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Maxwell 45: Steve Flaunting His Vest Deferens


Coconut Flan

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allyisyourpally5

it’s amazing how Jesus had the time to give Maxwell kids basic ideas when so many children live in total dire straights situations, you know like poverty, abuse, war......no wonder they’re stuck, Jesus is constantly at the Maxwell house.

 

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To clarify, Sarah didn’t say Jesse and Anna are waiting to have kids, but instead said it will be wonderful when they have an announcement.  What really got me is that Sarah heard a suspicious so

What. Is. This?! I have been led to believe pizza cutters were used to chop lettuce in the Maxwell household. But nary a pizza cutter in sight! I am scandalized! (I did legitimately gasp) I guess

The dog has one 15-minute block each day during which she is permitted to bark.

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Coconut Flan

The receptionist at the beauty salon had an easy version.  Use refrigerated cookie dough patted out for the crust, make the pudding as directed to match the cookie base, and use the pre-made cheesecake filling instead of messing with the cream cheese.  

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JulineD
On 1/29/2021 at 9:56 AM, freethemall said:

That's the face of a mom trying to smile through a crap dinner knowing she'll need to eat something else after while cleaning up a big mess in the kitchen. Cute idea though, I guess.

nathanmelanieanniversary-copy.jpg

I know it probably isn't...but it sure looks like a full glass of red wine next to Melanie! 

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Jana814
11 minutes ago, JulineD said:

I know it probably isn't...but it sure looks like a full glass of red wine next to Melanie! 

It definitely does. 

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Black Aliss
1 hour ago, JulineD said:

I know it probably isn't...but it sure looks like a full glass of red wine next to Melanie! 

I have this fantasy that Melanie came back from a visit to her doctor and told Nathan, "Doctor says if I ever hope to conceive again I have to drink 8 ounces of red wine every day."

Edited by Black Aliss
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Bluebirdbluebell

It looks more like Pepsi to me!

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FloraKitty35
3 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

it’s amazing how Jesus had the time to give Maxwell kids basic ideas when so many children live in total dire straights situations, you know like poverty, abuse, war......no wonder they’re stuck, Jesus is constantly at the Maxwell house.

 

and even he's been trying figure a way out of there.

Edited by FloraKitty35
grammar
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Black Aliss
40 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

It looks more like Pepsi to me!

killjoy

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church_of_dog
5 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

killjoy

Actually, Pepsi is quite scandalous in Maxhell! 

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louannems
9 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

I know this dessert with chocolate pudding and chocolate chips.  It was called Sin when it was passed along to me.  The Maxwells would not take well to that.

When I googled This and That dessert, what popped up was Better Than Sex dessert!  Also the Robert Redford dessert.  I'm thinking Steve changed the name to This and That.

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JulineD
2 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

It looks more like Pepsi to me!

Which in their world is probably worse! 

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Joe Pukepail
9 hours ago, NoseyNellie said:

When I googled the ingredients for a recipe the one site talked about this dessert also being knowns as * better than sex* which gave me a big chuckle.. cause the dessert I have always made known as Better than sex was:

Bake a 9*13 chocolate cake.  While still warm poke it full of holes- either with larger straw or end of a chopstick.. Pour the majority of a warmed jar of hot fudge sauce and a warmed jar of caramel sauce over top.  When the cake is cooled top with cool whip or homemade whipped cream.  Stream the remainder of the sauces over the top to decorate and then top with chopped up heath or score bars!  

I want to give this a sick face react but I don't want you to think I'm disgusted with you!

I just don't have a sweet tooth. Never have. Now, salty crunchy crap is another story. You shouldn't trust me alone with the bag of chips.

3 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

I have this fantasy that Melanie came back from a visit to her doctor and told Nathan, "Doctor says if I ever hope to conceive again I have to drink 8 ounces of red wine every day."

8 ounces of red wine and exactly one uninterrupted hour spent entirely by herself, in complete silence if she so chooses (wouldn't you?). 😆

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becky_m2001

Some people were on here earlier in the thread discussing the possibility (or lack thereof) of Sarah Maxwell ever getting married. She just turned 39, which is considered old age by fundie standards, but I just watched a video on Facebook about Brandon Keilen's sister Angie and her husband. Angie was 46 when she married for the first time so, in my opinion, that means that the door isn't entirely closed on that avenue for Sarah or her sisters.

