Maxwell 45: Steve Flaunting His Vest Deferens

[RachelDM]

What. Is. This?!

I have been led to believe pizza cutters were used to chop lettuce in the Maxwell household. But nary a pizza cutter in sight! I am scandalized! (I did legitimately gasp) I guess we now know why the infamous pizza cutter post never materialized.

[fundiefan]

17 minutes ago, sparkles said:

Well, it wasn't much of a surprise since Steve and Teri knew so you can be damned sure it WAS scheduled. 

 

Yup, this. Steve & Teri knew they were coming. It was definitely on the schedule, even if not on "the girl's" schedules. Steve knew, they planned it, it was timed to be during "bible time", it was all one big plan that only the adult women, under 60, in the house didn't know about. I don't think for a second Jesse would plan to show up unannounced, or unapproved, during bible time. He grew up in that house, he knows the schedule, he knows what Steve would & would not accept. 

[louannems]

I'm surprised Sarah didn't mention her dog barking when the visitors let themselves in.  Don't all dogs do that?

It's nice to see Anna still has a flat belly.

[kpmom]

44 minutes ago, louannems said:

I'm surprised Sarah didn't mention her dog barking when the visitors let themselves in.  Don't all dogs do that?

 

Heck, my dog would be barking when 3nna and Jesse's  tires just barely touched the driveway.

[MamaJunebug]

What’s a WOD? 
As in, “these 4 did our usual Christmas WOD”?

Also, hearing the door but no announcement - id have been checking that out! Bad things happen even in righteous-family compounds in small quiet little cities like Leavenworth, KS!!

But these are Maxwells, so let the meanies come in and wreak havoc. Must not show lack of faith by excusing oneself from evening Bible time even to make sure one’s home is secure! 
 

Nimnodes, JMHO. 

[deborahlynn1979]

Thank God Jesse and Anna are prominently holding hands, lest we forget they are married. The way every single couple has to hold hands or be embracing in every single photo makes me nuts.

[kpmom]

1 hour ago, MamaJunebug said:

What’s a WOD? 
As in, “these 4 did our usual Christmas WOD”?

 

 

Apparently it stands for Workout of the Day.  It'd be nice if author Sarah would explain things like this a little more.

[Joe Pukepail]

10 hours ago, Bettyhere said:

I came here this morning just to see who would take the title of the new post in a smutty way ... exactly like I did..

honestly ... I thought I was past juvenile sniggering ?  it seems not ! 

I KNOW I'm not past juvenile sniggering. I acknowledge it and freely embrace my inner 12 year old boy. This line is killing me. 

"Pulled one off". Heh heh heh. ☺️?

[freejugar]

2 hours ago, kpmom said:

Apparently it stands for Workout of the Day.  It'd be nice if author Sarah would explain things like this a little more.

Since she never interacts with anyone outside her family, she never has to explain anything, so she forgets the reader is not a Maxwell and needs to be explained certain things like "this-n-that" and WOD

Why does Sarah keep posting things christmas things when it's February already?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

She honestly wrote this?
"“Hello, it’s Sarah,” (or insert the name)"

1 minute ago, freejugar said:

Since she never interacts with anyone outside her family, she never has to explain anything, so she forgets the reader is not a Maxwell and needs to be explained certain things like "this-n-that" and WOD

Why does Sarah keep posting things christmas things when it's February already?

She's building a narrative...badly.....lol

[Black Aliss]

9 hours ago, RachelDM said:

What. Is. This?!

I have been led to believe pizza cutters were used to chop lettuce in the Maxwell household. But nary a pizza cutter in sight! I am scandalized! (I did legitimately gasp) I guess we now know why the infamous pizza cutter post never materialized.

It seems to me if you're going to laboriously remove the center ribs from your head of romaine (and why?) you might as well go ahead and use the knife to cut up the leaves, if you don't want to tear them up by hand.

[becky_m2001]

19 hours ago, ophelia said:

I knew that Brandon had older (by fundie standards) unmarried sisters, but I just now read that one of his sisters was in her 40s when she married. Never heard of a first marriage that late in life in fundieworld.

I was surprised at Angie's age as well. I figured she was in her mid-late 30's when she married.

Just for reference Brandon's other unmarried siblings are Alison (39), Cara (33), Christy (30), and Amber (28)

[Bluebirdbluebell]

21 hours ago, ophelia said:

My pregnant-always-hungry-self really wants that pistachio thing now. Damn!

@becky_m2001 I knew that Brandon had older (by fundie standards) unmarried sisters, but I just now read that one of his sisters was in her 40s when she married. Never heard of a first marriage that late in life in fundieworld.

I thought his sister was 45, but the Keilens may not be fundie or as fundie as others. 

Sarah Mally got married last May to Andrew Hancock. She was 41. 

