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Maxwell 45: Steve Flaunting His Vest Deferens


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Jingerale
12 minutes ago, browngrl said:

Thanks! I really should have paid better attention but in my defence - I've been mesmerized by the Impeachment part 2 so that is where my thoughts are. Anyway reading this post prompted me to go back to the 2006-2008 years on the Maxwell Blog. Those really were different times for the Maxwells and fundies in general. 

Oh Lord - I read your reply as "but in my deferens" because of reading the thread title in the post above yours! I think I, too, need to step away from the tv and should perhaps head to the prayer closet.

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fundiewatch
45 minutes ago, adidas said:

I hope the unmarried adult girls *chose* to sit with the children. 

Of course they did! Legitimately, they have no hope of having their own families, very little hope at least. 

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jakesykora
1 hour ago, browngrl said:

Thanks! I really should have paid better attention but in my defence - I've been mesmerized by the Impeachment part 2 so that is where my thoughts are. Anyway reading this post prompted me to go back to the 2006-2008 years on the Maxwell Blog. Those really were different times for the Maxwells and fundies in general. 

I got sucked back in those old posts as well when I went hunting for the cayenne and cheese paper ones!

It sure feels like obligation blogging now, or at least most every time someone other than Anna posts. She at least seems to write because she wants/likes to, unlike, well, the one who is writing books...

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smittykins
11 hours ago, adidas said:

I hope the unmarried adult girls *chose* to sit with the children. 

I’m getting “A Very Brady Christmas” vibes(college student Cindy is relegated to “the kids’ table for the family celebration).

Disclaimer: I may or may not have purchased “The Brady Bunch 50th Anniversary Collection” DVD set this past week...:embarrassed:

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Divemaster01
1 hour ago, smittykins said:

Disclaimer: I may or may not have purchased “The Brady Bunch 50th Anniversary Collection” DVD set this past week...:embarrassed:

Sounds great, I have the Brady Kids set 😂

 

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allyisyourpally5
12 hours ago, jakesykora said:

I got sucked back in those old posts as well when I went hunting for the cayenne and cheese paper ones!

It sure feels like obligation blogging now, or at least most every time someone other than Anna posts. She at least seems to write because she wants/likes to, unlike, well, the one who is writing books...

How long do you think the blog will last?

They don’t tour anymore. Their original following of families are now all grown up. So unless the “original” schedule children / chore pack kids are living the same way, they need to find a new audience. They self publish and I can’t imagine the orders rolling in at a rate they can’t keep up with. They obviously have some audience but they’re just sooooo not up to date in too many ways. The Family Blog life isn’t the money maker now - most families have moved to social media. Now if the Maxwells had an Instagram and hashtagged their events they could probably broaden their audience - even the most isolated homeschool evangelicals are on Instagram. They would probably attract through Duggar fans for example.

The problem

with the Maxwells is they’re just that bit too far over the line - in every respect. That bit too old fashioned. That bit too isolated. Their life style is actually quite unrealistic - the house buying rules, the women working but not really, no school no friends no children’s anything and until last year no real church. 
 

I wonder if the girls not being married is affecting them for real? I know we talk about it but I genuinely wonder how many families have followed the Maxwell method and are now witnessing the lack of marriage for the daughters and are “loosening” the strings on their own situation to avoid the same?

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RachelDM
13 hours ago, adidas said:

I hope the unmarried adult girls *chose* to sit with the children. 

If I had to spend every other dull meal with Steve and Teri , I'd be delighted to have some fun at the kids' table with my nieces and nephews, tbh. 

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NancyDrewFan1989
12 minutes ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

How long do you think the blog will last?

They don’t tour anymore. Their original following of families are now all grown up. So unless the “original” schedule children / chore pack kids are living the same way, they need to find a new audience. They self publish and I can’t imagine the orders rolling in at a rate they can’t keep up with. They obviously have some audience but they’re just sooooo not up to date in too many ways. The Family Blog life isn’t the money maker now - most families have moved to social media. Now if the Maxwells had an Instagram and hashtagged their events they could probably broaden their audience - even the most isolated homeschool evangelicals are on Instagram. They would probably attract through Duggar fans for example.

The problem

with the Maxwells is they’re just that bit too far over the line - in every respect. That bit too old fashioned. That bit too isolated. Their life style is actually quite unrealistic - the house buying rules, the women working but not really, no school no friends no children’s anything and until last year no real church. 
 