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courtlylove
56 minutes ago, Joe Pukepail said:

I just don't have a sweet tooth. Never have. Now, salty crunchy crap is another story. You shouldn't trust me alone with the bag of chips.

Same here!

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freethemall
13 hours ago, Bethy said:

It's similar. I have Spring with the Moodys so here's the actual recipe from the book:

FIRST LAYER

1 1/2 packages graham crackers, crushed
1 stick of butter, melted

Crush graham crackers with a rolling pin until they become thick crumbs. Melt the butter. Mix the cracker crumbs and butter together, then spread evenly in the bottom of a 9x13 pan. Set the pan in the freezer to harden while the next layer is being mixed.

SECOND LAYER

1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup Cool Whip (purchase large container of Cool Whip; use the extra as the topping)
8 ounce package cream cheese

Soften cream cheese. Mix cream cheese, Cool Whip, and powdered sugar together until smooth. Take crust out of freezer and spread Cool Whip mixture evenly on the crust. Set in the refrigerator.

THIRD LAYER

2 small packages butterscotch instant pudding
3 3/4 cups cold milk

Pour pudding mix into a bowl and add milk. Beat until thoroughly mixed. Pour mixture onto the next layer. Put the pan back into the refrigerator until the pudding is firm, about a half hour.

Spread the extra Cool Whip as the final layer. Place in refrigerator.

So it sounds like a butterscotch pudding pie, though rectangular

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ophelia
10 hours ago, Hane said:

My cousin often makes a version of this dessert, which we call “that pistachio thing,” for cookouts. We all look forward to it!

My pregnant-always-hungry-self really wants that pistachio thing now. Damn!

@becky_m2001 I knew that Brandon had older (by fundie standards) unmarried sisters, but I just now read that one of his sisters was in her 40s when she married. Never heard of a first marriage that late in life in fundieworld.

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Captain Obvious

Look I know we know far too much about Steve's vas deferens but this is taking it to a ridiculous level.

SharedScreenshot.jpg.a65ae0e4631beb22bb784e9a8b891f22.jpg

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bluelady
20 hours ago, NoseyNellie said:

I hate butterscotch but have made desserts like this with chocolate and it is yum!  Not a daily thing but enjoyable as a treat!  

We also do this with pistachio pudding.  Definitely a treat, but one of my favs!

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GreenBeans
1 hour ago, Captain Obvious said:

Look I know we know far too much about Steve's vas deferens but this is taking it to a ridiculous level.

SharedScreenshot.jpg.a65ae0e4631beb22bb784e9a8b891f22.jpg

Oh my. 😂
 

The stilted writing is just... I’m at a loss for words, don’t they SEE how ridiculous (and, at times, involuntarily funny) these blog posts sound? English isn’t even my native language, and even I register the occasional unintended innuendo and how plain odd everything sounds.

Edited by GreenBeans
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Bettyhere

I came here this morning just to see who would take the title of the new post in a smutty way ... exactly like I did..

honestly ... I thought I was past juvenile sniggering 🤣  it seems not ! 

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mango_fandango

At least Sarah acknowledged that not everyone likes surprises.

I wouldn’t have thought that surprises would be that common in Maxhell, given their obsession with scheduling and knowing exactly what’s going to happen when.

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SPHASH

I thought the surprise was kind of lame.  Jesse and Anna spending a few days with them, big deal.  And when visiting the other brother's homes sounds like they don't even wait for them to answer the door after knocking.

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fundiefan

Sarah couldn't tell a story to save her life. It's been said to death, but for someone who claims to be a writer - even though we know she claims that title because daddy wanted someone to write things his way - she is pathetically miserable at creating stories. 

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sparkles
3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

At least Sarah acknowledged that not everyone likes surprises.

I wouldn’t have thought that surprises would be that common in Maxhell, given their obsession with scheduling and knowing exactly what’s going to happen when.

Well, it wasn't much of a surprise since Steve and Teri knew so you can be damned sure it WAS scheduled. 

A surprise would be "Hey SarahAnnaMary, we arranged it so that your schedules are clear for the next few days and we're sending you on an all-expenses paid vacation!" Not "Your brother and sister-in-law, people you normally see on a fairly regular basis even though they've moved 30 minutes away, are coming to stay the night." Only the Maxwells would make a big honking deal out of this.

Edited because just once, ONCE, I would like catch all my typos BEFORE I post. 🙄

Edited by sparkles
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