngest never taking a bottle but that child is a special kind of stubborn. He’s literally the most stubborn child I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t wish that stubbornness on anyone. So I think he’s a special case. And most other babies aren’t like that.

My granddaughter was morally opposed to bottles. I mean, HELL NO! She's been weaned now, but still won't take a bottle. Sippy cups are fine but bottles...nope. She's 10 months old now so it's not necessarily a big deal. She also eats anything that's not nailed down. Nothing is safe from her! She eats Mongolian food, pizza, tacos (soft tortillas), just about anything. She's also at that stage where she doesn't really like being fed, she'd rather feed herself. 

A is also stubborn...she takes after her father (I can't imagine where he got it from). She's also going to be a climber and daredevil. She's not walking and barely standing but she's already climbed out of her playpen, dove off the couch, out of her highchair (no, restraints don't stop her, just slow her down). She's a handful. I can't wait to see what the "terrible 2's" bring with this one. 

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13 minutes ago, Skyline said:

If you want to bf and bottle look into pace feeding. It isn't that they unlearn how to latch, it's that bottle feeding is easier and some babies prefer it. I mean, who wouldn't want the easy meal ?

My now 6 year old! But he’s a stage 5 clinger ?

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None of my kids have taken a bottle. Not for lack of trying. With my oldest, I think I bought 10 different bottles in an attempt to find one that would work. I tried all the tricks lactation consultants recommend, to no avail! My youngest would take maybe 1/2 oz from a bottle if he was absolutely desperate. I’m due any day with #4 and am really hopeful this baby isn’t as stubborn as its siblings!!!

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17 hours ago, SassyPants said:

She focuses a lot on sleep deprivation, and I know she nurses, but wouldn’t seasoned parents make some different choices so that the mom could get some sleep? How about pumping or using formula (BF is obviously well established). She needs those babies to take bottles so that Shaun can help out and she can get a couple of nights of sleep.

My one parenting advice for nursing mothers, once BF is firmly established, give baby a bottle every.single.day. Motherhood should not be synonymous with martyrdom-

1) Abbie needs the martyrdom.

2) I imagine pumping on top of nursing twins full-time/on demand (no evidence as far as I know of her trying to limit their feedings) would leave her with zero time to wallpaper/shop Anthropologie.

3) I'm pretty sure she relies on nursing so much as part of her birth control (I know lactational amenorrhea isn't a thing that happens for everyone, and I think she got pregnant with her second baby while still nursing the first, but that never happened to her again so she might have found a way to make it work for her), so formula is not an option.

I also wonder about weaning. As far as I'm aware, she has not posted about letting them try any foods, and they are nearly 8 months old. Is this normal in the US? In Germany, I think the recommendation is to start babies on mashed carrots for example between five and seven months. Though I am fully aware not everyone does that. SIL definitely loves her babies depending on her for their feedings. To the point that until age 2, nephew #1 was still basically exclusively breastfed and barely ate any foods. She still nursed him at night until a few weeks before #2 was born. I personally love the thought of letting dad/non-nursing partner feed baby a bottle every day, I think it would be a lovely bonding experience.

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17 hours ago, SassyPants said:

She focuses a lot on sleep deprivation, and I know she nurses, but wouldn’t seasoned parents make some different choices so that the mom could get some sleep? How about pumping or using formula (BF is obviously well established). She needs those babies to take bottles so that Shaun can help out and she can get a couple of nights of sleep.

My one parenting advice for nursing mothers, once BF is firmly established, give baby a bottle every.single.day. Motherhood should not be synonymous with martyrdom-

I needed to read your advice. I’m sitting here reading this at 3am with my 2 week old who is refusing to sleep.  I have plenty of pumped breast milk I could give him, but was feeling guilty for not breastfeeding him for the third time in three hours.  I think I’ll give in and give him the bottle so we both sleep (although as I typed this he just had a big BM. Maybe working on getting that out was contributing to his wiggles and fussiness.)

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24 minutes ago, mhainlen said:

I needed to read your advice. I’m sitting here reading this at 3am with my 2 week old who is refusing to sleep.  I have plenty of pumped breast milk I could give him, but was feeling guilty for not breastfeeding him for the third time in three hours.  I think I’ll give in and give him the bottle so we both sleep (although as I typed this he just had a big BM. Maybe working on getting that out was contributing to his wiggles and fussiness.)

Sounds like your baby is cluster feeding! Totally normal, and I promise, it will pass very soon. I hope the bottle helps and you can get some rest!!

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1 hour ago, mhainlen said:

I needed to read your advice. I’m sitting here reading this at 3am with my 2 week old who is refusing to sleep.  I have plenty of pumped breast milk I could give him, but was feeling guilty for not breastfeeding him for the third time in three hours.  I think I’ll give in and give him the bottle so we both sleep (although as I typed this he just had a big BM. Maybe working on getting that out was contributing to his wiggles and fussiness.)

Two of my three had trouble sleeping when they needed to have a bowel movement. Hope you get sleep soon!

My stubborn middle child refused to take a bottle. He would get angry if someone tried to give him one. I was so thankful when he started cooperating with sippy cups.

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Usually people start to introduce food around 6 months in the US. And I just read the advice is now different and you shouldn’t wait to introduce common allergy foods. Some people would wait quite awhile for the common allergy foods like peanut butter. She could definitely introduce foods at 8 months. They might not eat a ton of food but they could try it and see if they like it. 

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