I wonder if the girls not being married is affecting them for real? I know we talk about it but I genuinely wonder how many families have followed the Maxwell method and are now witnessing the lack of marriage for the daughters and are “loosening” the strings on their own situation to avoid the same?

Honestly, for a while. The only Maxwell that has a social media account is Chelsy on Instagram and her account is private. The only place they can go to advertise their products and make money through Amazon is the blog. The Maxwells already had a strong following before the rise of social media, so it makes sense in their isolated world that they wouldn't need it.

As for touring, Steve and Teri still do speaking engagements, they just aren't doing them like they used to since they got rid of Uriah. They've just limited the amount of engagements they do and where they go. 

As for the girls not being married, I believe it will affect them to some extent, but not that much. I don't believe that the married sons will leave their sisters out in the cold to starve. Sarah and Anna already do work for their brothers, I'm not sure about Mary though. Chances are they will continue to do that and let them babysit in exchange for room and board.

Also, Sarah does seem to be quite popular in the fundie world with her books. I wouldn't be surprised if once Ellie passes away she tries to do a book tour of some sort with her parents and possible sisters. I only feel this way because Sarah used to travel with Steve and Teri before she got Ellie where she would sell her books. Since she got Ellie, the only times she's really ever traveled out of state is to Colorado and to family weddings. 

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IReallyAmHopewell
3 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

The Family Blog life isn’t the money maker now - most families have moved to social media. Now if the Maxwells had an Instagram and hashtagged their events they could probably broaden their audience - even the most isolated homeschool evangelicals are on Instagram.

Honestly, I'm surprised they don't have a basic Instagram presence--they jumped on the blog thing right away and they supposedly have an IT company and lots of contacts with folks on Instagram. I would think they'd market through there now as well as the blog for longer, more personal posts. There is still a market for both esp among those who are over 40.

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ElizaB

I think that they are hoping Anna and Christopher's family are going to take over the blog one day. 

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Bethy
2 hours ago, ElizaB said:

I think that they are hoping Anna and Christopher's family are going to take over the blog one day. 

From what we've seen this year, Anna Marie is a much better writer with a much warmer, more engaging tone. But their lifestyle is so much more narrow even than the mothership these days. I don't know how much reach they'd really have. As more fundies start to meander towards pants for women, will they find the prairie fashions on Anna Marie's girls appealing or appalling? Plus, as has been noted above, the unmarried aunts and their ceiling-fan-cleaning schedules are going to cast a long shadow on any blogging they do. Families may start chucking their copies of "Keeping Our Children's Hearts" if they connect the dots and realize this is the likely outcome.

They would do better than some of the reversals at carrying on the ministry focus of the blog. Joe and his family seem to value privacy, and Jesse and Anna are a wild card since they've been together for a much shorter period of time. Chelsy does blog but she seems to write for herself and her friends - "my pregnancy clothing must-haves" and "how I chose my bridesmaids" are fine if you're just sharing your life in a personal blog (which is what she's doing - I'm not throwing shade) but doesn't seem to fit the established Maxwell template. Nate and his family don't seem super interested in blogging though I think with their more modern-modest fashion sense and the fact that they do rub shoulders with much less-fundie relatives they would have a broader appeal while being able to keep the ministry focus.

I just realized that, save for Sarah and the Maxwell memoirs Moody series, no one else in that generation is writing books. No one but Sarah is really blogging much - though I do remember Christopher publishing some essays on various topics on the family blog prior to his marriage. As Steve and Teri's tomes become more dated, who will fill the void? Anna could probably write a beautiful memoir on going through cancer as a mom. Christopher could probably write about supporting your spouse through a cancer battle, though he'd need an editor to help soften his stiff, preachy tone. As their kids grow, maybe Nate and Mel could write articles or even a book on managing a large family, and maybe reach out to families who are dealing with infant loss.

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Botkinetti

I believe that Steve is egotistical enough to think his words are timeless and petty enough to discourage better writers from publishing on the family blog.

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Lgirlrocks

I think in many ways the girls aren’t okay. They were taught their whole childhood that a women’s roll is to marry and have kids. Their parents manipulated them into believing that they couldn’t go to college, or leave the house until they are married. So far none of them have. They still have to share a room, stick to a schedule, do chores (yes most adults clean up after themselves these girls are doing it for their parents), babysit, work for a family member, get everything they want to do approved, go to bed early, wake up early, and many more things. It must be degrading to be an adult but treated like a little kid. Do their parents till put them in time out if they say no to something? Do they fee they have to say yes? It just seems like too much pressure. 

