This Poem Would Keep Most Girls From Getting Married

[debrand]

baylyblog.com/2008/08/i-think-you-wan.html

I've course this poem came from the Bayly blog. I'm just copying the second half of the poem. There is something troubling about comparing a marriage to death.

Will you be a wife?

Lay

you in the casket

To be one man's

Help

Mate

To follow

respect

submit

obey

Will you stand behind a man?

Purge

you of dignity

you of self-determination

Will you be weak

so He will be strong?

Will you be a wife?

to

one

man

Rid

you of ambition

He

is you now

u

disappear

-Mrs. Joseph Tate Bayly VI

[VeraAnne]

I think it's a play on the "dying to self" idea in Christianity, but yeah, I agree that the poems not a glowing endorsement of marriage.

[NurseNell]

Hell no, I'd be running so fast the other way! :animals-dogrun: :character-luigi:

[Deleted12]

My understanding is that all Christians should follow one man and one man alone: Jesus.

[Kitty]

That has got to be by far the worst poem I've ever read.

There's no rhythm at all. It's stilted. It looks like the writer just pressed the enter key whenever they wanted to.

But beyond that, oh hell yeah this would turn me off marriage if I were a fundy.

[Dev83]

If my marriage was like that I would be in a casket, because I would have jumped off a building.

[emmyfair]

That's pretty painful. Wow.

[ridethekick]

*edges away slowly*

[Austin]

Is the author a wife or mother of the Brothers Bayly?

[debrand]

Is the author a wife or mother of the Brothers Bayly?

I think mother-in-law

[doe]

Whoa, that poem just comes right out and says it all, doesn't it?! There's no double speak or deceiving language to show a woman's place. That sounds worse than the Obedient to my Husband woman.

[MonkeyMomma]

The server is not responding, so I can't read the whole post, but dang, that's the saddest poem I've ever read, both in content and quality.

[slh12280]

Eww so I have to disappear in order to get married. What kind of messed up ideology is this? Yeah, if I met a guy that liked this poem there would be no wedding.

[Kitty]

Whoa, that poem just comes right out and says it all, doesn't it?! There's no double speak or deceiving language to show a woman's place. That sounds worse than the Obedient to my Husband woman.

I thought the writer is in fact incredibly sick of being Ofjoseph. That marriage is basically a death sentence.

FFS I do not understand women who sign "Mrs. Husband's Name". You don't even have your own fucking name anymore...

[MonkeyMomma]

FFS I do not understand women who sign "Mrs. Husband's Name". You don't even have your own fucking name anymore...

This is my biggest pet peeve. It drives me crazy, especially when I see it on women younger than me (I'm in my late 20's).

... Well, second biggest, right after members of my family sending things to my husband and I at Mr. & Mrs. Hisname Lastname ... when he and I don't even share a last name.

[dairyfreelife]

*edges away slowly*

Following suit. :shifty:

[myanimus]

This is my biggest pet peeve. It drives me crazy, especially when I see it on women younger than me (I'm in my late 20's).

... Well, second biggest, right after members of my family sending things to my husband and I at Mr. & Mrs. Hisname Lastname ... when he and I don't even share a last name.

I like it but then again I've never really liked my own name so maybe that's why...

[GenerationCedarchip]

Yikes! That poem is one of the most truly depressing pictures of marriage I've ever seen. I know a scary number of marriages(fundie and non) that work that way but thankfully not everyone thinks like this.

[JesusFightClub]

That would keep me from MEN.

The Bayly lot remove the cutesy veneer fundies generally put on fundy marriage, don't they. And "lay you in the casket" is an especially horrible vision. I am constantly amazed by how many women experience domestic violence, and I knew one woman well who did not survive it. When reading the poem that strongly came to mind. Not that that was the writer's intent, but I read that line a couple of minutes ago and tbh I am crying like the pitiful bastard I am remembering the REAL casket.

[fundyfunland]

That would keep me from MEN.

The Bayly lot remove the cutesy veneer fundies generally put on fundy marriage, don't they. And "lay you in the casket" is an especially horrible vision. I am constantly amazed by how many women experience domestic violence, and I knew one woman well who did not survive it. When reading the poem that strongly came to mind. Not that that was the writer's intent, but I read that line a couple of minutes ago and tbh I am crying like the pitiful bastard I am remembering the REAL casket.

Speaking of which, I've often wondered how many of the wives in the fundie families we snark on, are truely the victims of domestic violence....well, on top of the entire controlling patriachy "lifestyle" they live. I'm sure it's probably quite high, and that, is so very sad to me.

Regarding the poem, I've been having a runnaway-bride, recurring dream (me being the bride) for about 5 years now. This poem pretty much sums up every emotion I feel as the bride in these dreams. If there was an inch of me that still thought I might want to get married, that inch is pretty much gone now. :shock:

[Caxpax]

meh- i thought the "i think you want a wife" poem was more revolting. i think this was written by a daughter in law, while the other poem was written by a daughter.

the bayly girlz- poetry u can haz some

[FemaleScientist]

That sounds like a horrid nightmare. I'd lay myself in a casket too. I feel horrible for girls who are in this situation and either don't know what they're getting into, or simply just can't get out because of their beliefs.

Wow, just reading these comments make me feel sympathy for these guys' wives. =\ Feminism = heresy = going to hell? I guess I'm ordering the fastest jet plane to the deepest, darkest pits of hell.

[jenny_islander]

I've been playing with an actual picture of what dying to self means:

u

become a part

and still become, apart,

and try not to come apart sometimes

u learn

not everyone chews the way u do

and they never will

u learn

babies cry when u are having fun

and have fun when u want to be asleep

and it is not about u

and most of life is not about u

u learn

who has your back

and how strong u and u are

u learn

epiphany

does not announce itself with trumpets

and neither does a diaper about to be flushed

down the toilet

u learn

a heartbeat, a voice, a dent in the bed

a step, a door opening, a presence in the room

become a part

of u

[maybeizfundie]

um, yikes?

I'm guessing they don't have a similar poem applying the "die to self" theme to men?

Also, Scripturally incorrect. Especially the "you disappear" bit.

[apple1]

The Bayly brothers should be in a locked-down psych facility. Really. There is no other explanation for their thought processes.

I am always astonished that they have any followers at all.