I always think there is a chance someone can get married. Having kids is a different story. 

[Black Aliss]

13 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I always think there is a chance someone can get married. Having kids is a different story. 

IMO, that is the best possible outcome--they get to be grownups (for that value of grownup that applies to fundie wives) for the last half of their lives, but they don't bring more baby fundies into the world.

[becky_m2001]

1 hour ago, Black Aliss said:

IMO, that is the best possible outcome--they get to be grownups (for that value of grownup that applies to fundie wives) for the last half of their lives, but they don't bring more baby fundies into the world.

Angie Keilen did it right marrying a man with two kids who were college age. She can have the fun of being step-mom (and possibly step-grandma) without going through the trouble of raising kids for 18 years.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

15 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Sarah Mally got married last May to Andrew Hancock. She was 41. 

I hope she gets to have a baby--she's waited so long and probably focused on that. It's a rare pastor's family that remains childless.

[fundiewatch]

Someone posted in the blog comments that they are expecting a pregnancy announcement from Jesse and Anna, and another reader echoed that. Sarah replied that they are waiting and that God’s time is perfect. I’m suuuper surprised they let that through. It’s a very sex-adjacent topic. 

[MomJeans]

1 hour ago, becky_m2001 said:

Angie Keilen did it right marrying a man with two kids who were college age. She can have the fun of being step-mom (and possibly step-grandma) without going through the trouble of raising kids for 18 years.

Being a step-mom is awesome! 

(I feel for anyone that has fertility issues- I did, and bio-kids were not a possibility. But I wouldn't trade anything for my step-kids.  I am super-lucky. ? )

I am also shocked Sarah responded to the comment re: a baby announcement.  I wonder if Steve will actually delete the entire exchange. Seems way too warm and friendly for the Maxwells.

[Black Aliss]

On 2/1/2021 at 11:11 AM, kpmom said:

Apparently it stands for Workout of the Day. 

A term that, as far as I know, comes directly from Cross-Fit. If so, it confirms that at least one member of the Max Borg (my money is on Nate and Jesse) used to go to a Cross-Fit gym. Some of the exercises the "girls" do also bear a striking resemblance to Cross-Fit routines.

On 2/1/2021 at 9:23 AM, MamaJunebug said:

Also, hearing the door but no announcement - id have been checking that out! Bad things happen even in righteous-family compounds in small quiet little cities like Leavenworth, KS!!

At least the Maxwells don't practice for home invasions (with live ammo) like that unfortunate fundie couple* in Nebraska some years ago. I have forgotten their names. Anyway, something like that could have ended in tears.

*unfortunate for the wife; IIRC her husband got off with not much more than a slap on the wrist, and was able to remarry not long after.

[MamaJunebug]

36 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

A term that, as far as I know, comes directly from Cross-Fit. If so, it confirms that at least one member of the Max Borg (my money is on Nate and Jesse) used to go to a Cross-Fit gym. Some of the exercises the "girls" do also bear a striking resemblance to Cross-Fit routines.

At least the Maxwells don't practice for home invasions (with live ammo) like that unfortunate fundie couple* in Nebraska some years ago. I have forgotten their names. Anyway, something like that could have ended in tears.

*unfortunate for the wife; IIRC her husband got off with not much more than a slap on the wrist, and was able to remarry not long after.

Have we ever seen armed Maxwell’s? 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

3 hours ago, fundiewatch said:

Someone posted in the blog comments that they are expecting a pregnancy announcement from Jesse and Anna, and another reader echoed that. Sarah replied that they are waiting and that God’s time is perfect. I’m suuuper surprised they let that through. It’s a very sex-adjacent topic. 

Now are they waiting until she is pregnant or are they just waiting to make an announcement?

It wouldn't surprise me either way. Joe and Elissa like to wait to announce a pregnancy. 

I agree that's very surprising to me that Sarah shared such personal information. Maybe it's a teaser that the announcement is coming soon!

[LilMissMetaphor]

Next will be a homeschooling eraser post titled: Mistakes, when was the last time you rubbed one out?

[mango_fandango]

Sarah is a lot more friendly in her comment replies than Steve is. 
I also feel like a baby is inevitable. I’m kind of interested to see what sort of name they would go with. I feel they’d go with traditional/Biblical/family names. 

[CyborgKin]

Church Music - When was the last time you played the organ?

[Black Aliss]

19 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Have we ever seen armed Maxwell’s? 

Not that I know of. It may be one of the few ways they are less nutty than your average fundie. <low bar> 

13 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Church Music - When was the last time you played the organ?

I'll just leave this here in case the spirit moves someone to make a Maxwell bingo card. https://www.yahoo.com/news/nice-50-funniest-euphemisms-masturbation-155315935.html