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Bethy
29 minutes ago, Botkinetti said:

I believe that Steve is egotistical enough to think his words are timeless and petty enough to discourage better writers from publishing on the family blog.

Ah, so maybe no other books have been written (except Sarah's fictionalized accounts of their everyday lives) because nobody else is worthy to have how-to-do-life books published alongside Steve's.

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Coconut Flan

Yes, it's only a question of when to fold the tent.  When Steve turns 70?  75?  When they haven't had a book order in six months? Will they have to hang onto it until Steve dies?  Is Sarah going to have to keep on churning out books to keep a semblance of activity going?

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Hane

Today’s post made me want to scream. People are looking for audiobook recommendations, and the Maxhell default is sermons! On the heels of Teri’s announcement that she and Stevehovah actively discouraged their kids’ reading for pleasure, I just plain can’t even.

I know that not everyone is a bookworm, or may struggle with dyslexia, but, dammit, this is where Teri and Stevehovah’s black-and-white thinking works to their family’s cognitive disadvantage. (This tendency may have led them to majoring in the sciences—no offense to science majors who are creative thinkers!) Reading a wide range of fiction and nonfiction (via text or audio) opens the doors beyond entertainment and education to creative thinking, emotional awareness, and problem-solving skills. But then—oh God—what if such thinking skills lead them to analyzing and questioning what they’ve been taught? Can’t have that!

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sparkles
3 hours ago, Bethy said:

Ah, so maybe no other books have been written (except Sarah's fictionalized accounts of their everyday lives) because nobody else is worthy to have how-to-do-life books published alongside Steve's.

I don't think anyone else is interested, frankly. We only really get a look at Joseph's business but still, all of the MaxMales seem to have fairly well established careers outside of the Borg hive. (I don't know that Jesse has any stake on SwiftOtter but he appears to be second to Joseph and I could easily see him starting his own company down the line.) Christopher is the only one who's a question mark. He's like the boss's kid who really isn't good at anything but everyone pretends he's a valuable employee because he's the boss's kid. Whatever he's doing though, apparently it's enough to take care of his family. He's the only one I could see taking over but even though I think he rivals Steve in the self-righteous prig department he has none of Steve's forceful personality. And I can't see him being willing to risk taking on the business full-time. I'm pretty sure Steve had the fallback of a settlement when he was "called home" to build up Titus2. I doubt Chris has that luxury. And I also doubt that Anna wants to become the chief blogger either, especially with her health concerns and 6(?) kids under 10 to deal with.

I do think Sarah will keep writing and their other products will continue for a while, but I don't see Titus 2 lasting into a second generation.

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allyisyourpally5

I also don’t believe the girls will be left out in the cold, my comment was more about how them being at home is going to cause problems to the brand, and people looking in thinking this is a great idea will, as someone else said, look a bit more carefully at “keeping their child’s heart” and step away.

I question the girls true happiness. I also wonder if they essentially feel “punishment” if they dare question, think negatively etc. Not in a physical or child form (like time out) but they’re effectively grounded and I bet the guilt they must have placed on their shoulders is huge.

 

I also believe Steve likely had a settlement amount to rest on when he “was called home” and that’s what makes their lives that bit more unachievable and unrealistic for so many. Would Steve and Teri have the comforts they do now, like their decent sized home and land, up to date technology etc if Steve hadn’t loved the life he did before they became so extreme, the very life he forbids his children to have? I very much doubt it

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Bethy
10 minutes ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

I question the girls true happiness. I also wonder if they essentially feel “punishment” if they dare question, think negatively etc. Not in a physical or child form (like time out) but they’re effectively grounded and I bet the guilt they must have placed on their shoulders is huge.

This.

And it's not a physical form of punishment like a child's timeout. It's an indefinite infantilization where they're viewed as children until they marry, prevented from marrying, and undoubtedly taught to fear that if they disagree with their parents, even if it's just in their minds and they never verbalize it, God will judge/punish them. (Witness the Moody family's constant apologies to one another for unkind or negative THOUGHTS toward each other.)

I honestly wonder if any of them believe their own "misbehavior" has precluded their chances of marriage. Sarah especially. We know from some of Teri's less-kind blog posts that she views Sarah as selfish/ungrateful. Don't think that doesn't get internalized. Therapy is great for this, BTW, but they'll never have any.

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FloraKitty35

Teri Lady White Adder’s  recommending some audiobooks.  Even the book titles sound depressing.   

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fundiewatch
3 hours ago, Bethy said:

We know from some of Teri's less-kind blog posts that she views Sarah as selfish/ungrateful. Don't think that doesn't get internalized. Therapy is great for this, BTW, but they'll never have any.

Sarah herself has said she lacks gratefulness. I think there is a lot of gaslighting going on in that family. I feel so badly for Sarah. Blogging and photographing their travels/conferences was a big part of her identity. Now the reversal boys are married, the idea she’ll marry is gone, and she’s left with less and less to point to as her life, her identity. I also think she’s prone to Terri’s depression. 

2670687B-5876-4ACA-B1A3-8112437E573A.png

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ElizaB

Sarah is interesting to me and I can't quite decide how to feel about her. In some respects- think of an almost 40 year old living at home with her parents without a real job. She doesn't pay rent or for her own food. Now, normally I would judge her as a "free-loader." However, she isn't allowed to get a job or move out and her parents have put her in this situation. So this obviously shifts her into a completely different light. 

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freejugar

Out of all the comments, this is the one they decided to answer?

They're always replying to comments like "we'll do a post about that in the future" but never do. Let's not forget the pizza cutter lettuce tip.

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Bethy
18 hours ago, ElizaB said:

Sarah is interesting to me and I can't quite decide how to feel about her. In some respects- think of an almost 40 year old living at home with her parents without a real job. She doesn't pay rent or for her own food. Now, normally I would judge her as a "free-loader." However, she isn't allowed to get a job or move out and her parents have put her in this situation. So this obviously shifts her into a completely different light. 

I don't really hold her situation against her. Like I said before, the girls can't leave until they marry and they're not allowed to marry. They're uneducated and lack any practical life experience that would enable them to make it in the outside world, and scared to death to leave the compound for fear their family - and God - will turn away from them forever. (I wonder if they even know about Alecia Pennington's struggle to break free?)

I lived with my parents for a year after college, when it took longer than planned to get a job in the field I'd gone to college for - so I was stuck working a crappy not-quite-full-time job that paid enough to support my college debt payments but not enough to get me a car and insurance. I got treated like a young teenager and it was really awful. The saving grace was, I knew eventually I'd find a job and get an apartment - whether I ever got a husband or not - and be out on my own. I knew I had the necessary skills to get a job that would support me and every confidence that I could live independently.

Sarah doesn't have any of that hope. She's stuck. 

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allyisyourpally5
1 hour ago, Bethy said:

I don't really hold her situation against her. Like I said before, the girls can't leave until they marry and they're not allowed to marry. They're uneducated and lack any practical life experience that would enable them to make it in the outside world, and scared to death to leave the compound for fear their family - and God - will turn away from them forever. (I wonder if they even know about Alecia Pennington's struggle to break free?)

I lived with my parents for a year after college, when it took longer than planned to get a job in the field I'd gone to college for - so I was stuck working a crappy not-quite-full-time job that paid enough to support my college debt payments but not enough to get me a car and insurance. I got treated like a young teenager and it was really awful. The saving grace was, I knew eventually I'd find a job and get an apartment - whether I ever got a husband or not - and be out on my own. I knew I had the necessary skills to get a job that would support me and every confidence that I could live independently.

Sarah doesn't have any of that hope. She's stuck. 

I understand this. I also had to move back home after university. This was actually when I came out to America and stayed for two years. 
But once I came home from the States I had to move back home because I needed to save. I was very lucky that my parents decided not to charge me rent but I was expected to save. I was welcome to eat the meals but if I wanted something different I bought it myself. I paid my own phone and clothes and basically paid for my own life. My dad definitely sometimes went into over protective mode out of habit - but I had my total freedom and just out of respect I was asked to text home if I wasn’t coming back that night etc, which I think was fair.

But like you I also had the hope and expectation that this wouldn’t be forever and at 24 I moved out into my own home (so two years at home post graduation and living in America). I’m living my life as a single woman (although I’m in lockdown right now so it’s pretty dull!) and I’m doing fine! My dad can still be overprotective but it’s only in a nice way (and if anything it often results in free food ) 

The three daughters have just been stilted so much. I don’t see how everyone in that family can look in and think this is ok. A woman who’s nearly 40 still sharing a room with her adult sisters? What does Gigi honestly think? Mel? Does she want that for her girls? Aunt Tami? 

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